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RE: Spotting a sub - 5/11/2007 10:29:25 PM   
farieanne


Posts: 65
Joined: 2/24/2007
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline
quote:

Archer 

Examples
look at them accross the table, tell them "Come here" with a waggle of the finger gesture.
Watch the way they do or do not comply with the direction.

"I would like you to (insert a pose or display that you like to see) for me."


hmmmmm................. ok is it just me or was think hot?

< Message edited by farieanne -- 5/11/2007 10:31:11 PM >

_____________________________

Master Peter's

"A woman will always sacrifice herself if you give her the opportunity. It is her favourite form of self-indulgence.” - William Somerset Maugham

(in reply to Archer)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Spotting a sub - 5/11/2007 10:30:15 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stella40

Well here we go again trying to label people.

Why don't we make it easier for each other and wear signs on our foreheads - such as 'SUBMISSIVE', 'DOMINANT', 'INTELLECTUAL', 'PERVERT', 'IDIOT', etc?

This isn't addressed to the OP who apparently knew the person he was writing about, but why don't we bother to get to know the person before we start moving onto D/s?

I find it rather difficult to communicate with anyone without what you disparagingly refer to as "labels"....  I'm a hetero male Dom - exactly how do I communicate that I'm interested in finding a hetero female submissive without "labelling" her as such?  It's all very well in r/l, I only hafta decide for myself which woman interests me enough to gravitate toward but online media requires *labels* to be understood.
 
And it could be reasonably argued that the OP didn't make use of enough "labels" before deciding for her that she was submissive....
 
Focus.

(in reply to stella40)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Spotting a sub - 5/12/2007 12:49:37 AM   
WorldTraveller7


Posts: 13
Joined: 9/2/2006
Status: offline 		Thanks for your input maftre. I am we all will like to hear the said experience (not so subtly one)

Be well.

(in reply to marfre)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Spotting a sub - 5/12/2007 12:51:52 AM   
WorldTraveller7


Posts: 13
Joined: 9/2/2006
Status: offline 		LOL , i will have to ask her on that one.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OhBeMyMind

~quickie~  
Perhaps the look of confusion was her wondering why you were spanking her instead of her spanking you......hey, it could be a possibility!


(in reply to OhBeMyMind)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Spotting a sub - 5/12/2007 12:54:56 AM   
WorldTraveller7


Posts: 13
Joined: 9/2/2006
Status: offline 		Excellent, we even tested out a suggested method.

I do not know about everyone else but I am having a blast reading all the responses to my post. Thank you all for replying.

WT7

quote:

ORIGINAL: adoracat

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Submissive?  Possibly, but that's up to her to explore about herself.  I find lots of young women respond to my "outrageous" commands when I'm in full flirt mode.  "Sit up straight girl, NO slouching", for eg, and as many snap to attention as the ones who just give me the "fuck off geezer" look in response.  I enjoy both but I remember the former more readily.
  
Focus. 


GAH!

i sat up straight when i read this.  *shakes head at self*  well i guess its pretty obvious which way i bend...

and yes, i know in *me*, anyone who is aware of their own Dominant nature would be able to tell which way i bend fairly easily.  but that's *me* and i dont claim to speak for anyone else.

kitten, who is easily amused at herself....


(in reply to adoracat)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Spotting a sub - 5/12/2007 12:59:42 AM   
WorldTraveller7


Posts: 13
Joined: 9/2/2006
Status: offline 		Stazia, I understand what you mean. I am a private person too and so are most people we come across in day to day life.

I posted the question on the boards just because it occured to me that I cannot be the only curious person around. Most other men and women would have a hidden side, like I do.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stazia

you know i was talking to a dom friend of mine the other night, and he told me that if he met me in a bar, or got set up with me on a blind "vanilla" date that he wouldn't think i was submissive at first.  it isn't a side of me that i show the general public.  however, he said that the more he talks to me gets to know me and the way my mind actually works he totally sees my submissive side now.  i am an extreemly privet person, and it takes a while to get to know the "real" me vs the mask that i wear for the general public.


(in reply to Stazia)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Spotting a sub - 5/12/2007 1:04:03 AM   
WorldTraveller7


Posts: 13
Joined: 9/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: farieanne

quote:

stella40  Why don't we make it easier for each other and wear signs on our foreheads - such as 'SUBMISSIVE', 'DOMINANT', 'INTELLECTUAL', 'PERVERT', 'IDIOT', etc?


ok. i have dibs on PERVERT!


I'm going to need a lot of labels in that case :-)

(in reply to farieanne)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Spotting a sub - 5/12/2007 1:27:13 AM   
MadameDahlia


Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline 		I tried going sub spotting once upon a time. One had begun to surface not too far off from my boat. And just when I thought I'd get a really good look... the Coast Guard showed up and demanded to know what I was doing so close to the naval base. 

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to WorldTraveller7)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Spotting a sub - 5/12/2007 9:04:22 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I find it a bit distressing that all these doms think that nearly all submissives will respond positively to specific tests.  Yes, these tests are innocuous for the most part and I don't doubt there is some rate of success- but I still think the premise as a whole is BS.

Just because someone decides to do something NICE for another person doesn't entail much about their personal relationship orientation.  They could be confused, they could just not wish to make a fuss, they could think there's some larger gain here if they just go along with it for the moment.

And heaven forbid they don't respond positively at all.  How often are subs told here they "aren't really a sub if they don't (insert ridiculous irrelevant thing the dom wants the sub to do)"? How is this any different from that?  Even if they are a sub, what if they don't respond to your little test on that particular day?  What if they just think you're weird?  Are you suddenly going to relegate them to the "not a sub" list forever?

I don't judge someone as a sub because they do nice things and can be gently coaxed into things, and I don't judge someone as a dom because they try and force their way into everything and can never let someone else help them out with something.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MadameDahlia)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Spotting a sub - 5/12/2007 9:28:18 AM   
szobras


Posts: 435
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline 		 If I meet woman that piques my interest, I may make a subtle comment in conversation, just for fun or to see where it goes. She may recognize me as someone of a Dominant nature, she may very well be a submissive.Unless her response is intended to show it, there may just be no interest in me to even further the subject.

(in reply to WorldTraveller7)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Spotting a sub - 5/12/2007 10:41:30 AM   
Masterdarkone26


Posts: 63
Joined: 8/13/2006
Status: offline 		something you might try is making suggestions and see what happens and if you get any perks out of her and if she reacts positively .. I have gotten a lot of girls involved and turned on to being submissive with just a few little phrases and a few things..

Give it a try...

(in reply to szobras)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Spotting a sub - 5/12/2007 10:54:52 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I find it a bit distressing that all these doms think that nearly all submissives will respond positively to specific tests.


Odd that you would get 'distressed over a thread' (A point I believe you have made to others in the past *g*)

IMO you are also reading wrong. I haven't seen anyone claim "If they don't then they are not a submissive" However We can get used to certain things that "a submissive who is compatable with and threfore reacting to, Them" will provoke a noticable reaction in.

If they don't then wether they are submissive or not, they are likely not to be compatable.


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Spotting a sub - 5/12/2007 2:18:53 PM   
simplyangelic1


Posts: 186
Joined: 6/14/2006
Status: offline 		You have to remember that not everyone who is submissive is lifestyle.  I know plenty of women who are extremely submissive to their husbands.  He runs the house, handles the money, makes all the major decisions yet aren't involved in BDSM.  So this person may very well be submissive in general, she just may not be into pain.

(in reply to WorldTraveller7)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Spotting a sub - 5/12/2007 2:30:12 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: farieanne

quote:

Archer 

Examples
look at them accross the table, tell them "Come here" with a waggle of the finger gesture.
Watch the way they do or do not comply with the direction.

"I would like you to (insert a pose or display that you like to see) for me."


hmmmmm................. ok is it just me or was think hot?


Nope. Not just you. It was hot.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to farieanne)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Spotting a sub - 5/12/2007 2:36:44 PM   
jayded34


Posts: 293
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveish

quote:

ORIGINAL: farieanne

quote:

Archer 

Examples
look at them accross the table, tell them "Come here" with a waggle of the finger gesture.
Watch the way they do or do not comply with the direction.

"I would like you to (insert a pose or display that you like to see) for me."


hmmmmm................. ok is it just me or was think hot?


Nope. Not just you. It was hot.


Nope not just you two.......It was hot!

_____________________________

You don't love a woman because she's beautiful,
She is beautiful because you love her.
~ by Anonymous ~

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
While loving someone deeply gives you courage.
~ by Lao Tzu ~

(in reply to slaveish)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Spotting a sub - 5/12/2007 2:38:00 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Here's a tip.... 
 
Instead of creating an atmosphere where she gets lost, confused and of even having to read your freakin' mind, how about discussing your kink intentions openly and honestly *BEFORE* acting them out!  You afraid she'd decline?
 
We call it COMMUNICATION.
 


Ditto

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Spotting a sub - 5/12/2007 2:50:16 PM   
astarri


Posts: 265
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jayded34

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveish

quote:

ORIGINAL: farieanne

quote:

Archer 

Examples
look at them accross the table, tell them "Come here" with a waggle of the finger gesture.
Watch the way they do or do not comply with the direction.

"I would like you to (insert a pose or display that you like to see) for me."


hmmmmm................. ok is it just me or was think hot?


Nope. Not just you. It was hot.


Nope not just you two.......It was hot!


definately hot

(in reply to jayded34)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Spotting a sub - 5/12/2007 3:25:57 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I find it a bit distressing that all these doms think that nearly all submissives will respond positively to specific tests.  Yes, these tests are innocuous for the most part and I don't doubt there is some rate of success- but I still think the premise as a whole is BS.

What premise would that be - that I enjoy a bit of lighthearted D/s flirting in a predominantly frustrating vanilla world?  Esp amongst my friends, I actually enjoy the negative responses when a mate's wife goes into disapproving feminist mode when I butt in with a spontaneous "can you girls keep it down, the men are talking!" comment.
 
No-one's conducting "tests" for Dom or sub here; there is no ulterior motive or agenda beyond merely looking for a reaction, ANY sort of reaction.  And no-one identifies me as a Dom when I do it but usually as the cliched male chauvinist pig - it's all good. Perhaps the best cure for distress is to lighten up a bit?
 
Focus.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Spotting a sub - 5/12/2007 6:02:51 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		But Focus, whatcha gon' do when said mate's wife climbs in your lap and humps you at the table?

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Spotting a sub - 5/12/2007 6:57:52 PM   
JJ33


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/3/2005
Status: offline 		shyinini  i think you hit cheek on target well done! JJ

(in reply to shyinini)
Profile   Post #: 60
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