Samhain collaring (Full Version)

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Fitznicely -> Samhain collaring (10/25/2006 12:27:48 AM)

Damn, but now I've actually started this post, I don't know what to say...

Right, I'm dabbling with the idea of collaring my girl on Samhain. We're both pagans, so the idea of celebrating New Year with the sacrifice of her independance appeals to me.

This is just a thought in the making at the moment and I'm researching various rituals and trying to think up ways we could integrate her collaring into the celebration.

If it's OK by everyone, I don't want to get bogged down in discussion of whether or not either of us is ready in a SM sense. Suffice to say we both know we're ready for her to be collared.

Looking through the boards and profiles, I've noticed a few pagans and Wiccans hanging around, so I wondered if anyone out there had any thoughts or ideas to contribute.

Thanks,
Fitz



CrazyC -> RE: Samhain collaring (10/25/2006 1:46:18 AM)

Congrats! what an exciting Samhain to have it. There are many things you can do. None that i can think of at 2am, but the best advice is to do research...and fast since it is right around the corner. It is the Celtic new year, so using it as her letting go of her old life to start a new one could be worked in. Are you thinking of a full ritual, or just something special between you two?

i hope the best for you two. :D Blessed Be -c



Fitznicely -> RE: Samhain collaring (10/25/2006 4:19:03 AM)

Thanks C!

Research certainly seems to be the key. It's quite baffling, but I think I might have the glimmerings of a ceremony that's low on ritual but high on significance, which ticks most of my boxes.

It's just going to be a private ceremony between the two of us...although photos and video may well make it onto a website somewhere in due turn [:D]



FangsNfeet -> RE: Samhain collaring (10/25/2006 4:42:47 AM)

It makes not difference what you decide to use or not to use as a collar. The point is that it means something special for the both of you. If the two of you are happy, then no one else should step in and complain. There's no one way to do things. What works for you and yours is what's most important.

As for any ritual ideas, perhaps you would like a High Priestist to bless the collar. Make the collar apart of a hand fasting. Have a meaningfull ruin and or stone placed with the collar. With October being a big month for Druids, I'm sure an event will turn up where your collaring will only enhance whatever else you decide to do and not degrade any of yours or anyone elses beliefs. 



Silvermoon -> RE: Samhain collaring (10/25/2006 4:53:39 AM)

While Samhain is a widely-celebrated holiday amoung Pagans, it's also celebrated in vastly different ways, just as the religion is. I would say, anything that makes you feel comfortable. I know my own celebrations at this time are done very personally and in my own way. But in general this holiday is the time to celebrate the very thin line between life and death, time for peace, celebration of those who've past, and a time to remember. I don't know how knowledged you are in rites and ceremonies, but here's an idea.
With the veil between life and death so thin, perhaps that could also be a part of your celebrations (Remember to invite them in, but carefully acknowledging whom/what you bring forward) asking those who have already lived their lives and have come to learn peace, love and knowledge in ways we can not in life, to also look upon your relationship and to guide you when you can not see? A time for both those living and those past to support and bless you.
I tend to give my offerings in the form of smoke, as well as my promises and vows. Example: IN a collaring, each person writes their previous experiences which may have negative impacts on this relationship...they offer these in the form of ink to paper...and burn them over a flame as a signal of letting go (Use the same candle, it's symbolic and keep the candle in the home you share for 'luck') and allowing those on the other side to carry their burden so they may live free of them..perfect for Samhain. You can also write vows, etc and use the same form.

Just one idea of many.
Blessed Be
Silver



twicehappy -> RE: Samhain collaring (10/25/2006 5:01:03 AM)

I am druid, of an older type; it is our tradition that when we present bread, salt and the fruit of the harvest to the Mother in thanks we also gift our loved ones with something of the earth, perhaps  at this point in the ceremony you could present her with a metal collar? Silver being of the earth.
 
We also occasionaly perform joinings on this night, love and the pleasures of the body  being one of Our Lady's gifts, so maybe an altered joining ceremony?



Celeste43 -> RE: Samhain collaring (10/25/2006 6:42:14 AM)

I'm Jewish not pagan, so I can't speak to that. But I've known people who's birthdays are very near Christmas and they've always felt that what should have been their special day was just lumped in with the general celebration, that they were sold short. If Samhain involves a large celebration with lots of friends, then I wouldn't. Because this will be an anniversary and as such should be special and not forgotten in the overall celebrating.



MisPandora -> RE: Samhain collaring (10/25/2006 6:49:13 AM)

I'm not sure given my connection to the sabbat that I'd pick Samhain as the time to do my collaring rit.  At that time, when the veil is thin, I'm hyperfocused on those who have passed, and honoring my lost ancestors and friends and doing what needs to be done.  It doesn't feel right *for me* to dishonor that part of the trad and muck it up with my rit of a completely separate variety.  But I'm someone who looks at collaring much like a handfast, and would push towards Beltane for that type of rit.



CrazyC -> RE: Samhain collaring (10/25/2006 7:40:58 AM)

Beltain? Really? i was told to never do that, because the vail is thin at this point too, and the the Sabbat is all focused on sex. lol It is known by some to be the one time where commitments/marriages were null for the purpose of celebrating this season. They would gather on hills and have big orgys. :D It is one of my favorite Sabbats, because of this. ;) Traditionally, handfasting/ marriages were done during the harvest seasons. Though i do agree that i would not lean towards Samhain either...the vail is thin, and the energy always seems to do odd things to me. LOL

Fitz, i am so glad to know there might be pics. :D i was going to ask you to post them, but then thought that might not be possable. Goody, something to look forward to.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Samhain collaring (10/25/2006 8:02:25 AM)

Check out the 6 cord handfasting ritual. The page has many different rituals to look at.

To make it meaningful to the two of you, create your own ritual. There are the pagan basics, like creating the circle, calling the directions, dismissing the circle, etc. But, the stuff in the middle is often best created by yourself (write your own vows, so to speak). I'm more Native American in my spirituality, so I'm not totally familiar with the usual celebrations of the celtic pagan New Year. If it were me, I'd not focus too much on the fact that it's the holiday, but that it's chosen as your special day, with a date that's easy to remember. [;)]

Master Fire



Fitznicely -> RE: Samhain collaring (10/25/2006 8:16:59 AM)

Thanks all for your suggestions.

The pagan path we follow is very much geared towards personal choice and personal responsibility, so FangsNfeet - yep, agree wholeheartedly with your first part.

However, the ritual I had in mind was a quite basic affair and not something I'd want to share with anyone else.

Celeste43, it's great to hear a non-pagan angle and you're absolutely right. I wouldn't want to diminish the meaning of what we're about to do by lumping it in the middle of a larger celebration.

It would be especially memorable as we don't usually go out of our way to celebrate that particular Sabbat, even though we really should, out of all of them :)

CrazyC, this just goes to show the different approaches people have to the sabbats. I'd be more likely to choose Litha for a handfasting - and we may well do that, but I don't want to wait that long to collar her.

Twicehappy - Thanks for that, the idea of gifting with the metal of the collar and the joining of bodies does indeed echo something of the ideas I've been playing with.

While I have some inclination towards honoring the spirits while the veil is thin, I wonder if it wouldn't be more appropriate to concentrate our ritual on the passing of the old year - meaning my girls' life as a free woman, our life as a vanilla (well, kinda) couple - and asking for the God and Goddess's blessing and guidance as we begin our new life of Ownership and slavery.

As it's a good time for scrying, I had an idea of having a quick tarot reading as part of the ritual, too. Dunno what to do if the portents are bad, though [&:]

Hmm, all good ideas. I now have something of an outline down on paper, which is an improvement on the scatty "What am I thinking of??" panic that hit me this morning when it first occurred to me!



Fitznicely -> RE: Samhain collaring (10/25/2006 8:33:00 AM)

MasterFireMaam - Our posts crossed in the sending!

That handfasting ritual is interesting, thanks.

As you can see, I'm taking your advice and indeed building our own ritual around the basic form you mention. Thanks much.



CrazyC -> RE: Samhain collaring (10/25/2006 10:29:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fitznicely

CrazyC, this just goes to show the different approaches people have to the sabbats. I'd be more likely to choose Litha for a handfasting - and we may well do that, but I don't want to wait that long to collar her.



yea completely understand about not waiting, and i love how our path has so many diffrent ways of looking at the same thing. it show diversity...which is what really makes this world beautiful.



twicehappy -> RE: Samhain collaring (10/25/2006 10:38:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fitznicely


While I have some inclination towards honoring the spirits while the veil is thin, I wonder if it wouldn't be more appropriate to concentrate our ritual on the passing of the old year - meaning my girls' life as a free woman, our life as a vanilla (well, kinda) couple - and asking for the God and Goddess's blessing and guidance as we begin our new life of Ownership and slavery.


That sounds lovely, Our Lady of the Beasts smile on you, good luck and best wishes.



shadevarr -> RE: Samhain collaring (10/25/2006 11:13:22 AM)

Hehe, while reading this post I got a nice mental image of washing eachother. Her, kneeling in the tub arms raised upwards and then him, standing arms akimbo and legs slightly apart.  Dunno if that is any help but I tend to visualize my rituals ahead of time kinda like that and then expand upon them.



Fitznicely -> RE: Samhain collaring (10/25/2006 11:16:42 AM)

someone's been reading my notes :D



mistoferin -> RE: Samhain collaring (10/25/2006 11:20:29 AM)

Somewhere I read a beautiful piece about a Celtic tradition to wed on the eve of the New Year...as close to the New Year as possible. It was believed to bring blessing to the relationship. I've been searching for it but can't find it...if I do I will pass it along.



tobetreasured -> RE: Samhain collaring (10/25/2006 2:03:08 PM)

I'm a pagan and have done several rituals using the energy of this season, this is one of my favorite times of the year.  I see it as a time to let things go. This can be used to see a death of her old life, non collared, not owned, and coming into a new time of being collared. A death to self and all that means.    I'd think about doing a symbolic cutting away of that life, and your taking her into yours. 

You both bring an offering, and she offers a gift to you.  Of course, in a private setting I would incorporate sex magick and the symbolism of the change taking place (wicked thoughts ensue).

Congrats to you both!

treasured



MisPandora -> RE: Samhain collaring (10/26/2006 2:47:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrazyC

Beltain? Really? i was told to never do that, because the vail is thin at this point too, and the the Sabbat is all focused on sex. lol It is known by some to be the one time where commitments/marriages were null for the purpose of celebrating this season. They would gather on hills and have big orgys. :D It is one of my favorite Sabbats, because of this. ;) Traditionally, handfasting/ marriages were done during the harvest seasons. Though i do agree that i would not lean towards Samhain either...the vail is thin, and the energy always seems to do odd things to me. LOL

Fitz, i am so glad to know there might be pics. :D i was going to ask you to post them, but then thought that might not be possable. Goody, something to look forward to.

*laughs* Shows the differences in neotrad minds all over.



CrazyC -> RE: Samhain collaring (10/26/2006 7:20:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Somewhere I read a beautiful piece about a Celtic tradition to wed on the eve of the New Year...as close to the New Year as possible. It was believed to bring blessing to the relationship. I've been searching for it but can't find it...if I do I will pass it along.


yes there is somewhere...i have to clue as to wear exactly. i'll look in some of my books. a friend of mine had a wedding close Samhain, and it was beautiful.

oh yes...the real Great Rite would be a wonderful addition. :D  i remember in my handfasting that, during the symbolic Great Rite, i handed my love the challice as a symbol of giving him kingship over my domain.

Pandora. :) i love this path for that reason.




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