Toppingfrmbottom
Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
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lucsious and I must say the ones that know me and know my mental illness and just how abused I was as a kid so it left me emotionally stunted forgive a lot from me and told me maybe if I let people know, hey look I'm a kid inside an I just get so happy I cant help but want to share my happiness with you or I will burst, people will be more forgiving, and yeah you guys even rip the people who're mean to me publically a new ass hole sometimes for them jumping on me when I am reach out for help an they don't take me seriously.
The part of the problem is you can open yourself up to much and leave yourself free to be sucker p unched in the heart, and then you're weary, but you have no on else to talk to, so you have to spew it here, and then you get help but some people still sucker punch you in the heart, but the ones that don't become valued friends.
Daddy used to tell me all the time to learn to keep shut about certain things that paint us in a bad light, or that tell only have a sotry an then people are like oh god the idiots at it again, but this forrum was the only place I had to tell people private painful stuff and know despite the idiots I was safe because people here can't lock me up, so when I over shared an stuff it was usually because I had no one else to talk to and left myself wide open to the bullies by being vunerable. Then daddy didn't understand why I kept opening myself up to the bullies and was sympathetic but mad I posted about personal stuff so openly an then said I may as well of pinned a bit come bully me thread, because I sounded like an idiot because I didn't say things right then had to back peddle an that's why people thought I was blowing smoke up t heir ass and an attention whore, so stop doing what you're doing.
He understands now and I told him sometimes I'm just gonna have to open the door and if the bullies come sucker punch me don't lecture me just hold me an let me cry my heart out like you would your 10 year old child who just came home from the playground in tears would do and then I'll be ok.
And I've already had comeplte strangers reach out and tell me i can call at all hours of the night if I needed, and I didn't say ok and have no intention of doing so , I actually did. So THEY know I am not shining on their help and being like hahaha! I got you to help me because I am a posting whore who enjoys crying for help and tricking people into helping me.
Those of you who see me for me an the pain inside are almost always more sensitive than the brutes.
"Leaning my head against your head and having a quiet moment of I understand you and you know I do.quote:
ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
TFB,
I alienated a whole group I loved showing up at a weekend with depression and PMS from hell. I did not make it through with all the friendships in tact. I am better now due to medication. We have compassion for you. Others may not. Appreciate the supporters and just try to be the best you can be and we will forgive your flaws. Thats what real friends do. The others, dont put to much weight on their opinion. We all have people who love us and all have those who dont love us. Dont focus on the ones who'll beat you down. Focus on the love, dear.
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RE: I hate it when........ - 
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