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sjacket -> RE: On the Merits of Masochism and Experiencing Subspace (2/27/2007 6:56:52 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass
Another thing to add perhaps, maybe giving some insight is to say that when I asked him about his experience with me using my single-tail he said he didn't like it, it just plain hurt, and specifically he felt like fighting back against it, lashing out at it in return, I think he said. This interested me because he remained perfectly still during the whipping but told me this afterwards. It's like it either didn't occur to him to make physical reactions or he thought he wasn't supposed to. I told him that if he felt like fighting back against it I wanted to see that, since that's what actually makes the scene work for me. Any thoughts on this?
Hmmmm..... some of my earliest r/t BDSM experiences were with a Domme who did not want any response out of me to whatever was going on. I was expected to "just take it". At the time I had almost NO interest in pain, and by taking it I was spending all my energy on not reacting. I couldn't get into the moment because my attention was diverted to (basically) pretending it wasn't happening. I wanted to make her happy and show what a good subbie I could be. Obviously it didn't work.
Has he expressed that there is any type of impact play that is better for him? If a single-tail is too intense, what is the experience of a flogger? Or crop? Maybe more rhythmic play? Find something pleasurable and repeat it until it gets to that almost too intense point. Just throwing out thoughts... Do y'all do any edge play? Maybe if high impact things aren't working, what about cutting or needles?
And sadly, it may be more that the letting go just goes against the male nature- take it like a man. But that can be talked thru.
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