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Eating Disorder - 5/21/2005 12:52:12 AM

BeautifulDoll

Posts: 107
Joined: 4/14/2005
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i am a sub that has a distorted body image of herself. my Master is really bothered by this. i hardly eat. i was wondering if there are any other subs on here with this problem?

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RE: Eating Disorder - 5/21/2005 4:37:14 AM

Manawyddan

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Joined: 1/2/2005
From: Petaluma (Northern California)
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It's not all that rare, unfortunately. What worked for some folks I know is to set up a ritual ... it's harder to not eat when you know you have to be having a meal of sorts at 7:AM, noon and 6:PM every day, for example. If your Master is so inclined ... well it depends, I don't know what sort of relationship you have.

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RE: Eating Disorder - 5/21/2005 4:57:21 PM

mastersamuel2U

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Joined: 1/16/2005
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I don't have a step eating schedule for beautifuldoll because My schedule changes almost day to day it seems. she won't eat unless I'm sitting there watching and making sure she does. This greatly concerns Me because I know she is doing it out of fear of being replaced. she feels that she is ugly and that no one could really want her for long. I do all I can to change her self image, but I feel this change most come from inside. I feel as time passes and she starts to beleive that she isn't going to be replaced that she will get better with her eating and develop a better self image.

(in reply to BeautifulDoll)

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RE: Eating Disorder - 5/21/2005 5:35:47 PM

LadyAngelika

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Perhaps then you might want to deal with the issue which is her self image rather then trying to deal with the eating. I figure if you tackle the real problem, everything else will settle into place.

I have just gotten over an eating disorder issue. I had the opposite problem. I was an emotional eater. Dieting never helped because I wasn't dealing with the issue of *why* I was eating so much. Now that I have tackled that, I am losing weight at a healthy pace and I've replaced my negative reaction with a positive one.

You may want to be the one to *save* her Samuel and you might be able to help her a lot. But if the situation persists, both of you might want to look into an eating disorder support group. Often talking with other people who are going through the same thing as you will help tremendously.

- LA

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RE: Eating Disorder - 5/21/2005 7:17:26 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I'm sure there are many subs out there who have a body image problem.
Myself, I have an eating disorder...but not because I don't like my body. Sure,
there are areas I'd love to eradicate. Overall I'm happy. My disorder was caused by the US air force. Irreversible damage. So, I don't get hungry. I can literally go for a week at a time and never be hungry.
Try having a metabolism that way.
If you can get up the courage go to a nudist colony. You'll soon find out there are more people like you than the model types. It will help immensely.

(in reply to BeautifulDoll)

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RE: Eating Disorder - 5/21/2005 7:50:42 PM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
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BeautifulDol.........
I guess I'll be the first to raise my hand. For years I've eaten a meal a day.
(pick one)= Too busy, Too broke, Too fat,
Just grab another cup of coffee and smoke another cigarette if hunger hit's.
Once you do this long enough Hunger doesn't register as a need for food.
Your body just seems not to ever be hungry. That's when the real Monster
hits and your Metabolism hit's rock bottom sabotaging any so called progress
you think you've made. Then there you are, not hungry, not eating enough
to keep an air fern alive and your image that stares back just laughs at you.
The problem I've found is even though I know this circle I still do it.
The last time I was doing this pretty heavy someone told me to eat, and
followed it with a "keep my shit healthy". Healthy is the key, if the fuel
your putting in isn't enough or of the right quality the engine isnt
going to run right. So I've been trying to make myself eat,
even found if I made myself eat in the mornings I do get hungry by noon.
But this transition period sucks, I slip and slide with eating and not eating.
Please do yourself a favor and try to fix this now while youth is still
on your side. It seems like MasterSamuel2U has the desire to help, that
should make it that much easier for you.
Good Luck........ my thoughts are with you.
Q

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RE: Eating Disorder - 5/21/2005 7:56:37 PM

BeautifulDoll

Posts: 107
Joined: 4/14/2005
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yes my Master definitely wants to help me with this defeating self image i have. He wants to put me on vitamins to make sure at least i am getting those while working on the eating disorder problem. i am just so afraid that if i am not skinny that my Master will find someone else who is and replace me, i know he won't but i can not get myself to truly believe that. It is really hard when your whole life you have been told you are fat, ugly, and that no one wants you. This is a big reason why i have the disorder. i look in the mirror and all i see is a disgusting fat, ugly, girl. i know that is not true because numerous people on this website, models, and photographers ( i am pursuing a fetish modeling career), have told me that i am beautiful and just being silly. i just wish and hope that one day i can see and truly believe what everyone has been telling me and for this nightmare to finally be over.

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RE: Eating Disorder - 5/21/2005 11:44:40 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
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This thread may help, even though it is more focused on body image of those who are overweight.

body image

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RE: Eating Disorder - 5/22/2005 9:38:18 AM

sub4hire

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quote:

i look in the mirror and all i see is a disgusting fat, ugly, girl. i know that is not true because numerous people on this website, models, and photographers ( i am pursuing a fetish modeling career), have told me that i am beautiful and just being silly. i just wish and hope that one day i can see and truly believe what everyone has been telling me and for this nightmare to finally be over.

I'm certainly far from an expert on eating disorders but what you are describing sounds more like self esteem issues to me. I'd start working on that.

As far as what Quiver said...I had no idea you hit rock bottom. Year's ago I was given 10 days to live because my food was not digesting anymore. I said ok....I'll live out my ten days. Anyway here I am. Just no hunger usually. Interesting to hear that your body stops wanting food. I'm going to definately have to do some research on that.

As far as fetish photographers go. I know a lot of people in the fetish business. Essentially all you have to do is be willing to screw the producer and you'll have work. Put your faith in your friends. Not those people. Put some faith in yourself as well.

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RE: Eating Disorder - 5/22/2005 7:58:11 PM

FelinePersuasion

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Joined: 11/20/2004
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You might try a kink aware and friendly therapist. Self esteem and body isseus and all those mential problems can be worked on but they take a lot of time and love and care.

I was a skinny child and my mom used to think it was funny and a joke to sing fatty fatty 2x4 couldn't get through the kitchen door. She thought it was funny and harmless but jokes like that, even to a skinny person like I was don't tend to be very funny.

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RE: Eating Disorder - 5/22/2005 11:34:46 PM

LadyAngelika

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Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

You might try a kink aware and friendly therapist. Self esteem and body isseus and all those mential problems can be worked on but they take a lot of time and love and care.

I mentioned this a few posts ago but it seemed to be ignored. I'm happy someone is bringing it up again. Getting to the root of the problem is paramount in my opinion.

- LA

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RE: Eating Disorder - 5/26/2005 6:34:10 PM

pheonissa

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Joined: 5/26/2005
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BeautifulDoll,

i know that i am very new to the boards but i hope you do not mind my replying. i know exactly what you are concerned about and have dealt with that issue. i have had an eating disorder for 13 years. my disorder actually got worse during my marriage (my husband is also my Dom (we use sub and Dom) - we've been married for 7 years). He tried many different things to try and get me to have a more positive self image. Some of the ideas sound kooky and stupid but they did help. He would write out affirmations on index cards and give me one a day (affirmations are positive comments like, "I am a beautiful person" and "I am valued as a person, not just for the appearance of my body") which i was to keep with me and repeat over and over throughout the day. It sounds stupid, but it did help. He would also sit with me at meals and make sure that i ate. The main thing is that your Master know it is not all about food and eating. There are deaper issues. my husband had to travel for work and my disorder went out of control because i didn't have someone watching over me. i eventually went into treatment with a therapist (with whom i had weekly appointments and now no longer need to see unless i feel myself slipping back) and i have regular appointments with a medical doctor and am under the care of a nutritionist. One thing we found was that food and eating could not be an aspect of our D/s lifestyle. i now must eat 6 times a day, a prescribed amount of specific foods (because i am still underweight). my husband and Dom has helped me so much with my disorder. this is something you need to talk about with your Master not only for you but for your relationship.

Sorry this was so long (can you tell i just got out of treatment only 4 weeks ago...lol). i hope it helps some. good luck and stay healthy.

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RE: Eating Disorder - 5/27/2005 12:06:24 PM

masterforyorlove

Posts: 18
Joined: 5/24/2005
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My last Sub had the same issue with the way that she looked at her own body. When I first met her, she had been so thin that a good stiff wind threatened to blow her over to the next Block.

I helped her to let go of her focus on her own body image and focus on other things by controlling her. I was ulimately able to get her obsessed with playing her instument(piano)when we were apart and have her focus primarily on obediance and servatude when we were together. By the time that we split up, she was so much more healthy and in better reasoning.