AAkasha -> RE: Financial Domination/slavery (12/2/2006 7:02:02 PM)
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ORIGINAL: timeoutgurlie jdtallfem - I *think* it's enough said. I'm a bit unsure whether I'm on the right track, but I'm thinking that part of the "respect" would be financial, as well as showing his respect through his service to you in any other way that pleased you. If I'm incorrect then sadly no, I didn't understand [X(] I'm also a bit disappointed that there aren't many replies, but I'm guessing maybe this is one of those topics nobody wants to touch with a 10 foot pole. Is it considered generally a "bad" form of domination if it's strictly financial? Do the majority share the feelings that were shared bu Hercuckslave? Hopefully it's not so bad as to be offensive entirely to even post about it. I'd just always assumed the only domination clients wanted from a prodomme would be the hollywood standards; being degraded verbally, tied up, spanked, whipped, that sort of thing. Now being here and seeing it's different has me interested in what it's like for REAL people rather than just characters in mainstream movies or mainstream documentaries about the 'lifestyle' -- which would be a misleading term to call what they propegate really, it was always shown as a once in a while business transaction mainly for corporate men needing to be out of their usual 'control' they experienced at the office and at home. Again, sorry if it's been offensive to anyone to have posed the questions that I did [:)] If you are talking about financial domination as the "core" of what the relationship is based in (vs. asking/demanding the sub send the occassional gift or tribute), I will warn you that it something that sounds attractive but there's no such thing as a free lunch. I've done a lot of phone domination (in the past, not so much now), and the "money pig" type slaves or those that requested "financial domination" were among the WORST when it came to wanting to control the fantasy. Men who have a fetish about being used for their money or dominated financial have an erotic relationship with their cash in such a way that they MUST retain control behind the scenes, period. They also risk getting scammed and burned, so they are (and have every right to be) meticulously anal about how the relationship would proceed. It's simply not worth the effort, and is the kind of fetish that sucks every ounce of passion out of the power exchange because of that. Like any "intense fetishes", realize that the femdom, to be effective, is essentially catering to the fantasy. This does not mean you get to spend all his money and he sends great gifts. It means if you want him to buy something, it better be worth his time, and something sexy to buy (forget about getting something functional that you need). And in most cases, financial "slaves" are downright cheap -- so, yeah, you can get a pair of shoes in your size, but they are either remarkably unfunctional (ie, they cater to his fetish) or cheap knock offs. And, you WILL have to dominate him, hour for hour, more than a working pro femdom would have to in order to earn the reasonable age to by the shoes herself. Other financial slaves like the IDEA that you will control his money, yadda yadda yadda, and will drain you with hours of talk or email talking about "how this will be arranged". Meanwhile, he's jerking off to each and every line of it, or wants to talk endlessly of it, but the reality of it NEVER comes to be. He will cut you loose before money is exchanged. This is what I have observed in others; personally, I stopped talking to "financial slaves" because the fetish itself was boring as hell. The times in my pay-for-play experiences where I would exchange "domination" for gifts because the sub liked the arrangement (ie, enjoyed "gifting" or "buying nice things" for the femdom as part of his submission) were clearly more one-sided (on the sub's side) than those that were a straight, pre-agreed upon exchange of money for domination. At least in those cases you know where you stand, and don't have to deal with a sub basically trying to manipulate the femdom with the promise of goodies or gifts. Finally, the "gifting slaves" or those into financial domination are among the WORST at common sense or romantic touch; in other words, yeah, you can expect that the guy may send a nice token or gesture, but only if you spell it out for him (and it meets his financial guidelines, so forget it of it's expensive) and work for the gesture. You can kiss goodbye the warm feeling of having a man send a nice gift, based on his imagination and heart, that comes and surprises you or takes your breath away. My advice? If you want to engage in any kind of domination for fee, do it straight across the board where BOTH parties know what they are getting out of it. Otherwise, you will end up frustrated, and you suffer the poor reputation associated with "financial femdoms." And, you get lumped unfairly into the category with scam artists ("send me $20 to prove you are sincere"). And before any irritable, bitter subs jump all over me for my knowledge/experience with pay for play domination, my career has nothing to do with S&m and I am the breadwinner in my femdom relationship -- my sub doesn't even earn an income. You can't call me a golddigger. I don't need the money. Akasha
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