PapaJohnQ
Posts: 24
Joined: 2/28/2009
Status: offline
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First women quit wearing corsets. Then Rubber girdles. Then they burned their bras. Then they did high impact aerobics. Got high on being exercise junqueens. Now they have weight problems, flat feet, breasts that hang down to their knees, and look like aged jungle queens at the age of 40, or resemble famished rhino wart hawgs.
What did they expect! Years of saying, "Yes, we can,,," be just .... (Fill in the blanks with your own poison) men, have proven women right. They look like old men who were beautiful muscle masses when they were twenty, and now look like Governor Arnie with curtains of ex-movie mass hanging on their backs. (Formerly heavy lifting muscle around the shoulder areas.) Were it not for the surgical skills of the quadruple bypass butchers, anabolic Arnie would be doing push ups lying on his back 6 feet under working with daisies, pansies and other flowers of graveyard ilk. Winston once said: "Sportlier is murderlier."
In their rebellion against Mom's World, seeing the devastating effects of health food on their MOMS, Hockey or otherwise, kids live on junque food, and tv games. I know one highly intelligent, highly educated engineer who washed out of "Top Gun" because part way through they discovered he was diabetic. He overdoses with insulin in the morning and lives on Non-Sugar free Cola and chocolate bars, paying the price with his teeth. So charming, the $500K income did not hurt his cause, he wooed and wed a deep south plantation beauty, his wife now makes his life miserable telling him, if not for her - for the sake of his teeth, to please stop with this nonsense and eat "right." The old bag looks like a Minoan Goddess, although she does not walk around with her chest hanging out. No exercise! Just a well fitting corset which does more than control her waist, it takes care of her appetite too.
Since her posture is perfect, she has no back problems. Since her weight is right, she walks a lot, has strong healthy feet, (Big, but healthy), fine arches, well developed calfs, and not a sign of cellulitus. Her bikini body is enough to drive Opora to tears. Not face lifts, no Turkey skin neck. No cosmetic butchery. I asked her once, how can you wear a corset? She told me, it makes her feel beautiful. She said I ought to try it. No way. Real men don't eat their veges, brush their teeth, cry at weddings or funerals, and do not wear corsets. I know. I am one. True, at 435 pounds, my height is decreasing, and I have developed a sway back. Economics made me decide to wear my trousers under my belly rather than over it. Waist size 33 is usually cheaper than waist size 62. When I was 23, I was an off the rack 44 long, with 30x30 trousers. Now I am the rack.
Did you ever notice how dumb medical doctors are. I know! I have one for a daughter. She stopped talking to me when she was three. Her mother's new husband was a little bald Ph.D. English language sex maniac. I don't think all that reading does anyone any good. While I was living "Lady Chatterley's Lover." he was reading it. I never did read it. who reads in bed when ... Ah never mind. My theory is that if you swap spit, locking lips, playing tonsil hockey, you never have to floss, or brush even. Thirty five years of loving with no cavities have supported my case. And despite a nearly 100% weight gain since I was 17, my waist is only three inches larger. These Doctor's always start off the conversation with, "Looks like you have gained a little weight lately." That has got to be the understatement of all time. Then they ask if I have not thought about loosing some weight and give a repeat lecture of the last 5,723 Doctor's visits. Now, I am a highly educated person, coming from a long tradition of highly educated persons. At a recent family gathering, I was shocked at the sight of several hundred gray bearded fat old men, (We don't none of us read much!) most of whom looked just like me. Except, of course, for the nose. I bumped into more hard fists with my nose, not even an archaeologist could reconstruct my nose.
Unlike some Oscar nominee`s, I quite before my nose could no longer find my face. I became a trial lawyer! My bumper sticker read. "Lawyers do it legally!" I was never quite sure what "it" was, but I am pretty sure it did not relate tooth brushing
PJQ
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RE: I hate it when........ - 
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