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Arastella -> RE: sad today... (6/1/2007 10:21:48 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: NakedGirlScout
You know what, I have just realized that these bizarre problems are stemming from a mood disorder that he's got. Christ, that explains a LOT, probably explains everything. The paranoia, the sudden irrational switches of perspective, the lengthy inexplicable rages triggered by trivial things, and the contrasting bouts of severe self-doubt and depression following the rages.
I should say to anyone who's thought all I do is "whine" is that on the GOOD days he is an absolute pleasure to be around, and that I don't bother writing long posts about the good days since I am perfectly content. The GOOD days last for about a month or two at a time, which is just long enough to feel relieved and start to believe that the problems are over. It's just that the BAD days (which have lasted around 1 week at a stretch) are so frightening and honestly so bizarre, the personality changes in him are stunning. Now that explains why I tend to post several times in short succession about a lot of different problems, because this is in reality the way it is happening. Imagine your partner switching from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde like this through no fault of his own, and you'll know it's both hard to cope and hard to give up on the person... because you see who they are apart from the disorder and love them for it.
If any of you have been in relationships (or possibly yourself) with people who have mood disorders, you will know why I am reaching out and practically grasping at straws. Hopefully have a little compassion or just ignore me if my posting irritates you. Thank you to the lovely people who have been so supportive and held my hand through this latest descent into hell. My Master has just snapped out of it today around lunchtime and is incredibly confused, paralyzed by guilt, terrified of himself and emotionally exhausted. He needs medical help.
Raises hand up high and hops up and down. Yeeeeaaah. I know PERSONALLY what he's going through. I have a mood disorder of my own. I can personally say it is a curse. When I hit moments like that, I get so angry and I feel I am completely validated for being upset and don't understand why people are mad at ME and don't understand my side of things. I get so angry at times it brings me to angry tears. It doesn't necessarily happen for as long as it does him, for me, but I tell ya, all this sounds SO familiar. Medical help? *nods* If ya'll have insurance, have him see a therapist, and perhaps suggest Xannax or Abilify or something. I've taken a GREAT deal of meds for this problem. Best of luck. My Mistress knows what you're going through because She deals with ME. Lol! Sometimes its easier to be the Dom dealing with a submissive with problems like this!
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