Changing dynamics

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Changing dynamics - 2/17/2005 9:31:27 AM

sprite67

Posts: 18
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline

My husband and I have been in a mostly vanila relationship for a number of years. He's known my interest in D/s from the begining and we've often played around with it for sexual encounters, for short periods of other "game" situations...but following an unrelated near-crisis in our relationship, we have reached a new level of trust and honesty and for whatever happy reason, one of his responses to that has been to have a much deeper interest in the D/s lifestyle, in making that a bigger part of our relationship, and in exploring how to expand it to include more of our real lives. YAY....

We do have 4 children living in the house, so our playtime must be discrete, and we've found ways to build into our lives in a very non-dramatic way the things that make us think about eachother that way. We know the basics... have no worries about safety, honesty, trust. We're looking for fun ideas to enhance the process as we slowly transition from occasional to most-of-the time D/s roles.

Our questions are this:

1) Have other people made similar transitions, and have tips, cautions, etc?

2) Favorite "rules" that work in your relationship, etc? We're playing with what to formalize and what not to. We think it would be good to do some things more formally than we have in the past, make some written rules, some sort of contract, or rituals.

3) Anything else you want to say that might be helpful?

Thanks! I think the people here are smart and loving, and I'm looking forward to your feedback.

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RE: Changing dynamics - 2/17/2005 9:52:16 AM

Tbelle

Posts: 9
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline

I can appreciate the wrigglies about so no parading around the house in slut heels. collar and dropping to your knees whener it is demanded but there are ways you can incorporate your lifestyle into everyday activities that no one will bat an eyelid at.

for us, its little rituals, eg, a simple cup of tea can become an offering if presented in the way he has requested, walking ever so slightly behind him whilst out, serving his and the childrens meal before your own, asking his persmission to use the net, sitting at his feet while watching tele

I'm not doing so well at explaining these but these are just some of what works for us, talk to your hubby about things you do that make life easier for him, it could be having his clothes laid out for him ready for the morning, turning down the bedlinen and waiting for permission to enter once he is settled

anything that makes life easier for him is a way of pleasing him in my mind.

when we first began we drew up a timetable of times when it was and wasn't appropriate, time off or non punishable times were obviously when the children were around and their needs must always be met before his, but you will find the more you talk about this, the more things you are already doing in serve him

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RE: Changing dynamics - 2/17/2005 3:26:25 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

These threads might give you some ideas:

rituals

special rituals please

routines

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

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