Collarchat.com

Create a
Free Account		 As the Collar Turns:
 Collarchat.com - BDSM Forum

Home  Login  Search 
Espanol  Deutsch  Francais  Italiano  Portugues 

Mentoring


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Gorean Lifestyles >> Mentoring Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Mentoring - 2/16/2007 12:29:58 PM   
ygraine


Posts: 674
Joined: 10/10/2006
Status: offline 		I started in a new job this year and I was assigned a mentor to help me over some of the rough spots and help me understand how my workplace functions.  I am taking this a bit further, to this particular way of living: Do you or have you had a mentor that guided you down the right path? Was this person on or off line? Does that matter? Was this person in fact Gorean or Gorean influenced? Was your mentor male or female? How did this person lead and guide you?
Do you think some sort of mentoring, formal or informal, would be a good thing for those wanting to know more about this philosophy? I think this applies to both men and women who live in the influence of the Gorean ethos.
Thank you for your input.
Y

_____________________________

If you think something is too good to be true, it probably is.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Mentoring - 2/16/2007 12:40:10 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline 		You ever hear that thing that goes... It takes a village to raise a child?
 
Gor needs its villages.

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to ygraine)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Mentoring - 2/16/2007 12:57:00 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4212
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Los Angeles, CA
Status: offline 		I've led a pretty sink or swim life.  Thus, I would like to thank 'bad luck' for being such a patient, tireless, and faithful teacher.  Preparing for the worst to always happen eventually taught me never to trust to fate, chance, or superficial smiles.

Stephan


_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to ygraine)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Mentoring - 2/16/2007 1:08:03 PM   
noyeh


Posts: 501
Joined: 4/4/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings ygraine,

I think that having a mentor is a good thing if you can find a trusting person to teach you. It can also be a bad thing if you find a bad mentor that does not teach you the right ideals of Gor. There are good and bad mentors. But overall if you can find a good one then it would be to your advantage to find a very good mentor in the life. Nothing wrong with getting formal or informal training.

Just be careful and get to know anyone that is wanting to mentor you first. Make sure that there is not neccassarily any strings attached to the "training". Unless "strings attached" are ok with you. And you definitely want to know the nature of the "strings" if you agree to any beforehand.


_____________________________

personal slave of Master Jeff the Seeker
His property slave slut and pet
His concubine/first girl of the House of the Seeker

noyeh-JtS-fg

(in reply to ygraine)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Mentoring - 2/16/2007 1:32:56 PM   
fairerthanshe


Posts: 3033
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings ygraine,

Greetings Masters, Free and slaves,

this girl has a mentor, who is not Gorean but who introduced her to Gor.  she has also been fortunate to converse with a Master here who has offered her advice and counsel when she has needed it.  she feels fortunate to have these Men in her life and is grateful to them for all the support they give her.

well wishes,

fairer


_____________________________

"The girl shows up tomorrow evening for some time together...and I need someone to fuck with, so things are looking up, I reckon. "

"The girl is a world class somnambulist." ~ Senor Jaime

(in reply to ygraine)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Mentoring - 2/16/2007 1:58:01 PM   
ygraine


Posts: 674
Joined: 10/10/2006
Status: offline 		er, well thank you, but I do not need one. I have had many wonderful mentors over the years, but thanks for the mmmmmm advice.
Ygraine

_____________________________

If you think something is too good to be true, it probably is.

(in reply to noyeh)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Mentoring - 2/16/2007 2:01:13 PM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7330
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings Y,

The first question that comes to mind is, why is a mentor needed? Read the books, discuss things in forums and on email lists, and then enjoy your personal journey. I do not look at Gor as if everything needs to be understood right away. I think it is best to identify something in your own life, to one of the philsophies and such that you learn. Other things are good to discuss with others as long as you are truly agreeing because you do agree, and not that someone you may look up to thinks that way. I think it is more important to understand the philsophies, than to be able to spell the names of locations, flora or fauna correctly. I think it is more important to feel the beliefs, than be able to recite the exact steps of a ritual.

It would all depend on what the person was wanting and needing, as to whether a mentor would help.


Orion


quote:

ORIGINAL: ygraine

I started in a new job this year and I was assigned a mentor to help me over some of the rough spots and help me understand how my workplace functions.  I am taking this a bit further, to this particular way of living: Do you or have you had a mentor that guided you down the right path? Was this person on or off line? Does that matter? Was this person in fact Gorean or Gorean influenced? Was your mentor male or female? How did this person lead and guide you?
Do you think some sort of mentoring, formal or informal, would be a good thing for those wanting to know more about this philosophy? I think this applies to both men and women who live in the influence of the Gorean ethos.
Thank you for your input.
Y

(in reply to ygraine)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Mentoring - 2/16/2007 2:23:06 PM   
ygraine


Posts: 674
Joined: 10/10/2006
Status: offline 		Hello Orion,
I am sorry maybe I am not wording this well.  I was wondering if people had, at one time or another, found a mentor that they trusted and who helped them become the person they are today, Gorean or not. Mentoring is not always guiding or coaching, sometimes it is living by example.  The post was not asking for advice on a mentor.  I just wondered if they would help people or have helped people.  My mentor helps me, and mostly leading by example.  I just was looking for people to share.
Sorry about the confusion
Y

_____________________________

If you think something is too good to be true, it probably is.

(in reply to OrionTheWolf)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Mentoring - 2/16/2007 2:27:31 PM   
Another


Posts: 172
Joined: 10/2/2005
Status: offline 		Afternoon and greetings,

There have been many that have influenced me over the years, men and women and continue to do so.  There was nothing formal, just certain people that I have admired, and sought their advice.  

I have always considered it a sign of strength to admit to not knowing everything.   I get amused by those who always seem to have all the answers, slave or free.
 
I wish you well,

Liz

(in reply to ygraine)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Mentoring - 2/16/2007 3:01:17 PM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		Greetings,

i am not sure if what i have are mentors, because i don't know if they know how much i rely on digging around in their heads for angles and concepts that i can use to understand my own thoughts more, especially on days when nothing makes sense. i rely heavily on discussion boards in general to help me in talking out my position and understandings, to absorbing other angles and concepts to apply in my head to topics and such that are Gorean, i am constantly thinking and rethinking and mulling over things in my head looking for things i may have missed. Discussion boards help me with this because i can state my position as firmly and determinedly as i can, and see how much damage others can do to it with their substantive arguments. i can also help my understanding by reversing my conclusion and trying to make arguments and supporting evidence for the reverse of what i understand, and see what angles i am missing that way. So whether you can say the message boards are my mentors i am not sure, but i learn a whole heck of a lot by seeing how other people think and view things.

However, within this message board alone, i rely on a few people and eagerly watch for their responses to topics, many times i just watch them, listen to them and absorb what they have to say. These are what i deem my unknowing mentors lol. Even when they contradict my own thoughts on a subject,

However, There is one Man i am ever grateful to who has been the recipient of many many many questions out of frustration, confusion and panic lol when i read responses who allows me to ask him freely questions and and with his infinite it seems patience he simply talks and discusses things with me, he doesn't get offended or angry, he doesn't make demands or "expect" anything from me, he simply talks to me, even when i get so frustrated, he has yet to take it personally towards him and simply chuckles sometimes and discusses more with me. His words and his explanations have helped me so much. Not in "telling me what to do, or ordering, or treating me like he knows more than me (which he does lol), but in speaking to me, talking to me, discussing things and letting me work them out on him, and laughs, in the end, i get it, what he is saying and how to incorporate it into my thoughts. Some days he just says think on that for a while.

grins, and i swear one day i am going to make a book of quotes stemming from his words because at times he says things that you just blink and the lightbulb goes off in your head and i want to throw my arms around his neck and kiss him!!! okay i can go on for days, so i will stop now. Needless to say, this Man and his willingness to allow me to crawl around in his head and his patience with me, has been more valuable to me than anything else i have ever encountered in this lifestyle, its like he understands what i need from him, and many times he allows me to have it. And that, is priceless.

His slave i see as someone who is a great friend of mine who also discusses with me and i her various things at times about slavery and grins, men. Sometimes i am a sounding board for her, and she is for me. For me, her friendship many times has gotten me over that one moment of panic when i think i am going crazy.

Are they both my mentors, i would say yes, but neither has taken on that title with me officially, and many times, i don't even think they see themselves as that to me, they are just them, and i am me.

Most my friends help me grow as a person and within this life, and i help them, so i would say most of my friends are my mentors also because its when i stop growing will be when i need them the most, and this they know and understand, and expect the same of me.

I am not sure if this is what you were asking for, but this is what i thought you were asking for.

Well wishes,
angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 2/16/2007 3:27:03 PM >

_____________________________


What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson


(in reply to Another)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Mentoring - 2/16/2007 3:26:35 PM   
Maahsatti


Posts: 2579
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline 		Hi Cath,
I am with Liz on this, I have had and still have quite a few people who influence me and my life and have helped me become the person I am. One man stands out though, and I think you know who he is....*smiles*..that ole Red Neck Tuchuk, Kar..lol...he has helped and guided me on so many levels over the yrs, with understanding as well as tough love, when I needed it.I can not exclude you and Liz either .There are a few more men who post on these boards I have great respect for as well, whom I look up to, but you older friends have been my defining source of inspiration and admiration, making a profound differance in who I was and what I am now.I do not think mentors are a bad thing, but feel we should be careful not to place such a high burden of expectation on them either. That can lead to a self disappointment in doing so and not due to any wrong doing by the people you look up to. I hope that made sense...lol

Take care, love ya,
Babs

_____________________________

Gorean women, whether slave or Free,know, that their simple presence, brings joy to men,and I cannot think but that this pleases them.
Outlaw of Gor, pg 54

(in reply to ygraine)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Mentoring - 2/16/2007 3:46:33 PM   
Ashaia


Posts: 239
Joined: 12/31/2006
Status: offline 		Good evening,

I can remember a woman I met about 14 years ago. She stands out in my mind because she was a stay at home mother who had five children. Two of her children, the youngest two, also happened to be the same as my own, or relatively close. While I was fretting over teething and feedings, ear infections and formula, she was old hat at such things, and made life look like a piece of cake. I had two small children. She had five. Sometimes, I would look at her life, and think, "Oh dear Lord, what am I doing wrong? Why can't I make it work like that?"

I am now the age she was when I met her. I do not have 3 more children that ever came along, thank goodness! What I do have is time under my belt, and experiences that life taught along the way. As Stephan put it well, sometimes the hard knocks teach us the most, and when we learn to swim rather than sink, we might have a notion of how this old world works. I now see that this woman wasn't super woman, or super mom. She was simply a woman with greater experience and patience learned the hard way.

She was a mentor of sorts to me. She was a goal I set in my mind. If I can make my house run as efficiently as hers... if I can make my children behave as well as hers... if I can make my husband as happy as she makes hers... then I will have achieved my goals. She did not ever set herself up as community mentor or model of perfection. She is one of the most humble women I've ever met. Maybe one of the keys to a natural mentor is the fact that they're doing the mentoring unknowingly, simply by example and how they lead their lives.

I am grateful for those who passed before me, and helped me better understand what curves in the road of life I may face one day. I also hope that I am now somewhat of a responsible party emulating behaviors that would be useful to those who come next. I do not participate in a large women's group now as I once did, so I am not involved week to week interacting with women. The lives I touch live here, under my roof. I hope that my world shines to my sons so that when it is their turn, they will have the same resources to draw from as I once did.

Ash

_____________________________

"A mind is a fire to be kindled, not a vessel to be filled."--Plutarch

"Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence." Henrik Tikkanen

Edith Wharton, "If only we'd stop trying to be happy we'd have a pretty good time.

(in reply to ygraine)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Mentoring - 2/16/2007 4:39:18 PM   
amberKuldan


Posts: 66
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings Masters & Mistresses,
Greetings slaves,
 
I grew up as the youngest of 3 girls, so I suppose in some ways not only were my parents and teachers mentors, but also my sisters.
 
Regarding Gor, I have had the good fortune of having over the years been allowed in the company of some truly great free persons who have taught me, often by the method of 'school of hard knocks.'  However, I think that here on these sorts of forums we see a lot of mentoring going on by the community (or "village" if you will).  People ask questions and are given answers by those with more experience.

Too, these forums do provide a myriad of different thoughts and experiences, a multitude of opinions from which to choose.  I think it's a wonderful learning tool, perhaps better than a single mentor could provide.

As for a slave...  really she learns at the feet of the man that owns her or those that she serves.

With well wishes,

amber

 

(in reply to ygraine)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Mentoring - 2/16/2007 5:36:01 PM   
littleonyx


Posts: 657
Joined: 9/10/2006
From: Austin
Status: offline 		Greetings Masters, Mistresses, and fellow slaves...
Greetings, ygraine...

quote:

ORIGINAL: ygraine

I started in a new job this year and I was assigned a mentor to help me over some of the rough spots and help me understand how my workplace functions.  I am taking this a bit further, to this particular way of living: Do you or have you had a mentor that guided you down the right path? Was this person on or off line? Does that matter? Was this person in fact Gorean or Gorean influenced? Was your mentor male or female? How did this person lead and guide you?
Do you think some sort of mentoring, formal or informal, would be a good thing for those wanting to know more about this philosophy? I think this applies to both men and women who live in the influence of the Gorean ethos.
Thank you for your input.
Y


For me, personally, there has been one that has given me quite a bit to think about.  I suppose I would consider him a mentor, as he is giving me things to do at home, websites for references, etc.  I met him here, actually--someone else mentioned his name, and so I contacted him after reading his threads.  I believe he is Gorean inside and out.  And I think that, even though it's very informal training, he is an excellent source for me to ask questions to, or go to for guidance and understanding.  I look up to him, and listen to what he tells me.

little onyx

_____________________________

onyx [ˈoniks] noun

a type of precious stone with layers of different colours

(in reply to ygraine)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Mentoring - 2/16/2007 6:20:18 PM   
Maahsatti


Posts: 2579
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings Ashaia,
I enjoyed reading your experience and relate to it on a maternal level. thank you for posting .

Take care,
Maah

_____________________________

Gorean women, whether slave or Free,know, that their simple presence, brings joy to men,and I cannot think but that this pleases them.
Outlaw of Gor, pg 54

(in reply to Ashaia)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Mentoring - 2/17/2007 7:07:54 AM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7330
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings Y,

I would not call them a Mentor then, I would call them a friend. The answer is yes then, but it was more of a person to discuss things with in life in general and not about Gor. This person holds more closely to the basic philsophies and ethos than many Goreans. He just has never read about Gor.


Orion


quote:

ORIGINAL: ygraine

Hello Orion,
I am sorry maybe I am not wording this well.  I was wondering if people had, at one time or another, found a mentor that they trusted and who helped them become the person they are today, Gorean or not. Mentoring is not always guiding or coaching, sometimes it is living by example.  The post was not asking for advice on a mentor.  I just wondered if they would help people or have helped people.  My mentor helps me, and mostly leading by example.  I just was looking for people to share.
Sorry about the confusion
Y

(in reply to ygraine)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Mentoring - 2/17/2007 9:53:40 AM   
Rapture


Posts: 808
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline 		Every so often this mentoring thing comes up in relation to Gor.
The answer is the same all the time.
The lesser will want their guides that fill them with erroneous crap
The more will know the answers and received the the old fashioned way from experience, and going down the perverbal path without having their hand held and patted on the perverbal head.

Though mentoring is very common in the BDSM realm to show the 'slaves' and 'subs" the true things and how to act and such (which to date has really failed).... I find it amusing again here we are again with this mentoring subject...

I do not recall in one instance not one that within the Gorean Ethos that there are is a mentoring part. Sure, people are shown how to do serves and such but this really isnt the substance of Gor now is it?

A Man and a female, by which the Man puts the female to her knees and uses her for his devices. There.. mentoring all done and over with.

Then again who is going to show a Man to be a Man? You? or Himself?

. . . . . . . . . .

Maybe we should open a school:

To Become a Master 101
   1) What you do in the morning
   2) What you do not do with your property
   3) What do you do when you are online and playing it up.
   4)  (Fill in a craftly new wave course here)

......


Rapture


quote:

ORIGINAL: ygraine

I started in a new job this year and I was assigned a mentor to help me over some of the rough spots and help me understand how my workplace functions.  I am taking this a bit further, to this particular way of living: Do you or have you had a mentor that guided you down the right path? Was this person on or off line? Does that matter? Was this person in fact Gorean or Gorean influenced? Was your mentor male or female? How did this person lead and guide you?
Do you think some sort of mentoring, formal or informal, would be a good thing for those wanting to know more about this philosophy? I think this applies to both men and women who live in the influence of the Gorean ethos.
Thank you for your input.
Y

(in reply to ygraine)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Mentoring - 2/17/2007 10:42:20 AM   
amberKuldan


Posts: 66
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings Master Rapture,
Greetings Masters & Mistresses,
Greetings girls,
 
Master, I have to ask if you didn't find that Tarl was mentored throughout the books by various other men, beginning with his own father than then by Torm and it continued throughout the series?
 
While I believe that nature and instinct teaches us a great deal, I also believe that we learn from one another, regardless of whether or not we are men or women, Master.  I'd consider this a type of mentoring and I'd not consider it something juvenile or demeaning in any way. 
 
Respectfully,

Well wishes,
 
amber
 

(in reply to Rapture)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Mentoring - 2/17/2007 3:44:51 PM   
sumlihana


Posts: 37
Joined: 12/22/2006
From: Ohio
Status: offline 		there are ones she looks up to as a guide of sorts. someone she can run to with her questions learn a answer or feel fear from. she is not owned but with them behind her pushing her forward she learns and cherishes all she gets from them. not sure if you would call it mentoring or what you would call it but what ever it is she has respect for them ~smiles~

_____________________________

The north's untamed savage.....and story teller..

(in reply to amberKuldan)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Mentoring - 2/17/2007 4:21:20 PM   
FrankAr


Posts: 602
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Greetingsa sumlihana,

The person that you are learning from, do they teach you how to reply to posts in a proper manner, whether it is in a Gor forum or any other forum?  To address the poster, using even just the word of ...greetings.....and signing off in a formal way.  I don't want you to be heading down a path of laziness, which I do see you going down in the last few posts.  Whether you have been tired, run down, or wanting to reply in a quick fashion, you should always try to reply the best way that you can.

Looks at the replies from ....kisshou, puella, smilezz, barelynangel.  They take time out to address the person, and finish it off properly.  If you don't understand what I mean, then just send me mail on the other side.

Be well.

Frank Ar.



< Message edited by FrankAr -- 2/17/2007 4:22:38 PM >

(in reply to sumlihana)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Gorean Lifestyles >> Mentoring Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2012
Collarchat.com is a member of the Free Speech Coalition
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

1.063