RE: "a submissive should know her place"...what is a submissive's place?

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RE: "a submissive should know her place"...wh... - 2/3/2007 9:06:23 PM

catize

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld

After putting some real thought into this and spinning the dial... I say "Right Hand on Blue!"

His hands look pretty 'busy' in his pic, maybe you could re-spin that dial and hope for 'left foot up ass'?

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RE: "a submissive should know her place"...wh... - 2/3/2007 9:08:43 PM

Wulfchyld

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cat!!!!! OMG that was funny!

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RE: "a submissive should know her place"...wh... - 2/3/2007 9:12:24 PM

RavenofPK

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Just what in the hell was that for? Do we need to bring this decent discussion back down to the level of the other one? I would certainly hope not. So don't start.

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RE: "a submissive should know her place"...wh... - 2/3/2007 9:14:56 PM

DominantEngineer

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Of course a slave should know her place. But the Dom must tell her what he expects her place to be. If you don't agree with it then you don't submitt to him (or her).

Domination through intimidation, although easier, is not the form of domination that interests me. My sub must respect me for who I am an then willingly give herself to me. Only then can she be truely dominated. But before that, her place, and mine, must be fully discussed. A submissive is not a mindreader and neither is a master. I find it rude to expect respect, much less submission, from someone I have never met face to face.

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RE: "a submissive should know her place"...wh... - 2/3/2007 9:15:16 PM

catize

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenofPK

Let me clarify:

Submissive does not mean sexual or servile. It simply means deferrent. It's hardly rocket science. I have found that the most difficult task a "self-proclaimed" submissive can do is hold her tongue. It's amazing at how often that very simple act can diffuse any possible misunderstanding.

Serve well.

Deference is defined as respect, regard, reverance and admiration. I don't owe anyone deference until they have shown the qualities that would evoke those feelings.

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RE: "a submissive should know her place"...wh... - 2/3/2007 9:17:09 PM

stef

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenofPK

Let me clarify:

Submissive does not mean sexual or servile. It simply means deferrent. It's hardly rocket science.

But since this isn't Gor, there's nothing that says she has to be "deferrent" to you or anyone else she doesn't wish to be. Just because she isn't deferent to you doesn't invalidate her submission to the one(s) to whom she is deferent. It's hardly rocket science.

quote:

I have found that the most difficult task a "self-proclaimed" submissive can do is hold her tongue. It's amazing at how often that very simple act can diffuse any possible misunderstanding.

Not trying to cram your 'One True Way' claptrap down other people's throats would be another way to defuse any possible misunderstanding.

~stef

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RE: "a submissive should know her place"...wh... - 2/3/2007 9:18:55 PM

prettichinadoll

Posts: 35
Joined: 12/16/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: reamer

I think that the OP is submissive to a journalistic and/or writing career rather than a sexual submissive, based on the threads started where prettychinadoll does not reply to people asking her questions back, but hangs back and sees what fruit falls from the tree.

I feel that I have to reply this one LOL. I'm not a journalist (although I'm flattered that you think of me as such). If you go read my profile, you'll know I'm an art student who work full time, go to school full time, and accept free lance works. I have a lot to say, that's for sure, but I normally don't have much time to say it. and Even if I do, I don't have a lot time to reply other people. For that, i do feel sorry.

But try looking at this in a different way, the reason for me to post here, is to let people know how I think. and hopefully, by reading my post, other people will start thinking too (not necessarily in my way, but at least there's something I noticed, and I want other people to think about it too). Make no mistake, i don't say much, but i read a lot.

take example of my previous post, illusion of power, I read everything. but don't feel that I need to say anything. I've said everything I need to say in the main post. Everything else, well, that's just how other people take this matter. I read it, I learn from it, I have no intention to "make" other people change their idea, so why reply?

I presume many people who posted in a message board is hoping to "make" other people see things in their way, to change other people's point of view. I don't want to change anyone, I don't feel that I need to "defend myself" in a message board. and there're very few people in this world whose opinion I actually care about. So, yeah...i say something, and no, i don't reply if i don't feel like I need to.

and Thank you Wulfchyld :) you're very kind to defend me. I appreciate it.

As to this post, I agree that if a slave is owned, her place is where her Master want her to be. and I do agree with Jeff, that the "place" is more of a mind space. It is a "self-awareness", that a submissive, ownered or not, needs to know what she wants in this lifestyle, and what it takes to get it. But I doubt most of people who use that phrase actually mean it that way lol. then again, that's just my persumption.

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RE: "a submissive should know her place"...wh... - 2/3/2007 9:20:46 PM

CollaredCat

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quote:

ORIGINAL: prettichinadoll

So even as a submissive, I don't appreciate the words such as "I demand respect!" or "You should know your place, slut!" or "a submissive should always kneel..." and such.

My first instinctive response to these things in a profile is to laugh 'yeah, right!' Respect is earned. Demand all you like, you won't get it from me. 'Course, that could mean I'm not a 'true submissive', whatever definition one wants to put on it. Funny, the only man I truly respect has never asked or demanded it .. has never 'put me in my place' .. has always treated me with the utmost respect and consideration - how 'undomly' of him. He's the only one I've ever called Master or even wanted to do so.

Before a submissive make her decision to submit, she is just as much as a person as any dom (i think even a submissive submit to a dom, she's still as much as a human being as her dom or any dom, but i know some people don't agree with me on that). So i think, a submissive's place in front of a dom, whom she hasn't made the decision to submit, should be equal. She should be respected the same way the dom respect any other person, submissive or not.

I agree with you. I'm probably in the minority, not that it matters.

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RE: "a submissive should know her place"...wh... - 2/3/2007 9:25:19 PM

Wulfchyld

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I'm on the ~stef wagon here man. A sub/slave needs only to hold her tongue in respect to her D or his/her peers that have his/her D's, and also his/her, respect.

Not one sub/slave here owes me anything, what so ever. If I am obtuse with one she or he has every right to be curt, nasty, or just down right belligerent with me, just as I do with him/her.

If I am going to sow it I better be ready to reap it.

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RE: "a submissive should know her place"...wh... - 2/3/2007 9:27:57 PM

juliaoceania

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenofPK

Let me clarify:

Submissive does not mean sexual or servile. It simply means deferrent. It's hardly rocket science. I have found that the most difficult task a "self-proclaimed" submissive can do is hold her tongue. It's amazing at how often that very simple act can diffuse any possible misunderstanding.

Serve well.

There are some people in this world that choose to be only submissive to people that merit it. I am not submissive to the world of dominant strangers over the internet. I am submissive only to my Daddy. I have no burning need to be submissive to anyone else, and he would not like it if I were. I am HIS, not anyone else's. He does not want anyone but him to tell me to do anything... he tells me.

I value my submission much too highly to cast it before strangers like pearls before swine. Getting my submission should mean something. That is my personal view on my submission.. which it belonged to me until I gave it to another... otherwise I could not consent to submit in the first place.

I am not deferential to anyone but him, period. I try respect all of people, but deferential... no. And since it is unlikely that you would not want one such as me, and I would not want one such as you.. it really makes no difference if I fail your submissive test. I passed another's test with flying colors, and he has pretty discriminating standards, so I think his test means more to me.

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 2/3/2007 9:30:10 PM >

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RE: "a submissive should know her place"...wh... - 2/3/2007 9:36:06 PM

texancutie

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Not sure that matters reamer. She has a valid question. An unowned slave or submissive does not need to be told by an online Dominant where her place should be.

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RE: "a submissive should know her place"...wh... - 2/3/2007 9:37:37 PM

RavenofPK

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Nevermind. It's not worth it. You missed the point. And you did it on purpose, because I don't believe you are that stupid (and that was a compliment, before you kneejerk another smartassed statement.)

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RE: "a submissive should know her place"...wh... - 2/3/2007 9:39:40 PM

CollaredCat

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenofPK

It simply means deferrent. It's hardly rocket science. I have found that the most difficult task a "self-proclaimed" submissive can do is hold her tongue.

I defer to someone I respect. That doesn't come from a profile or a few posts or emails. It won't happen because someone TELLS me I must or say they deserve it just because they think they do. As for 'holding her tongue' - communication is a two way street. Seems to me with only one person doing all the talking it would increase miscommunications between two people. I will say there are times where more listening would be appropriate and helpful. Don't think it's just the submissive who should do so though. YMMV

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RE: "a submissive should know her place"...wh... - 2/3/2007 9:48:45 PM

RavenofPK

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So........to your way of thinking..........telling someone to piss off because they made you mad, is necessary for "communication"? There could not be another way of perhaps expressing your feelings? That's what I am talking about when I said "holding your tongue".

It's not *what* you say.......but *how* you say it.

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RE: "a submissive should know her place"...wh... - 2/3/2007 9:51:53 PM

stef

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenofPK

Nevermind. It's not worth it. You missed the point.

If that's true then we all missed it. I thought your point was that catize couldn't possibly be a submissive because she didn't "hold her tongue" or show deference to you. If that wasn't your intention, by all means, please explain what was.

~stef

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RE: "a submissive should know her place"...wh... - 2/3/2007 9:56:35 PM

RavenofPK

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It was a general statement. Not a specific referrence to her, reacting to me. There was nothing personal about it. Sheeeesh. And now *you* want to speak nice?

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RE: "a submissive should know her place"...wh... - 2/3/2007 10:01:21 PM

stef

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Strangely enough, if you're nice, people will generally be nice in return. It's just one of those funny things.

~stef

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RE: "a submissive should know her place"...wh... - 2/3/2007 10:07:02 PM

juliaoceania

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenofPK

So........to your way of thinking..........telling someone to piss off because they made you mad, is necessary for "communication"? There could not be another way of perhaps expressing your feelings? That's what I am talking about when I said "holding your tongue".

It's not *what* you say.......but *how* you say it.

Telling anyone to "piss off" because you lack control is a show of lack of control. It has nothing to do with being submissive. I do not think well of people who lash out because they are angry, and I most certainly would not find that a very good trait for a dominant to have either.

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RE: "a submissive should know her place"...wh... - 2/3/2007 10:11:09 PM

RavenofPK

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Of course. But only on an equal playing field. Of which I don't view women being equal to me. BUT..........before you go all "woman power" on me............this is simply how *I* feel. You don't feel that way. Obviously. And that's okay. I do not apologize for my views. But I will defend them if attacked, simply because what I believe pisses you off. Which brings us, once again, back to my original point. Be pissed off. No problem with that. But be pissed off..........silently. I may know you are pissed......I may not. But if you voice it, I definately will know, and the battle is on. Then the Mod gets involved, and it's a whole thing.

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RE: "a submissive should know her place"...wh... - 2/3/2007 10:15:36 PM

RavenofPK

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Not sure how or why you turned this around to it being the dominant telling the submissive to piss off, but that was definately not what I said. So using your own criteria of people not having control of their anger to say such things, apply it to submissives, who, more often than not, are the ones who are telling dominants to piss off. May not like that, but sometimes the truth hurts.

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