RE: am i a sub or not?

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RE: am i a sub or not? - 1/1/2007 4:44:58 PM

classykindasassy

Posts: 291
Joined: 12/13/2005
Status: offline

I know for myself that I'm a sub because I am not motivated to want the kind of control my Dom wants. I am not motivated to be a strong top, even though i possess a lot of sexual and sensual power. It is WORK for me to take charge, more work for me than it would be for him. I am content to let him control things. I do get testy from time to time, but it's more of a test than a fight. The degree of control he enjoys over me I find makes me feel cared for and protected, not suppressed.

As far as how much of your life is defined by this, you should feel free to have that go how you want. Some people live for 24/7, for some it's just about the scene and real life in the relationship is another compartment that has nothing to do with bdsm or power exchange.

I am a sub, yet in social arenas outside my relationship, I am often looked to for leadership because of my self-assurance in life. You will find many subs that share this quality, and plenty that are shy and meek in public life.

Takes all kinds to make the world go round.

_____________________________

"The less I seek my source for some definitive, the closer I am to fine." -The Indigo Girls

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

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RE: am i a sub or not? - 1/1/2007 7:00:41 PM

slavemaia

Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: youroneandonly

just wondering if anyone has some insight for me on this. i'm not sure if i am truly a submissive. how do you know? i don't live and die for this, it is a time of exploration for me. i'm independent with submissiveness in the background of my life.....if anyone has any thoughts on this for me i'd appreciate it. thanks.

i can understand your confusion. When i first got involved with BDSM i really didn't know where i "fit". i actually thought i was a Domme since i have alot of dominant type characteristics in my personality. One of the things that helped me identify my preference was reading erotica. i read stories with the female being dominant and being submissive. The latter turned me on whereas the former didn't. That helped me understand my real desires. It's not an easy thing to uncover if you've lived hiding it or denying it from yourself and everyone else all your life. Good luck on your journey.

_____________________________

She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

(in reply to youroneandonly)

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RE: am i a sub or not? - 1/4/2007 12:17:34 PM

pleasurebisub

Posts: 9
Joined: 11/4/2006
Status: offline

greetings to A/all
these are just my opinions learned from the years of being a submissive.
i am a submissive it is in my heart it is who i am i have no choice in it i am happier when i can serve some one and make them happy the smile or the hug i get in return is my reward it lights my heart. there has been many a time my life would of been easier if i was a Dominate but this is not who i am. Now in a work situation I am Dominate I am A personality aggressive in buisness I make the rules I wear the responsibility. but even there in buisness that is a form of submission for i need to take care of people protect them so being incharge in buisness i can do that. this lifestyle is not a easy one to follow it is like a octagon sword so many edges to watch and consider. look in your heart at you there is your answer.

pleasure submissive to Mistress Lila of the BDSM art gallery

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

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Post #: 23