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Let's talk about orgasms - 2/13/2007 11:23:43 PM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline 		I have been around for a while and have read repeatedly on this board and others, of women with trouble orgasming. I have no such trouble, and while I'm not trying to brag or rub it in (cause it must suck to have that problem) I often wonder if I am on the opposite end of the spectrum. When I am aroused by a lot of foreplay I can orgasm within a few minutes, a few seconds if I let myself! I go through periods of extreme horniness and then periods of being less so but recently I went through a few weeks where I was not only NOT horny at all but absolutely unable to get myself aroused if I tried. I felt for the first time what it must be like for some women who have this as a perpetual problem. Luckily, I think my dry spell was due to being over-stressed and away from my partner because spening a weekend with him fixed me right up. But I'd really like to hear from everyone on all sides. No real question I suppose, just thought this could be interesting conversation.

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Let's talk about orgasms - 2/13/2007 11:30:26 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		And what do they all have in common?

They've never met ME.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

I have been around for a while and have read repeatedly on this board and others, of women with trouble orgasming.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Let's talk about orgasms - 2/13/2007 11:31:09 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

And what do they all have in common?

They've never met ME.



Confidence is so sexy.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Let's talk about orgasms - 2/14/2007 12:00:23 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I have went through a few odd periods when it comes to orgasms. I rarely used to orgasm with a partner, although I could alone. I was extremely orgasmic, but  I could not relax enough to orgasm with a partner. I was also easily aroused, and aroused by sex.

Right after my son was born I went through several months with no sexual appetite. Having the appetite but not orgasming is not the same thing as no arousal at all. What you described is not the same thing that every woman that has trouble orgasming experiences. Many are aroused, they just cannot get off.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
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RE: Let's talk about orgasms - 2/14/2007 12:08:10 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Well, my husband and I rarely had sexual relations, so I almost forgot what orgasming from being with a man was like - but I never had trouble making myself orgasm. However, for years when I was dating, I had trouble with finding intercourse pretty painful - which sometimes ruined it for my partners, because I would be trying to tell them I was enjoying myself, but would have tears in my eyes the whole time, which they had problems believing.

I later found out (when I mentioned it to my Ob-Gyn doctor) that I had some kind of growth on the inside of my vagina. He removed it, and now I can orgasm with no problem.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 2/14/2007 12:21:10 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
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RE: Let's talk about orgasms - 2/14/2007 7:36:18 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It is more common than not for women to have problems orgasming, or to have more energy needed to orgasm.  I think a large part of this is due to the physiology of the female orgasm, and the social expectations/relationship/personal perspectives which females are generally raised with.

The good news is, that with some understanding, patience and practice, most women can learn to enjoy orgasms just fine.  The bad news is, a lot of women don't choose situations for themselves that have much understanding, patience or practice involved.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_807810/mpage_1/key_orgasm/tm.htm#808395
problems reaching orgasm

http://www.collarchat.com/m_118872/mpage_1/key_faking/tm.htm#120062
Faking Orgasm

http://www.collarchat.com/m_125421/mpage_1/key_faking/tm.htm#125432
My Master can't make me orgasm

http://www.collarchat.com/m_672287/mpage_1/key_fake/tm.htm#672407
I'm sorry Master, but I can't cum

http://www.collarchat.com/m_588912/mpage_2/key_orgasm%252Ccontrol/tm.htm#592158
orgasm on command?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_412753/mpage_1/key_cum%252Ccommand/tm.htm#412758
cum control

http://www.collarchat.com/m_313958/mpage_4/key_orgasm%252Ccommand/tm.htm#318568
cum on command 

http://www.collarchat.com/m_400934/mpage_1/key_cum%252Ccommand/tm.htm#400996
orgasm on demand


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
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RE: Let's talk about orgasms - 2/14/2007 7:54:44 AM   
BBBTBW


Posts: 836
Joined: 5/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

It is more common than not for women to have problems orgasming, or to have more energy needed to orgasm.  I think a large part of this is due to the physiology of the female orgasm, and the social expectations/relationship/personal perspectives which females are generally raised with.



Funny you should mention the energy it takes to have an orgasm.  I have fallen asleep a few times when using self pleasure techinques.  I was generally using the self pleasure techniques to relax, so I guess it worked.

Usually I have no problem reaching outrageous orgasm on my own, but with a man, its a different story.  They are usually so so.

< Message edited by BBBTBW -- 2/14/2007 7:55:43 AM >

_____________________________

"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means" -- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Let's talk about orgasms - 2/14/2007 8:02:55 AM   
pianogirl


Posts: 1329
Joined: 10/13/2006
From: Alberta Canada
Status: offline 		One thing that many people are not aware of is the impact of pharmaceuticals on the female sex drive and ability to orgasm.  The biggest curse to the modern woman, while at the same time being a life saver for many of us, is the class of drugs know as anti-depressants.  After all - how many people haven't heard of Prozac? While the new generation of drugs are safer for women - some even to the point of being safe through pregnancy and nursing (Luvox, for example), these drugs decrease the sex drive dramatically.  Hard to reach orgasm if you're not even interested - isn't it.

Another point - which others have raised here - is the ability to "get off" by oneself - but not with a partner. This comes from a problem with communication.  Many of us (I'd guess age 35 and older) grew up with mothers who did not discuss sex.  Sex was bad.  Sex was for procreation only.  You can't touch yourself - for any reason (perhaps one reason why by the time the doctors found my mothers breast cancer - she had already been given a death sentence). We grew up where you just didn't talk about it.  So ...... my point being ..... if you don't communicate about sex - how do you tell your partner what works and what doesn't.  We know where to touch, how hard, how fast, angle, all that stuff.  But unless we can open up and guide our partner - orgasm with our partner is going to remain a "mission impossible".

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Let's talk about orgasms - 2/14/2007 8:40:38 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		Since our orgasms come from our brain it is a complex issue. Women can have problems orgasms like many have already mentioned. Medical issues, temporary life issues, not being comfortable with the other person or sex with others in general, have been conditioned or just cannot but have an orgasm by doing something or some pattern specifically and probably a bunch of other reasons.

Personally my dry spells have always been life/stress related where I have just not been in the proper frame of mind whether going through day to day or when it was time to put out for my Master.

Not to hijack the thread but I am curious as to how many women know ahead of time before foreplay starts that they know they will have an orgasm or won’t have one based on how they are feeling at the time and not based on the partner.


_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to pianogirl)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Let's talk about orgasms - 2/14/2007 8:45:47 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez
Not to hijack the thread but I am curious as to how many women know ahead of time before foreplay starts that they know they will have an orgasm or won’t have one based on how they are feeling at the time and not based on the partner.

Most of the time, or I will know what WILL be able to get me off and what won't.

Sometimes I'm surprised, but rarely.

Most of the time it's "I'm horny and want to get off"  So we start working on it.  At some point I know "Yes, if I keep doing this, I WILL cum."  But until I reach that point, there's no knowing for sure, you could work on me for hours and it's just not there, even if I'm really horny and really wanting it.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Let's talk about orgasms - 2/14/2007 8:50:36 AM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		I always know and if I am not especially in the mood I won't even try.  If I am being generous, I can enjoy it, and roll over to go to sleep.  But, I am a fairly orgasmic person.  My sex drive ebbs and flows based mostly on my stress level at the time.  But, I think in general I prefer quite the healthy sex life and it is rare that I don't reach orgasm.  Things that will affect me are my mood and alcohol. 

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Let's talk about orgasms - 2/14/2007 8:51:44 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline 		I am in favor for orgsms dor all and as many as they want

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Let's talk about orgasms - 2/14/2007 9:24:16 AM   
hereyesruponyou


Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline 		There are time when i know i will orgasm, and certain things that almost always lead to orgasm. But the best times are often when i am feeling a bit neutral and my body kicks into orgasmic overdrive....unexpected pleasure is always oh so nice!!!

_____________________________

Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be


(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Let's talk about orgasms - 2/14/2007 9:47:48 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		this slave has had spontaneous orgasms, fully clothed, without any sexual stimulation of body or mind preceding the event.
 
this slave has also been physically fully sexually aroused for long periods of time, without stimulation---orgasming over and over again providing no "relief".  last year this slave read some info about a "syndrome" that has all of the characteristics of what this slave has experienced that researchers are investigating, "Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome"...but as all of this is not a PROBLEM for Master or His slave, currently this slave is not seeking any form of treatment.
 
this slave has been able to orgasm since her age turned from single to double digits--physical "warm-up" is unnecessary---mental "warm-up" is a must.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Let's talk about orgasms - 2/14/2007 11:32:08 AM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline 		as an adult, it's been extremely difficult for me to reach orgasm. the odd thing is that as an UM, i masturbated to orgasm frequently. after puberty something just changed, not sure if it was one dramatic thing or a combination of factors.
these days, it's extremely rare for me to orgasm. i can actually count on 2 hands the number of orgasms i've had in the last 10 years...and still have a finger or 2 left over. the last time i orgasmed was at least 2 years ago. however i don't have a problem becoming sexually aroused...EXCEPT when i'm actually engaged in a sexual act, which is strange i know. i can be horny as heck all day long while washing dishes, doing laundry, vacuuming, feeding the cat, etc...then when i actually get to suck a cock or have one inside of me, i instantly dry up. this has only been in the last few years...prior to that i had the opposite problem, of being TOO "wet" and physically aroused, to the point where it made intercourse very unpleasureable, at least for me, since i prefer intense friction, even pain with penetration.

i'm fortunate enough not to have a Master that has an interest in orgasm control or things of that nature. He would never do anything to or with me with the intention of sexually arousing me. however i do get the sense on rare occasions that it might bother his ego slightly. but he's told me repeatedly how he would much rather have an obedient, selfless slave who was completely nonorgasmic, to a highly orgasmic slave who would focus on their own sexual desires or drives. still, sense it's "allowed" by my Master, i do sometimes think i would like to be able to reach orgasm a bit easier and a bit more frequently. even once a year would be major to me...but, given my submissive/passive/guilty nature, and also the fact that physically i seem to have different buttons than most women (for instance, i've never seen or even heard of a woman that masturbates anything like the way i do)...it doesn't seem likely.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Let's talk about orgasms - 2/14/2007 11:49:07 AM   
sweetnsensual


Posts: 61
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline 		I'm just wondering, what "for instance, i've never seen or even heard of a woman that masturbates anything like the way i do" means.  What is the way you do?  I'm not trying to get too personal or anything, I'm just curious of how you think other women masturbate. 

Have you thought maybe it was a physical or psychological problem?  Maybe a visit to a doctor might be beneficial to you (if you haven't already).  Just a thought--if it is a problem you want corrected, that is.  Just a thought.

(in reply to daddysprop247)
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RE: Let's talk about orgasms - 2/14/2007 11:51:45 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

And what do they all have in common?

They've never met ME.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

I have been around for a while and have read repeatedly on this board and others, of women with trouble orgasming.



I was thinking the same thing...not that what they have in common is that they haven't met you but rather...they haven't met ME...
because I have one thing going that you don't......I haven't got those big ole elephant ears. 

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Let's talk about orgasms - 2/14/2007 11:56:05 AM   
pianogirl


Posts: 1329
Joined: 10/13/2006
From: Alberta Canada
Status: offline 		ouch!

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Let's talk about orgasms - 2/14/2007 11:58:06 AM   
TwistedLady


Posts: 29
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline 		I didn't have my first orgasm until I was 28 years old, and it certainly wasn't because of lack of participation. I'm still somewhat lost as to why it took so long. Actually, no I'm not. It took an older man who had no problems using...toys. I hate to admit it, but even now, I find I cannot orgasm with partners. It basically takes me and my toys...and a bit of alone time.

I think it has a lot to do with different levels of sensitivity and comfort.

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Let's talk about orgasms - 2/14/2007 11:59:27 AM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnsensual

I'm just wondering, what "for instance, i've never seen or even heard of a woman that masturbates anything like the way i do" means.  What is the way you do?  I'm not trying to get too personal or anything, I'm just curious of how you think other women masturbate. 

Have you thought maybe it was a physical or psychological problem?  Maybe a visit to a doctor might be beneficial to you (if you haven't already).  Just a thought--if it is a problem you want corrected, that is.  Just a thought.


hey sweetnsensual. the way i've seen other women orgasm, whether it was in person or in some porno, is typically lying on the back, or sitting upright with legs spread, fingers playing on and around the clitoris. sometimes an insertable toy is used, sometimes not, but always there's the basic clit-diddling motion.
the only way i've ever been able to masturbate has been to lie down flat on my tummy, with my two hands balled in a fist under me. i then kind of hump my fist. something being inserted while doing this feels nicer, but usually just isn't practical because of the position. but, it's very rare that i masturbate anymore, and i haven't done it to orgasm since i've been an adult.

now that i've thoroughly embarassed myself.....how is it that you masturbate? or have you ever heard of a woman masturbating in the way i described?

(in reply to sweetnsensual)
Profile   Post #: 20
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