How to get over an ex Master that doesnt want you as a slave but doesnt want anyone else to have you (Full Version)

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sweetobsession -> How to get over an ex Master that doesnt want you as a slave but doesnt want anyone else to have you (5/5/2004 9:51:16 AM)

well if you have read any of my post on this board you probably know that i lost my Master..well the big problem for me right now is the fact that everytime i am emotionally stable enough to move on and feel peaceful about letting him go it is like he senses it and one thing that my slave side thrives on is my ex Master's Dom side so he brings that side out and pulls me back in each time i try to escape and i have tried to fight him many times to show him he has no power over me but he ends up winning and i become a mess of emotions..i have had alot of people to say to me to stay away from him but in a sense that kills me because i still love him very much..he owns my heart...but then again it kills me when i am around him also it is like i am in pain over him 24/7 and i was wondering if maybe one of you might have some advice on how to get over this and to break his domination over me and to move on?



MistressDREAD -> RE: How to get over an ex Master that doesnt want you as a slave but doesnt want anyone else to have you (5/5/2004 10:49:22 AM)


you are obviously not only in a obsession
but a masocist as well. I see nothing sweet
about this obsession. Remember one thing
you cannot move on if your car is in park.
His side is the car in park and you will alway
have the motor of your emotions running in
idle if you continue to have your car parked
at His side. Remember S.S.C.F? Hello?
He is feeding off of your fumes from the exhaust.'
can you afford to continue to sit in the car in idle
and not get your tank ever filled up at the gas
station?DRIVE OFF HUNNY, BEFOR YOUR TANK
EMPTYS AND YOUR CAR DIES!



GoddessMarissa -> RE: How to get over an ex Master that doesnt want you as a slave but doesnt want anyone else to have you (5/5/2004 11:10:25 AM)

It sounds like you are going through the stages of grief & loss.

There are 5 stages
1~Denial
2~Depression
3~Anger
4~Bargaining
5~acceptance

When it comes to grief and loss, you have to go through these stages to heal your wounds. Sometimes it takes people years to heal because they dont realize what stage there in. It's normal to bounce around between depression and bargaining before you are in acceptance. In order to go through these stages to heal, you have to know what stage your in and then own up to it . It sounds like you are bouncing betwee depession and bargaining, that is common when your still healing. I went through it, and I am still going through it.



LadyBeckett -> RE: How to get over an ex Master that doesnt want you as a slave but doesnt want anyone else to have you (5/5/2004 11:31:10 AM)

barnes and I were just discussing that the other night when I responded to your post on another thread. I had said that you hadn't actually mentioned that he had died, just that you were moving on without him.

Your emotions are very real, however another reality is that you have got to move on, one step in front of the other. Just one at a time, that's all. You don't have to take off at a gallop here, just one step in front of the other, moving forward. Figure out what you want to do, how you want to do it, stay focused...talk to people. You stepped out of yourself and put it out here, and that is a step in the right direction...you are going to be alright. You are stronger than you think you are, and you'll feel it, just keep moving forward and stop looking back. That's history, you've got a future to focus on...your's.



sweetobsession -> RE: How to get over an ex Master that doesnt want you as a slave but doesnt want anyone else to have you (5/5/2004 12:07:20 PM)

thank you for your replies i did make the first step a few minutes ago i turned my back to him and now i am in limbo a little but i do feel better though



nysub29 -> RE: How to get over an ex Master that doesnt want you as a slave but doesnt want anyone else to have you (5/5/2004 4:39:21 PM)

I agree you need to get focused and find what it is you want but I also think if you want to get him out of your life you need to show him he has no control over you. I think the thing to do is get your emotions in order and prove to him he no longer controls you. Once he see's he no longer has any control he will move on. I think its less about you moving on and more about him moving on afterall he is the one who keeps dragging you back.
He's chasing after you, not the other way around, and you give in because it's what you do. He holds on because he knows he has control. You have to prove to him he doesn't.



Estring -> RE: How to get over an ex Master that doesnt want you as a slave but doesnt want anyone else to have you (5/5/2004 10:03:26 PM)

I always say that in a D/s relationship whatever dynamic exists must be a positive one. A Master should direct the sub or slave to grow and blossom in her submission.
This is not being done with you. He is being cruel to you, and beating you down. There is nothing positive in that. Be strong and move on.



MstrMrW -> RE: How to get over an ex Master that doesnt want you as a slave but doesnt want anyone else to have (5/5/2004 11:11:55 PM)

amen brother

I agree totally

painful though it may be, move on - maybe even move away (if possible/able to do so) so he does not have the access to you like he does now



sweetobsession -> RE: How to get over an ex Master that doesnt want you as a slave but doesnt want anyone else to have (5/7/2004 2:14:19 PM)

Well i tried something today, i had tried to think of how i could break his power over me and i came up with something, before he was ever my Master he was my bf and back then actually i hadnt entered the M/s world and i was more in control over him rather than him me..i just think honestly somewhere along the way i lost myself to him and i have to go back to the state of mind i was in before that happened..and i did experiment somewhat today letting him see he had no control over me anymore and of course before that he was barely talking to me let alone acknowledging me and when i showed him that he didnt have any control anymore and that my ways of thinking had changed of course he tried to do his thing and lure me back in but honestly i am really fed up with the pain and dealing with him so i am moving on, not saying that i am completely over the whole deal but just have found peace in letting him go, and again thank you for all of your comments it means alot to me that ya'll took your time to read this post and to respond to it



Estring -> RE: How to get over an ex Master that doesnt want you as a slave but doesnt want anyone else to have (5/7/2004 9:19:05 PM)

Good girl sweet. Now you see who really is in control. It is yours to give. Remember that.



sweetobsession -> RE: How to get over an ex Master that doesnt want you as a slave but doesnt want anyone else to have (5/8/2004 12:03:18 PM)

it is i just didnt realize it i just wish i would of realized it when this all started tho
quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

Good girl sweet. Now you see who really is in control. It is yours to give. Remember that.



ShadowHwk -> RE: How to get over an ex Master that doesnt want you as a slave but doesnt want anyone else to have (5/10/2004 6:16:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetobsession

it is i just didnt realize it i just wish i would of realized it when this all started tho


Don't be too hard on yourself about this - some realizations don't/can't happen until they become painful. Some lessons have to be learned, sometimes more than once. Just don't forget the lesson you learned.

Peace and Light
Terry



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