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RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 6/9/2004 12:22:04 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavenaria

If you are a true slave, all that you have belongs to your master.

to me, "all that you have" needs only be emotional and personal. i don't think anyone is "not a true slave" because they have finances seperate from their owners. indeed, some owners prefer financially independant slaves. i believe that one needs give over your personal and emotional self in -any- relationship, but especially in one of ownership.

also, though, statments like "true slave" both me, because i think that personal identification is what makes it true. i see no need to narrow definitions at all. if one chooses to identify as a slave, then they are one, in my book. that person's submission is between the individual and the individuals owner.

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RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 6/9/2004 1:42:21 PM

dommeTulsa

Posts: 5
Joined: 5/25/2004
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Darn, here goes my foot into my mouth again!! To be pretty and well dressed cost a lot of money compared to the 3 S's most men do.. shit, shower and shave.. put on old blue jeans and he is ready to go. I have no common inteerest with someone who has not a penny to spoil me with. Receiving gifts and demanding sub/slave to part with his money is a rush for me. But as the married guy, whose wife won't play (and lives in the nice house with the nice car and food in the frig) said the other day" I think $$$ changes the perspective of bdsm and it is not something I am interested in" Now you are telling me I should be self-sufficient, spend the hours per week to maintain my looks, spend the time online to find a decent guy and not expect to be rewarded for all that effort!!?? I don't think so... To me it is no different than the vanilla guy who thinks buying dinner entitles him to "a roll in the hay" Wake up guys.. how many desirable dommes do you know who are agreeable to paying their own way so you can play for free?? Ok, get the slamming started... just my opinion but who am I but a novice naturally dominate female?? But please be on your knees when you slam me, it is the least you can do!!

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Post #: 22

RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 6/15/2004 10:15:26 AM

Sundew02

Posts: 457
Joined: 2/6/2004
Status: offline

If all a male is looking for is a replica of barbie, then yes, they need to be prepared to pay for the facade. If a sub/slave is looking for a Domme, then he should expect to either pay for the items used on him, or the expence that the Domme has incurred to provide for him. I do not and will not ever expect a male to support my personal needs. If I want my hair styled, or a pedicure, it is for me, not for the slaves enjoyment, but mine. Gifts are always appreciated, and accepted. I do not hint or demand them. I do expect him to pay his own way. Wide smile, but then I my tastes runs to males that want to serve my everyday needs as well as accept the kiss of my flail. When a male lists all the things he would like or need to have done for them without any reciprocation of what he will do to make my life more enjoyable, my fingers naturally click the button and travel on. Sundew

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RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 6/15/2004 4:42:53 PM

JadeLady

Posts: 15
Joined: 3/31/2004
Status: offline

My personal opinion is that any info of a financial nature is something that should take place after the two indivduals have starting talking and decided they may be a good match. I do not like the fact that financial dominance is part of the interest column. To me, that just brings out all the money hungry counter parts.

I support myself and do not want to be dependent on anyone else. To me, that takes away part of your own freedom, making you depend on another to survive. I will not support my slave either though, I expect him to be able to support himself.

Be well, be safe.

< Message edited by JadeLady -- 6/15/2004 6:43:36 PM >

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RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 6/16/2004 2:48:08 AM

ShadeDiva

Posts: 1005
Joined: 3/31/2004
From: Sacramento, California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: dommeTulsa
you are telling me I should be self-sufficient, spend the hours per week to maintain my looks, spend the time online to find a decent guy and not expect to be rewarded for all that effort!!??

Yes.

The reward is in knowing you are doing for yourself it is the *same* reward as all self sufficent adults recieve in paying their bills in a timely fashion and in maintaining their health.

I'd also wonder why one would spend time online to find a guy, why not in real life? And wouldn't FINDING that decent guy BE the freaking reward?

Why would you *expect* that for you to do as an adult should do and in finding a good match in a partner deserves a greater reward than having no bills or debt, good health and a good partner? I'd say that IS the reward - not what material goods someone could give you.

Might wanna also consider using the word dominant instead of dominate.

And no, I'm not on my knees, cyber or otherwise. *chuckle*

JMO.

~ShadeDiva

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Post #: 25

RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 6/21/2004 10:41:25 AM

DomRaymond

Posts: 10
Joined: 6/7/2004
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If you are looking to pay there are enough whore houses to go to. Money should never be involved in this lifestyle. It is not about money. The problem I have with it is that a lot of so called subs are trying to use it to find a hubby. You would hope at best to find a good lasting relationship at best. Anything more join a dating group. If you dont have the patience to work at a relationship here then go pay a man/woman whore.

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Post #: 26

RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 6/21/2004 11:56:05 AM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
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quote:

My personal opinion is that any info of a financial nature is something that should take place after the two indivduals have starting talking and decided they may be a good match. I do not like the fact that financial dominance is part of the interest column. To me, that just brings out all the money hungry counter parts.

I am trying to figure out why a financial discussion would take place at all. In the context of a long term relationship it has validity, but in the context of initial meeting for coffee / chatting to see if one is a good match discussing employment information can be part of the conversation but I would find a discussion of money inappropriate.

That is, of course, just me...

Sinergy

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Post #: 27

RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 6/21/2004 3:55:18 PM

anthrosub

Posts: 843
Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline

i think the financial aspects of a potential D/s relationship will vary with each Dom/me and sub encountered just as all the other details will. And along the same principal, the same problems will be encountered, too. Some are honest enough to put everything up front but these are the exceptions unfortunately. We all have our insecurities and it's only human to embelish a little.

i tried right from the start to include what i thought were the important details and be honest about them but over the years have included or removed things when i thought maybe something was missing or turning people away. At this point, i've decided simply to show a picture and for the most part state my intent...the details can come later as they will need to anyway.

As far as what i'm willing to give (and this is my own take on being a slave)...i want to give completely of myself and only expect that the person i'm giving it to will recognize that we both need to meet life's demands (living expenses, retirement, and if i'm lucky...maybe an allowance). The best encounter i've had so far was with a dear friend of mine who unfortunately had to bow out of the lifestyle due to a severe heart condition. It was her intent to take over my finances but start up a retirement fund in case things fell through down the road or something happened to her.

i think this is something anyone planning on a long term relationship should be willing to discuss before making any commitments.

anthrosub

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Post #: 28

RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 6/21/2004 6:43:27 PM

Voltare

Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dommeTulsa

Darn, here goes my foot into my mouth again!! To be pretty and well dressed cost a lot of money compared to the 3 S's most men do.. shit, shower and shave.. put on old blue jeans and he is ready to go. I have no common inteerest with someone who has not a penny to spoil me with. Receiving gifts and demanding sub/slave to part with his money is a rush for me. But as the married guy, whose wife won't play (and lives in the nice house with the nice car and food in the frig) said the other day" I think $$$ changes the perspective of bdsm and it is not something I am interested in" Now you are telling me I should be self-sufficient, spend the hours per week to maintain my looks, spend the time online to find a decent guy and not expect to be rewarded for all that effort!!?? I don't think so... To me it is no different than the vanilla guy who thinks buying dinner entitles him to "a roll in the hay" Wake up guys.. how many desirable dommes do you know who are agreeable to paying their own way so you can play for free?? Ok, get the slamming started... just my opinion but who am I but a novice naturally dominate female?? But please be on your knees when you slam me, it is the least you can do!!

And they say romance is dead.

To me, Money does NOT equal love. If your only interest is mutual BDSM interaction, i.e. play partners, perhaps replacing the BDSM activity with something vanilla would put things in perspective. I expect on a hiking trip (instead of a scene) with a friend (instead of a masochist) that she would probably bring her own tent and sleeping bag (instead of her own fetish clothing and makeup.) I would expect to bring some of the supplies, food, etc (ropes, dungeon equipment, etc) but she should bring the things she needs as well. Just because I am more experienced as a hiker, doesn't mean she shouldn't have her own shoes (unless perhaps this is the first time and I'm showing her the ropes.)

If the relationship is D/s in nature, romantic, etc... then money should NOT be a factor initially. I know there are lots of people who marry for money, marry for power, position, etc etc - more power to them. I don't see it as healthy, in my myopic view of the world.

If a woman is simply a means of an end for me - then she ceases to be a woman, and starts being the piggybank. About six months ago, there was a huge disagreement between myself and a (cough) pro 'submissive' on this site, because of our strong mutual disagreement on those issues. My position hasn't changed - if money is part of the equation, then leave it as a business arrangment. Pretending it's something else is irresponsible and reprehensible.

Stephan

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Post #: 29

RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 6/21/2004 8:48:25 PM

confusetheswede

Posts: 48
Joined: 4/5/2004
From: THE DIRTY DIRTY
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one exploits the culture for money is a greed whore and the other will one day reach some sort of sexual nirvana.the end.

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Post #: 30

RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 6/22/2004 4:21:59 PM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I think there is too much confusion between a real pro and a woman who "might" meat you if you got cash.

A pro actually does something. (And, no, it is not prositution. The payer does not get to have sex, if sex is defined as his orgasm. [Usually, your mileage may vary

]) To think she should just drop everything, meet a strange guy, dress in a kink outfit, go right into playing without so much as dinner and a movie without compensation of some sort is idiotic.

That being said, however, there is a new breed intereseted in "financial domination". "She" is usually 29 and gorgeous. At least that is how "She describes herself. "She" may be a 52 year old fat man for all anyone can tell. "She" asks for money without providing a service in return. The best say they "may" meet you if you prove your self worthy. Oh, I command you to send me $500 and a list of vanilla e-mail contacts I can send a picture of you tied up and kissing a dildo if you fail.

There is a difference between a pro and the chicks who occaisionally write me letters addressed to "piggie".

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Post #: 31

RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 6/23/2004 6:56:27 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
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quote:

one exploits the culture for money is a greed whore and the other will one day reach some sort of sexual nirvana.the end.

I have plotted this on both a Venn and a rubber chicken graph and still cannot figure out what it means.

My initial thoughts, though, are that I agree with the sentiment.

Carry on!

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

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Post #: 32

RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 6/23/2004 6:57:08 PM

Sinergy

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Joined: 4/26/2004
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quote:

how fucking dumb are you?

I suspect I am pretty fucking dumb. Thank you for asking.

Sinergy

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"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

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Post #: 33

RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 6/23/2004 7:50:17 PM

confusetheswede

Posts: 48
Joined: 4/5/2004
From: THE DIRTY DIRTY
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let me fix this sentence for you, ms.handicapped : One exploits the culture and is a greed whore while the other one day will reach some sort of sexual nirvana.

and as a side note, that last bit is heavy sarcasim.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

quote:

one exploits the culture for money is a greed whore and the other will one day reach some sort of sexual nirvana.the end.

I have plotted this on both a Venn and a rubber chicken graph and still cannot figure out what it means.

My initial thoughts, though, are that I agree with the sentiment.

Carry on!

Sinergy