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RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/14/2007 4:57:48 PM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
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quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes
If it was real time, we could actually slap and kick and pull hair and have a real down and dirty old catfight!!!

...in jello.

(in reply to windchymes)

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Post #: 181

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/14/2007 4:57:56 PM

darkinshadows

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Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
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It really doesn't matter what you think a clique is - it is what a clique is defined as. It isn't whether you agree with me or not - it's already defined. It isnt about getting people to agree with you - it is about a group that exists and who agree or have a common link.

It is a select group of people.

It is a group of people that excludes others.

It is a group of people with a common purpose.

(Oh and it's a graph)

Being a birdwatcher - is a clique.

Being a submissive, is a clique.

Being in a partnership with a dominant is a clique.

Being on CM is a clique.

So unless one is a hermit, everyone belongs to a clique if they participate in society(even as a hermit, you are in a clique, of being alone). You cannot take a word, and make it your own when the definition stands. Well, you can, but what would the point be, because then you are unable to communicate with others.

And communication is vital in BDSM and in society in general.

You can't take a thread and say you can post anything you want - You can speak your mind on a thread on CM only as far as the moderators allow it. This is their world. Whilst we are here, they are our gods and we are but tiny little flecks in their universe. We come - we go - sometimes we return - and are forever in a state of flux.

I know you wanted constructive ideas. And you were given them. The most wise being, let those you are singling out rant and rave and do their chasing. Speak up when you want. Ignore when they get you down.

But starting a thread that evolves and begins to point out those one has a grievance with via passive-aggressive behaviour, is nothing short of bullying on its own right. I know that you may not agree with me. I know you may not see what has occured. I know you may not want to step back and see how your thread developed into it's own clique. But it is there in some peoples eyes - even if it isn't seen by your beautful green ones.

Peace and Rapture

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...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

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Post #: 182

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/14/2007 5:52:42 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
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~fr~
Wow, I leave for a few hours and this thread has become passive-aggresssive heaven (or is that hell?)

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Post #: 183

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/14/2007 7:58:27 PM

DarkDreams123

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In reference to this post:

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=1011927

Greetings LaTigresse,

In trying to understand the essence of your post, it appears to me that you might be saying one of two things:

a) you think that velvetears's argument is wrong

or

b) you think that velvetears shouldn't tell other people what to do.

If a), then I have nothing to say to you.

If b), then I would say that you are guilty of the same.

"Just because you don't find someone else's behaviour appealing or right for YOU does not mean the rest of the world must conform..."

I trust you understand that this applies equally well to you.

Perhaps your "sharp stick" has points at both ends.

-DarkDreams

(in reply to LaTigresse)

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Post #: 184

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/14/2007 8:36:29 PM

kc692

Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

TOS explains that naming names thread is not allowed - agreed?

Well i am glad you brought that up. In one of the clique following threads 4 specific names were mentioned in a post, and those were not even a part of the drama thread being presented. They were just used as a sounding board for someone to throw a snarky comment about. They didn't even have the opportunity to defend themselves. i guess the mods missed it - like Dauric said they can't be everywhere. So much for leaving it up to the mods to handle.

That's why you have a report button sweets,,,,look at the bottom of this post and you see it right next to the post number. With all the posts flying every day, and the VOLUNTEER mods looking at all of them, you sound like a prime candidate to hit that report button to let them know. At least then you know they saw it and made a decision on it.

_____________________________

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This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

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Post #: 185

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/14/2007 8:42:45 PM

kc692

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears
i have seen similar things too - people asking for a fight, thats not what i am talking about. i don't want to repeat myself so i will direct you to my past posts - your an intelligent person i am sure you can figure it out.

See...with a little more practice you may be just as good as me. The more you write, the more your true colors show too.

I may need to get popcorn for this one after all!!!

Editted to add: I just find it getting funny.,.,,.,,,,,but should I bring jello instead? That sounds like even more fun!!!!

< Message edited by kc692 -- 5/14/2007 8:45:23 PM >

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

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Post #: 186

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/14/2007 8:49:21 PM

Kidsphoenixx

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clique-a-boom clique-a-boom
dontcha just love it...............

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Post #: 187

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/14/2007 9:57:32 PM

NeedToUseYou

Posts: 2297
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From: None of your business
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Well, I was going to read the whole thread, but all the drama started and distracted me. LOL.

Also I'm a guy, I have a penis and not a clique.

(in reply to velvetears)

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Post #: 188

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/14/2007 10:15:47 PM

kc692

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OMG I just spluttered tea, that was too funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(or should it be

in light of what you said???)

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to NeedToUseYou)

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Post #: 189

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/14/2007 11:23:29 PM

Marc2b

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There are so many subtle euphemisms being used in this thread that I’m still not one hundred percent sure what the hell is going on. Also, it’s way past my bed time and I may be having brain farts. Still, sometimes I feel like everybody is speaking in code and I don’t have the key.

Some thoughts on the subject (I think):

Some people do like to get bullied (in the cyber sense) and use this and other message boards to get their pseudo-masochistic fix. These people are easy to spot. They start threads like:

George Bush is the greatest President in the history of the United States.

Then they sit back and wait for the flaming to start. Those doing the flaming are getting a pseudo-sadistic fix. We can’t really judge how such people are when they are away from their computer. A person’s cyber personality often doesn’t jive with their real life personality. Such people are engaging in a essentially harmless endeavor – so let them have their fun. It is basically the cyber version of the Jerry Springer show. I don’t believe in out an out nastiness (and I’ve always hated Jerry Springer type shows) but if I believe the original poster to have a sense of humor, I might get in my own good natured rib poking now and then.

There is, however, some real bullying that goes on. Somebody makes a post in support of their general world view (some new statistic or report or something has just come out). There are those of differing opinions who respond with reasoned and civil arguments, but there are some who cannot seem to handle the idea that someone disagrees with their own world view – and the invective begins.

Where is the line between passionate advocacy and childish name calling? Well, that’s just one more thing people will disagree on. Each of us has to decide where to draw the line. Personally, I like to keep the line pretty high but I admit I am susceptible to name calling if I get a bug up my ass about something (aren’t we all?). It is as much for my own sense of self as well as the other guy’s feelings that I have my "back off/lighten up policy," but each of us has to find our own comfort level on the nice/nasty scale – and be prepared to live with other people’s resulting opinions about us.

Despite the wounded egos that can arise I think the internet, on the whole, is a good thing. Think about it for a moment. We have entered an era where the common people of different countries around the world can talk directly to each other. The power elites in government and media can be bypassed directly. The human race communicating with itself is a good thing. Even if we spend most of our time shouting at each other – it’s a start.

One last note: DarkDreams123, I love the Lord of the Flies reference – one of my favorite books.

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Post #: 190

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/15/2007 3:01:02 AM

swtnsparkling

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quote:

DarkDreams123
Greetings LaTigresse,
In trying to understand the essence of your post, it appears to me that you might be saying one of two things:
b) you think that velvetears shouldn't tell other people what to do.

If Anyone here reading this thread thinks what it's all about is B
then you are sorely mistaken and have not read objectively.

You may think the Op's agrument is wrong- alrighty then- You do - I don't so what big deal. But she is in no way telling anyone what to do. I am in agreement with her opening post. Just because I do agree - please don't waste your precious time trying to imply we are some sort of clique now ourselves. That is weak. I do beleive the cliques we speak of are the same members who have been joined at the hip for as long as I have been here and that is 3 years.

Have a Great Day

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RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/15/2007 4:41:52 AM

VeryMercurial

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Joined: 6/5/2006
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I agree swt, it appears that many people in cliques, are
getting their panties in a bunch over this thread.
If you don't like the OP no need to post, I think this thread is a great
example of the behavior the OP is pointing out.
ironic

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Post #: 192

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/15/2007 5:02:03 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: asubmissiveheart

velvetears, we all see it here. You are going to be put down because you
are calling the behavior out. Many of those posting here, ARE the drama seekers,
bullies and the people you are talking about.

Yes i assumed they would show up. If only to distract and cause the drama they so relish.

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Post #: 193

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/15/2007 5:03:09 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dauric

<Sigh>

A perfectly valid thread/question about how to construtively deal with people that offend you on the forums rather than becomes what you hate and...

Somebody, stop the world. I wanna get off.

$0.02,

Dauric.

Can i go to lol

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Post #: 194

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/15/2007 5:13:55 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

It really doesn't matter what you think a clique is - it is what a clique is defined as. It isn't whether you agree with me or not - it's already defined. It isnt about getting people to agree with you - it is about a group that exists and who agree or have a common link.

It is a select group of people.
It is a group of people that excludes others.
It is a group of people with a common purpose.
(Oh and it's a graph)

Being a birdwatcher - is a clique.
Being a submissive, is a clique.
Being in a partnership with a dominant is a clique.
Being on CM is a clique.

So unless one is a hermit, everyone belongs to a clique if they participate in society(even as a hermit, you are in a clique, of being alone). You cannot take a word, and make it your own when the definition stands. Well, you can, but what would the point be, because then you are unable to communicate with others.
And communication is vital in BDSM and in society in general.
You can't take a thread and say you can post anything you want - You can speak your mind on a thread on CM only as far as the moderators allow it. This is their world. Whilst we are here, they are our gods and we are but tiny little flecks in their universe. We come - we go - sometimes we return - and are forever in a state of flux.

I know you wanted constructive ideas. And you were given them. The most wise being, let those you are singling out rant and rave and do their chasing. Speak up when you want. Ignore when they get you down.
But starting a thread that evolves and begins to point out those one has a grievance with via passive-aggressive behaviour, is nothing short of bullying on its own right. I know that you may not agree with me. I know you may not see what has occured. I know you may not want to step back and see how your thread developed into it's own clique. But it is there in some peoples eyes - even if it isn't seen by your beautful green ones.

Peace and Rapture

i was the one who used to word clique so the definition as i see it should be the one you ascribe to it, whether or not i had the dictionary definition or not, and i have already told you what i meant by clique - you just want to be argumentative with me - so be it. BTW according to the dictionary even your definiton isn't proper

a group of people who are friendly with each other but exclude othersThat's just one of the definitions.

Irregardless i am done with this argument about what a click is and is not. i do not belong to any clique online or in rt for that matter. i join clubs, have menberships - i choose not to think of them as cliques. Clique to me carries negative connotations and it always will.

Think i am a bully i really could care less - you are entitled to think what you want. i think most here understand and know what my intentions were. Have a wonderful week.

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Post #: 195

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/15/2007 5:17:07 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692

That's why you have a report button sweets,,,,look at the bottom of this post and you see it right next to the post number. With all the posts flying every day, and the VOLUNTEER mods looking at all of them, you sound like a prime candidate to hit that report button to let them know. At least then you know they saw it and made a decision on it.

Thanks, i did indeed find that post and reported it.

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Post #: 196

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/15/2007 5:22:10 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

quote:

DarkDreams123
Greetings LaTigresse,
In trying to understand the essence of your post, it appears to me that you might be saying one of two things:
b) you think that velvetears shouldn't tell other people what to do.

If Anyone here reading this thread thinks what it's all about is B
then you are sorely mistaken and have not read objectively.

You may think the Op's agrument is wrong- alrighty then- You do - I don't so what big deal. But she is in no way telling anyone what to do. I am in agreement with her opening post. Just because I do agree - please don't waste your precious time trying to imply we are some sort of clique now ourselves. That is weak. I do beleive the cliques we speak of are the same members who have been joined at the hip for as long as I have been here and that is 3 years.

Have a Great Day

And the same nasty bunch will continue, perhaps with a little more self consciousness

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Post #: 197

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/15/2007 5:23:35 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VeryMercurial

I agree swt, it appears that many people in cliques, are
getting their panties in a bunch over this thread.
If you don't like the OP no need to post, I think this thread is a great
example of the behavior the OP is pointing out.
ironic

very ironic indeed, and trying to ascribe to me their own standards. i am glad you found value in the thread.

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Post #: 198

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/15/2007 6:01:05 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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quote:

quote:

If it was real time, we could actually slap and kick and pull hair and have a real down and dirty old catfight!!!

...in jello.

Mud, girls, mud!

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

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RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/15/2007 6:36:01 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
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From: UK
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I thought we were having a discussion. Obviously I was misinformed and you were only here for an argument. I apologise for assuming you were asking a genuine question in the O.P. and am now disappointed I fed your argument and your ability to point your chosen 'clique' out.

Your post - and point - is duely noted.

Have a wonderful day.

Peace and as always the Rapture.

_____________________________

.dark.