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Individual perspective and feedback please - 7/15/2008 6:17:21 PM

daisyrocket

Posts: 17
Joined: 4/16/2004
Status: offline

I am writing a research paper for a psych class and would like it very much if all of you out there willing to participate would answer some questions and give some feedback on this lifestyle as you live it. I apologize if I might offend anyone, but I am really only looking for responses from submissive women.

I don’t want to get into a long discussion on my background but I will give you a bit so you at least have an idea of who I am and where I am at. I was once an active participant in BDSM. I am no longer. My reasons for this have to do with making the wrong choices for myself. I don’t think BDSM participation is a bad thing; if you choose to do so, more power to you.

I would like your total honesty here please, so if you find you don’t want to answer these questions publicly because they are very personal, please email me privately.

Do you feel you are mentally and emotionally healthy? Explain briefly.

Do you feel “connected” to yourself? Ex: When you feel, in your gut, that a situation is right or wrong, do you listen to your intuition or go against it?

Are you in tune to each of the emotions you experience? Do you experience the whole range of emotions or do you usually just feel fear or anger?

Do you have siblings? Please give gender and birth order.

Did you experience any kind of childhood trauma? Physical abuse, sexual, mental, or emotional.

If you have siblings, were they abused in the same way, differently, or were they not abused at all?

Were you, or do you feel you were, abandoned by one or both parents?

Is there a history of alcohol and/or drug abuse in your family? Please indicate yourself or other family member.

Are your parents still married? If not, how old were you when they divorced?

Do you currently have, or have you ever had, self-esteem issues?

How do you handle differentiating your private sex life and your public life?

How many BDSM relationships have you been in?

Have you ever been interested in a vanilla relationship?

Has BDSM always, or nearly always, been a focus for you to become sexually aroused?

What BDSM activity is it that you prefer?

Are you currently, or have you ever, seen a therapist for any reason?

Are you currently, or have you ever, taken any medications for depression, anxiety, etc.

Do you feel this has become something you MUST do, or is it something you can walk away from easily?

Post #: 1

RE: Individual perspective and feedback please - 7/15/2008 6:34:50 PM

dragon2760

Posts: 114
Joined: 5/8/2008
Status: offline

I am not a submissive female but it is amazing that the questions that are being asked here were questions that were even asked of me when I was going through counseling after my marriage broke up and I mentioned in one session that I considered myself a submissive. It's was amazing how things suddenly went from trying to help me in dealing with the emotions of the break up to trying to figure out why I would consider myself to be a submissive. I think this goes back to the old stereotypical idea that only those that have had some type of abuse in their past would consider themselves as submissives in this lifestyle, or be strippers, or be prostitutes, or whatever. It's kind of funny you know.

< Message edited by dragon2760 -- 7/15/2008 6:45:30 PM >

_____________________________

"When two people are alone together, and one of them is naked and tied up, and the other is standing over them holding whips and other torture implements, this is not the time to have a serious mismatch of expectations." Jay Wiseman

(in reply to daisyrocket)

Post #: 2

RE: Individual perspective and feedback please - 7/15/2008 7:06:04 PM

AmbrosialWench

Posts: 50
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline

I have taken statistic classes and can tell you your data will never be considered valid in any research since you questionair is being submitted for everyone to read on this message board. A questionaire must be taken by choice and it must also be kept confidential between the researchers and the person being questioned. Any that email you privately can be used and all others are a waste of time to read in hopes of using the information for your research. Bad input(data)= Bad output(interpretation)

< Message edited by AmbrosialWench -- 7/15/2008 7:07:05 PM >

(in reply to dragon2760)

Post #: 3

RE: Individual perspective and feedback please - 7/15/2008 7:17:27 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

In my opinion, these questions are trying to prove a point already held and would lead to a slanted whatever it is supposed to be. I believe it is unfair and would not benefit anyone who has any interest in promoting bdsm in a positive manner and taking part would only do a dis-service in adding to unfair opinions and judgments. Therefore would not benefit anyone unless the purpose was to wank from the information. Just my opinion. And when said research whatever is turned in... how do you prove research data, collection practices and the like?

(in reply to AmbrosialWench)

Post #: 4

RE: Individual perspective and feedback please - 7/15/2008 7:31:16 PM

opposingtwilight

Posts: 684
Joined: 6/13/2008
Status: offline

Oh come on people, lets just answer the questions ... Really now.

Do you feel you are mentally and emotionally healthy? Explain briefly.
Yes, I do actually. I'm a strong, confident and capable adult. I don't depend on anyone else. I pay my own bills, etc. Also, I've developed healthy coping skills such as dancing or painting or writing when I'm upset about something. I'm also generally pretty even tempered and patient with others. Yeah, I'm pretty darn healthy, I think.

Do you feel “connected” to yourself? Ex: When you feel, in your gut, that a situation is right or wrong, do you listen to your intuition or go against it?
I'm very connected to myself. I have a strong sense of self-preservation and tend to listen to my intuition unless I just flat out KNOW I'm being reticent due to shyness or something. I don't wanna miss out. :)

Are you in tune to each of the emotions you experience? Do you experience the whole range of emotions or do you usually just feel fear or anger?
I feel the whole range of emotions every single day but I would describe myself as a generally happy human being. I mean, I get sad or fearful or angry or what have you but it doesn't linger.

Do you have siblings? Please give gender and birth order.
All female, all older than me but they were also all already married by the time I came along so in esscense, I was an only child.

Did you experience any kind of childhood trauma? Physical abuse, sexual, mental, or emotional.
Yes.

If you have siblings, were they abused in the same way, differently, or were they not abused at all?
I don't know.

Were you, or do you feel you were, abandoned by one or both parents?
No.

Is there a history of alcohol and/or drug abuse in your family? Please indicate yourself or other family member.
No.

Are your parents still married? If not, how old were you when they divorced?
My father passed on when I was 13 years old but if he were alive, my parents would still be married.

Do you currently have, or have you ever had, self-esteem issues?
Oh I think everyone goes through a period of time, no matter how brief, where they have self esteem issues. Some people handle it differently than others. I don't have any issues anymore beyond thinking that sometimes I can be a total spaz. But I kinda like that about myself.

How do you handle differentiating your private sex life and your public life?
Ah, well my private sex life is private and my public life is public. :)

How many BDSM relationships have you been in?
Oh GLORY! lol Let me think ... I guess two that I would consider serious. I've never really dated "vanilla" guys though so ... Meh. I don't see how this applies.

Have you ever been interested in a vanilla relationship?
I've been interested but I've never done it.

Has BDSM always, or nearly always, been a focus for you to become sexually aroused?
No.

What BDSM activity is it that you prefer?
Thats private. (See, I'm differentiating!)

Are you currently, or have you ever, seen a therapist for any reason?
Yes! I saw a therapist when I was in school, actually. I had an eating disorder.

Are you currently, or have you ever, taken any medications for depression, anxiety, etc.
No.

Do you feel this has become something you MUST do, or is it something you can walk away from easily?
By "this" I assume you mean BDSM.--No it isn't something I MUST do. Its something I choose to do with the right person. Should another sort of right person come along, I can just as well choose to do something else with that person.

OK, so maybe I just like answering questions.

editted to fix some stuffs and to say YAYNESS! I got my pic. :)

< Message edited by opposingtwilight -- 7/15/2008 7:34:52 PM >

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Post #: 5

RE: Individual perspective and feedback please - 7/15/2008 7:33:48 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

Nice pic, OT.

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to opposingtwilight)

Post #: 6

RE: Individual perspective and feedback please - 7/15/2008 7:35:39 PM

opposingtwilight

Posts: 684
Joined: 6/13/2008
Status: offline

Thanks! -twirl-

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Post #: 7

RE: Individual perspective and feedback please - 7/15/2008 7:37:25 PM

opposingtwilight

Posts: 684
Joined: 6/13/2008
Status: offline

I think AmbrosialWench has HAWT legs though. OMGAH!

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(in reply to opposingtwilight)

Post #: 8

RE: Individual perspective and feedback please - 7/15/2008 7:58:37 PM

daisyrocket

Posts: 17
Joined: 4/16/2004
Status: offline

Dragon-
This is absolutely NOT about stereotyping at all. It's about understanding. I think your therapist may have wanted to know more about how you think of yourself in order to help you help yourself in the best way possible.

Ambrosia-
Appreciate the input, but yes, I am well aware of how research and statistics work. All I'm looking for right now is general feedback.

Lockit-
Well, I'm sorry if I've made you defensive. I'm not out to "promote" or "discourage" anything. As previously stated, I'm simply looking for feedback for better understanding. That's all.

Let's all not forget here that I have participated in BDSM myself. I'm not trying to attack anyone or the way they so choose to live their life. Whether you've answered the questions or not, you've helped my research already.

ot-
Thank you so much for answering my questions. I would be interested in more elaboration regarding some of your answers. If you have the time and the want, please email me privately with some explanation of your quick "yes/no" answers. It would be much appreciated!

(in reply to opposingtwilight)

Post #: 9

RE: Individual perspective and feedback please - 7/15/2008 8:02:34 PM

batshalom

Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline

Aw, heck. I'll bite. I'm trying to put off studying more statistics tonight, my degree is in psych (specialization in neuropsych), I know how hard it is to find data of a specific nature (although I agree that your data is going against some statistical rules - everyone in the sample must have an equal chance of being selected randomly, and this sure isn't a random test, your n doesn't seem like it's going to be a very large number which will lead to great variability, and I have no clue what you're going to use and your population mean or the standard deviation ...)

~stopping for a breath~

... but I have some time to kill.

: D

quote:

ORIGINAL: daisyrocket
Do you feel you are mentally and emotionally healthy? Explain briefly.

More so than I've ever been at any other time in my life. I am excelling in school (4.0 gpa so far, and taking upper-level classes), I find that my accomplishments gratify me. I have a Sir who is a social health psychologist at a well-known university med center who is not only a brilliant man but also a man of immense common sense. My children are having a great summer, and I am at peace mentally and emotionally. I exercise regularly and feel good about that too. Being a full-time student makes money pretty tight but unlike in my profession prior to going back to school, money doesn't matter one bit. Life is good.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daisyrocket
Do you feel “connected” to yourself? Ex: When you feel, in your gut, that a situation is right or wrong, do you listen to your intuition or go against it?

I listen. Absolutely. I'm way too old to not have learned this lesson already.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daisyrocket
Are you in tune to each of the emotions you experience? Do you experience the whole range of emotions or do you usually just feel fear or anger?

I rarely feel fear or anger. I don't really put myself in those positions. I got irritated at a classmate not too long ago, after his three-day haranguing of an instructor in regard to an exam answer he got wrong (he was completely wrong), and I said what I had to say in no uncertain terms (to the merriment of the class - apparently I said something that everyone else had been thinking). I am most often happy, content, although statistics is about enough to make me swear vehemently and often.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daisyrocket
Do you have siblings? Please give gender and birth order.

Nope. None. I'm it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daisyrocket
Did you experience any kind of childhood trauma? Physical abuse, sexual, mental, or emotional.

Yep. Sexual. My mother's husband, for years.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daisyrocket
Were you, or do you feel you were, abandoned by one or both parents?

Yep, physically by one, emotionally by the other, but we do the best we can do at the time. I don't harbor malice toward either about it, although I do admit that it led to one heck of an abandonment issue.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daisyrocket
Is there a history of alcohol and/or drug abuse in your family? Please indicate yourself or other family member.

Nope.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daisyrocket
Are your parents still married? If not, how old were you when they divorced?

Divorced when I was ... ten ... eleven ... something like that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daisyrocket
Do you currently have, or have you ever had, self-esteem issues?

You betcha. Long since passed.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daisyrocket
How do you handle differentiating your private sex life and your public life?

I don't have a public sex life. I'm not sure exactly what you mean, in fact. I'm not an exhibitionist, and have never included anyone unsuspecting in on my choice of lifestyle.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daisyrocket
How many BDSM relationships have you been in?

I don't know the exact number. + / - five fairly long-term D/s relationships.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daisyrocket
Have you ever been interested in a vanilla relationship?

I tried a few but they didn't work out well for me. They left me unfulfilled and frustrated.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daisyrocket
Has BDSM always, or nearly always, been a focus for you to become sexually aroused?

Nope.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daisyrocket
What BDSM activity is it that you prefer?

The sexual aspect isn't what does it for me. I'm in it for the power exchange / relationship itself. I'm also a service sub - I like doing things like ironing, grocery shopping, etc.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daisyrocket
Are you currently, or have you ever, seen a therapist for any reason?

Yep. Prior to learning I was a submissive. I'm not saying that coming to terms with being a submissive cured everything - I had a great therapist - but I am almost certain it had something to do with gaining perspective and allowing myself to not feel guilty for trying to be something I'm not.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daisyrocket
Are you currently, or have you ever, taken any medications for depression, anxiety, etc.

Nope.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daisyrocket
Do you feel this has become something you MUST do, or is it something you can walk away from easily?

Like I said, being a submissive isn't a sexual activity for me. It's who I am. I am a competent, intelligent, opinionated cunt who has an undeniable need to be Dominated. My current Sir and I do not have sex because I can't separate sex and love, and love is an entanglement I don't really have time for while I'm working on my degrees in one city while my Dom is in another (same state though). You might have been looking for a bedroom sub - you didn't exactly specificy - I'm not a masochist although I'm not against taking pain if that is what fits into the relationship, and I've done some pretty intense things that most vanillas would probably never consent to. I can walk away from that part of it (and I am currently not participating in it in any form), but to not be a sub? I can no more walk away from being a submissive than I can walk away from anything else that makes me who I am. I am a submissive - it's not a choice.

< Message edited by batshalom -- 7/15/2008 8:03:48 PM >

(in reply to daisyrocket)

Post #: 10

RE: Individual perspective and feedback please - 7/15/2008 8:08:05 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daisyrocket
Lockit-
Well, I'm sorry if I've made you defensive. I'm not out to "promote" or "discourage" anything. As previously stated, I'm simply looking for feedback for better understanding. That's all.

Let's all not forget here that I have participated in BDSM myself. I'm not trying to attack anyone or the way they so choose to live their life. Whether you've answered the questions or not, you've helped my research already.

When I read the questions, they sounded exactly like questions from someone who does not believe in nor approve of this lifestyle. I'm not feeling defensive, I seriously doubt lockit is either. Let's just say, it's intuitive.

Good luck in your schooling, though.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to daisyrocket)

Post #: 11

RE: Individual perspective and feedback please - 7/15/2008 8:17:49 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

I'll give it a shot.

Do you feel you are mentally and emotionally healthy? Explain briefly.
Yes, have never had any mental or emotional problems.

Do you feel “connected” to yourself? Ex: When you feel, in your gut, that a situation is right or wrong, do you listen to your intuition or go against it?
Yes, i usually listen to my gut. The one time i went against it was a big mistake.

Are you in tune to each of the emotions you experience? Do you experience the whole range of emotions or do you usually just feel fear or anger?
I feel all the emotins relevent to a situation

Do you have siblings? Please give gender and birth order.
One brother, i am the younger one

Did you experience any kind of childhood trauma? Physical abuse, sexual, mental, or emotional. None

If you have siblings, were they abused in the same way, differently, or were they not abused at all? Not at all

Were you, or do you feel you were, abandoned by one or both parents?
No

Is there a history of alcohol and/or drug abuse in your family? Please indicate yourself or other family member. My father was an alcoholic but quit drinking in his 30's.

Are your parents still married? If not, how old were you when they divorced? They were married until their deaths, about 47 yrs I think.

Do you currently have, or have you ever had, self-esteem issues?
Not that i know of.

How do you handle differentiating your private sex life and your public life? We keep our sex life private except what i reveal on these boards.

How many BDSM relationships have you been in? one online and two in real life

Have you ever been interested in a vanilla relationship? Until i was married at age 22 all of my relationshipes were vanilla.

Has BDSM always, or nearly always, been a focus for you to become sexually aroused? No, but it enhances my arousal.

What BDSM activity is it that you prefer? serving Hubby. In the bedrooms it's bondage.

Are you currently, or have you ever, seen a therapist for any reason? No

Are you currently, or have you ever, taken any medications for depression, anxiety, etc. No, except when i quit Phen-fen, then took St. John's wart to help ease out of it.

Do you feel this has become something you MUST do, or is it something you can walk away from easily? I could walk away if i had to, but would not feel fulfilled if i did.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to daisyrocket)

Post #: 12

RE: Individual perspective and feedback please - 7/15/2008 8:21:54 PM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daisyrocket
Do you feel you are mentally and emotionally healthy? Explain briefly.

Very healthy on both levels. I lead a happy, fulfilling life filled with family and friends.

quote:

Do you feel “connected” to yourself? Ex: When you feel, in your gut, that a situation is right or wrong, do you listen to your intuition or go against it?

I always listen to my gut. It's very rarely been wrong. I'm quite comfortable with my abilites to make sound judgements in life. I've been successful for my forty years.

quote:

Are you in tune to each of the emotions you experience? Do you experience the whole range of emotions or do you usually just feel fear or anger?

I'm Sicilian...I experience all emotions everyday. I'm easily happy 95% of the time.

quote:

Do you have siblings? Please give gender and birth order.

I'm the youngest of four daughters.

quote:

Did you experience any kind of childhood trauma? Physical abuse, sexual, mental, or emotional.

Nope...extremely happy childhood.

quote:

If you have siblings, were they abused in the same way, differently, or were they not abused at all?

Nope...no abuse in the house.

quote:

Were you, or do you feel you were, abandoned by one or both parents?

Nope...great relationship with my mom up until the day she died and a great relationship with my dad.

quote:

Is there a history of alcohol and/or drug abuse in your family? Please indicate yourself or other family member.

Nope. None.

quote:

Are your parents still married? If not, how old were you when they divorced?

My parents were married forty years when my mom died. If she hadn't, they would still be married. My dad is now in another relationship which is going on about ten years. They appear to be quite happy.

quote:

Do you currently have, or have you ever had, self-esteem issues?

Nope. None.

quote:

How do you handle differentiating your private sex life and your public life?

Well...my private sex life is just that. Private. It isn't discussed publicly. I don't play publicly.

quote:

How many BDSM relationships have you been in?

Four

quote:

Have you ever been interested in a vanilla relationship?

Yes.

quote:

Has BDSM always, or nearly always, been a focus for you to become sexually aroused?

It's only been within the past four years that I've acknowledged my draw to the lifestyle, but looking back through my life it has always been present and a turn on for me. I just didn't recognize it until recently.

quote:

What BDSM activity is it that you prefer?

Too many to list. I'll try most anything at least once. I tend to like edgier things.

quote:

Are you currently, or have you ever, seen a therapist for any reason?

Nope

quote:

Are you currently, or have you ever, taken any medications for depression, anxiety, etc.

Nope

quote:

Do you feel this has become something you MUST do, or is it something you can walk away from easily?

Must do.

_____________________________

(in reply to daisyrocket)

Post #: 13

RE: Individual perspective and feedback please - 7/15/2008 8:35:40 PM

Aynne

Posts: 740
Joined: 1/25/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daisyrocket

Do you feel you are mentally and emotionally healthy? Explain briefly.

Yes I do. I am a productive adult with a healthy relationship.

Do you feel “connected” to yourself? Ex: When you feel, in your gut, that a situation is right or wrong, do you listen to your intuition or go against it?

I feel that my instincts are good and I have no issues following my intuitveness.

Are you in tune to each of the emotions you experience? Do you experience the whole range of emotions or do you usually just feel fear or anger?

I am a very emotional person and my emotions range from ecstatic to angry like most adults.

Do you have siblings? Please give gender and birth order.

I have one younger sister.

Did you experience any kind of childhood trauma? Physical abuse, sexual, mental, or emotional.

None.

If you have siblings, were they abused in the same way, differently, or were they not abused at all?

No abuse.

Were you, or do you feel you were, abandoned by one or both parents?

No.

Is there a history of alcohol and/or drug abuse in your family? Please indicate yourself or other family member.

None. My parents are non drinkers and have been for their entire life and use no drugs, prescription or recreational.

Are your parents still married? If not, how old were you when they divorced?

Happily married still, 42 years in July. First marriage for both.

Do you currently have, or have you ever had, self-esteem issues?

Within reason like most women, nothing crippling or extraodinary.

How do you handle differentiating your private sex life and your public life?

I do not discuss my sex life with anyone buy my partner.

How many BDSM relationships have you been in?

One, this one.

Have you ever been interested in a vanilla relationship?

Yes.

Has BDSM always, or nearly always, been a focus for you to become sexually aroused?

No.

What BDSM activity is it that you prefer?

Not an activity, I prefer the dynamic of the entire relationship.

Are you currently, or have you ever, seen a therapist for any reason?

Yes.

Are you currently, or have you ever, taken any medications for depression, anxiety, etc.

No.

Do you feel this has become something you MUST do, or is it something you can walk away from easily?

I can not walk away from this relationship, nor do I anticipate it ending. That has nothing to do with BDSM and everything to do with being in love.

_____________________________

*Yes I know I have no profile at this time...

I looked in your eyes
Without saying a word
I told you what I am
And I hoped that you heard

~Owned and Loved by Master Sifu~

*founder of I Love Lushy Inc.*

(in reply to daisyrocket)

Post #: 14

RE: Individual perspective and feedback please - 7/15/2008 8:39:14 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

So cranky older domme's are helpful to this research... wow... and I thought I would have to be willing to answer the questions. I feel the questions are slanted and are trying to prove a point rather than asking what is actually happening out here in an unbiased or neutral manner, because there isn't a balance in the types of questions you ask.

So how is it that I have helped your research and are you willing to share your conclusions with us?

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 15

RE: Individual perspective and feedback please - 7/15/2008 8:59:36 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

As healthy as anyone else. I'm fourth generation mood disorder. In remission from unipolar and should remain so for the next 20 years.

I am extremely self aware and in touch with my feelings and instincts.

As above, in touch with my emotions and aware of the difference between exasperation and frustration, for example.

Older sister, me, younger brother.

No abuse.

No abuse of siblings.

No abandonment.

Some alcoholism, doesn't manifest till middle age. Tends to skip every other generation. Mine's the skip.

21 when they divorced. They remained friendly till my mother died, my father often joined us for holiday meals usually held at my mother's.

Self esteem issues in the past. Some connected to depression prior to development of SSRI's. Some situational and appropriate in the situation.

I haven't had sex in public since my early 20's and that was an anything goes beach. Too much sand. We hold hands and cuddle in public, if you consider that a public sex life. Otherwise I don't understand the question. I don't wear leather in public, or in private either.

In first and only d/s relationship. If this fails, I doubt I'd seek out another relationship. If it ended due to death, I'd never be able to meet his equal.

Had a vanilla marriage for 20 years. He tried bondage and felt uncomfortable tying me up, and therefore I respected his decision as he respected mine. The marriage ended for reasons totally unconnected to BDSM.

No, I enjoy lovemaking and sex of many varieties.

Bondage; rope, blindfold, gag. I'm a sens dep fan because it by depriving me of some senses, the rest and especially the sense of touch is intensified.

Therapy current and prior. I did mention fourth generation mood disorder. Meds for the same genetic disorder.

Most of what we do in our life has nothing to do with this. Laundry does not require him ordering me to separate colors or pretreat stains. Grocery shopping sometimes has a tinge of it. I tend to be unable to pick an ice cream that everybody in the family prefers. He won't let me stand and dither for 20 minutes, he just grabs chocolate. And occasionally he'll tell me to get burgers because he has a hankering to be "king of the grill".

I don't have to be tied up to enjoy sex, it's just more intense. I don't have to be in a relationship with someone who makes decisions easier than I do, it just makes life easier for me. The basis of our relationship is mutual respect and love and consideration, just as it is in any healthy relationship. But I could not walk away from this relationship easily, if I could then it wouldn't be one that fulfilled me in so many different ways. Although he could stop swiping my Sudoko books.

Now for a criticism of your study. It has underlying assumptions, and you know what happens when you assume. It is also extremely simplistic and repeats studies that others have done in much greater depth and with a much wider range of research individuals. Go read Gloria Brame PhD.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 7/15/2008 9:08:43 PM >

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 16

RE: Individual perspective and feedback please - 7/15/2008 9:20:14 PM

mbes

Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daisyrocket

I am writing a research paper for a psych class and would like it very much if all of you out there willing to participate would answer some questions and give some feedback on this lifestyle as you live it. I apologize if I might offend anyone, but I am really only looking for responses from submissive women.

I don’t want to get into a long discussion on my background but I will give you a bit so you at least have an idea of who I am and where I am at. I was once an active participant in BDSM. I am no longer. My reasons for this have to do with making the wrong choices for myself. I don’t think BDSM participation is a bad thing; if you choose to do so, more power to you.

I would like your total honesty here please, so if you find you don’t want to answer these questions publicly because they are very personal, please email me privately.

Do you feel you are mentally and emotionally healthy? Explain briefly. Yes. I function, and much better even, in this dynamic.

Do you feel “connected” to yourself? Ex: When you feel, in your gut, that a situation is right or wrong, do you listen to your intuition or go against it?
I listen to my gut always.

Are you in tune to each of the emotions you experience? Do you experience the whole range of emotions or do you usually just feel fear or anger?
I don't have much choice except to be in tune with my emotions! ~grin~

Do you have siblings? Please give gender and birth order.
I am the second of four, two girls then two boys.

Did you experience any kind of childhood trauma? Physical abuse, sexual, mental, or emotional.
Nope.

If you have siblings, were they abused in the same way, differently, or were they not abused at all?
Well, I suppose you could say they were abused "the same". None of us were.

Were you, or do you feel you were, abandoned by one or both parents?
Not at all.

Is there a history of alcohol and/or drug abuse in your family? Please indicate yourself or other family member.
Nope.

Are your parents still married? If not, how old were you when they divorced?
My parents are deceased. They never divorced, and possibly are together again.

Do you currently have, or have you ever had, self-esteem issues?
Occasionally.

How do you handle differentiating your private sex life and your public life?
I don't understand the question? What's public is public, what's private is private.

How many BDSM relationships have you been in?
One.

Have you ever been interested in a vanilla relationship?
Yes, I was in one for many years. It had its ups and downs.

Has BDSM always, or nearly always, been a focus for you to become sexually aroused?
No.

What BDSM activity is it that you prefer?
The control of d/s. And a good whuppin from time to time.

Are you currently, or have you ever, seen a therapist for any reason?
Once, after my father died. It was a waste of time.

Are you currently, or have you ever, taken any medications for depression, anxiety, etc.
As a matter of fact, I was taking them for a while before we got into this. The need for them is gone now.

Do you feel this has become something you MUST do, or is it something you can walk away from easily?
Again, I'm not sure what you mean. Walking away from some of it would be walking away from who I am. I couldn't do that easily. But it's not an addiction, or anything, and I AM an adult, so there is very little in the realm of "must".

I hope you're finding answers that are helpful to you.

(in reply to daisyrocket)

Post #: 17

RE: Individual perspective and feedback please - 7/15/2008 10:16:51 PM

monywildcat

Posts: 452
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline

I too, hope that you are getting some good feedback. Appears that you already have, right here on this message board.

I chose to send my responses back in email, so neener neener neener ya'll don't get to read my answers.

(in reply to mbes)

Post #: 18

RE: Individual perspective and feedback please - 7/15/2008 11:13:36 PM

opposingtwilight

Posts: 684
Joined: 6/13/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daisyrocket
ot-
Thank you so much for answering my questions. I would be interested in more elaboration regarding some of your answers. If you have the time and the want, please email me privately with some explanation of your quick "yes/no" answers. It would be much appreciated!

The only yes/no answer that could really be expounded upon is rather private. Was I ever abused? Yes, I was. Its over and I'm over it. Any further detail would just be ... I dunno. Weird. Tacky. Not something I feel bears any relevance to any sort of "research" you could be preparing for.

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Dr Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog

(in reply to daisyrocket)

Post #: 19

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