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sooo many.... - 5/10/2005 3:23:22 PM

sexysubbunny

Posts: 145
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- about a Master who has 3 or 4 subs.......
just how long or are there any statistics known of how long might a relationship last whom has 3 or 4subs.......?
does this kind of relationship happen alot or is it ofter heard of to have so many subs..??
and why would a Master want that many ??
how can he provide all that the subs need and want and give them each equal time and support??
i am very curious to hear of anyone knowing this kind of situation and if its workable for a long period of time?
would one think, one or two of the subs might tire of trying to get the Masters time and attention over the others and if one is the alpha?
this is amazing and i really wonder just how this works or if it does?

thank you so much!!

< Message edited by sexysubbunny -- 5/10/2005 3:27:30 PM >

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RE: sooo many.... - 5/10/2005 3:38:32 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
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It probably would work in the short term. As far as statistics I doubt they exist.

I think I'd call him a top though not a master. My dom is the first to admit he could not handle more than one of me. Being a dom takes a lot of responsibility. Then it also depends how deep they are into it.
If for mere sex...why not a dozen? Then again kinky sex is not the lifestyle...it is all encompassing.

All poly relationships I have ever known the maximum they have lasted before violent break up was 3 year's.
However, people have had poly relationship in Utah for hundred's of year's and they make them work.

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RE: sooo many.... - 5/10/2005 3:47:03 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
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This probably belogns in the poly section, but ok.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexysubbunny

- about a Master who has 3 or 4 subs.......
just how long or are there any statistics known of how long might a relationship last whom has 3 or 4subs.......?

No statistics of course, but lets say I know some poly families that have lasted over a decade, the Owners being one of them. He has been with his primary and another sub for over a decade and while there have been several other relationships come and go, they remain.

quote:

does this kind of relationship happen alot or is it ofter heard of to have so many subs..??

More than triad is not terribly common, but it's not unheard of certainly.

quote:

and why would a Master want that many ??

The nature of polyamory- you form relationships with multiple people, theres no magic number limit.

quote:

how can he provide all that the subs need and want and give them each equal time and support??

Luck? Stable people? Stable situations? It's not about "equal" time and support, its about "necessary" time and support.

Of course when the "perfect storm" occurs, that's a sucky day for the Master, but you deal with it. It's all about the long term goals and if everyone is working towards them, then you're good.

quote:

i am very curious to hear of anyone knowing this kind of situation and if its workable for a long period of time?

As I always say- if you can imagine it, it exists.

quote:

would one think, one or two of the subs might tire of trying to get the Masters time and attention over the others and if one is the alpha?

Then one can imagine that those one or two subs would QUICKLY find themselves released from the relationship. Subs and slaves are there to HELP the Owner, to make his life EASIER, and if they accept what a poly relationship means, if they accept those expectations and responsibilities, then they need to live up to them.

Sometimes I need a bit more attention, sometimes someone else needs a bit more attention. It's alla bout sorting priorities and working together.

I have to say I am curious- is this about your ex dom? I notice you posted about hopefully coming back into the relationship? After seeing all the drama about you being released, him finding another sub fairly quickly and then that, is something new going on that we could give specific advice on?

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RE: sooo many.... - 5/10/2005 4:02:46 PM

BobcatsLilMinx

Posts: 201
Joined: 4/8/2005
From: UK
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I've never understood how a man could give the necessary time and attention to 3 or more subs, and in my (admittedly short) experience of a poly lifestyle, I couldn't see how it was ever going to work. However, some people do make it work, therefore it must be possible.
I think it depends on all involved. I don't believe I'd do well in a poly relationship, but Emerald seems to love it! And I think some men can successfully own and master several girls... whereas some have trouble with just the one. Why would he want that many? SAme thing - it's all down to individual preference.

Minx

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RE: sooo many.... - 5/10/2005 4:19:34 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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LOL I get asked to draw a diagram of my relationships sometimes.

You have the Owner, he lives with his primary. He has a sub in NYC who he has been with for over a decade (he used to live in NYC and they all lived together for awhile). He has a sub in Boston who he has been with for about 3 years. He has me who he has been with about a year and a half. He has other people he talks with, dates, occasionally visits, etc.

I won't go into the Primary's, NYC or Bostons other relationships because I not only don't know about all of them, but it's their business to share.

I have a partner in Boston I've been with about a year who happens to be the Owners Bostons sub's husband. I have a boyfriend I've been with since Sept who lives near me now and we see eachother often but who will be moving to TX over the summer for graduate school. I have a regular partner in VA who I've been with since November and someone else I've recently started to regularly date.

And a bunch of people I will play occasionally with.

This is just how we are- non fidelitous poly. It can work.

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RE: sooo many.... - 5/10/2005 4:29:32 PM

timorous

Posts: 60
Joined: 4/7/2005
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quote:

how can he provide all that the subs need and want and give them each equal time and support??

Of course this is possible..... if he can provice for one, he can provide for more than one.

You ask how he can give each equal time..... because you think that that is what is needed. But that isn't true. A sub doesn't need the same amount at the other/s.... just enough to fill her needs.... It may be as little as an hour and a half per week. And another sub may need 20 times that. Many people have grown up thinking that the only way for something to be fair if for everyone to get equal amounts but that is simply not true.

I've been a sub to a Master with two other subs and it was great and I loved that he got to enjoy them and got so much from his time with them. It made him a better man.

And I've also lived in a 24/7 poly relationship with a Master and one other sub. I was the slave. The thing is... I got my satisfaction from my service... NOT from the time alone that I had with him. So you see...

The thing is.... we each come to the table, as it were, with a differing set of ultimate needs and if we can each realise them within the relationship, and ideally because of the relationship then it is working for everyone.

It it possible.

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RE: sooo many.... - 5/10/2005 4:40:54 PM

stormsfate

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Joined: 2/1/2005
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Well, its kinda like a parent who has more than one child. If you have three or four, does that mean they aren't all loved and given love and affection? Old and tired analogy, I know, but so is the question <grin>

quote:

I have to say I am curious- is this about your ex dom? I notice you posted about hopefully coming back into the relationship? After seeing all the drama about you being released, him finding another sub fairly quickly and then that, is something new going on that we could give specific advice on?

I thought she said she was glad she was out of that relationship and had found someone else that was her "real dom"? <shrug> I can't keep up apparently.

best regards,
fate

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