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RE: is it just me? - 5/22/2007 7:11:10 PM

Masque66

Posts: 185
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Masque66

You do have to obey.
She wasn't collared, contracted or owned.....so no she doesn't have to obey.

My mistake. I was under the impression she was talking about issues when actually in a relationship. Never mind on that, then. However while collared and contracted are plain lines in the sand being owned is much more vague. It's not always clear when 'ownership' begins.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

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Post #: 21

RE: is it just me? - 5/23/2007 3:03:11 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: apettiger

i have been under the impression that for any relationship to work effectively, there has to be compromise, at least in the beginning, by everyone involved. a learning process, if You will.
i have no issue with submitting,i have been doing it for years, but have been running into Those lately, that feel as soon as i express my interest, or willingness to consider Them, i should accept everything They want to do and say to me. if i object to, let's say, heavy pain ( i am not a pain slut) or some of Their brand of humiliation (this is just as an example) They get all freaked out and tell me that because i am the sub/slave, i have no right to object to or request ANYTHING from Them (remember that this is taking place in the first couple of months of meeting Them). and when i finally say that it is not working for me, They refuse to let me go without a bunch of childish name calling and backbiting.
is it wrong to expect a Dom/me to listen to one's wants, needs and desires and act accordingly?
or should a sub accept any and everything the Dom/me wants to subject them to?

I've always thought the opposite. Compromise, for me, comes about when IN a relationship. I don't see where learning and getting to know someone involves compromise.

You can HOPE that your *wants, needs and desires* are listened to and considered, etc, by a dom you're getting to know. If that's what you want and it's apparent they aren't going to provide it, then don't choose them.

If you're not in a relationship with someone you don't HAVE to do anything.

If you've *submitted for years*, how have things worked for you so far? Did your dom/doms listen to you in the past, did they *subject you to any and everything*?

agirl

(in reply to apettiger)

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Post #: 22

RE: is it just me? - 5/23/2007 3:28:56 AM

NakedGirlScout

Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
Status: offline

This thread is probably already all worked out, but the point seems to me that you can't do anything except what you are already doing; to get to know someone without obligation to continue a budding relationship if it isn't meeting both peoples' needs.

If you imagine yourself following what these oddball doms are saying (that a sub/slave has no right to make a relationship decision about whom she meets), then what they're really logically telling you is that any sub/slave must by definition become owned by the very first person who decides to take her!!!

I'll bet that that's not really what they meant either, I think they meant that no sub/slave has any choice with regards to only himself, but is welcome to reject any other man except him. If you really want to mess with their head try asking them whether following their advice would mean that you must be owned by the first man who wants you regardless of whether he's appropriate for you... then sit back laughing as they sputter and spurt and don't know what to say and start calling you names for asking the question

(in reply to OsideGirl)

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Post #: 23

RE: is it just me? - 5/23/2007 7:09:45 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

apettiger I'm having a difficult time trying to understand your situation. I read your post about the Master who wanted you to disown your UM, I read your post about the Master who was physically abusive (not sure if they are the same man), and your profile leads me to believe that this is very recent. Then now a post about Dominants wanting want it all within the first couple of months (are we still referring to the same man or are these all seperate occurences?).

I think that you know the answers to the questions you are asking? Maybe you are just getting too involved too quickly though and need to take some time to figure out what you are looking for and also why you have made the choices in men that you have.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to apettiger)

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Post #: 24