RE: How long have you been together?

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RE: How long have you been together? - 1/1/2007 3:04:05 PM

celticlord2112

Posts: 5732
Status: offline

How did your family come to be? If I may be so bold?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Raven3335

We Have been together as a Poly-Triad for Three years. We are a Poly-Pagan-Handfasted family consisting of Two Males and one female. Here is where the fun begins, I am a Dominate Sadistic, Masochistic, Daddy Dom, that is the handfasted Master over my lil girl/Domme, and also handfasted Master over her male Slave/husband. She (my lil girl submissive) is a total Domme (except for me) over her slave/husband, she is bi and is a switch. He (slave/Hubby) is also a switch and a very skilled and capable Top, as well as being bi.

Is a Poly family easy to build and maintain...not at all. It took us almost almost two years to get us to the point that we now all share the family under one roof. We are very comfortable and well alinged. communication and respect for each other has been the most successful key to our relationship. I think that once the family can all share the same space as a family, use the dynamics that have been built, then you can become a succesful family as well. Are we looking...Yes. We feel as a family that if we can bring in another female. we will grow stronger as a family. What we lack is total comfort in terms of having partners in our beds at any given time. being able to go and play at different functions with out one of us having to wait for another. Co Topping works well in many aspects, but in the end, one of us usually is waiting for an opportunity to play.

Now here is the hard part of being a Poly-Triad. WE have been searching and trying to find another individual to join our family. It has failed in all cases, at the same time we have made some wonderful friends. The main problem consists mainly of jealousy and love.While the prospective submissive have been capable of loving all of us, the jealousy of seeing other play, or feeling that they cannot share is a significant problem. It usually comes down to where they fall deeper in love with me and do not want to share that with the others. We make it clear that we have no intentions of marriage, we offer only our hearts and souls, wanting another individual that wants us as much, and yes, us, means the three of us.

(in reply to Raven3335)

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RE: How long have you been together? - 1/7/2007 12:36:54 PM

Saffron

Posts: 27
Joined: 2/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

How did your family come to be? If I may be so bold?

by Celticlord

If I may be so bold (and I often am lol) I will attempt to answer this since Raven is currently recovering from surgery and not spending much time on the computer these days.

I am the "lil girl/Domme" that Raven talks about in his post. How we came to be is pretty complex, as is most relationship beginnings I suppose.

My slavehubby and I had been in a TPE relationship as Domme/slave for a little over a year when I began looking for a Daddy-type. Conor (the slavehubby) had been very upfront about his interest in poly relationships and openness. I was actually the one who did a lot of balking over the concept. We pored over The Ethical Slut and a couple of other books about the topic - each writing notes to the other - for months and months during our courtship. It was ironic that in the end I was the one who "went looking" - with Conor's blessing of course. Conor knew before we started dating that I had wanted a Master and he had attempted to be that person for me (as he is a very good Top as well) but it just wasn't working for us. Conor felt a great desire to submit to me.....and it interfered with his ability to give me some of the harsher things that I needed. Such as the need to cry...or to be forced to do something that I was frightened of. A year prior to looking for Raven, we had decided to give up on Conor being the Dominant in the relationsip and on the concept of switching back and forth with each other. Both of us wanted a more intense experience, basically.

I met Raven on a site dedicated to ageplay relationships. I was hesitant to go into detail about my bdsm interests. I honestly figured that he was more the "sensual sweet Daddy" type person and not a Dominant/Sadistic type person at all. I was hesitant but I was honest - and he was pretty close-lipped about it beyond saying that it was fine with him and if we met and clicked we'd work it out.

Raven visited about 6 weeks after we met online. He came back again to visit. And again. And then he moved to be nearer to us. He got a small apartment and we made a schedule for seeing each other. It was only after meeting face to face that Raven revealed that he had years of experience with D/s and S/m and we began that adventure as well. Raven and Conor were both very respectful of each other and we tried to keep limits on time spent together and basically took the approach of going the speed of the person who was the most hesitant. It was Conor who eventually said that Raven should visit more.........and Conor who eventually said that we should all be under one roof. We let everyone's relationship develop organically and there did come a day where Conor expressed his desire to be submissive to us both.

So it evolved over time. We all had to give it room to do that and we all had to try to be aware of each other's feelings. Including mine - because loving two very different men and trying to be there for them and meet their needs is not easy. While they sometimes have to deal with having alone time when they'd rather not...I generally have to deal with becoming overwhelmed and never having that alone time.

It's all a great big juggling act. Sometimes we drop the balls. Sometimes we don't.

I hope that answer helps.

~Saff :)

(in reply to celticlord2112)

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Post #: 22