quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

Some days yes, some days no. I have a temper from hell, i get angry quickly but just as quickly its usually gone. He knew that about me and he also knew how to handle me. Some days he would fight with me, some days he would ignore me, some days he would beat my ass many days he would laugh at me. He wasn't afraid or worried or what not about who i was. My personality, temper, laughter and passion was all who i was, he enjoyed me. Did i change, yes and no, i mean i was with him for 8 years, no relationship remains the same. I didn't see my life as a slave, i simply lived my life of which was that i was his slave. grins, yeah at the end of the good times when i saw that gleam of you are in deep shit in his eye because of something i did -- damn straight if he was reaching for me i ran lol. Yes i yelled at the end, i have a temper that explodes now and again. I don't know what you mean by settle in. You mean did i become some editome of what people think slaves should be -- i doubt it. I didn't have online i didn't have people stating what a slave should be. I had him. What he allowed me and such was much different than many who describe slave especially GOREAN slavery. I understood the mindset of a slave but it wasn't based upon doing things it was based on my place in his life.

I wasn't afraid of his passion and such, and he wasn't worried about mine. He enjoyed me as a whole. I think if i would have started thinking -- okay what would a slave do in this moment, he would have become disappointed in me.

So yeah, of course i changed who doesn't in 8 years, i was trained my mindsets of slave were adjusted and created and more so understood, but the overall that which is me, i don't think he wanted different.

The thing is he determined i would be his slave -- he saw the potential in me to exist in his life in this way, he mastered me and i was his. I was with him for 8 years, yes i changed and yes he changed, but i didn't need to settle so to speak, i simply lived -- i did what i always tell women, i exhaled and simply was in his life. I wasn't afraid to react with him, and he made the determination when i did of what will be. i wasn't what many would see as a good slave, but i was his and i never felt as if i should be something other than what he allowed me to be. ANd yes, he allowed me to be passionate in all things including my anger and my temper as well as my lust and life.

I am always flabbergasted why a passionate reaction and emotion such as anger or such is always so OMG for slaves. My relationship with him wasn't angry, i simply reacted. I wasn't afraid to show him all of me, and he wasn't upset to accept all of me. The good, the bad, and the ugly. To me, that is the most secure relationship of slavery.

Hell if i had to worry about whether he was pleased all the time or felt his happiness was my responsibility, instead of allowing him to be the Master and me simply live under his mastery -- it would have drove me nuts. I depended on him to know what he wanted, enjoyed, and would accept. He maintained what he wanted, he enjoyed what he did so and would make any alterations if he didn't accept something. I simply just was and existed in his life as he determined -- the good, bad and ugly.

angel

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedbyPF

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

Some days yes, some days no. I have a temper from hell, i get angry quickly but just as quickly its usually gone. He knew that about me and he also knew how to handle me. Some days he would fight with me, some days he would ignore me, some days he would beat my ass many days he would laugh at me. He wasn't afraid or worried or what not about who i was. My personality, temper, laughter and passion was all who i was, he enjoyed me. Did i change, yes and no, i mean i was with him for 8 years, no relationship remains the same. I didn't see my life as a slave, i simply lived my life of which was that i was his slave. grins, yeah at the end of the good times when i saw that gleam of you are in deep shit in his eye because of something i did -- damn straight if he was reaching for me i ran lol. Yes i yelled at the end, i have a temper that explodes now and again. I don't know what you mean by settle in. You mean did i become some editome of what people think slaves should be -- i doubt it. I didn't have online i didn't have people stating what a slave should be. I had him. What he allowed me and such was much different than many who describe slave especially GOREAN slavery. I understood the mindset of a slave but it wasn't based upon doing things it was based on my place in his life.

I wasn't afraid of his passion and such, and he wasn't worried about mine. He enjoyed me as a whole. I think if i would have started thinking -- okay what would a slave do in this moment, he would have become disappointed in me.

So yeah, of course i changed who doesn't in 8 years, i was trained my mindsets of slave were adjusted and created and more so understood, but the overall that which is me, i don't think he wanted different.

The thing is he determined i would be his slave -- he saw the potential in me to exist in his life in this way, he mastered me and i was his. I was with him for 8 years, yes i changed and yes he changed, but i didn't need to settle so to speak, i simply lived -- i did what i always tell women, i exhaled and simply was in his life. I wasn't afraid to react with him, and he made the determination when i did of what will be. i wasn't what many would see as a good slave, but i was his and i never felt as if i should be something other than what he allowed me to be. ANd yes, he allowed me to be passionate in all things including my anger and my temper as well as my lust and life.

I am always flabbergasted why a passionate reaction and emotion such as anger or such is always so OMG for slaves. My relationship with him wasn't angry, i simply reacted. I wasn't afraid to show him all of me, and he wasn't upset to accept all of me. The good, the bad, and the ugly. To me, that is the most secure relationship of slavery.

Hell if i had to worry about whether he was pleased all the time or felt his happiness was my responsibility, instead of allowing him to be the Master and me simply live under his mastery -- it would have drove me nuts. I depended on him to know what he wanted, enjoyed, and would accept. He maintained what he wanted, he enjoyed what he did so and would make any alterations if he didn't accept something. I simply just was and existed in his life as he determined -- the good, bad and ugly.

angel

Thank you for replying and explaining it well... not just glossing over. Nah, I didn't mean being an epitome of what a slave is supposed to be. I don't really buy into that. I mean, to me, a Master determines what his slave is supposed to be. A slave deciding ahead of time what their picture of slavery is, I think, one of the bigest problems people have. I realize though there is lots of... this is what a perfect slave looks like/acts like etc. Or when I'm a slave it's going to be.... Or I want my Master to do... I digress. I just meant settled in as in got comfortable in your place as his slave. Being his slave. Acting or reacting to him in a way that was acceptable to him as his slave. Which you answerred as a definite yes.

I think that every Master has preferences on what they find acceptable, invigorating, enjoyable, and pleasurable in their slave. He Masters her, molds her, into behaving in that way. Your Master allowed for yelling, which worked for you, and it suited Him to allow that. I would imagine if that hadn't suited Him, he would have adjusted your behavior into something that did! My Master allows for anger, but not yelling.... and so has molded me into what He desires in His slave. As it should be. They set what is acceptable in their house, we meld into that...
~s

quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou

greetings girls,

they say there is a fine line between love and hate. It is exactly like ishy said though , I know I am loved but that love in no way matters in getting what I want and it is used against me to get the desired behaviour out of me.

The thing is you will love him in an adoring kind of way but be helpless to your need for him. He becomes like your oxygen.

You love him, you hate him but whatever you do , you want him to keep owning you. Staying owned is the over ruling passion in your life.

I might not get candy or flowers but I probably touch my collar at least a hundred times a day.

The thing is you are not just 'a' slave but 'his' slave and that makes all the difference in the world.

well wishes
kisshou

quote:

ORIGINAL: antinomy
Over on this side, it sounds a little different. The slave is not the one doing the choosing, the Master is. He finds a woman He can Master, and if He wants her, He sets about Mastering her. I suppose that she could fight it, but, if He's capable of actually Mastering her- it's not going to matter much in the long run. As you said above, He molds her into becoming what He wants her to be.

Does this cause problems down the road? I mean, what if His moral compass and hers are miles apart?

quote:

Edited to add: I suppose part of what I'm stumbling on is the part where you say a slave envisioning what her slavery should look like beforehand is problematic. Why? We are all here to have a need met, slaves included. So, wanting a certain relationship, a certain dynamic, even in slavery seems reasonable to me. Oh, it might be easier if there were no expectations, but is that not true of most of life? I guess my basic question is this: is a slave entitled to happiness? Is she entitled to have her needs met? Or is the only need she should concern herself with Mastery? If that, alone, is not enough to make her happy, does it mean she's not slave material?

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

i hope it is okay to ask a question. It sounds like from ishy's decription it sounds like a lot of underlying manipulation is being used to keep a girl desperate to please.

Also in a previous post in this thread, ishy made a statement about being conditioned to obey versus choicing to obey, and that when one is asked to obey in opposition to one's own moral code, then that girl has been successfully conditioned to obey. Is that also the norm?

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

If i am reading that correctly, how does the relationship ever become a place of safety for the slave for would they not be constantly living under the sword of Damocles, the threat of release?