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Your thoughts on Dominant attire... - 5/15/2007 11:05:45 AM

MistressMonet2u

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Joined: 5/5/2005
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After reading a post on outfits I thought about something and I'd love to know your thoughts.

I had a discussion with a sub friend of mine who said "I've never seen you in what most would consider fetish attire". I thought about it for a long time and finally said, "I wear the clothes I love, that suit my body and mood and I rail hard against the "norm" of bdsm". Far too often society frames us, all leather clad and corsetted, which is nice when YOU want to do it. My skin bruises easily and the last time I put on a corset when I returned home I looked like I had been beaten...LOL! Don't get me wrong, I will "fetish" once in a while, but do you ever attend parties in just your "normal" clothes? Or do you decide not to go to a party because you dont wanna dress up?

-=M=-

_____________________________

"Tonight livin' in a fantasy my own little nasty world...tonight don't cha wanna me, do you think I'm a nasty girl..." -=Vanity6=-

RE: Your thoughts on Dominant attire... - 5/15/2007 12:31:09 PM

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It's the person who makes the clothes and not the other way around. A Domme, doesn't need a black corset for a submissive male to pick up on her aura.

- pixel

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Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to MistressMonet2u)

RE: Your thoughts on Dominant attire... - 5/15/2007 12:37:45 PM

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I'm actually selling my thigh high boots this Saturday at our garage sale because I won't wear them any more; maybe someone will.

I've never had a corset, never will.

I'd rather wear velvet or suade rather than leather.

I'd rather be barefoot than wear heels of more than half an inch.

In fact, while I'm rather androgynous in every day life, I tend to be more femme when we go to munches and to bdsm conventions dressing in long skirst and lacy tops or tanks often. Even then I won't wear make-up or heels; wish I could find combat style boots that fit my strange feet (odd like hike up on top of each probably from years of wearing special shoes my parents couldn't afford to replace as often as needed).

Of course, in private I'm more likely to be in a t-shirt and bike shorts or naked for SM.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MistressMonet2u)

RE: Your thoughts on Dominant attire... - 5/15/2007 1:21:56 PM

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If I am going to dress up in what I'd say was the norm for Domme wear its usually because I'm either A I mean business and want a serious full on session or B cos i know it turns my boy on and I love seeing his face when I wear it. And the only reason I do A is becasue sometimes if i particually want to get my point across to him about something BDSM related he usually pays more attention and we are serious if I'm in that get up. I find its a bit like when I put make up on, If I look good I feel good. If I dress up like that I feel just what I look like.
But in all honestly I would much rather wear somthing cute and sexy or normal and usually do.
As pixel says its the person that makes the clothes. I think one of the best times thats sticks in my mind for weird outfits while bondaging is a pair of knee high stripey pink and black socks , a pair of waist high pants (period pants i cal them lol) and a tshirt that says I love to score thats bright red ha ha. It was a cold night and they were the first things I found to keep warm. Afterwards we were laughing at how silly I'd looked while telling her off. That was back in the day when I had an occasional femsub I used to like her in a mans suit and tie

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RE: Your thoughts on Dominant attire... - 5/15/2007 1:41:49 PM

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Joined: 11/28/2006
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Frankly your Dominant whether you wear typical fetish clothing or not. Your Dominant personality, desires and tendencies are what makes you such.

Personally I wear what I desire to wear not what someone else think's I should wear because Im Dominant. Fetish wear is sexy but it's also restrictive, hot and frankly uncomfortable. In the end all it actually does is feed the fantasy and I have no need to do so. So privately I usually go barefooted and whatever I find comfortable that day. At munches/parties which unfortunately I rarely get to go to these days, I do dress up but my focus is still on being comfortable.

MsPatty

(in reply to MistressMonet2u)

RE: Your thoughts on Dominant attire... - 5/15/2007 2:07:07 PM

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love it! for going out. Around the house I want to be comfy and able to manuver since I don't have a dungeon where things are higher and placed just so.... I rely on beds, floors and chairs. *bending in a long line corset is nearly impossible*

When I'm out....I love to dress. I love the looks, the comments, the way I feel, and of course the feel and smell of the leather! I clean up pretty damn well....so that's fun for me.

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D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

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RE: Your thoughts on Dominant attire... - 5/15/2007 2:53:53 PM

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I have scened at Beat Me in St. Louis wearing a blouse, jeans and *slippers* becasue my feet were killing me after all the walking I had done that day. My typical attire is jeans, a blouse and non-fetish boots. Every once in a great while I will wear something that is considered fetish though I must say that it does not stay on long <laughing> becasue unless it is as comfy as my jeans and blouse it has to go <laughing> I do not feel more powerful in fetish clothing infact I fell less powerful in the sense that it feels to me that I am being used for eye candy rather than fully appreciated for who I am. I can get a man's or woman's sexual attention without what I often think of as "pimping myself out" in fetish clothing. In addition, like you I rail against expectations of others. I rememebr a time when I heard someone say... "A FemDom should never dress in a way that is known to be a submissive style of dress like a school girl uniform." The next play party I went to with that person there, I strutted in wearing pig tails, a school girl skirt & top and some sweet paten leather MaryJanes with knee socks> I proceeded to scene the night away and had a blast. The look on the persons face was "priceless" becasue I knew that the person equated clothing with dominant or submissive which I find utterly silly. I do not bode well being told what I can and cannot do or what I can and cannot wear! In the end it is a personal choice but for me, I will wear what is comfy to me at the time! I must say though that I do have a bit of a boot fetish. I have a lot of boots and even fetish ones though I never actually walk in my fetish boots as I simply sit down and go into boot worhip followed by foot worship.

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(in reply to MistressMonet2u)

RE: Your thoughts on Dominant attire... - 5/15/2007 2:55:28 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TigressFL

I have scened at Beat Me in St. Louis wearing a blouse, jeans and *slippers* becasue my feet were killing me after all the walking I had done that day. My typical attire is jeans, a blouse and non-fetish boots. Every once in a great while I will wear something that is considered fetish though I must say that it does not stay on long <laughing> becasue unless it is as comfy as my jeans and blouse it has to go <laughing> I do not feel more powerful in fetish clothing infact I fell less powerful in the sense that it feels to me that I am being used for eye candy rather than fully appreciated for who I am. I can get a man's or woman's sexual attention without what I often think of as "pimping myself out" in fetish clothing. In addition, like you I rail against expectations of others. I rememebr a time when I heard someone say... "A FemDom should never dress in a way that is known to be a submissive style of dress like a school girl uniform." The next play party I went to with that person there, I strutted in wearing pig tails, a school girl skirt & top and some sweet paten leather MaryJanes with knee socks> I proceeded to scene the night away and had a blast. The look on the persons face was "priceless" becasue I knew that the person equated clothing with dominant or submissive which I find utterly silly. I do not bode well being told what I can and cannot do or what I can and cannot wear! In the end it is a personal choice but for me, I will wear what is comfy to me at the time!

(in reply to TigressFL)

RE: Your thoughts on Dominant attire... - 5/15/2007 3:14:00 PM

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Joined: 6/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TigressFL

I have scened at Beat Me in St. Louis wearing a blouse, jeans and *slippers* becasue my feet were killing me after all the walking I had done that day. My typical attire is jeans, a blouse and non-fetish boots. Every once in a great while I will wear something that is considered fetish though I must say that it does not stay on long <laughing> becasue unless it is as comfy as my jeans and blouse it has to go <laughing> I do not feel more powerful in fetish clothing infact I fell less powerful in the sense that it feels to me that I am being used for eye candy rather than fully appreciated for who I am. I can get a man's or woman's sexual attention without what I often think of as "pimping myself out" in fetish clothing. In addition, like you I rail against expectations of others. I rememebr a time when I heard someone say... "A FemDom should never dress in a way that is known to be a submissive style of dress like a school girl uniform." The next play party I went to with that person there, I strutted in wearing pig tails, a school girl skirt & top and some sweet paten leather MaryJanes with knee socks> I proceeded to scene the night away and had a blast. The look on the persons face was "priceless" becasue I knew that the person equated clothing with dominant or submissive which I find utterly silly. I do not bode well being told what I can and cannot do or what I can and cannot wear! In the end it is a personal choice but for me, I will wear what is comfy to me at the time! I must say though that I do have a bit of a boot fetish. I have a lot of boots and even fetish ones though I never actually walk in my fetish boots as I simply sit down and go into boot worhip followed by foot worship.

Great post Tigress, I am basically the same way.
I wear whatever I feel like wearing, when its warm, shorts or whatever.
I like to feel comfortable and cute.
I dress according to how I feel and where I am going.
If it is a fetish event, I like a sexier look.
If I am at home, I can be very Dominant in a nightshirt and fuzzy slippers.

(in reply to TigressFL)

RE: Your thoughts on Dominant attire... - 5/15/2007 3:37:32 PM

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I do love the fetish stuff....especially the stuff that shows off my cleavage :-). I can do that with a bustier, I can do that with a low cut top or tank top. And when I do wear the stuff it is not to feed anyone's fantasy but mine (I have a serious leather fetish). Having said that I must also admit I have attended parties in jeans and silky top and still had 'em asking me to be allowed to serve me or would I please flog them.

A hot, together, confident, mature femdom looks smoking in anything she wears.

(in reply to MistressMonet2u)

RE: Your thoughts on Dominant attire... - 5/15/2007 3:39:59 PM

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I live in Mississippi and i wear shorts and a tank top almost year round. I once dressed up to go into New Orleans and had a terrible time as I sweated my butt off, not to mention I was so miserable I missed a really good time. Never again.

(in reply to VeryMercurial)

RE: Your thoughts on Dominant attire... - 5/15/2007 3:46:22 PM

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I agree, unless I am being paid to be in a photo shoot or as a fetish model,
I am going to dress for style and comfort.
What fun is it to spend the night dressed uncomfortably?

(in reply to Halley)

RE: Your thoughts on Dominant attire... - 5/15/2007 6:55:37 PM

MzMia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VeryMercurial

I agree, unless I am being paid to be in a photo shoot or as a fetish model,
I am going to dress for style and comfort.
What fun is it to spend the night dressed uncomfortably?

I also dress to suit myself, If I want to dress up, I will, if I want to wear
jeans and a T-shirt, I will.
When it comes to day-to-day real life everyday after a full day of work,
Dominant wear? A short nightgown and comfy slippers work best for me.
Now where is my whip that matches these slippers?

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to VeryMercurial)

RE: Your thoughts on Dominant attire... - 5/15/2007 7:59:59 PM

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Dear MistressMonet2u, Ladies and Gentlemen;

I wish to submit for consideration, that Fetish is not necessarily considered the same as Dominatrix Classic 'uniform' like attire and or traditional.

In the salad days of BDSM, women really did not have much to choose from as far as scene garments. Those available catered to sexy slut, French maid and neon sign advertising the sex in leather and or other garments. It wasn't anything average women can really fit into then. Now days there is more selection and markets run by women who finally hear what women have to say.

In my mind's eyes I see, any attire I wear is my uniform. I will wear black for dungeon functions and or parties, conventions, presentations and the like. Black is classic and has roots in history past and not so long ago. I wear my Black as to honor those who came before me and honor those today, as well as to present myself clean, neat/tidy and in a state of dress that is comfortable and proper for that function.

In my mind's eyes I see, we always place ourselves in a manner for public consumption. First impressions speaks much but, not how one carries themselves, such as manners, speach and presence.

It is true, that clothing does not really affect the Dominant Woman's power and presence. It is the woman who maintains a steady course in manners, attitude and good ethical ways--For herself first, others after.

Comfort is very important, especially for aging Dominant women as I.
My body is now in pain with arthritis and to perform as a Domina I may have to cater more to the pain I have and to be as comfortable as possible. But, I will not be sloppy and wear knickers that are hole filled, filthy and not fit to be seen by family, friends and or the general public.

It is not the clothing that creates the persona -- it is the power of grace with class that creates my uniform.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to MistressMonet2u)

RE: Your thoughts on Dominant attire... - 5/15/2007 8:00:27 PM

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From: Austin, TX
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To me, fetish attire is not so important for play itself. I do appreciate appearance and an attractive appearance comes in many outfits including everyday clothes one wears at home. However, I think fetish attire does have potential to enhance the energy of participation or otherwise add to what each person is contributing to the scene. I have sometimes been asked to dress in fetish clothing for play. And I sometimes have dressed in a way that enhanced the role and added to the ambience.

I have known dommes to say that fetish attire helps them feel more powerful and confident--as an interview candidate might when dressed in a suit--or otherwises enhances their mindset or space. I think fetish attire carries value for a domme who does feel this way.

There is room for perspective for how to feel about wearing fetish attire. I don't think it has to be seen as a way to serve subs. To the extent one might see fetish attire as attractive, I think it is no different than dressing in what might be considered attractive in social situations in general. I think dressing in an attractive outfit serves that person most.

I appreciate the value of fetish clothes most at BDSM events. I enjoy dressing in fetish outfits when I go to such events and appreciate it when others do the same. The analogy I use is that of halloween. A halloween party has a greater collective energy when participants dress in spirit of the occasion. I appreciate this collective energy of participation in general: live sporting events, a dance floor where many are dancing, etc.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 5/15/2007 8:04:12 PM >

(in reply to MzMia)

RE: Your thoughts on Dominant attire... - 5/15/2007 8:05:34 PM

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Joined: 12/10/2006
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leather and a leather cap.

(in reply to MistressMonet2u)

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