RE: Asking for release....

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NakedGirlScout -> RE: Asking for release.... (5/22/2007 12:49:51 PM)
If it's really just casual then a casual goodbye should be all that's needed. Say that you had fun but that you need to move on to something different. That sounds pretty casual and straightforward.

AquaticSub -> RE: Asking for release.... (5/22/2007 2:08:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sweetstorm It's been fun but I can't deal with His temper and I want out. It was a casual arrangement and all in fun. So what's the best way to.... um... break up with your Dom? Depending on his temper, the best way may involve local law enforcement. Other than that, it's just like breaking up in a vanilla relationship. It always sucks, there isn't really a nice way to do it, and you've got a chance of them bad-mouthing you no matter how much you try to spare their feelings.

AquaticSub -> RE: Asking for release.... (5/22/2007 2:10:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shyinini I dont totally disagree....but sometimes things DO need closure for your own personal GROWTH ! Yes. However, nobody is responsible for your closure but you. Sometimes you just don't get closure from other people and you can't demand it. You have to find it for yourself.

AquaticSub -> RE: Asking for release.... (5/22/2007 2:12:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: drawntothedark perhaps, however it's not the responsiblity of anyone to provide you with it. If she leaves it's up to him to find his closure. I personally have never had to have it. To me closure is a crutch someone uses to hang on to the past when they refuse to let it go. I do believe in forgivness, and forgiving yourself and the other person for wrongs done in the relationship. But closure to me something totally different. Damn. Sorry guys - I'm trying to stop smoking today and I have had some other wild stuff make me a bit snippy. If you need closure then by all means get it. And if you don't agree with what I said then ignore me. :) Funny - that sounds a lot like closure to me! [:)]

drawntothedark -> RE: Asking for release.... (5/22/2007 2:28:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: drawntothedark perhaps, however it's not the responsiblity of anyone to provide you with it. If she leaves it's up to him to find his closure. I personally have never had to have it. To me closure is a crutch someone uses to hang on to the past when they refuse to let it go. I do believe in forgivness, and forgiving yourself and the other person for wrongs done in the relationship. But closure to me something totally different. Damn. Sorry guys - I'm trying to stop smoking today and I have had some other wild stuff make me a bit snippy. If you need closure then by all means get it. And if you don't agree with what I said then ignore me. :) Funny - that sounds a lot like closure to me! [:)] Nah - to me closure is needing to understand what happened. Needing to cut apart every thing and examine it until the relationship that failed makes sense. What happened was Miss A and Mr. B did not get along or someone wanted to move on. Miss A for example can't deal with that so she seeks closure (which I have seen more than a few times in "stalking" behavor under the banner of closure) Finding Forgivness in yourself and the other person to me is something totally diffent. Of course like I said it's only how I see it. And I guess a certain amount of healthy "closure" would come from forgivness. However, I was mainly referring to the depressing, sad unhealthy, inhibiting kind of "needing closure"

AquaticSub -> RE: Asking for release.... (5/22/2007 2:32:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: drawntothedark However, I was mainly referring to the depressing, sad unhealthy, inhibiting kind of "needing closure" See... to me, that's not needing closure. It's clinging to a dying relationship while saying you need closure. To me, getting closure is about examining the relationship to see where both parties went wrong, learning something from it, and moving on. Interesting, all the different takes people can have on the same thing, huh? [:)]

drawntothedark -> RE: Asking for release.... (5/22/2007 2:38:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: drawntothedark However, I was mainly referring to the depressing, sad unhealthy, inhibiting kind of "needing closure" See... to me, that's not needing closure. It's clinging to a dying relationship while saying you need closure. To me, getting closure is about examining the relationship to see where both parties went wrong, learning something from it, and moving on. Interesting, all the different takes people can have on the same thing, huh? [:)] :) I totally see what your saying.

littleone35 -> RE: Asking for release.... (5/22/2007 4:05:45 PM)
I would say look we had some fun but this is not working for me anymore bye. Matt's littleone

somethndif -> RE: Asking for release.... (5/22/2007 4:13:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sweetstorm It's been fun but I can't deal with His temper and I want out. It was a casual arrangement and all in fun. So what's the best way to.... um... break up with your Dom? There is no rule book, and you don't have to "ask for release." So, just say, "Its been fun but I can't deal with your temper, and I'm leaving." You don't have to ask, just tell him. If you are worried about his temper, do it by telephone, email, snail mail, smoke signals, etc. Whatever works! Dan

pinksugarsub -> RE: Asking for release.... (5/22/2007 4:22:56 PM)
quote: perhaps, however it's not the responsiblity of anyone to provide you with it. If she leaves it's up to him to find his closure. I personally have never had to have it. To me closure is a crutch someone uses to hang on to the past when they refuse to let it go. I do believe in forgivness, and forgiving yourself and the other person for wrongs done in the relationship. But closure to me something totally different. Damn. Sorry guys - I'm trying to stop smoking today and I have had some other wild stuff make me a bit snippy. If you need closure then by all means get it. And if you don't agree with what I said then ignore me. :) drawntodark Congrats on the quitting smoking thing. My turn's coming up soon and i know what yr going through. Hang in there and email me on the other side if i can be of help at all. BTW, i didn't find what you wrote snippy, just direct and to the point.

KatyLied -> RE: Asking for release.... (5/22/2007 5:30:07 PM)
quote: Nah - to me closure is needing to understand what happened. Needing to cut apart every thing and examine it until the relationship that failed makes sense. Okay, I understand that, I used to be the same way. And I always thought I was to blame, just how I look at things. If I were more ____ (fill in the blank, prettier, smarter, thinner, richer, etc) then he would want me. Then I realized that to think and obsess about the other person was to allow him authority over my thoughts and entry into my life. Giving authority to someone who didn't choose me or whom I didn't choose to be with, that seems silly to me. Another plan -- make a ritual to say goodbye that doesn't include the other person directly. Toss letters or pictures, write something in your journal, delete his phone number, etc. Then promise yourself that you are now moving on.

sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Asking for release.... (5/22/2007 6:54:35 PM)
Just tell him " I want to be released'. Honesty is always the best way to go. I am not one to beat around the bush.

Sirandlittle1 -> RE: Asking for release.... (5/22/2007 6:59:16 PM)
I find in life, where emotions are involved, people do the strangest things, so its possible. But does it matter? Good luck with editing your selection criteria, and learning from this experience. little1 quote: ORIGINAL: sweetstorm Okay..... total change of subject. Is it really odd if your Dom gets on His knees and begs you to stay?

szobras -> RE: Asking for release.... (5/22/2007 7:00:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sweetstorm Okay..... total change of subject. Is it really odd if your Dom gets on His knees and begs you to stay? Depends on the wording and if he holds out a ring while he's down there.

Lordandmaster -> RE: Asking for release.... (5/22/2007 7:02:18 PM)
Send him pictures of you serving someone else. quote: ORIGINAL: sweetstorm So what's the best way to.... um... break up with your Dom?

kittensmailbox -> RE: Asking for release.... (5/22/2007 7:04:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW Just tell him " I want to be released'. Honesty is always the best way to go. I am not one to beat around the bush. i agree

dawntreader -> RE: Asking for release.... (5/22/2007 8:29:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster Send him pictures of you serving someone else. ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!! That might work!

Lordandmaster -> RE: Asking for release.... (5/22/2007 11:43:13 PM)
Don't laugh. I know a guy who killed himself over that. quote: ORIGINAL: dawntreader quote: ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster Send him pictures of you serving someone else. ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!! That might work!

imthatacheyouhav -> RE: Asking for release.... (5/23/2007 6:52:38 AM)
How about...."You'er fat...ugly...and your breath stinks!!!...Now get lost before i vomit!"....is that too much?.....it was wasn't it?

sweetstorm -> RE: Asking for release.... (5/23/2007 2:47:21 PM)
I'm actually very stunned, it turned out quite well. I really suck at breaking up a vanilla relationship so I figured this would be just as awkward, painful and tail-spinning. I stated that I was asking for release and why. I can't just say "see ya". The problem is that when you've been serving someone for a good while, they aren't just your Dom, they become a very good friend. And you can't take away the friendship and keep the Ds and its awkward to drop the Ds and keep the friendship. I honestly didn't realize what GOOD friends we had become as this has gone along. I was keeping this in Ds terms in my head for so long that when He began telling me all the reasons He wished I would stay, it really kind of shocked me that He really cared about our FRIENDSHIP so much, the vanilla things we have in common and how much we get along. I had no idea how much He really appreciated me. He said some very sweet things and tentatively asked me if I would please keep His collar and said that if we were to part ways, He would rather it be done as a celebration of an amazing journey than in anger or misunderstanding. Awwwwwwwww....... and He offered me chocolate. I can't turn that down.

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