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What to Say When Talking Dirty - 2/8/2010 11:17:22 AM   
sebamagirl


Posts: 3
Joined: 2/6/2010
Status: offline 		Hello everyone, I need some advice. I have done alot of research on Dom/sub, Master/slave, FemDom, etc. I am very new to all of this. I am not claiming to be a know it all or even experienced but I know there will be some to come in and "attack" me for my posting.

I am submissive but switching roles or even becoming a switch is starting to look pretty good . The part that I am completely lost with is talking dirty while dominating. I am usually the shy quiet type so saying things like "Eat my pussy!" or even "You like that pussy? You wanna fuck it?" just doesn't come natural to me.

So, I need to know what to say whether it be with a man or woman.
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RE: What to Say When Talking Dirty - 2/8/2010 11:23:13 AM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		If it doesn't come naturally you dont have to do it, I personally find it a massive turn off when someone over talks or comes off as unsure when they do, the whole 'you want this' stuff reminds me of porn

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RE: What to Say When Talking Dirty - 2/8/2010 11:23:56 AM   
AAkasha


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Joined: 11/27/2004
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If it isn't so much "what" to say that is hanging you up, but "how you feel when you say it," my suggestion is to start by whispering the things, not saying them out loud.  When you whisper, it's close to the ear (no eye contact, so you don't feel like you are being studied or judged), and you will hear yourself as a different "you."  Also talk slowly. Focus on each word.  The less you can make them feel like something you heard in porn somewhere, the more natural they will feel, and the more you can get comfortable. Even saying a single word, or two words.  Don't feel like you have to be talking the whole time.  Take the pressure off yourself.  Remember, it's all about your pleasure after all :)

Akasha

< Message edited by AAkasha -- 2/8/2010 11:24:16 AM >

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RE: What to Say When Talking Dirty - 2/8/2010 11:34:16 AM   
ourmsbetty


Posts: 266
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		Avoid vulgarity if you are uncomfortable with it.

Um...I have to say you may need a clearer idea of just what you plan to do before you start worrying about what to say.

Dirty talk can take on a whole new meaning in a scene. And it may not even be necessary.

Oh and don't shout. Lean up against his ear and whisper. 

Hm...that came out a little disjointed. Maybe an example would be better.

He's bound and blindfolded, brush your body up against him and whisper "I'm going to make you cry for me." Watch him shudder, particularly if he is not much of a masochist but takes pain merely to please you.

Or  you're on the verge of doing something to him, again lean and close and say "ask me" or "beg me".

They key to good dialog is getting into his head. Telling him exactly what you are about to do or what you want him to do builds a delicious anticipate. Be specific but use every day terms rather than pornspeak.

You may also want to try making him talk dirty to you. It's a sneaky way to learn what works.

Failing that just say touch me, kiss me, etc and guide him physically to the places where you want attention.


< Message edited by ourmsbetty -- 2/8/2010 11:37:40 AM >

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RE: What to Say When Talking Dirty - 2/8/2010 11:41:40 AM   
sebamagirl


Posts: 3
Joined: 2/6/2010
Status: offline 		Thank you for your advice.

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RE: What to Say When Talking Dirty - 2/8/2010 11:54:18 AM   
HisSweetElysium


Posts: 600
Joined: 11/12/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


If it isn't so much "what" to say that is hanging you up, but "how you feel when you say it," my suggestion is to start by whispering the things, not saying them out loud.  When you whisper, it's close to the ear (no eye contact, so you don't feel like you are being studied or judged), and you will hear yourself as a different "you."  Also talk slowly. Focus on each word.  The less you can make them feel like something you heard in porn somewhere, the more natural they will feel, and the more you can get comfortable. Even saying a single word, or two words.  Don't feel like you have to be talking the whole time.  Take the pressure off yourself.  Remember, it's all about your pleasure after all :)

Akasha


I'll second that, Master talks dirty to me in German, and it sends thrills all through me. *note, I don't understand a word of German. 


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(in reply to AAkasha)
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RE: What to Say When Talking Dirty - 2/8/2010 11:59:14 AM   
ricken


Posts: 261
Joined: 1/11/2010
Status: offline 		Hi, I can relate, it took some time for me to feel comfortable, now I say stuff I wouldn't 6 months ago.
I started out slow, yes whispering is great and helps, I started with simple type of stuff..."your body drives my wild.....I like feeling your tits under my fingers..being inside you" just kind of saying what I was thinking.
I also asked questions "you want me touch you here? or saying "beg me to touch you" As she got into it, I was more comfortable, I found it easier to say and demand more from. I would rather hear nothing, than something that sounded forced and fake. I feel pretty comfortable with talking now. Yeah I like questions, in the beginning I was uncomfortable with "vulgar" talk but in the answers they give are the keys to what you can do to drive them wilder

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RE: What to Say When Talking Dirty - 2/8/2010 12:17:06 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


If it isn't so much "what" to say that is hanging you up, but "how you feel when you say it," my suggestion is to start by whispering the things, not saying them out loud.  When you whisper, it's close to the ear (no eye contact, so you don't feel like you are being studied or judged), and you will hear yourself as a different "you."  Also talk slowly. Focus on each word.  The less you can make them feel like something you heard in porn somewhere, the more natural they will feel, and the more you can get comfortable. Even saying a single word, or two words.  Don't feel like you have to be talking the whole time.  Take the pressure off yourself.  Remember, it's all about your pleasure after all :)

Akasha


This is great advice, also to note. That when you say things slowly and spread a few words out, it gives your "victim" (hehehe) some time to mentally soak in the dirty thought you just gave them. Talking too much, or none stop babble is not as seductive as a few whispered words.

I tend to pace my words along with their current mental or physical state, where the closer they are coming to orgasm I will be saying things louder and firmly and meaner. Then you can really cut loose, i.e. "Oh yeah, Spank that pussy harder you fucking little worthless slut, I wanna see you cum all over yourself... blah blah blah..."

You can start off slowly, with whispers and then build things up along with how turned on they are becoming. One Cavet to this, at least from my experience... At times you can verbally push too much too soon and sort of Ruin the building effect. What you are doing verbally, physically and how they are reacting is amazing when it's all in sync together at the same speed or pace. (Just saying). It's not always the case.

There are no correct or wrong ways, and many different techniques to explore and try out. The first thing is getting comfortable talking dirty.

Here's an excerise for you to try. While masterbating fantasizing about topping somebody and practice saying Dirty Nasty things out loud.

You can start by whispering those things, then saying them a little louder, as you reach orgasm don't be suprised to find yourself yelling things out loud. This also gives you a good idea as to how to pace things and what tones of voice to use. Basically, you are experimenting vebally while playing with yourself before anybody else (PUN intended).

This will help you feel more comfortable and used to saying dirty nasty things. Find words or phrases that get you off, or stimulate yourself. Play around with how you say things as well. At times, it's not what you say but rather how you say it.

Hope this helps some.

< Message edited by Whiplashsmile4 -- 2/8/2010 12:23:03 PM >

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RE: What to Say When Talking Dirty - 2/8/2010 12:32:44 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		I had a hard time with this, when I dated a guy who was a bit dysfunctional unless you said dirty, taboo things to him.  I felt kinda silly, and uncomfortable saying a lot of the things he needed.  Worse, he just couldn't orgasm without it, and I'd always leave thinking I'd let him down because I sucked at it so badly.   Meaning, cum = good job, no cum = bad job

I'm not by any means quiet!  But the dirty talk, especially if it is vulgar language, just doesn't come easy.  If its required, especially if it is required, I get performance anxiety or something.

When I Top, I'm more sadistic and sensual -not sexual, so talking dirty doesn't factor into it for me.  You could always start with some sensory deprivation (put ear muffs/plugs in his ears and blindfold him) and focus on the sensations you inflict rather than the verbal cues.

WinD


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RE: What to Say When Talking Dirty - 2/8/2010 12:41:46 PM   
sebamagirl


Posts: 3
Joined: 2/6/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4


Here's an excerise for you to try. While masterbating fantasizing about topping somebody and practice saying Dirty Nasty things out loud.

You can start by whispering those things, then saying them a little louder, as you reach orgasm don't be suprised to find yourself yelling things out loud. This also gives you a good idea as to how to pace things and what tones of voice to use. Basically, you are experimenting vebally while playing with yourself before anybody else (PUN intended).

This will help you feel more comfortable and used to saying dirty nasty things. Find words or phrases that get you off, or stimulate yourself. Play around with how you say things as well. At times, it's not what you say but rather how you say it.

Hope this helps some.



Never even thought of thought , hmmmm, thanks

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RE: What to Say When Talking Dirty - 2/8/2010 12:46:49 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sebamagirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4


Here's an excerise for you to try. While masterbating fantasizing about topping somebody and practice saying Dirty Nasty things out loud.

You can start by whispering those things, then saying them a little louder, as you reach orgasm don't be suprised to find yourself yelling things out loud. This also gives you a good idea as to how to pace things and what tones of voice to use. Basically, you are experimenting vebally while playing with yourself before anybody else (PUN intended).

This will help you feel more comfortable and used to saying dirty nasty things. Find words or phrases that get you off, or stimulate yourself. Play around with how you say things as well. At times, it's not what you say but rather how you say it.

Hope this helps some.



Never even thought of thought , hmmmm, thanks



I dunno, but if I started talking back to myself while I masterbated, I would probably lose the rythm from laughing so hard. 

WinD:  Oo baby...yes..that's it...
followed by WinD a second later:  Huh?  What'd you say?


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RE: What to Say When Talking Dirty - 2/8/2010 3:33:23 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

I dunno, but if I started talking back to myself while I masterbated, I would probably lose the rythm from laughing so hard. 

WinD:  Oo baby...yes..that's it...
followed by WinD a second later:  Huh?  What'd you say?



While you can talk back to yourself... (which i was not thinking about).

I meant for saying things, like it was directed to another person, whomever your fantasy is about while masterbating. :-P

< Message edited by Whiplashsmile4 -- 2/8/2010 4:11:39 PM >

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RE: What to Say When Talking Dirty - 2/8/2010 3:38:18 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

While you can talk back to yourself... (which i was not thinking about).

I meant for saying things, like it was directed to another person, whomever you fantasy about while masterbating. :-P


I know what you meant!  I just can't help how my mind perverts everything.

WinD

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RE: What to Say When Talking Dirty - 2/8/2010 3:43:16 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

While you can talk back to yourself... (which i was not thinking about).

I meant for saying things, like it was directed to another person, whomever you fantasy about while masterbating. :-P


I know what you meant!  I just can't help how my mind perverts everything.

WinD


I do wonder what that would be like for somebody with DID, where two or more Alters that were aware of one another interacted... Now that would be... wow.. kinda.. Hot... kinda... true freaky.. watching somebody get the kink on like this.

Ummmmmmm....

< Message edited by Whiplashsmile4 -- 2/8/2010 3:45:07 PM >

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