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common curtesy - 4/24/2004 8:16:42 PM

Posts: 2
Joined: 3/26/2004
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i have been reading for the last couple weeks many of the posts within this site. and what occured to me as having been a theme is... the lack of common curtesy.

between the posts about red flags.. and the posts about jealousy and misunderstandings due to lack of communication. so much of it is based upon.. common curtesy.

is common curtesy uncommon? i do not see it as a respect issue as much as i see it as a personal issue. perhaps as we become a generation more and more in tuned to being online... we are forgetting those common curtesies that we were taught.

just a thought. i enjoy the conversations on this site..it has caused me to rethink many things.

RE: common curtesy - 4/24/2004 9:49:38 PM

Posts: 247
Joined: 4/10/2004
From: Las Vegas NV
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I think certain things that are said trigger people to resort to name calling or lack of respect. We are all here to give our opinions and respect each other's opinions wheather we like them or not. Me personally, if someone dose not like my opinion then oh well. I'm intitled to it and I dont have to stoop to anyone's level to even answer back. I respect everyones opinion and if I dont agree, then I dont agree thats it.

< Message edited by GoddessMarissa -- 4/24/2004 9:50:49 PM >

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RE: common curtesy - 4/24/2004 10:07:03 PM

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Joined: 3/26/2004
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i dont think you understand what i was saying.. perhaps i wasnt clear enough. it seems... miscommunications are a common theme between people in relationships because they arent practicing common curtesy.

the red flags topic went on about how rude it is to be unanswered because one is doing something else or talking to many people instead of focusing on one conversation at a time. common curtesy would say.. you speak to one person and give them your attention undivided and make quality time count.

the posts on jealousy went on about how insecure a sub feels when she doesnt feel a connection with trusting her dom because of various reasons.. another example of common curtesy in my eyes. it is courtesy for her to approach him with her feelings..it is also curtesy for him to really hear her concerns.

one post went on about the various sites her dom was still using to "shop around" for other submissives. and whether any of this has validity in the relationship.. it has validity for the submissive. common curtesy says that if you are starting and valuing or wishing to retain a relationship.. you dont shop around. or you let them go if you dont wish commitment.

common curtesy... it seems harder and harder to find. what i am asking is... why? why are common curtesy and honesty seeming to be very rare qualities? are we as a society becoming multi taskers to the point we cannot be curteous? because we might "miss out"?

just wondering.

(in reply to GoddessMarissa)

RE: common curtesy - 4/24/2004 10:54:36 PM

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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I see tw0 things I do not agree in your statement quietsins
One I am NOT on a VANILLA BOARD with miss manners nor have I ever layed claim to b anything but Honorable in My Beliefs and I am a Sadist so where do you think that a Sadist would find curtisy within towards a Society that has allready deemed Them insane?
Second this statment is false:
quote:

miscommunications are a common theme between people in relationships because they arent practicing common curtesy.

I am not here on the boards having a relationship with anyone nor am I scening with anyone but putting to print My Opinions and thoughts and Teachings from Life experiance and I do not expect anyone to nessisarly agree with Me nor even for that matter read what I have to say.I do NOT candy coat MY feelings nor words and if anyone does not like what I see and feel and speak They can lump it!

(in reply to quietsins)

RE: common curtesy - 4/25/2004 12:13:59 AM

Posts: 247
Joined: 4/10/2004
From: Las Vegas NV
Status: offline

.

< Message edited by GoddessMarissa -- 4/25/2004 1:25:27 AM >

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(in reply to quietsins)

RE: common curtesy - 4/25/2004 1:20:14 AM

Posts: 247
Joined: 4/10/2004
From: Las Vegas NV
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessMarissa

quote:

i dont think you understand what i was saying.. perhaps i wasnt clear enough. it seems... miscommunications are a common theme between people in relationships because they arent practicing common curtesy.
You are right, there is a lack of commuication and courtesy between people in relationships, but that is my opinion in vanilla relationships. BDSM is the way I live in all aspects of my life. As far as relationships go, D/s is all about courtesy, respecting each other, setting rules, bounderies, understanding each other. Now as far as the board goes, we do not have relationships with each other so it is different. Like I said we are here to give our opinions. At first it did not sound like you were talking about personal relationships.

quote:

the red flags topic went on about how rude it is to be unanswered because one is doing something else or talking to many people instead of focusing on one conversation at a time. common curtesy would say.. you speak to one person and give them your attention undivided and make quality time count.
Personally I dont care if someone thinks I'm rude for not answering promtly. I have other things in my life to attend to.

quote:

the posts on jealousy went on about how insecure a sub feels when she doesnt feel a connection with trusting her dom because of various reasons.. another example of common curtesy in my eyes. it is courtesy for her to approach him with her feelings..it is also curtesy for him to really hear her concerns.
All this that you are talking about is your opinon and I respect that.

quote:

one post went on about the various sites her dom was still using to "shop around" for other submissives. and whether any of this has validity in the relationship.. it has validity for the submissive. common curtesy says that if you are starting and valuing or wishing to retain a relationship.. you dont shop around. or you let them go if you dont wish comment
Mabey you should start commenting on these issues instead of addressing them here.

quote:

common curtesy... it seems harder and harder to find. what i am asking is... why? why are common curtesy and honesty seeming to be very rare qualities? are we as a society becoming multi taskers to the point we cannot be curteous? because we might "miss out"?
I dont think common courtesy & honesty are rare but I deal with a certain few but that again is my opinon.

< Message edited by GoddessMarissa -- 4/25/2004 3:25:31 AM >

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RE: common curtesy - 4/25/2004 3:19:47 AM

Posts: 247
Joined: 4/10/2004
From: Las Vegas NV
Status: offline

Before you talk about common courtesy, look it up and spell it right.

< Message edited by GoddessMarissa -- 4/25/2004 3:49:06 AM >

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(in reply to quietsins)

RE: common curtesy - 4/25/2004 8:46:26 AM

Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline

As you read through the many many posts on this site, and many others you are going to find one thing above all others, quietsins, and that is the freedom to speak a thought, or an idea, an opinion, share an experience, whatever. Sometimes the discussions get heated, and there are times when courtesy doesn't appear to be prevalent.

It's like any other relationship, it grows with familiarity. The more you interact with someone, the more you come to like, or dislike them, respect, or disrespect them. Whatever the case may be.

We demonstrate what is important to us, individually. If courtesy is what is important to you, that will be demonstrated in your posts, regardless of the topic of whatever thread you are posting on. Of course, one must also take into account that some topics can get quite involved and intense.

One can read a board and comment from the sidelines, but unless they are actually involved in the discussion I don't believe they are qualified or have the authority to address the "tone" or content of the discussion in another thread. If you have something you want to address about a thread, take it to that thread and address it there. Tell them that you didn't feel they were being respectful or courteous, and then address their response to that.

I am absolutely going to disagree with Marissa in that I do not think there is a lack of communication at all! In fact, quite the contrary! We are communicating here!! We are not always in agreement, but that is the point, isn't it? As for courtesy, I believe that we demonstrate a modicum of basic courtesy that is more than acceptable, even when the recent threesome were at it, lol. They have graciously called a truce, and I admire them for that.

As far as the "boards" go, Oh contraire Ma' Fraire (sp), we absolutely do have a relationship with one another! We interact with one another damn near every day! How is that not a relationship?? I don't know if MizSuz hogs the covers or not, or if Gloria snores, if proudsub snorts when she laughs, or if Shade Diva actually says "yanno" in r/l, but I do know that on these boards they present themselves in brilliant and intellectual color, and and I absolutely adore London Switch and Topcat, Mistress Dread blesses my mouth with a smile every single day

, and Sandy does too with her wonderful honesty. I am going to miss rain, and look forward to her return.

Another thing I am getting really tired of seeing on here is reference to "spell check" and more often by those who also misspell. lol If you can figure out what the flipping word is, don't trip!

It's all good! Stay with us

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to quietsins)

RE: common curtesy - 4/25/2004 8:54:23 AM

Posts: 949
Status: offline

To attack someone for thier spelling, grammar or use of the english language is considered rude

I ask that this practice cease. We all knew what the original poster meant.

Since you do not have a board email account set up I ask here, that you edit your post.

ModeratorThree

(in reply to LadyBeckett)

RE: common curtesy - 4/25/2004 8:59:55 AM

Posts: 949
Status: offline

BTW.. my post was not directed at you LadyBeckett, I am the worst about hitting fast reply.

I also shall miss rain, we did not ask her to go, she chose that on her own. I am going to try to mail her today to see if she misunderstood, and ask her to come back.

ModeratorThree

(in reply to ModeratorThree)

RE: common curtesy - 4/25/2004 9:07:23 AM

Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline

How does one go about setting up a board email account? I have one on collarme, of course, but have no clue about how to set one up on the board. I confess, I am a ludite.

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to ModeratorThree)

RE: common curtesy - 4/25/2004 9:10:41 AM

Posts: 949
Status: offline

The "board" account is the one on CollarMe. (personal's page)

Sorry for any confusion.

ModeratorThree

(in reply to LadyBeckett)

RE: common curtesy - 4/25/2004 10:12:33 AM

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyBeckett

I don't know if MizSuz hogs the covers or not,

Actually, the truth is that my cat hogs the entire bed. I tend to keep the covers to a minimum, preferring a cool room and one foot out!

(Too much information???) <smile>

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- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to LadyBeckett)

RE: common curtesy - 4/25/2004 10:44:53 AM

Posts: 247
Joined: 4/10/2004
From: Las Vegas NV
Status: offline

I do apologize for my comment quietsins.

_____________________________

D/s makes the world go round~~
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(in reply to quietsins)

RE: common curtesy - 4/25/2004 10:56:16 AM

Posts: 247
Joined: 4/10/2004
From: Las Vegas NV
Status: offline

If you read what I said again, then you will see I was talking about lack of communications in relationships not related to D/s. When I said we don't have a relationship on the board, I was talking about personal relationships. We do have a relationship, but it is not personal to me.

_____________________________

D/s makes the world go round~~
www.Domina.ms/love

(in reply to LadyBeckett)

RE: common curtesy - 4/25/2004 11:25:45 AM

Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline

Ha Ha Ha Ha Oh don't get me started on the cat thang!!! Mine is a Dom!! But then...aren't they all???

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to MizSuz)

RE: common curtesy - 4/25/2004 6:57:31 PM

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

it grows with familiarity.

M'Lady,

Familarity breeds contempt.

Sorry this is not more than in jest. Essentially it is me too but I like pulling the cat's tail and living dangerously. (Go to the edge; The view is better

)

If courtesy is not at all important to you then you can be an ass?

Beleive it or not, I too shall miss rain. I can't speak foir her but I always felt it was in jest with her.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to LadyBeckett)

RE: common curtesy - 4/25/2004 7:50:33 PM

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

I also shall miss rain, we did not ask her to go, she chose that on her own. I am going to try to mail her today to see if she misunderstood, and ask her to come back.

I think rain is only gone for the weekend, don't worry she'll be back.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to ModeratorThree)

RE: common curtesy - 4/27/2004 6:34:08 PM

Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline

quote:

well I for one like to find out what people think about what signs are causing a red flag~
I'm new to on-line and that is how we find things out,
by learning~~

Sincerely, knees2You

(in reply to proudsub)

RE: common curtesy - 4/27/2004 7:23:54 PM

rain

Posts: 319
Joined: 4/13/2004
Status: offline

No worries ya'll, i'm still here. i only took a brief pause...and alas, here i am.

Nice to know i was (or will be?) missed.

Cheers,

~rain~

PS. in regards to spell check, i've yet to find one here on collarme.com, does one exist?

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(in reply to proudsub)

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