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RE: how long before meeting? - 4/18/2007 3:08:04 PM   
MellowSir


Posts: 260
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline 		Well, before the advent of the web, meetings happened much quicker, by chance, thru a friend, etc. The upside of the internet is that, if both are being honest(that's a big if), then you know the person better than a blind date. The downside is that the web enables fakery and cyber-tag. Nothing wrong with taking a chance with as little as a cup of coffee in a safe, public environment. You can read so much more from a person IN person. And the old saying"you know in the first ten minutes whether or not you'd sleep with the person" is quite true. Read the body language, whether are not you are looked in the eye, courtesy,etc. etc..Good luck.

(in reply to MrRodgers)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: how long before meeting? - 4/18/2007 4:51:19 PM   
Firebirdseeking


Posts: 477
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline 		I would not wait a year to meet ANYONE.  If you dont know within a reasonable length of time that you want to meet someone, then he is probably not a good possibility for me, if  I am trusting my gut.  Does it occur to us that someone who wants to wait that long may have a reason, like another woman, or fear of intimacy??

(in reply to slaveish)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: how long before meeting? - 4/18/2007 5:14:40 PM   
AmazonLady


Posts: 29
Joined: 3/25/2007
Status: offline 		I have recently met someone from CollarMe and my usual waiting period for face to face meetings is about two weeks. Consistantly talking Online and on the phone. If I feel ANY 'creeps' or doubts I bring them up to the other person and then I both get to see how they and I handle the situation and also if it's even a problem.

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: how long before meeting? - 4/18/2007 6:08:53 PM   
sillygirl09


Posts: 446
Joined: 1/31/2007
From: New Jersey
Status: offline 		I've met people with in days and I've met people after weeks... there was one case where it was months but that was due to distance.  I say the sooner the better.

(in reply to AmazonLady)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: how long before meeting? - 4/18/2007 8:07:35 PM   
LadyIce


Posts: 406
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yenlui

I am unable to see the need to meet so soon, for me it's important that we have more in common than the interest in D/s. I need to know that we're able to hold a conversation for several hours, that we can make each other laugh, that there's something there - I genereally don't bother to meet people "just to meet someone", I prefer to know quite a bit about someone before I include them in my "real life". Maybe it's just because I'm shy?


Well stated yenlui, I was beginning to think we were a rare breed.
If I met every man that was interested in me, I would be meeting strange men
almost every night of the week.
I have been online over 10 years, and I have found the majority of the men that
approached me to be liars or undesirables, for a variety of reasons.
If a person can't take some time to get to know me as a person, I don't ever want
to meet them.
I would never meet anyone off the internet before at least 2 months, if they can't
wait that long, I always tell them good luck.

(in reply to yenlui)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: how long before meeting? - 4/18/2007 8:14:13 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		When both parties think its time...if one wants to meet before the other..then you should come to a meeting of the minds...or part....of course then you hear about ALL the time wasted..~eye roll~...time wasted? are you kidding me?..you were getting to know someone,you were exchanging thoughts, ideas, whatever...surely such cannot be considered a waste?It seems to me we have gotten into this, got to have it now mentality..NOW..NOW..NOW..my time is wayyy to valuable to waste..I say BAH HUMBUG!...Tempting...~ends rant~..

(in reply to sillygirl09)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: how long before meeting? - 4/18/2007 8:37:22 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I think it depends on a lot of different factors.  Distance is a big factor.  Part of the reason that I am rather particular about looking for someone within a reasonable drive.  I'm in it for meeting.  Kind of the point for Me.  Usually, depending on schedules, a couple of days to a couple of weeks.

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: how long before meeting? - 4/18/2007 11:02:26 PM   
OedipusRexIt


Posts: 634
Joined: 11/15/2005
Status: offline 		...put me down as a "sooner rather than later"



_____________________________

"My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die..."

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: how long before meeting? - 4/19/2007 6:02:19 AM   
yenlui


Posts: 51
Joined: 3/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyIce

quote:

ORIGINAL: yenlui

I am unable to see the need to meet so soon, for me it's important that we have more in common than the interest in D/s. I need to know that we're able to hold a conversation for several hours, that we can make each other laugh, that there's something there - I genereally don't bother to meet people "just to meet someone", I prefer to know quite a bit about someone before I include them in my "real life". Maybe it's just because I'm shy?


Well stated yenlui, I was beginning to think we were a rare breed.
If I met every man that was interested in me, I would be meeting strange men
almost every night of the week.
I have been online over 10 years, and I have found the majority of the men that
approached me to be liars or undesirables, for a variety of reasons.
If a person can't take some time to get to know me as a person, I don't ever want
to meet them.
I would never meet anyone off the internet before at least 2 months, if they can't
wait that long, I always tell them good luck.

I so agree. Nothing makes me more bored or offended by constant naging about meeting me. I am willing to take the risk it is to get to know someone online/on phone and be disappointed when they turn out to be something else, rather than to meet lots of strangers who definitly aren't what I hoped they were. I have been online for "many" years now, and I have talked to many interesting people. Some I have - after some time - met irl, and the one thing they all have in common is that they've been able to keep my interest for several months. But most of the people I talk to online, aren't able to do that, we get to a point were there's nothing more to say. I don't want people like that in my "real life".

(in reply to LadyIce)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: how long before meeting? - 4/21/2007 7:51:50 PM   
Kitte9


Posts: 411
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		A lot of good advice here, thanks to everyone for sharing.

_____________________________

I am stronger than yesterday

(in reply to igor2003)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: how long before meeting? - 4/21/2007 7:55:06 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		I have met someone that very same day if they interested me enough. Sometimes, weeks, sometimes we never met due to one schedualing snafoo then another.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

This is a question for both Doms and subs because we may have different perspective; how long do you feel it is appropriate to talk with someone before the two of you meet face to face?



_____________________________

Most of the time if it looks like BS, smells like BS, you probably should not t taste it to see if, in fact, it is BS.


(in reply to Firebirdseeking)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: how long before meeting? - 4/21/2007 8:35:03 PM   
myobedience


Posts: 472
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

This is a question for both Doms and subs because we may have different perspective; how long do you feel it is appropriate to talk with someone before the two of you meet face to face?



We emailed long emails to each other for a month ..........
never spoke on the phone........
met at my house 1 1/2 months ago and have seen each other once a week since and speak at least 2 times a day on the phone, for brief periods.
The long emails and the references were enough to know I had the genuine article ! 

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you is the only Man truly worthy of being called Master.

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: how long before meeting? - 4/22/2007 12:22:21 AM   
GeekyGirl


Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline 		Minimum 2 weeks. No longer than 4 weeks. If I'm not feeling like I want to meet him after 4wks, it's probably a lost cause. I decide fairly quickly if I like someone or not.

_____________________________

"It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me. So be gentle if you please, 'cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth and it makes me want to make you near me always."

(in reply to myobedience)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: how long before meeting? - 4/22/2007 12:31:47 AM   
leakylee


Posts: 747
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline 		I have been known to go to phone right from email skipping im. If I am not on the phone within a couple of hours of im there wont be a meeting, that generally means not enough to talk about. After that, I try to be within two weeks now. It saves time and effort. Gets the weeding process over and done with. Normally within that time one or the other will disqualify themselves. So if you do meet chances are it will most likely be a fairly good thing. Friends at the minium.

love and light
lee

_____________________________

I am so not right, that I left..

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: how long before meeting? - 4/22/2007 12:37:56 AM   
Denny17


Posts: 86
Joined: 11/5/2006
Status: offline 		meet asap to settle the question of if they are who they say.  I was talking to a domme and it turns out she was a he doing false advertsing as a domme. 

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)
Profile   Post #: 55
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