quote:

I like them as a tool for communicating about what one likes or doesn't like about S&M activities.

• What do I need to provide for you to feel safe meeting me?
  
• Where do you want to meet?
  
• What time will you be there?

quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

I think GS is correct.  Although those lists may seem helpful and, in fact, sometimes are, you may not want to approach a submissive with one until after you've established some sort of rapport. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

You know I don't think I have ever seen anyone even attempt to use the list as the total communication about what they like or don't like what works or doesn;t work for them. (not saying it doesn't happen just that I've never actually seen it)

They at best are a skeleton framwork providing a framework for a conversation to build on.
Seeing a 5 under spanking tells you they feel strongly about them and that's about all it tells you directly, however it does clue you in that the subject of spanking is a place you certainly need to talk about and flesh out a further understanding.
" OK you list Spanking as a 5, what is it about spanking that you like? what about the aspects of speed or time between blows.
When you speak about spankings are you more interested in the physical sensations of a spanking or the emotional aspects , OTK, Bent over a desk does spanking need to be accompanied by a roleplay scenareo for it to be good for you, ...

Of course the discussion can cover the same ground and be much more fun and interesting if you adjust your tone and make the questions leading and sexy.

ie ( So how would you expect to react if I took you over my knee raised your skirt lowered your panties and applied 5 or 6 hard slap type swats to your bottom? How about if I bent you over the chair instead of over my lap, would the coldness of the chair increase your mental processing as erotic or decrease it? Would the closeness of OTK make you more concious of being exposed or less than if bent over the chair?)

Strong responses either direction good or bad need extensive discussion Mild responses can be shorter and delayed in the  discussion longer.

The lists do not make then entire communication but they do like any checklist make it easy to be sure you have covered all the things you wanted to be sure you discussed.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

The trick witha  quesionairre or list is timing. If it is before you have met, or at least talked and you are sure you want to meet, then it can be used to try and impress a prospective. In that case, it might as wel never be used, since the answers cant realy be trusted. I use them when working with a newcomer, and we do them together. I have nothing to weigh in on playing with someone more seasoned, whether I would or wouldnt becasue I have never had  apartner with significant experience. I did not use a list with Angel, becasue our conversations pretty much went through everything he wanted to explore, and everything I was interested in.
Sometimes, someone needs a kickstart becasue they are shy about discussion of likes and dislikes. Or they are concerned they dont know enough terminology to know how to ask for what they want. That is when these can be useful. I agree with the others, later is better.

DV

quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears
The last on that list someone linked was zippers - what are zippers?
You know....those metal things you pull up to close your fly.  No, the ones i've seen done involve pinning lots and lots of clothespins onto someone's body and then, by using a string run through them, pull them off one right after the other (kind of like pushing a domino and then the rest subsequently falling).  You pull the string and they begin to pop off one right after another in one long (torturous) rip.  For clothespins lovers, it's a delight...slave luci