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Looking for a Mentor. - 5/23/2005 3:33:59 PM

Xariel

Posts: 5
Joined: 11/13/2004
Status: offline

Hello, I've been fascinated with d/s stories for a few years now and I think i would like to try things in real life. I have been told that a Mentor is a good way to get started. I know a lot of big mistakes can be easily made early on and I want to be safe and not hurt anyone.

But more importantly.. I need to Master myself before i could ever consider having a sub of my own. All my life i have been part of a culture of feminism and i think as a result i have repressed a part of my nature.

So, i must unlearn what i have learned.

I need a Yoda.

Hope to hear from someone who can help share knowledge.

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RE: Looking for a Mentor. - 5/23/2005 3:35:37 PM

MzBerlin

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline

Xariel-
Get thee to a local dungeon or munch!!
Get thee to a library or kink-friendly bookstore!!

You've already made a great decision in coming to the boards. There is a wealth of information here and a wonderful and supportive comminity.

B

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new pictures!! www.ropexpert.com
also- you can catch me on www.ksexradio.com every tuesday. I co-host Baadmasters' Dungeon!!

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RE: Looking for a Mentor. - 5/23/2005 4:24:04 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I agree with Berlin. A mentor is not somebody who goes out and advertises themselves as a mentor. That is more like a vulture.
A mentor is someone you've watched and would like to learn from. You approach them when the time is right. If they agree to talk to you then you have a mentor.

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RE: Looking for a Mentor. - 5/23/2005 4:49:22 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

Rather than search for a mentor, join a munch group and make friends. Over time, you'll learn a lot from these people. As you progress, usually one of your closer friends in the group will take it upon themselves to mentor you. If not, watch and learn.

Stuff in your area:
http://www.releaseva.com/
http://www.richmondleatherclub.com/
http://www.vasocks.com/news.html (these guys have a munch Wed the 25th)
http://www.mybdsm.com/pages/VaPowerExc/
http://www.bdsm-virginia.com/

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

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RE: Looking for a Mentor. - 5/23/2005 5:03:27 PM

Xariel

Posts: 5
Joined: 11/13/2004
Status: offline

What excellent resources you must have to know more about my community than I :)

Molti Gratzi Bella BeachMystress. I think ill try the socks group on Wednesday.

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Post #: 5

RE: Looking for a Mentor. - 5/23/2005 7:11:17 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

My pleasure. I just know how and where to search for munches. I remember how hard it was to find them when I was first getting into the scene, so I try to provide links when suggesting someone go to a local munch. I really encourage you to go. It can be scary the first time. If you feel that might be an issue for you, write to the email address on the site. Once they know you are coming, they will generally watch out for you and make you welcome.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

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RE: Looking for a Mentor. - 5/25/2005 10:12:20 AM

Domin81

Posts: 66
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline

I agree with all of the suggestions to get out into the community...it is where growth really happens. IMHO a mentor is someone that teaches and advises but never plays with you.

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El Gordo
http://www.bound2please.com
Quality Toys & Restraints Made in Canada

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RE: Looking for a Mentor. - 5/25/2005 3:41:39 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

It wouldn't hurt for you to allow others to view your profile. I'd suggest that you have a picture in it as well. This way you're atleast letting us know that you would like to be chased and caught by the right Dom.

Other than that it's time you start attending populated munches and such.

best of luck

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I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

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RE: Looking for a Mentor. - 5/28/2005 3:36:12 PM

Davesgirl

Posts: 89
Joined: 5/13/2005
Status: offline

greetings A/all.......

I had noticed the wealth of knowledge on the local munches here, and was wondering if anyone could suggest one for my area. Im very new to this, as is my Master. So, finding local resources and others is a bit hard. We're in NW Ohio, if anyone could help, it would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance

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RE: Looking for a Mentor. - 5/28/2005 5:31:35 PM

Faramir

Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress

Rather than search for a mentor, join a munch group and make friends. Over time, you'll learn a lot from these people. As you progress, usually one of your closer friends in the group will take it upon themselves to mentor you. If not, watch and learn.

I think that is good advice. You don't go out explicitly looking for a mentor outside of an institution that mandates it (and those usually don't work well). Mentoring is an informal process - meet people, make friends, and the mentoring will come.

As a side note, I persoanlly find it a huge red-flag when someone comes to me for mentoring, because in the past it was been a gay or gay-curious man who hoped I wou;d dom them. That's not my bag, and I am wary of anyone asking for mentoring. I'm not a mind-reader and am not saying that's your motivation, but just FYI that creeps some of us out.

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RE: Looking for a Mentor. - 6/13/2005 10:51:21 AM

testlimit

Posts: 47
Joined: 6/11/2005
Status: offline

I've seen the term "munch" several times on this site....what exactly is it? I've got that it's a gathering of people in the lifestyle, apparently a casual one. It's like a brunch, just a get together to chat and get to know one another?

Also Mz. Beach, would you happen to know where I could look to find something of this nature around South Alabama? Or Eastern Mississippi or the far west end of Florida?

(I'm Dom, but not very experianced....not really looking for a group to "play" with, just looking for others who share my interest.)

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RE: Looking for a Mentor. - 6/18/2005 9:59:31 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I'm not Beach but if you go to this website...it is ran by a wonderful woman living in California and has been our resource for year's.

It has links to every state and even some worldwide. It will also answer questions as to what is a munch.

http://www.drkdesyre.com/meetppl/orgs/orgs.html

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Post #: 12