Collarchat.com

Create a
Free Account		 As the Collar Turns:
 Collarchat.com - BDSM Forum

Home  Login  Search 
Espanol  Deutsch  Francais  Italiano  Portugues 

On asking and accepting advice from other girls


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Gorean Lifestyles >> On asking and accepting advice from other girls Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
On asking and accepting advice from other girls - 5/6/2007 7:41:53 AM   
aeaa


Posts: 125
Joined: 4/8/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings Masters & Mistresses,
Greetings girls,
 
One thing that aea has noticed on collarme in the Gorean Lifestyles forum that she's not really encountered elsewhere are the number of  "girl" threads.
 
While aea can appreciate the importance of a female being able to speak to another female regarding certain particulars, in aea's experience, she has found really that it doesn't usually end up amounting to a hill of beans. 
 
she doesn't mean what is shared between sisters on a chain or good friends where one lends a shoulder to another and offers her an encouraging hug now and then. It happens.  What aea does mean, however, is all the advice that is dispensed from one girl to another.
 
In the end, men decide.  It doesn't matter if you've found a new way to cook rice, or wax your legs, or wear your hair, etc.  What is going to matter is how a man demands it be done and how pleasing he finds it.  
 
aea doesn't believe herself to be anti-social, but she has not participated in the girl threads (that she recalls) for that very reason. she doesn't want to lose focus on whose words she needs to be focused upon.
 
she is perhaps stretching her mind a bit today to find out if her thinking and reasoning are skewered for some reason and whether or not she has missed out on something worthwhile.
 
aea wishes you well.
 
I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness.....I dont mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh God, as a woman i want to be Dominated. Anais Nin
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: On asking and accepting advice from other girls - 5/6/2007 8:58:09 AM   
pashafewj


Posts: 54
Joined: 4/8/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings aeaa,
 
pasha agrees with what you have said here even from a non-gorean viewpoint. However, it is the desire of her Merlyn that she learn the mindset of a slave from those in his opinion exemplify and embody the essence of "slavery". The advice and pearls of wisdom she has recieved from many of the beautiful women who post here have taken her farther on her journey than she could have gone alone and have given her a foundation from which her Merlyn can build~

_____________________________

far-sæla,
pasha

“How does one become a butterfly?" she asked. "You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.”


(in reply to aeaa)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: On asking and accepting advice from other girls - 5/6/2007 9:38:38 AM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline 		Good morning aeaa,

The only time i would see any of these things as being wrong is if a Master did not allow it of his slave and she did it anyway.

It has nothing to do with losing focus on that Master if he allows a girl to interract socially with other girls and seek out information/recipes/etc.  down to even being a bit silly at times.

I do agree, Master's word is final.  None of the above affects that...as it should be.

Hope you are enjoying your day,

~smilezz~

(edited because i worded something wrong) 

< Message edited by smilezz -- 5/6/2007 10:07:26 AM >

_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

�*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,-:* �

(in reply to aeaa)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: On asking and accepting advice from other girls - 5/6/2007 10:09:37 AM   
cinnfulhussy


Posts: 135
Joined: 1/30/2005
Status: offline 		I think that a girl should utilize all of the allowed resources to better her service to her Master.  That can include talking to other girls who have been through a particular situation, learning from them how to wax legs <not all masters know how or have any desire to be involved in the minutia>, learning how to give a good, close shave etc.  It never hurts to get the basics from someone in an attempt to be pleasing.  Then, the master can tailor the service to his desires should he not be entirely pleased.  The master obviously has the final say, but why put the burden of research on him?  Should he have to teach a girl to cook?  Or, should he be able to say... "Girl, learn to cook italian for me.  I like lasagne, focaccia, meatballs and risotto." , and  have the girl then go learn.  She can present her learnings, and he can then tell her, "I like more garlic in the sauce, and a drier/wetter lasagne.  I liked the focaccia but in the future, please use ground beef for the meatballs, as I do not care for italian sausage. Also, I find that I do not care for asparagus in the risotto, the texture was good, please use peas next time."  Naturally it is up to the master how involved he wants to be, and I do not presume to speak for the free,  but from my experience, very few men want to have to micromanage.  In my experience, men want their lives to be eased by a slave's presence, not complicated.  Granted, that could be a whole 'nother topic.


_____________________________

Contrary to popular belief, slavery is not the path of least resistance.

(in reply to smilezz)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: On asking and accepting advice from other girls - 5/6/2007 11:13:35 AM   
BeingChewsie


Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline 		using quick reply:

Hello,

I think it depends, we tend to downplay the social pressure slaves impose upon each other. I think it can be another tool owners use to keep a girl enslaved and in line. Peer pressure from within the group can be very influential in either a good or bad way. If his treatement of her is such that it might cause other girls to say to her on the QT, you might be being abused then he is of course best to keep her isolated until he is sure their words will not impact her beliefs at all.



_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to cinnfulhussy)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: On asking and accepting advice from other girls - 5/6/2007 11:56:39 AM   
aeaa


Posts: 125
Joined: 4/8/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings Masters & Mistresses,
Greetings pasha, cinnful, smilez, and chewsie,
Greetings slaves,
 
aea appreciates very much all of the responses and sees that the girls are actually getting something positive out of their interactions and shared advise with one another with permission of their Owners, sometimes even at the direction of their Owners.
 
aea thinks the recipe analogy was a good one.  While aea wouldn't ask a man to help her find a recipe for her own dinner or to micromanage her tasks, she would have felt that an assignment given to her was for her to research. she'd have felt like asking another girl was "cheating."  Instead she would have felt a responsibility to seek out a recipe book, cooking show, etc.   she apologizes and realizes this has been a skewered thought.  Asking another girl would likely be just as acceptable and not viewed as "cheating."  As obvious as it is, and perhaps a lesson forgotten by aea somewhere along the line, aea has been blind to it lately.
 
Chewsie brought up a great point however regarding peer pressure.  aea does wonder at how much influence slaves have over one another and perhaps this is more the direction aea was thinking in. It's possible that one slave might make another question her own ability or security, etc. 
 
aea has to leave that thought hanging at the moment until she has further time to reflect upon it.
 
Thank you again for your responses.
 
aea wishes you well.

(in reply to BeingChewsie)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: On asking and accepting advice from other girls - 5/6/2007 12:02:40 PM   
cariad


Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline 		Greetings aeaa:

~~smiles~~

the One i am speaking with knows about the girls thread and has encouraged me to speak to them and if something ruffles my feathers the wrong way to take it to Him and speak with Him about it and why it ruffled my feathers so to speak.

He then advises me how to respond to it and sometimes He says ignore the thread, walk away, go do something around the apartment and then think about why it bothered you and respond to it after you have thought about it for a bit.

He is aware that we sometimes get silly in the thread and encourages me to have fun while learning something new or relearning something i already knew but was rusty on.

i can understand your being hesitant in joining the thread, but in all honesty the girls there are great and have some very helpful advice to share with those of us either just getting back into Gor or those of us who are completely new to it.

there are those whose words are sharp, may seem harsh, but they are to the point and well thought out. while i may not agree with some of the things they say, i walk away with having learned something new about the girl posting.

i have recently been given some wonderful advice by the girls there and am glad that i can ask my questions somewhere and get another girl's opinion on what i am feeling or thinking.

my suggestion would be to test the waters by dipping your foot into the water so to speak, by saying hi and asking at least one question in the girls thread.

Blessed Be
cariad

_____________________________

The Path To Being A Good slave Takes Hard Work, A Willingness To Learn, Ability To Take Criticism and the Ability To Take Punishments Well. i Am Still Learning So Please Be Patient With me, As i Walk the Path to Being A good slave. SLRN: 742 958 000

(in reply to BeingChewsie)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: On asking and accepting advice from other girls - 5/6/2007 2:47:32 PM   
krys


Posts: 611
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline 		aeaa,

In the few years I have spent as my owner's property, I have yet to be distracted in my service by the chatter of other females.  If it makes them feel better, and is not disruprtive to the men as they are unlikely to bother to read it in the first place, who are we to stand in judgment on their actions?  To do so, you have to think of yourself as better than the slave you are judging. 

Well wishes,




_____________________________

Krys

(in reply to aeaa)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: On asking and accepting advice from other girls - 5/7/2007 1:57:39 AM   
noyeh


Posts: 501
Joined: 4/4/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings Masters, Greetings Mistresses Greetings fellow slaves,

Personally I see nothing wrong with fellow slaves giving advice as long as it is something that might help the slave better herself or possibly something that could help her in the long run. I agree though that if the slave is owned she should have permission from her Owner to give advice. And if the slave seeking the advice is owned she should have permission also. I have had years of experience being a slave I have learned each house has their own technic's I respect them and if they ask for any advice if I have any to give as long as my Master is ok with it I give it. What's so wrong with giving valuable advice as long as it is helpful?

Now if it is causing nothing but trouble I can understand not taking the advice. And the girl giving it should stop in her tracks if it is not helping and suggest she find it somwhere from a person that might have the best advice to give. We don't know everything but whats to be learned if you never ask? Especially if you have permission to ask others? This is just my opinion. Others will disagree. Thats them. But I see nothing wrong with it.  I think what should be said. Is becareful who you get your advice from. Some people are just not as responsible as others. And also I have learned with experience comes wisdom. How slaves use their experience is totally upon themselves at their Owners discression and whim. 

_____________________________

personal slave of Master Jeff the Seeker
His property slave slut and pet
His concubine/first girl of the House of the Seeker

noyeh-JtS-fg

(in reply to krys)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: On asking and accepting advice from other girls - 5/7/2007 5:19:47 AM   
ElizabethAnne


Posts: 1711
Status: offline 		Hello girls,

Be careful who you give advice to, I've seen all too many times it backfiring.  For one reason or another.  

Mistress Liz

(in reply to noyeh)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: On asking and accepting advice from other girls - 5/7/2007 9:44:34 AM   
fairerthanshe


Posts: 3033
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings all,

fairer hopes that any advice she may give be such that it helps deepen another girls sense of her enslavement.  she finds that, all too often, advice is not so much that, but rather a judgement on how a girl's Master is "wrong" in how he treats her.  This is much more prevalent on the 'other side' of the bridge than it is on the Gorean forum. 

It is her hope that none have been offended by the questions she has asked in the past nor the advice she has given.  she hopes that everything she writes be taken as being her opinion based on her experience and not what she believes to be some great code of how a slave should act in XYZ situation.

well wishes,

fairer than she


_____________________________

"The girl shows up tomorrow evening for some time together...and I need someone to fuck with, so things are looking up, I reckon. "

"The girl is a world class somnambulist." ~ Senor Jaime

(in reply to ElizabethAnne)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: On asking and accepting advice from other girls - 5/7/2007 9:51:45 AM   
cariad


Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline 		Greetings fairer:

~~smiles~~

the advice you have given to me has been very helpful in dealing with the things i have asked questions about and for that i thank you.

Blessed Be
cariad

_____________________________

The Path To Being A Good slave Takes Hard Work, A Willingness To Learn, Ability To Take Criticism and the Ability To Take Punishments Well. i Am Still Learning So Please Be Patient With me, As i Walk the Path to Being A good slave. SLRN: 742 958 000

(in reply to fairerthanshe)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: On asking and accepting advice from other girls - 5/7/2007 10:05:12 AM   
fairerthanshe


Posts: 3033
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings cariad,

fairer is most grateful for your kind words and wants to let you know that she sees you as a shining example of one who has reawakened in her slavery and seeks to know all she can about the journey.

well wishes,

fairer than she


_____________________________

"The girl shows up tomorrow evening for some time together...and I need someone to fuck with, so things are looking up, I reckon. "

"The girl is a world class somnambulist." ~ Senor Jaime

(in reply to cariad)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: On asking and accepting advice from other girls - 5/7/2007 10:56:42 AM   
HouseGraywolfTX


Posts: 51
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline 		(anat) And who knows better how to be pleasing to Men than girls who have been doing it successfully for some time. I would think the idea that they would be a valuable source for ideas, information, and advice would be blatently obvious. That does not mean every girl has the answer for every man but ALL knowledge must be processed and adapted in every situation, but duh.....you learn any subject from those who are experts at it. Where did you earn your degrees from? Who were your educators? People with training and experience in your field of choice.  Who better then to learn the ins and outs of being kajira but more experienced, successful kajira?

anat, First Girl of the House of Graywolf_TX

(in reply to fairerthanshe)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: On asking and accepting advice from other girls - 5/7/2007 1:22:36 PM   
cariad


Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fairerthanshe

Greetings cariad,

fairer is most grateful for your kind words and wants to let you know that she sees you as a shining example of one who has reawakened in her slavery and seeks to know all she can about the journey.

well wishes,

fairer than she


Greetings fairer:

you're most welcome..

It has been a long hard journey but i feel that it was worth every step i took and am taking to learning all i can to be the best i can for Him. The advice i have received from many of the girls, yourself included has been most helpful in my journey to becoming a better slave.

Blessed Be
cariad

_____________________________

The Path To Being A Good slave Takes Hard Work, A Willingness To Learn, Ability To Take Criticism and the Ability To Take Punishments Well. i Am Still Learning So Please Be Patient With me, As i Walk the Path to Being A good slave. SLRN: 742 958 000

(in reply to fairerthanshe)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: On asking and accepting advice from other girls - 5/7/2007 4:46:51 PM   
Obsidiansnamaste


Posts: 266
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings aeaa and all who read this,

i believe there is definitely a time and place for being alone in one's slavery...however there is much that can be gleaned from being around those of like mind as well. Listening to other slaves struggles can help when one is having thier own struggles. Sometimes just having the space to be silly (for a time) can be nourishing to the soul of the slave as well. Unfortunately we do not live in a society which embraces what we do as a matter of course, being around others traveling the same path can make it a bit less lonely, a bit less daunting. i tend to be rather intense...i think being able to be silly every once in a while balances that somewhat. Also from other slaves sometimes i get ideas, food for thought...or things to discuss with Master to find out **His** preference on a topic, idea, principle.  Sometimes listening to other views on a topic can aid...if only to let you know what your Owner WONT want...lol.
Just my two shekels...

_____________________________

Always in His service,

~Master Obsidians namaste
http://houseobsidian.wordpress.com
http://his-namaste.livejournal.com

(in reply to aeaa)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: On asking and accepting advice from other girls - 5/7/2007 4:56:19 PM   
NakedGirlScout


Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		I ask advice mostly when I've gotten my head somehow stuck up my own ass and can't see why I'm wrong for being right. The other opinions help me to unstick my head from that uncomfortable and ungraceful position. Sometimes the way Master explains his reasoning to me isn't clear to me, and it's not until I've heard it said in several different ways that it begins to click. Advice is taken to give me a larger framwork from which to think about something, not to blindly follow it without regard to what my owner wants. He's always right in the end, anyhow.

(in reply to Obsidiansnamaste)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: On asking and accepting advice from other girls - 5/7/2007 8:44:38 PM   
sabba


Posts: 396
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aeaa
Chewsie brought up a great point however regarding peer pressure.  aea does wonder at how much influence slaves have over one another and perhaps this is more the direction aea was thinking in. It's possible that one slave might make another question her own ability or security, etc. 


greetings aea;
slaves really shouldn't have influence over anyone, there is nothing wrong with the exchange of ideas, knowledge, information, etc. There are things that sabba has seen in a new perspective because another girl described it or was able to explain it differently, which helps sabba in her service to Master. When a slave lets any outside force, other than their Master influence them, they are not serving their Master, they are serving themselves. By influence, sabba doesn't mean the insignificant small details, she means influence one's behavior to the point of questioning their own slavery, and their own service to their Master.

Then again, if one is influenced that easily, by a posting on a message board....how secure can they be to begin with?

well wishes,
sabba{CB}


(in reply to aeaa)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: On asking and accepting advice from other girls - 5/7/2007 8:56:20 PM   
kimberlyrenee


Posts: 38
Joined: 4/19/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings Masters,
Greetings Mistresses,
Greetings slaves,

Hello aeaa,

This one doesn't think that turning to a fellow slave for any required information is "cheating". If this girl needs a recipe for Italian food, she'll likely ask a fellow slave she knows to be Italian and a wonderful cook. One finds information where one considers the best sources to be. If this girl ever got brave enough to attempt it, she'd turn to Mistress Liz for that marvelous cheesecake recipe. As an aside to the entire recipe topic, why would you not turn to a man for help with food? Many of the best chefs through history have been men. Just don't try to put him in a frilly apron! ~smiles~

Hoping the upcoming week is a great one for all.

kimberly

(in reply to aeaa)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: On asking and accepting advice from other girls - 5/7/2007 11:05:33 PM   
fairerthanshe


Posts: 3033
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sabba

greetings aea;

Then again, if one is influenced that easily, by a posting on a message board....how secure can they be to begin with?

well wishes,
sabba{CB}



Greetings sabba,

well said, sweet sister slave, well said indeed!  If fairer allowed the comments of some to label her, she may have ended this journey long ago.  It is only up to her, while she is uncollared, to state who and what she is.  No one can disuade her from the knowledge deep in her soul that she is slave - she knows - she wore the collar for more than 3 years.  She is absolutely secure in this position.  It doesn't matter which of the many Masters who currently seek her neck as a resting place for their steel eventually collar her - they wouldn't waste their time if they thought she was anything less than kajira.

So, having said that, she does not need the advice of anyone, she seeks the advice to further her on this journey and eventually lead her to her rightful owner.

well wishes,

fairer than she


_____________________________

"The girl shows up tomorrow evening for some time together...and I need someone to fuck with, so things are looking up, I reckon. "

"The girl is a world class somnambulist." ~ Senor Jaime

(in reply to sabba)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Gorean Lifestyles >> On asking and accepting advice from other girls Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2012
Collarchat.com is a member of the Free Speech Coalition
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109