Learning through slavery

Learning through slavery (Full Version)

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daisyrocket -> Learning through slavery (5/15/2005 6:25:51 PM)
It is more difficult than I thought, that is for sure. I hadn't realized that giving up all control means just that, ALL control! You suddenly find little specks that you didn't know exsisted. Yet somehow you must find it in yourself to let it go, to part with it. As the training moves from just an 'idea' to a more harsh reality the old saying rings true, "It gets harder before it gets easier." But with determination I will find may through this. I had not been a good 'proto-slave' as Sir calls me. I was only focused on what I felt were my neglected needs rather than his. Oh, I was upset by this statement at first. As a result, I got defensive making the situation worse. He was right though. I must stop thinking only of myself. It is he who comes first and that is what I should always focus on. Following is a snip of something I sent him earlier. Again, I am ever thankful for his patience with me. The mantra I have taped to my mirror in the bathroom, "Abandon the control that fear allows you to have over your slavery", suddenly brings new meaning to me. Apparently I have more fear than I thought I did. The light she (a friend) has shed and what I must do will be VERY difficult. But I vow to you that I will do my best to give that control to you. 1. I must stop thinking of only myself and whether or not I am being validated. 2. I must stop questioning you about what you are doing and why. Rather I need to just let go and trust in the decisions you make. 3. I must learn to keep my emotions in check. 4. I must never fight you or my submission to you ever again. 5. I will accept whatever you choose to mete out to me whether I like it or not because knowing that it pleases YOU is all that matters. That's it Sir. I offer myself to you to do as you wish. Break me and then mold me to your liking. Teach me to be the slave you want, the slave you will be proud of. Teach me my place, where I belong. Teach me humility in serving you. I will do my best to bring no more resistance. How can I be of service to you today Sir?

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Learning through slavery (5/15/2005 7:20:49 PM)
For me it works best to realize that I can put the Owner and myself first together, there doesn't have to be an "either/or" formula in place.

junecleaver -> RE: Learning through slavery (5/15/2005 9:20:28 PM)
I whole heartedly agree with Emerald.

daisyrocket -> RE: Learning through slavery (5/15/2005 9:33:31 PM)
I'm sorry ladies..but what?

Lepidoptera -> RE: Learning through slavery (5/15/2005 9:45:45 PM)
It means that part of being submissive (at least for me) means taking pleasure in satisfying His/Her needs over my own- that I get satisfaction out of being selfish, so much that it in fact is really selfish : ).

daisyrocket -> RE: Learning through slavery (5/15/2005 10:08:27 PM)
Ok..again..I apologize..but that really doesn't make sense either. First you say a sub should take pleasure in satisfying (and I'm assuming you are refering to the dominant here by your capitalization) His needs. Well duh! I do take pleasure in satisfying Sir's needs. But then you go on to say that you get satisfaction by also being selfish. Selfish about what? Your own needs? That's pretty contradictory there. I don't really think that being a slave has anything to do with being selfish about one's own needs.

strongnsubmissiv -> RE: Learning through slavery (5/15/2005 10:12:49 PM)
quote: 5. I will accept whatever you choose to mete out to me whether I like it or not because knowing that it pleases YOU is all that matters. To each their own of course, and i'm sure the above statement can be taken out of context, but allow me to express an opinion if i may... When pleasing the other person is ALL THAT MATTERS as is stated above, i think we set a dangerous precident, which will eventually result in the undoing of the relationship. I think two people have to be mutually happy for the relationship to work, regardless of D/s and it's protocol. Pleasing our Top is a wonderful NEED that certainly is in many of us, but to say it's all that matters sounds a little unrealistic. By the same token, don't let anyone tell you that thinking about your own feelings makes you any less of a true submissive. In my opinion... we're all equal, just different. bent

daisyrocket -> RE: Learning through slavery (5/15/2005 11:12:18 PM)
Yes and I absolutely agree with you. You are reading it a bit too literally though. Of course that's understandable since I have only given you a 'part' of us in the OP. The point is that I will be making more of a conscious effort to accept my slavery and trust him more instead of letting my fear of the unknown future take control, and therefore, causing a struggle within my own mind that is not necessary. Another point is that I do trust him to handle me safely. I also trust him to take care of my needs. I am simply saying that in order to be rewarded as such, I need to stop focusing only on myself and rather focus on him. Does anyone actually remember their first attempt at slavery? It is difficult at first. For some of us, the only way to overcome that is to push harder. Once we know what is expected of us, it comes as easily as breathing.

strongnsubmissiv -> RE: Learning through slavery (5/16/2005 7:48:39 PM)
It certainly is strange daisy and i've been guilty of it for sure, but it's strange how things seem to sneak up on us and remind us how very little we do know about slavery. You can almost liken it to thinking back to when you were 18, and you were sure you knew all there was to know about life. It's not till years later that you realize, that although your heart may have been in the right place, there is always more to learn. I guess it's why keeping and open mind when it comes to D/s relationships might be key. I think it's good that you are asking yourself questions though, and probably integral to your growth. I'm sure your Master knows there is much learning to be had on both sides of the D/s fence. Room and patience to grow is always welcomed for sure. One thing that you did say, and i find it important to me, is validation. I wouldn't say that i constantly need validation, but it certainly is something i strive for i have to admit. Since you've been able to live as a slave, something which i haven't been able to fit into my life as of yet, have you found that the need for validation has waned? Do you think seeking it is a bad thing? Just like the 18 year old model, maybe i need to live it to see how it will play out for me. Btw... thanks for sharing... i'd love to hear more about your surprises and struggles... bent

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Learning through slavery (5/16/2005 8:17:18 PM)
Your relationship with your owner is likely to be a long term commitment. Ultimately people in long term commitments have to work towards EVERYONE getting their needs fulfilled. Life is about sorting priorities. Sometimes, by taking care of YOU, you will be taking care of HIM. Guess what? I refuse to be in a primary relationship I am not fulfilled. I refuse to not be myself. I choose to be in a relationship that will make ME as happy and fulfilled and even MORE than I ever thought I could. It just so happens that this relationship happens to involve me being owned property. You are a symbiotic relationship, if one is lacking, the whole relationship will be lacking. You must put both of you first.

BobcatsLilMinx -> RE: Learning through slavery (5/17/2005 2:37:37 PM)
quote: Life is about sorting priorities. Sometimes, by taking care of YOU, you will be taking care of HIM. A lot of people would argue that taking care of yourself is not the way to go about it - that instead, you should trust HIM to take care of you. That it is not your place to decide you need to take a berak from this, that or the other to give yourself some "you-time" - that by submitting, you place that responsibility to yourself in his hands too. What's your opinion on that..? Minx

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Learning through slavery (5/17/2005 3:43:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BobcatsLilMinx quote: Life is about sorting priorities. Sometimes, by taking care of YOU, you will be taking care of HIM. A lot of people would argue that taking care of yourself is not the way to go about it - that instead, you should trust HIM to take care of you. That it is not your place to decide you need to take a berak from this, that or the other to give yourself some "you-time" - that by submitting, you place that responsibility to yourself in his hands too. What's your opinion on that..? Minx The Owner expects me to make his life easier and take burdens from him. If he had to make sure I did the basic things to take care of myself that would make MORE work and stress for him that I certainly can handle on my own. I agree- it is exactly his choice as to how things will be managed in our relationship, and it is my duty to obey whatever he decides. He happens to decide that I need to take as much adult independent responsibility as I can.

BobcatsLilMinx -> RE: Learning through slavery (5/17/2005 3:58:05 PM)
Thanks [:D]

daisyrocket -> RE: Learning through slavery (5/17/2005 5:03:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: strongnsubmissiv One thing that you did say, and i find it important to me, is validation. I wouldn't say that i constantly need validation, but it certainly is something i strive for i have to admit. Since you've been able to live as a slave, something which i haven't been able to fit into my life as of yet, have you found that the need for validation has waned? Do you think seeking it is a bad thing? Oh no, it hasn't waned at all! I do NEED validation. However, another wonderful slave I have been talking with has helped to open my eyes about some things. If we have a good Master, that truly knows our needs and wants, then our job is to not complain or ask all the time for them to be fulfilled. Rather, continue to focus on HIS needs and wants, and with our good and diligent service we will be rewarded by having those needs fulfilled by him. And no, I don't think seeking validation is a bad thing either, it's simply a matter of how we go about seeking it. We as slaves and subs must have validation, otherwise, what motivation would we have to continue?

ggonknees -> RE: Learning through slavery (5/18/2005 2:33:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: daisyrocket 5. I will accept whatever you choose to mete out to me whether I like it or not because knowing that it pleases YOU is all that matters. [/center] Now, this is where i've come to a stand still on my training. My Master wanted to rape me. With it in mind that i am to accept whatever he choses to mete out on me whether i like it or not...it's not that. i have to ask, has this been something that other slave's in their training has had? i just know i can't accept that...and quite possibly, am not a slave in reality. i asked it to finished. He told me to meditate on it... What do you guys think? opinions soooo gratefully received.

daisyrocket -> RE: Learning through slavery (5/18/2005 4:12:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: daisyrocket quote: ORIGINAL: strongnsubmissiv Since you've been able to live as a slave, something which i haven't been able to fit into my life as of yet, have you found that the need for validation has waned? Oh no, it hasn't waned at all! I do NEED validation. ..<snip>then our job is to not complain or ask all the time for them to be fulfilled. Rather, continue to focus on HIS needs and wants, and with our good and diligent service we will be rewarded by having those needs fulfilled by him. Ok..I have to add something to this because of a discovery I have made today. My previous statement was made before I had begun a ritual that I elected to help with my focus on Sir and maintain my path of slavery. Keep in mind here, Bent, that I have only been "living" as a slave for about 2 months now. My difficulties are all brand new to me. I have never experienced slavery before now. Yesterday I began my new ritual of devotionals 3 times a day to honor Sir. I say one in the morning, one midday, and one before bed. I recite them three times out loud while kneeling. Now aside from the fact that these devotionals are near to cleansing for me, bring about calm and peace, and give me an inner warmth knowing that at least in some small way, even though Sir is not with me, I am serving him, I have also realized that his pride in me and praise he has given me for devoting myself in such a way is very special. I have come to realize just today, that while his validation is important to me, I don't want it daily for every little thing I do. His preference to give praise of one thing over another means that it really meant something to him, which in turn means a great deal to me. If I had it for every little thing, I think it might lose it's value. Ah learning is a wonderful thing!

strongnsubmissiv -> RE: Learning through slavery (7/3/2005 5:35:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: daisyrocket Ok..I have to add something to this because of a discovery I have made today. My previous statement was made before I had begun a ritual that I elected to help with my focus on Sir and maintain my path of slavery. Keep in mind here, Bent, that I have only been "living" as a slave for about 2 months now. My difficulties are all brand new to me. I have never experienced slavery before now. Yesterday I began my new ritual of devotionals 3 times a day to honor Sir. I say one in the morning, one midday, and one before bed. I recite them three times out loud while kneeling. Now aside from the fact that these devotionals are near to cleansing for me, bring about calm and peace, and give me an inner warmth knowing that at least in some small way, even though Sir is not with me, I am serving him, I have also realized that his pride in me and praise he has given me for devoting myself in such a way is very special. I have come to realize just today, that while his validation is important to me, I don't want it daily for every little thing I do. His preference to give praise of one thing over another means that it really meant something to him, which in turn means a great deal to me. If I had it for every little thing, I think it might lose it's value. Ah learning is a wonderful thing! Very true daisy i have to agree. I mean there's lots of things we do that are selfless and don't need to be recognized by validation. I know for myself, there are times where i just know She expects certain things from me, and they are done. There's no validation involved at that point. However it all comes around full circle when She's looking down at me with a quiet smile, and i know inside She's completely fulfilled by my devotion. Oh it's a wonderful thing.... I hope you'll contintue to share with us daisy, i've really enjoyed your honesty and perspective now that you find yourself immersed in the whole thing. I've always felt like this lifestyle and my orientation to it was something i was born with, and not something that i've chosen. It does scare me a little to think that perhaps what i think i need now, will be entirely different once i get there. Reading your words about your experience is certianly helpful.... .... i hope you keep sharing.. good, bad or otherwise. :) bent

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