I am not really sure what you mean by 'labeling'.
Sweetness, alot of this comes down to who trusts who? If your dominant is new to BDSM he may simply be acting on what he thinks a dominant should be doing rather than what he wants to do. If he trusts you and your not easily influenced, then it doesn;t matter who you talk to if you and his relationship is solid and sound.
Do you participate in munches, clubs etc?
And what do you mean - take over? Are they telling you, that your dominant is wrong or doing things wrong? Are these real friends you have met?
To me, your post is in frenzy.
If your dominant wants to vet your corresponsance, that is his decison - and as his submissive you accept or you question and leave. Is it sending up red flags for you that he does this? Or is it something that you do not particularly want to do, but know it's the right thing to do because it's his decision. Have you both discussed what people are trying to undermine?
These are all so vague glorious - you cannot make promises that you cannot keep, that you both havent discussed fully, or that you do not understand.
Peace
