Could some one tell me if its normal (Full Version)

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solidsnake -> Could some one tell me if its normal (5/25/2007 7:48:08 AM)

Could some one tell me if its normal to be 22 and to have never had a girl freind??? Im starting to think that i dont belong in this world anymore, and that the days of courtesy and devotion are over. like can anyone out there commit to anyone anymore??? I have so much love in my heart that i want to give, is there no one out there the wants to take it???
I have bin a very patient person. Ive waited and waited, and im so tried of being lonely at night. More often then not i find myself not being able to sleep , so i look out to the night sky and just dream of the day all have some one to hold. All in all i guess im just mad at the world, i want to find someone who will take my hand and help forget about the holes in my heart and i want it well im still young enough to see the world?
i guess im a dreamer... wish some one would read this.



imthatacheyouhav -> RE: Could some one tell me if its normal (5/25/2007 7:54:25 AM)

I met my husband when he was 23. I was his 1st girl friend...so no its not unusual to me...



Trampler -> RE: Could some one tell me if its normal (5/25/2007 7:54:47 AM)

Well hate to tell you, but you will just have to continue being patient.  And I don't want to offend you, but being whiny about it isn't going to help you.  I didn't have my 1st bf til I was 25.  I am a romantic too, so I see nothing wrong with courtesy and devotion.  Though on this site you may have less luck then on vanilla sites. Not the many women are looking for people your age.  Even women that are your age.  check out your local community, get to know people, make friends and just enjoy life.  Also get involved in other activities, look up the meetup website, and lastly, participate on these forums!



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Could some one tell me if its normal (5/25/2007 7:58:10 AM)

hi, i was 23 when i had my first bf and sexual experience



orphaned -> RE: Could some one tell me if its normal (5/25/2007 7:58:35 AM)

He wasn't being whiney ...

I love how its no longer acceptable to express anguish or frustration.

Anyway ... To the OP ... You have email ...



imthatacheyouhav -> RE: Could some one tell me if its normal (5/25/2007 8:00:20 AM)

quote:

He wasn't being whiney ...

i agree... sometimes not all posts are hearts and flowers



Trampler -> RE: Could some one tell me if its normal (5/25/2007 8:14:35 AM)

I know that, it just seemed whiny to me.  (though I have to remember I have been whiny myself on a few threads. lol.)  What he should understand that it takes time, alot of time to not only find a partner, but also to learn.  He needs to learn patience.  I have heard of those who have waited 10 yrs.  to find the right partner. 



solidsnake -> RE: Could some one tell me if its normal (5/25/2007 10:05:32 AM)

wow thanks for the positive and the negative , i had no idea i was whining? i thought i was just being what I'am , lonely, like wow people are harsh, i guess because i Have a dom nature im not allow to say that im feeling sad, Doms after all are supposed to be robots that dont get sad... Well to bad, thats who I am. I guess i was just hoping to find some one who would care and maybe even feel the same way I did. But hey,way to try and snuff out my flame. After all I was sure the world was big enough for two lonely hearts??? god now im pissed off, you look for a little love and affection and "bang" all the sudden your the bad guy? like what the fuck? did i say that i expect to just fall head over heel insanely?NO!!! I understand that it takes time, alot of time, but it would sure be nice to find some with a bit of commitment?to make a start? even if it was just in freindship. So many doms are about making people feel down, and i knew when i posted this i would get negative and positive replies,but to say someone whinning when there looking for romance seem kind of sad tio me??? Even sadder then me feeling alone? My sub when i find one is going to be treated like gold. After all im a hopeless romantic and i stand bye that, you may think im in a hurry but im not, hell i was starting to think the every one on here is looking for a quickfix? but not me,i want something real and life lasting, and yeah i want it well im still young, ive meet some cool people on collar me, and have to say so far the good out ways the bad. besides i like Negative remarks , they just give me something to proof wrong.

Joe




MySweetSubmssive -> RE: Could some one tell me if its normal (5/25/2007 10:15:31 AM)

Do you know the phrase "success breeds success?"  The opposite is true as well.  I get being lonely.  Lots of people are, and lots want to be in a relationship.  When you say that you are lonely, I think that breeds more loneliness.   It makes people back away. 

I think you were just sounding off in your first post.  The thing is you were sounding off to the very people who you are trying to attract, and that's not going to do you too well.  Your introduction to this community was you saying that you are a lonely, needy guy.  Who is going to enthusiastically respond to that?

MSS



Masque66 -> RE: Could some one tell me if its normal (5/25/2007 10:20:48 AM)

You really come to a site like this and want to ask about what's 'normal'?  That's an incredibly variant term, and I wouldn't worry.  Hell I know women who've gone without a boyfriend til their thirties.  It doesn't make them any less normal in my eyes.



SadisticMan -> RE: Could some one tell me if its normal (5/25/2007 10:29:24 AM)

I don't think you were being whiney, just honest and probably
letting out something that you have needed to for a while.

As for collarme, don't look for or expect sympathy from
most people, they are loveless and "hardcore".

There are those of us who do care and wish you the best.
Now that you've said your anguish, go about defining yourself
and go out and meet people.  You will not find it online if
are needing realtime.



Trampler -> RE: Could some one tell me if its normal (5/25/2007 10:43:45 AM)

I wish him the best too.  I did give what I felt was sound advice in my response, going out and meeting people. And it sounds like he is doing that.  And it seems like when he does get a girl, regardless of what their dynamic is, I am sure he will treat her like gold.  (btw I meant to add, that if I were looking for a Dom, was about your age, and in your area, I would definately want you. [:)] )



SadisticMan -> RE: Could some one tell me if its normal (5/25/2007 11:00:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Trampler

I wish him the best too.  I did give what I felt was sound advice in my response, going out and meeting people. And it sounds like he is doing that.  And it seems like when he does get a girl, regardless of what their dynamic is, I am sure he will treat her like gold.  (btw I meant to add, that if I were looking for a Dom, was about your age, and in your area, I would definately want you. [:)] )


yes, I'm sorry, not attacking you personally, though it does
appear that way.
I think we all should be more caring and helping people
with their issues and frustrations.  This is a community and
it's up to us to make work.



solidsnake -> RE: Could some one tell me if its normal (5/26/2007 11:26:36 AM)

wow!!!I am very impressed with the replys. I see what your saying about "normal" Masque66 good point, also i never realy looked at my post as being a negitive thing? "success breeds success" also a good point?thank you MySweetSubmssive. I guess all in all it was an act of frustration and wanted someone like me to hear my call??? now the question is? any one have any pointers? LOL??? i have to say i dont think all ever tell anybody im lonely ever again.

anyways thanks every one for the good and bad its all good if you take it into retrospect

i wish every one out there love and peace,
may you find what you seek

Solid Snake



rayhan09 -> RE: Could some one tell me if its normal (5/26/2007 5:00:29 PM)

Oh Gawd!  I'm on the wrong site looking for a CARING Daddy Dom???  What are some vanilla sites?  I think I may need some of those!



rayhan09 -> RE: Could some one tell me if its normal (5/26/2007 5:02:04 PM)

could u please email me a list of some vanilla sites?



slaverosebeauty -> RE: Could some one tell me if its normal (5/26/2007 5:04:24 PM)

What type of nilla sites?? For dating?? I know a few decent, legit ones where nice guys are.

Email me, I will send you a list. If you are looking for a sugardaddy I know the PERFECT site. Email me, I will help you out.



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Could some one tell me if its normal (5/26/2007 6:19:43 PM)

Caring Doms are not hard to find.  If your looking at Snake's frusteration and deciding your in the wrong place, though, you best head off now.  This was minor!  But  since it isnt your thread, I'l get back to my advice to snake.

Doms are not robots, but you hav to remember you are intorducing yourself to someone riht off. Not everyone finds ANYTHING worth having for a long time.  I had boyfriends early, but I never had any really worthwhile. Its perfectly normal to want to wait until you ahve the rigt one for your first. If it takes a while, then sobe it. It isnt easy, but settling isnt always the answer. AS a Dom, you wil have a bit more trouble than average, becasue a simple vanilla girl isnt going to do it for you. My suggestion? Meet as many people as you can and see if someone strikes a chord. Thats how I did it.  I had a mentor who pulled me into the local community and I met many submissives before one caught my eye.
If you have any specific questions, feel free to mail me on the other side.

DV




lateralist1 -> RE: Could some one tell me if its normal (5/28/2007 10:12:43 AM)

Ok so you want a girlfriend to love and you hope that it will last forever.
I presume you would like her to love you back it sounds like it from your posts.
That's pretty normal I would say. Perhaps a little old fashioned but that's not necessarily a bad thing.
Now you label yourself as a Dom.
What you have to decide is what that means to you.
Do you want to dominate the relationship completely?
Or do you want an equal vanilla relationship most of the time and then occassionally want your partner to hand over full control to you ie play sessions?
Or do you want play sessions of the type where you discuss every last detail with your partner, gain her consent and then do it?
Forming a vanilla sexual relationship is difficult especially the first time. Don't forget you need to talk about every part of the relationship including the sex in detail. It's your job if you are dominant. Making it last is more difficult.The talking helps. Extending it into a consensual D/s relationship is more difficult still especially if it is 24/7 ie your word is law all the time. Then we come to the big step of BDSM. At this point you and your partner should have a clear understanding of what you are both seeking BDSM wise. You should have been talking about it throughout your vanilla relationship and learning from others in the lifestyle. Now if you have a 24/7 D/s relationship with total power exchange then you can do what you like to her when you want to as long as you know it's consensual. Or if you only have a D/s relationship part of the time then you can do what you like to her within those agreed 'play' times as long as you know it's consensual.
I hope all that makes sense.
If all that sounds beyond you then go back to the fucked up world of vanilla where men do just as they damn well please and women put up with it.
Or of course you could change to being a sub and hope that some experienced, capable, strong, loving, dominant woman takes you in hand.



YesMistressIrish -> RE: Could some one tell me if its normal (5/28/2007 11:07:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SadisticMan

quote:

ORIGINAL: Trampler

I wish him the best too.  I did give what I felt was sound advice in my response, going out and meeting people. And it sounds like he is doing that.  And it seems like when he does get a girl, regardless of what their dynamic is, I am sure he will treat her like gold.  (btw I meant to add, that if I were looking for a Dom, was about your age, and in your area, I would definately want you. [:)] )


yes, I'm sorry, not attacking you personally, though it does
appear that way.
I think we all should be more caring and helping people
with their issues and frustrations.  This is a community and
it's up to us to make work.



It is up to us, and takes a lot of weeding out the bs. Time, energy, etc.
 
Best of luck to the OP.
 
Needles in a very large haystack.
 
*crocheting my Utopian blanket
 
Miss Irish



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