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RE: Monogamy - 2/22/2004 8:10:01 PM

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Did he agree to be monogomous?
If yes, he's violating the terms of the relationship... in essence he is not in a relationship with you without your consent (the one cardinal rule).

If no, this is a communicatoin issue.

Any relationship should satisfy the needs of all involved. If you need monogomy and he is unwilling to provide it then you are in the wrong relationship.

Jerry

(in reply to MizSuz)

RE: Monogamy - 2/22/2004 10:16:12 PM

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Joined: 2/3/2004
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Just wanted to thank you all for your thoughts and advice on this issue. It has really helped me to understand what the BDSM lifestyle is not about. I am happy to report that I have moved on and am seeking a Dom who is honest and has a high degree of personal integrity. Thanks again.

(in reply to slaveSeeksDom)

RE: Monogamy - 2/26/2004 3:44:49 AM

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Joined: 2/22/2004
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Unfortunatly this lifestyle seems to encourage cheating. How many ads do you see here from subs and slaves looking for another "sub" for their Master? how many females WANT to be loaned out to other men or women? Personally I think that bisexual females outnumber bisexual men 5-1 here but that seems to be another lifestyle choice in that dominant FEMALES expect their slaves to sit by and watch other men have sex with their Mistresses. I think that MUIGHT be why I could never be a slave to a female. I would never be able to do that.
Because of this I'm afraid that too many Doms think they can get away with this AND they usually do because of the nature of slavery to start with. Get in trouble then blame HER and unfortunatly she is usually so controlled by him that she actually believes it. Is he wrong to cheat on you? Yes, he is but you need to establish clear guidelines up front about that also. Just sit him down and say, "i know it is out there and that others do it BUT I want no part of it. I am yours exclusively or I don't want you, PERIOD. Then make sure you and he do NOT go to play parties.
I have to tell you that I have had subs up to HERE. They come to me in play parties and want ME to dominante them while their husband watches even to the point of having sex with them while he is still watching. I have had private scenes with them as well as public and I would never treat MY slave like that noe let her do that with anyone else. I guess that is one reason I need to find the true slave that wants and needs ME only and takes up ALL my time. That way I will be spending so much time with her that I would not want or need anyone else.

(in reply to slaveSeeksDom)

RE: Monogamy - 11/21/2015 5:10:01 PM

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Make sure you go get std tested. God knows what he gave you

_____________________________

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The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

(in reply to slaveSeeksDom)

RE: Monogamy - 11/21/2015 11:03:31 PM

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Joined: 5/31/2012
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slaveseeksdom I wish you well on your search for a dom worthy of your gift of submission. make sure that you have a open communication with the dom where you can safely say things and ask questions. without clear communications the dynamic will fail. when topics are not allowed to be discussed and questions are not answered and the dynamic falters it is incumbent on all parties to have clear channels of communication and able to address the things that are causing strife and stress.

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currently owned by LadyAthena15805
i will always come to the call of those i love

(in reply to JanahX)

RE: Monogamy - 11/22/2015 12:52:24 AM

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From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littleclip

slaveseeksdom I wish you well on your search for a dom worthy of your gift of submission. make sure that you have a open communication with the dom where you can safely say things and ask questions. without clear communications the dynamic will fail. when topics are not allowed to be discussed and questions are not answered and the dynamic falters it is incumbent on all parties to have clear channels of communication and able to address the things that are causing strife and stress.

Considering the OP was made 12 years ago, she's probably moved on.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to littleclip)

RE: Monogamy - 11/22/2015 8:02:08 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleclip

slaveseeksdom I wish you well on your search for a dom worthy of your gift of submission. make sure that you have a open communication with the dom where you can safely say things and ask questions. without clear communications the dynamic will fail. when topics are not allowed to be discussed and questions are not answered and the dynamic falters it is incumbent on all parties to have clear channels of communication and able to address the things that are causing strife and stress.

Considering the OP was made 12 years ago, she's probably moved on.

I bet she still hasn't got tested. Heh.

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: Monogamy - 11/22/2015 10:44:30 AM

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Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleclip

slaveseeksdom I wish you well on your search for a dom worthy of your gift of submission. make sure that you have a open communication with the dom where you can safely say things and ask questions. without clear communications the dynamic will fail. when topics are not allowed to be discussed and questions are not answered and the dynamic falters it is incumbent on all parties to have clear channels of communication and able to address the things that are causing strife and stress.

Considering the OP was made 12 years ago, she's probably moved on.

I bet she still hasn't got tested. Heh.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to JanahX)

RE: Monogamy - 11/23/2015 12:28:49 AM

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Joined: 2/6/2011
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Getting upset about cheating has nothing to do with submission.

It depends on what is pre-agreed prior to you agreeing to be his sub.

If he told you his gonna be exclusive to you, as a dominant, he should honour his words. If he wants to change things, he needs to discuss the matter with you first and have your agreement.

There are doms who practice poly but they do it with the approval of all that is involved. They wouldn't do it behind their backs.

(in reply to MizSuz)

RE: Monogamy - 11/23/2015 12:29:53 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Considering the OP was made 12 years ago, she's probably moved on.

Oh, I never look at dates, this post is that old!!! Wow. Who the hell pull this out!

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: Monogamy - 11/23/2015 9:51:15 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Considering the OP was made 12 years ago, she's probably moved on.

Oh, I never look at dates, this post is that old!!! Wow. Who the hell pull this out!

I did when the site was down & I was bored as fuck. It's same ol - same ol. Hell this could of been written yesterday as this kind of shit is rather common. I always do wonder of the outcome of some of these people that don't have one ounce of common sense in their entire bodies. Do they die early?

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

(in reply to Greta75)

RE: Monogamy - 11/23/2015 11:45:27 AM

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Literally dump him as fast and as brutally as you can and never look back.

(in reply to slaveSeeksDom)

RE: Monogamy - 11/23/2015 11:48:56 AM

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Joined: 10/23/2012
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It's a 12yo thread!!!!

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(in reply to sweetieDA)

RE: Monogamy - 11/25/2015 2:11:20 AM

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Joined: 7/30/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveSeeksDom

I have was in a relationship for 2 years with a dom. About 9 mos. into the relationship, I discovered that he was cheating on me left and right 2-3 times per week with different women while we were living together. He tells me that because I complain to him about this, because I cry and get upset that I am not a true submissive. Would love to hear from other doms on this topic. Does being submissive mean that you tolerate cheating?

A year and a quarter you stay with him or see him while he's been cheating and now you come here ? Seems you don't really care or you'd have cut it off many months ago.

< Message edited by MrRodgers -- 11/25/2015 2:12:39 AM >

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You can be a murderous tyrant and the world will remember you fondly but fuck one horse and you will be a horse fucker for all eternity. Catherine the Great

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite.
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(in reply to slaveSeeksDom)

RE: Monogamy - 11/25/2015 9:01:15 AM

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Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrRodgers

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveSeeksDom

I have was in a relationship for 2 years with a dom. About 9 mos. into the relationship, I discovered that he was cheating on me left and right 2-3 times per week with different women while we were living together. He tells me that because I complain to him about this, because I cry and get upset that I am not a true submissive. Would love to hear from other doms on this topic. Does being submissive mean that you tolerate cheating?

A year and a quarter you stay with him or see him while he's been cheating and now you come here ? Seems you don't really care or you'd have cut it off many months ago.

I'm guessing she cut it off 12 years ago.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to MrRodgers)

RE: Monogamy - 12/9/2015 11:45:36 AM

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Joined: 11/4/2015
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Big scary black typing hurted my eyes :(

Takes to the googlers to think hmm best I can come up with
It is estimated that roughly 35% to 75% of all married individuals will frolic elsewhere. I looked at few studies

Slippernotes
1 I just refer to married people it does not include attached people which is probably to med-high end of those cited figures
2 I am talking about sex bj etc eg more than a kiss

When in a relationship I have also omitted
3 logging onto googles and searching for big breasted nymphets in corset who can whip up a nice plate of scones (still have to get a good recipe)
4. Joining a site called slutywomenandmenwhoareupforit.muffin

Defining what is cheating is out with the remit of this thread.

He is blaming you, tis what they do, they blame someone else for their wandering loins, classical scoundrel cheaty talk...tis alarge book I have no wish to cite. You have some thinking to do as when it is serial in nature it will not stop.

Have I ever cheated yes…not for a great many, many epochs. I am also quite vocal of speaking out against it the last decade. They infest all sites to massive ratios I am fine with the ones upfront about it. Perhaps the internet makes it a lot easier
There are many classical signs of cheating – outwith the remit if this thread, again

He will not change his ways while he is dating you. You must decide and you will never get proper answers, ever.

“I am not a true submissive” – what drivel - and half of you will believe it, passage of more time all of you will believe, if he conditions you over along enough time.

Once, long long ago, I was not a man and then I discovered muffins. But I never blamed her and she never knew and another found it and said I lothario-scallywag-rascal-thjiever of muffins, said yes immediately cos there was some man in me 26 years (46 now I type that occasionally and I as some people know on here when the math’s has to make sense) ago.

I am also fortunate in that I can function all alone I do not like doing so but me and my 3cats what stories I tell them and what vet bills they run up for me. Many cannot – no matter how I word it I will not change them.

What will you do I wonder – does he stay with you or you him?
How do you feel?

(in reply to MizSuz)

RE: Monogamy - 12/12/2015 10:03:25 PM

Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
Status: offline

No one has the right to force their sexuality on other people.

Prudes don't have the right to make you give up BDSM.

Similarly, polygamists don't have the right to to make you give up monogamy.
(And cheating on you is not polygamy.)

He is not worth seeing. His view of sexuality is not the 'real' one, you can have your own.

In addition, in this life style, women are really in control and can pick and choose whoever you want to submit to. Even if you are submissive.

You just need the courage to choose.

(in reply to slaveSeeksDom)

RE: Monogamy - 12/12/2015 10:55:48 PM

Posts: 14414
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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I'm guessing that since the thread is 12 years old, she's probably already chosen.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to StrongSpirit)

RE: Monogamy - 12/13/2015 4:27:56 AM

Aibo

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Joined: 1/28/2006
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I liked the reply by Voltare: "Everything you ever needed to know about BDSM you learned in kindergarten." Entirely true, this isn't rocket science, common sense do apply also in the BDSM world. :)

(in reply to MizSuz)

RE: Monogamy - 12/31/2015 2:54:14 PM

Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveSeeksDom

I have was in a relationship for 2 years with a dom. About 9 mos. into the relationship, I discovered that he was cheating on me left and right 2-3 times per week with different women while we were living together. He tells me that because I complain to him about this, because I cry and get upset that I am not a true submissive. Would love to hear from other doms on this topic. Does being submissive mean that you tolerate cheating?

No. It means it's the same old thinly veiled bullying/manipulation topic.

"It's your fault".

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to slaveSeeksDom)

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