RE: A new idea?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: A new idea?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: A new idea?

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 [4]

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: A new idea? - 5/13/2005 9:01:25 PM

harmony3709

Posts: 292
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline

I agree that changes have to be made, absolutely. Both in the laws and in the way much of what we do is viewed in the eyes of the general public.

I am just not sure that making those changes should be compared to what was done to bring about change such as with the Civil Rights Movement. Although at some point in time, that may very well be a good example to follow and may be necessary to force changes in the law. I just don't think that at least right now it's going to be changed by things like burning bras or marching on Washington.

Although if anyone thinks that will work........I could certainly spare a few bras to toss on the fire, lol.

Be well,

harmony

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 61

RE: A new idea? - 5/14/2005 3:34:09 AM

Redb

Posts: 41
Joined: 1/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SmilinFSub

I was one of 3 women professionally surrounded by 15 men recently. They were from Asia, Africa, Germany and Iraq and I was the only American. I felt very oppressed and admitted VERY quickly to myself that my God was smiling on me when He allowed me to part of the USA.

Honestly...do what cha gotta do sexually but don't make me explain your needs to my kid / non-Americans. Think about the freedoms Non-Americans don't have b4 u exploit your "rights."

Oh my GOD are you on DRUGS ?????????

What on earth makes you think that living in the US is the bee all and end all of life. I LIVED in the US and got the hell out of there and back to Ireland at the earliest opportunity... lovely land of no guns, the right to free speech and to give a blowjob in ANY part of the country !! In fact, i would happily live in any country in the world than the US and i HAVE lived there so i'm making an educated opinion. The land where kids bring guns to school and your president is an idiot thats lost his village. The US is the laughing stock of the rest of the world... you should start to realise that !! Freedom... PAH !!!!!!1

(in reply to SmilinFSub)

Post #: 62

RE: A new idea? - 5/14/2005 3:45:44 AM

ElektraUkM

Posts: 309
Joined: 2/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

quote:

ORIGINAL: siamsa24
The version of nicer that exsists when people respect other people's levels of comfort and adjust their behavior to show courtasy for those levels.

For them to show courtesy for my level of comfort would mean not getting fluffed at all at the tshirts I enjoy wearing.

For me to show courtesy for their level of comfort would mean not wearing the tshirts I enjoy wearing.

Whose level of comfort should be attended to?

I'm probably not saying anything new here, as i'm coming to the thread late and haven't read it all, but...

Personally i'd say that you don't really need to wear those shirts, you just like wearing them. Well why do you like wearing them? Some people might say you like advertising what you do, you like showing you belong to something most people see as a bit risque, and so on... I mean, i can understand why you like doing it, but if its going to cause unnecessary headaches for parents or whatever, then I'd say people should keep their kinks to themselves a little.

~ Elektra

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 63

RE: A new idea? - 5/14/2005 3:53:45 AM

ElektraUkM

Posts: 309
Joined: 2/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dark~angel

quote:

But if we choose to live outside of the box, we should not have expectations that our personal choice is going to change society as a whole. We also have to accept the personal responsibility of our choices.

On Dec 1st 1955 a seamstress called Rosa Parks was traveling home and refused to give up her seat to a white man.
That incident helped begin a wonderful process - freedom.

Peace and Love

Just picking this post at random to say what i want in response to the idea of comparing pissing in public to Gay Rights or Racial Equality and so on.

There's an important (imho) difference here. And that is, that people like Rosa Parks were campaigning for acceptance of equality in behaving in perfectly publically-acceptable acts. Things like being able to use the same buses, or in the case of gays, being able to hold hands in public and do other things that heteros do.

Here, people are discussing their so-called 'rights' to piss in public, or kneel down in restaurants. The point is that no-one else does these things. Who are we attempting to gain equality with? Small children who can't wait to get home to pee..? Some things just aren't OK to do in public (at the moment) because society as a whole says no, for various reasons.

Now, i'm all for equality. But arguing that we have a right to do something that no other groups in society do seems a little bit excessive.

~ Elektra

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 64

RE: A new idea? - 5/14/2005 3:59:52 AM

ElektraUkM

Posts: 309
Joined: 2/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: harmony3709

The thing that occurred to me as I was reading through this thread was mainly the topic of comparing civil rights with WIITWD, public displays, etc. Civil rights, women's rights, gay rights, etc. are based on a segment of the population that are not being given the same rights as another segment of the population. In other words, they want the same rights that other people have. Whether it be to sit at the front of the bus, or vote or get married or live together without getting arrested or fired from your job. Although I will admit that that's a pretty simplified version.

I don't see WIITWD fitting into that concept. It's not as if men are free to publicly flog their submissives and women domiants are not. This is not a matter of asking for the freedom to do something that other people are already free to do. I think that makes it a bit more complicated than just challenging the general public's comfort level.

Be well,
harmony

Oopppssss.... yeah.

~ Elektra

(in reply to harmony3709)

Post #: 65

RE: A new idea? - 5/14/2005 4:28:34 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

If you read the enitre thread and all my comments, you will see that I don't compare wiitwd to civil rights and that I said (disclaimer)I do not see them as equal - but I was comparing a point.

Peace and Love

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to ElektraUkM)

Post #: 66

RE: A new idea? - 5/14/2005 5:35:54 AM

SmilinFSub

Posts: 42
Joined: 5/1/2005
Status: offline

ahem...no I am not on drugs. I am unsure why you are so selective in your reading and harsh in your response.

In other posts I stated EXACTLY what you said. The US is loosing credibility.

Our freedoms are gr8 but our national convictions are low.

I too have traveled extensively and may/not consider the USA 'the be all /end all.' The point here is.....IS THERE NO OTHER WAY A CIVALIZED SOCIETY CAN EXPRESS INDIVIDUALITY THAN BY PISSING IN PUBLIC? WHY NOT MAKE A POSITIVE CONTRIBUTION & MAKE THE USA 'LOOK GOOD'?

I agree the civil rights reference may not have been the best one. My whole point is.... controversial acts ostracize us (alternative life stylers). How can we ever be taken seriously? Or is that the point...we don't want to be an influentially strong sector of mainstream USA?

OH..as an FYI...Ireland is in my favorite countries list.

< Message edited by SmilinFSub -- 5/14/2005 8:01:22 AM >

(in reply to ElektraUkM)

Post #: 67

RE: A new idea? - 5/14/2005 7:00:23 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

Smilin

with your original post... and the point you just made(see above)... I think that a majority of people agree with you.

Everyone else -

However, as posts go - they often digress... (Doesn't help the thread when people don't read in its entirity and ....lol, I am sure I didn't help)... but the issue it digressed to has nothing to do with civil rights or sexuality. It has to do with the freedom of expression.

Now I am sure that wearing a t-shirt with slogans on in public that support BDSM or any type of kink can be seen as not so nice for people who don't practise kink. But that is in everyday life - regardless of kink...

Football
Political
che guevara
canabis emblems
fcuk
coca cola

All the conotations that link any advertised shirt is the same - personal choice and whether your 'forcing' it onto everyone else.
Why are BDSM SHIRTS ANY DIFFERENT?

(AGAIN- digressing from the topic... so just ignore this part of the post iffin you desire)

Nobody is comparing civil rights movement with BDSM(sexually or otherwise) - now that just trying to alter peoples perceptions on what is said by picking and choosing the words to fit your own response - it happens... But what is being said is that why don't we have the right to kneel in public? It was said

quote:

Here, people are discussing their so-called 'rights' to piss in public, or kneel down in restaurants.The point is that no-one else does these things.

Thing is - they do!
I have to contend with people who have no thought of others in polluting my air with their smoking. I have to put up with the site of people wearing gucci. I have to put up with adverts on TV for multinational coroprations that are literly raping this earth of ours and our own pockets. I have to turn away when a mother lets their child relieve themself because they can't be bothered to take them to the toilet - (and nooooooo I am not comparing that to pissing in public - but i am comparing the rights of people to have to witness that) People kneel in public because of religions, or social reasons, but we aren't allowed because its somehow 'wrong'... we are ridiculed unjustly if someone hears someone say 'Sir'.... stared at because we have facial piercings(yes, I know thats not kink related specifically) or collars around our necks. Discusted because we are wearing a beautiful £500 hand made corset that covers every body part but accentuates a tight waist. And above all - we can't even practise our kinks in private without the possible intevention of outside sources because we are 'abusing each other'. So yes, we should stand up proudly and say - damn, I kinky and proud - because its about me and my choice. I am not weird. I am not socially psycotic, or just an exhibitionst, or a predator, or an abuse victim, or a danger to society, or in the same league as a paedophile. I am me - and theres nothing anyone can do to change that - accept me as I am. I accept you, even if I don't understand coz we are ALL UNIQUE.

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 68

RE: A new idea? - 5/14/2005 7:15:58 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

*what she said*

When does it become a case of THEIR idea of whats right imposing on MY idea of whats right? Why shouldn't parents take the opportunity to teach tolerance and understanding of other ideas and cultures?

Oh I'm sorry, the parents didn't get consent from the rest of the world as to when their children would have to start dealing with the real world? Well IMO the moment you give them access to the real world by tuning on a TV, taking them out in public, you're pretty much saying "I'm prepared to help my child deal with life."

Do I think that means we should be pressing parents to teach their kids about everything the world has to offer the moment they walk out the door? No. But when the opportunity DOES come, and it will, take it for what it is. An opportunity.

Do I think every kinky person needs to shout their kink everywhere? Not at all. It's a very personal choice how and where and when you come out. But I certainly don't find it wrong and offensive to be a slave, to express polyamory, and to enjoy myself in what I consider reasonable ways.

Others will obviously disagree with me, that's fine. It won't change what I do.

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 69

RE: A new idea? - 5/14/2005 8:12:06 AM

SmilinFSub

Posts: 42
Joined: 5/1/2005
Status: offline

I absolutely agree that kids need to be exposed to different life styles and the world needs to be discussed FROM MY POINT OF VIEW. Geez...my kids travel A LOT bc I do not want (excuse me for saying this) them to grow up myopic, midwestern thinkers.

PLEASE SAVE THE HATE MAIL / RESPONSES. I GREW UP HERE AND AM NOT KNOCKING ANYONE.

Kneeling is not controversial, nor are tee shirts. The controversy I am trying to address (that I tell my liberal-minded children and close-minded Mom) is when in "Rome do as the Romans do."

When in the right setting..have AT It.

Don't be so insecure of who you are that you need to shout it at inopportune times. Consider my all- time favorite quote (from a dear friend).

"The loudest voice is a whisper."

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 70

RE: A new idea? - 5/14/2005 8:25:35 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

So yes, we should stand up proudly and say - damn, I kinky and proud - because its about me and my choice.

*sorry angel but I just gotta*

There is nothing wrong at all with being proud. There is a difference though in being proud and shoving it in somone's face. I am pretty proud of my clit hood and nipple piercings but I don't need to go around flashing my gash or my tits to passerbys on the street to feel proud.

We can all have our choices....and every right to have them...but we do have to remain respectful of the choices of others too. I was once in a public family park having a picnic with my children. There were many other families there and lots of little ones running around. Two boys pulled in and parked their car. They were listening to rap music on their stereo....very, very loud. The lyrics were....well basically the "F" word with a couple other words thrown in here and there for good measure. Parents were getting upset....and I overheard one father saying something to the effect of ripping their speakers out.

I walked up to the boys car and very politely explained to them that while I completely understood their right to listen to whatever it is they chose...that some of the lyrics were not really appropriate for the little ones in earshot. I asked them very politely if they would please turn it down to a less audible level outside of their vehicle. I also mentioned that the other parents were getting ready to publicly lynch them.

The boys were very pleasant and immediately complied. One of them even said that he understood and had just not thought about it and had a young brother who he would not want someone else to subject to such a thing either. I thanked them profusely and all was well.

Sometimes you really do get more flies with honey. I could have taken the "in your face" approach with those boys and I am sure that their response would have been "in your face back at ya!". "In your face" only serves to put other people in a defensive position, and no one is going to educate or enlighten anyone who strikes that pose.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 71

RE: A new idea? - 5/14/2005 9:02:35 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

quote: EmeraldSlave2
Do I think every kinky person needs to shout their kink everywhere? Not at all.

quote:

quote: SmilinFSub

Don't be so insecure of who you are that you need to shout it at inopportune times.

quote:

quote: mistoferin
"In your face" only serves to put other people in a defensive position, and no one is going to educate or enlighten anyone who strikes that pose.

quote:

quote: dark~angel

I wouldn't advocate walking around naked to walmart - or pissing in my pants in the middle of a meal.

Hey - aint it great when we all agree - lol. Even if its from different stand points...

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to SmilinFSub)

Post #: 72

RE: A new idea? - 5/14/2005 12:01:36 PM

onceburned

Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SmilinFSub

I believe if you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. I am sick of watching the USA loose credibility in International arenas. (I work in Europe 4 months a year). One of the most common beliefs there is that Americans are self-satisfying, non- partriotic cowards who have had tooooo much freedom and not enough accountability.

This quote is from earlier in the thread and I let it slide because it seemed the thread was losing focus. But you have brought up the topic again so, I guess I will speak up this time.

I have not been in Europe, but I do correspond with people who live there and I read the news. My sense is that Europeans tend to see Americans as nationalistic and too quick to resort to violence - either personal or military.

Do Europeans consider Americans to be overindulgent? I haven't ever heard that. Nor have I heard the average American described as irresponsible.

I am curious what kind of standard do you want us Americans to stand for?

Pissing in public is a matter of public health and sanitation. As for kneeling in restaurants I think this is matter for the management of the restaurant to decide whether it is acceptable. And if a couple want to refer to each other as Master and slave in public it seems that this is a personal choice. I also think they will bear a social cost if the people around them disapprove. But it is their right to choose.

(in reply to SmilinFSub)

Post #: 73

RE: A new idea? - 5/14/2005 1:20:06 PM

ElektraUkM

Posts: 309
Joined: 2/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dark~angel

If you read the enitre thread and all my comments, you will see that I don't compare wiitwd to civil rights and that I said (disclaimer)I do not see them as equal - but I was comparing a point.

Peace and Love

Yes, sorry it sounded like i was arguing with you. I said that i was just picking your post at random because it was dealing with that topic.

editing to say that i'm in the UK. Still don't want to see anyone pissing in public. Thing is about 'public' is that you're talking public and not 'outdoors'... Public implies someone is watching, and if that person isn't UP for it... then you're shoving something they don't want to see, don't need to see, in their face. In fact, you're using the fact they're there as part of your kink. Where's the consensuality in that?

~ Elektra

< Message edited by ElektraUkM -- 5/14/2005 1:28:01 PM >

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 74

RE: A new idea? - 5/14/2005 1:36:20 PM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

As for kneeling in restaurants I think this is matter for the management of the restaurant to decide whether it is acceptable

Ach chris - always rely to you to state the obvious - thank you!

Peace and Love

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to onceburned)

Post #: 75

RE: A new idea? - 5/14/2005 1:53:37 PM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

editing to say that i'm in the UK. Still don't want to see anyone pissing in public. Thing is about 'public' is that you're talking public and not 'outdoors'... Public implies someone is watching, and if that person isn't UP for it... then you're shoving something they don't want to see, don't need to see, in their face. In fact, you're using the fact they're there as part of your kink. Where's the consensuality in that?

*waving to you from the UK*

I totally agree - unfortunately the thread kind of digressed from the original OP(like posts do) and I was also responding to other queries also.

There are practises that would not be appropriate for display in a public place with non consensual individuals present or in public places where certain things are not welcome - peeing could be deemed one of those practises - smoking in a nursery is another. These are commen sense - and no one here is advocating doing anything like that.

But wearing a collar and leash? Cross dressing? Calling someone 'my pet'? The reality is, these shouldn't offend. They aren't sexual for all - they are who and what people are. T-shirts? I have to contend with clothing that I wouldn't choose to see, and explain what they mean to my children - thats the responsible thing to do.

Peace and Love

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to ElektraUkM)

Post #: 76

RE: A new idea? - 5/14/2005 2:18:52 PM

ElektraUkM

Posts: 309
Joined: 2/19/2005
Status: offline

Well i have to say i love the idea of collar and leash in public. Also have to say that i think most people would just think we were nuts tho. lol. Not sure that stuff like that does anything to raise the profile of BDSM positively... If that's what we're arguing for here. I suppose there are just too many reasons for doing this stuff in public for me to work out a catch-all answer at this time of night.

I thought someone way up there at the top of the thread WAS advocating pissing in public tho.

~ Elektra

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 77

RE: A new idea? - 5/14/2005 2:44:45 PM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

smiling -

I TOTALLY have to apologise. I didn't see your questions to me in this post - ach - I totally missed them. So I am endeavouring to respond now. I wasn't meaning to be rude. Forgive me?

quote:

What bothers me most about your young friend being assualted and my friend's kid is the fact that both of them had different ends of the information spectrum and they both were powerless.

Your friend thru lack of info and my gf's kid making powerless decisions. Do you really think a 15 yo girl is mature enough to make decisions like this? The brain is physiologically not developed until after 20 and she doesn't need guidance?

Don't you have regrets from your youth? How well rounded is she to be if she is not directioned?

Do you have kids DA?

When I was 15, I would say I could make that decision. I made decisions about my sexuality. I decided not to have sex. It wasn't that I couldn't, but I chose not to. Not because of any religious convictions. Not because of fear. Not because I wasn't sexually minded and didn't want to (believe me, I was gagging) But because I was aware of the consequences. I understood about STDS, pregnancy, aware that even though my friends were sexually active, i didn't have to be because I didn't have to follow anyones expectations but my own. I was pushed, pressured... but I still chose to abstain. I can't say that every 15 year old can make that choice mentally - but I have worked with street kids - i grew up with my peers and I know that given the information correctly, responsibly and maturely - they responded in kind. I think its terribly sad when a 15 year old has to sit down with a group of her friends and explain the birds and the bees because they are saying crap like ''you can't get pregnant the first time''...

As for brains not being mature psycologically - I don't know about that(I have never seen medical documentation to say such). But I know some bloody ignorant and naive 40 year olds and some incredibly grounded and wise 20 year olds.

Do I have regrets from my youth?
None.

Direction? No - Options and knowledge of her responsibility? Yes.

Do I have kids? Nope - I am a woman, not a goat ...lol...

I do have two beautiful children.

Again, sorry for not answering sooner.

Peace and Love

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to SmilinFSub)

Post #: 78

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 [4]

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: A new idea?

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 [4]

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.093