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RE: I hate it when........ - 1/11/2009 10:58:09 AM

LinnaeaBorealis

Posts: 8595
Joined: 10/5/2008
From: Insanity & beyond
Status: offline

Big, big, massive huge gigantaurus hugs to you, Sage!! I had the same situation with my girlfriend & the cat who preferred her over me after my Mr Cat died. It's a hard place to be, because it just reminds you that you don't have your love with you any longer. Wait & the new one who will love you will appear when the time is right.

_____________________________

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
~~L. Cohen

Just one of the yahoo's

(in reply to SavageFaerie)

Post #: 18781

RE: I hate it when........ - 1/11/2009 11:02:49 AM

SavageFaerie

Posts: 4377
Joined: 12/3/2004
From: NYC
Status: offline

Linea, you are just a blessing.

There is some many other feeling attached to the loss, that I hate to even go into.
This has thrown be into a downward spirial and not just related to the lose. I do pretty
well with grief in general and content he is in a happy place.
Its the other demons its brings out that makes me spirial.

_____________________________

Disclaimer:If its the wrong word or misspelled I blame on my fingers and brains refusing to interact.

(in reply to LinnaeaBorealis)

Post #: 18782

RE: I hate it when........ - 1/11/2009 11:09:49 AM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

Hugs and gratitude to those who are so kind to me. I agree that the Things will hopefully come to understand that their dad is acting like a loose cannon. When we were married and he was on top of his game, we had a pretty comfortable life. Then he tanked, stopped taking his meds, started having affairs with co-workers, couldn't hold down a job, lied to me about our finances, and lots of other stuff. He was mean and angry, verbally and emotionally abusive, and was emotionally withdrawn from me, and took up an affair with alcohol.

It took a really long time for me to understand that I could not "fix" him and that he was broken and didn't want to be mended. He preferred to blame others and "bad luck" for not being able to be a man and do what he needed to do. He used to tell everyone that he was retired, while I was working 3 jobs to keep our house from being foreclosed on, while he was actually just sitting around, drinking and sleeping all day.

Aynne, if there's any way for me to explain that letting this go on longer is going to yield a different result, I'd love to make sure that you understood it, from another one of the women who had been in your position before. Please don't wait for something that may never happen (like your husband appreciating you and treating you properly) when you have a Sir who obviously feels very deeply for you. One of my best friends for the past 28 years is trying to get out of her marriage of nearly 18 years, and they own a business together which she has felt bad to leave him with since it isn't thriving. I begged her not to wait months ago, but her parents guilted her into "giving things another shot." Now, she's worse off than before and the friends she had out of state who were ready to take her in for a while, are now, not in a position to have her come because of some changes in their lives. So, now... she's wishing that she would've left.

Just 2 cents... for what it's worth.

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Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

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(in reply to Aynne88)

Post #: 18783

RE: I hate it when........ - 1/11/2009 11:28:04 AM

Aynne88

Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline

Thank you sweet girl. He is my legal ex, but nonetheless we were married for 14 years and have been co-dependently entangled for 6 after that, so yes, twenty years in this is mess has now made me feel that I am just have wasted so much time, and then the mind does that awful thing especially with women that we feel we have to be the kind one and the nurturer meanwhile Sir is being so incredibly patient, but he has let me know it is wearing thin, and so it goes, you know. I appreciate your sharing and I do know that if I don't do something now I will lose the man I love and be in the same boat only older and more miserable. For someone that prides herself on being a strong feminist woman I feel like a fake and a pushover. Sometimes I think that I dont deserve to be so happy in a new relationship f it means wrecking someone else in the process, but I need to realzie that someone is going to get hurt and I am tired of it being me, you know? I am sorry to derail this thread into an "aynne" thread, forgive me you guys, I'll keep you posted, or do it via cmail, thanks again everyone, I do feel better knowing that you guys care. And don't worry, I can handle tough love and ass kicking too

.

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Post #: 18784

RE: I hate it when........ - 1/11/2009 11:40:02 AM

Kalista07

Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline

i hate it when the client who i told You all about last week lost the battle to addiction on Friday evening. i hate even worse that when i read his obituary today it made me feel immensely sad due to the amount of denial his parents continue to be. Sometimes i hate that i have this much intellectual knowledge. As i told Him about it this morning, i told Him to prepare himself for me to be sued for malpractice. The thing i struggled with was putting into words that this might be the only way for them to grasp the concept of how emotionally, spiritually, and physically sick their son was.
Kali

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

(in reply to Aynne88)

Post #: 18785

RE: I hate it when........ - 1/11/2009 11:41:22 AM

trappedinamuseum

Posts: 5066
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

I'm so sorry Kali...

For what it is worth, we'll be here for you, no matter what.

_____________________________

"You're gonna catch a cold, from the ice inside you soul.
Don't come back for me.
Don't come back at all" - Jar of Hearts

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 18786

RE: I hate it when........ - 1/11/2009 11:45:18 AM

Kalista07

Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline

Aw, Trapped....Who knew you could be as sweet as You are hot!!!

Dayum!!!

Kali

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

(in reply to trappedinamuseum)

Post #: 18787

RE: I hate it when........ - 1/11/2009 11:47:54 AM

trappedinamuseum

Posts: 5066
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

Aw, Trapped....Who knew you could be as sweet as You are hot!!!

Dayum!!!

Kali

Well, I am not completely heartless.

Just mostly.

_____________________________

"You're gonna catch a cold, from the ice inside you soul.
Don't come back for me.
Don't come back at all" - Jar of Hearts

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 18788

RE: I hate it when........ - 1/11/2009 11:50:21 AM

Kalista07

Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: trappedinamuseum

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

Aw, Trapped....Who knew you could be as sweet as You are hot!!!

Dayum!!!

Kali

Well, I am not completely horny.

Just mostly.

Fixed that one for ya there sweety!!!
Kali

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

(in reply to trappedinamuseum)

Post #: 18789

RE: I hate it when........ - 1/11/2009 11:51:42 AM

trappedinamuseum

Posts: 5066
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

Fixed that one for ya there sweety!!!
Kali

Well, that's kinda incorrect....cuz I am horny....all the time....

damn the Face.

_____________________________

"You're gonna catch a cold, from the ice inside you soul.
Don't come back for me.
Don't come back at all" - Jar of Hearts

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 18790

RE: I hate it when........ - 1/11/2009 11:51:59 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

*snort*

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(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 18791

RE: I hate it when........ - 1/11/2009 11:53:35 AM

Kalista07

Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline

Teleportation powers be damned!!! i could fix that for ya!!!

Kali

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 18792

RE: I hate it when........ - 1/11/2009 12:00:55 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I am just generically hating today. I have been in a ghastly mood, made a Personal Resolution that was/is FUCKING difficult, though it is totally the right thing for me to do for myself, and I found that one of my old Chicago pals that I haven't seen in years died of a heart attack a few weeks ago.

SO I offer you all big sparkles!! We deserve them!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 18793

RE: I hate it when........ - 1/11/2009 12:03:03 PM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

(((((hug))))) for the wonderful LadyH

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PICKED UPON
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MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
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VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

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(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 18794

RE: I hate it when........ - 1/11/2009 12:06:18 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

*hugs da stuffin outta LadyH*

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Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 18795

RE: I hate it when........ - 1/11/2009 12:07:51 PM

simpleplan2

Posts: 461
Joined: 7/5/2008
Status: offline

Afternoon Lady H

Sorry about your pal. That totally sucks.

< Message edited by simpleplan2 -- 1/11/2009 12:08:46 PM >

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 18796

RE: I hate it when........ - 1/11/2009 12:09:33 PM

LinnaeaBorealis

Posts: 8595
Joined: 10/5/2008
From: Insanity & beyond
Status: offline

Big big hugs, LadyH. Some days life just plain sucks!!

_____________________________

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
~~L. Cohen

Just one of the yahoo's

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 18797

RE: I hate it when........ - 1/11/2009 12:13:40 PM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

*snorgles the lovely Lady H*

iffin ya need to chat, you have my phone #

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Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

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10 NZ points
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(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 18798

RE: I hate it when........ - 1/11/2009 12:16:57 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

Great big hugs for Aynne, Kali, and LadyH.

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 18799

RE: I hate it when........ - 1/11/2009 12:20:05 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

LadyH, I'm so sorry to hear it. Losing one of your own definitely sucks. My sympathies.

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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Post #: 18800

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