MizSuz
Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Termyn8or
All you people on their drugs tell me this, just how many hours of counselling were there BEFORE they put you on it ?
And, do you expect to be on it for life ?
Hours of counseling? I couldn't give you a total. I started therapy about the time puberty hit. I've been in and out of therapy ever since. I'll be 44 in February. In my experience you can spend years going to every kind of sweat lodge (and variant thereof) you can find, spend years sitting in a semi lotus reflecting on your proverbial belly button, study various religions and spiritual paths, engage in as many alternative therapies as there are allopathic ones, try all the allopathic ones; and eventually you're going to come to the conclusion that the answer (for you) is somewhere in the middle. It's just a question of finding where "middle" is for you.
Therapy is a wonderful tool. Unfortunately it's often an extremely painful and traumatic process but can ultimately lead to significant growth. But there are only so many demons one can exorcise before it becomes redundant and unnecessary drama. At that point you've usually acquired enough skill to know when you need that other perspective and go when you need it; such as life crisis situations, major life changes, and significant bumps in the road.
For me medications, therapy as needed, massage (my preference is deep tissue neuromuscular with reiki and polarity therapy - swedish massage pisses me off), the occasional visit to the chiropractor, meditation, aerobic cellular respiration, diet and plenty of rest can go a long way in helping me stay balanced. It can also consume ones' day if you let it.
I tell people what finding the right medication was like for me. I spent nearly two decades acquiring all this knowledge and experience and introspection skills. I tore myself inside out looking for personal demons and causes for dysfunction. I taught myself the things that weren't modeled to me that I wanted in my life. I forgave and learned to love the people that should have modeled and didn't. I learned to nurture and honor myself so that I could honor others in the ways my heart wanted. I learned that sometimes the strongest love is the love that can let go. I learned what integrity meant to me. I learned how I wanted to love the people around me. But I couldn't put it into action. Emotion ruled the day. Years at a time of suicidal depression punctuated with irrational, explosive anger and being the life of the party. Years of trial and error with medications that at best made me want to hurl all the time. Years of misdiagnosis and treatments that made me worse. Then one day the right combination of medications and therapies happened, and the skills I'd spent all those years learning just started slipping right into place. I still feel a full range of emotion, but I make concious choices about my behavior. No, I'm not perfect and sometimes I'm as neurotic as the next person, but I'm good to the people I love, I'm happy and I'm productive. I've walked through the fire (and still have the coals - I occasionally do charcoal drawings with them) and am ok with where I ended up. I'm even excited for the future.
Would you be surprised to know that I did the other things before I acquiesced to the medication?
I don't know if I'll always be on the medication. I'd like to think not, but I know how very textbook it is for people to go off meds to see, and then have to spend months trying to get their life back on track. I've tried it myself and I'm too damned old to be starting over all the time. I've done it to death. I do know that my life is better with the medication than without. If that changes I'll reevaluate the situation, like I would anything else.
If my testimonials for medications seem to you like I just went through a funk and decided that a pill would fix my problems then please let me clarify now that has not been my experience. In fact, it's very difficult for the so very many folks who have had to deal with similar things to so often have to resist the urge to rise to the insult that is the assumption that we're weak, uneducated, inexperienced and/ or in emotional dysfunction and denial. Many of us have done a wider range of things than the average duck to learn to be happy, functional and to add value. But, we do resist. Some of us do it better than others, though.
I worked for a pharma (that didn't deal in psychiatric medications). It was a good company, staffed by good people (including the execs). I have some idea of the process and I walked away without a conspiracy theory (unless you count my feelings about personal injury lawyers in general). Yeah, they had their share of jackasses there, but the vast majority of the people I worked with were decent, hard working and ethical people interested in doing a good job and proud to be helping to ease suffering. It's a medium to large organization and therefore a body politic, but overall my experience was a good one.
If you've found a way to take care of you and yours that works for you then I'm truly happy for you. Can you be happy for me that I've found a way that works for me?
Speaking of 'plenty of rest,' it's my time. Good night.
_____________________________
“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein
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RE: Not sure where to post this- Antidepressants - 
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