obis
Posts: 412
Joined: 9/9/2005
From: Austin, TX, USA
Status: offline
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I remember one thing that made a big difference for me when I was starting out was to ask her for her opinion/ideas etc, but don't implement them right away. Yes, you're learning and she knows more than you do, so that puts her in the position of feeling like she's telling you what to do. Make sure that everything you do is done from the standpoint of you CHOOSING to do it, regardless of where the idea came from. It's a subtle distinction, but one that makes a lot of psychological difference. Just waiting a little bit before doing something makes clear that you'll do it when YOU want to do it, not when she tells you.
And of course try to get as many ideas from her at once, forcing her to be explicit. Remember those ideas and draw from them in the future, which will still allow you the element of surprise and control despite doing exactly what she asked for. I'd never do EXACTLY what she asked for, either -- always change something up, having her get confident that she thinks she knows what you're doing and then going in a different direction is another good use of control and surprise.
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