RE: "Manners" incompatible with commands ?

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RE: "Manners" incompatible with commands ? - 6/5/2007 8:58:44 AM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

Not to get too derailed here from the OP but in addition to ensuring clear communication from the dominant, which I too believe to be essential, one also has to recognize if/when a submissive is being purposely obtuse. This can also occur when a sub knows very well what the intention of a particular command is but chooses, purposely, to comply with the strictest words that were uttered. While the responsibility for more direct communication may very well be with the dominant, I don't let such instances go unmentioned either.

Oh, my goodness. Now that doesn't sound like a slave to me, that sounds like my husband and how he conveniently interpretes things strictly when he doesn't want to do something.

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RE: "Manners" incompatible with commands ? - 6/5/2007 9:10:02 AM

undergroundsea

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston
This can also occur when a sub knows very well what the intention of a particular command is but chooses, purposely, to comply with the strictest words that were uttered.

You said you wanted water! You didn't say you wanted it in a glass and not a table spoon! ;-)

I see your point. I clarify that I do because I see the example I give to fit the scenario you describe in definition but not in spirit. That is, while the example I give is more in a spirit to be cheeky or towards humor, I see that the same can also be done with less than genuine intentions.

Cheers,

Sea

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RE: "Manners" incompatible with commands ? - 6/5/2007 9:11:20 AM

MaamJay

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Joined: 9/2/2005
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Oh My ex-hubby was a genius at picking out the "letter of the law" within the command too LOL! One of the reasons why he's the EX!

That said, I'm with everyone else here in saying that manners do not detract from Dominance. Yes there are times during play when I will deliberately omit the usual niceties for the purpose of enhancing the play dynamic ... but I will never be the "cold bitch Domme" it seems a lot of subs fantasise! In fact, I spell that out in My profile as I got so fed up with subs approaching Me who want that and only that. I am basically a warm, caring and affectionate person and My commands must fit within that context of the real Dominant Me.

Master is also very polite and considerate, and doesn't feel that this diminishes His Dominance one little bit. However I did chuckle a bit when I read about the "would you" questions and people's different interpretations of them! As His slave, i do have a little habit of saying things like "Master, would You mind taking the dogs outside to do their business while i finish writing the shopping list and then W/we can get out sooner". He tends to feel this is a backhanded way of me giving HIM an order LOL ... i maintain that He has a real choice! He can choose not to do so, leave it to me ... but then don't bitch at me if W/we are then later leaving LOL! Seems entirely fair to me ...

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: "Manners" incompatible with commands ? - 6/5/2007 9:20:02 AM

undergroundsea

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From: Austin, TX
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While I described ways subspace can be enhanced without the use of please and thank you, manners or use of elegant language is not a turn-off. For me what matters most is the overall confidence and air with which the words are spoken.

Cheers,

Sea

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Post #: 44

RE: "Manners" incompatible with commands ? - 6/5/2007 9:31:36 AM

MistressSassy66

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Joined: 11/5/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tornaway

    I am a considerate , and well mannered human , and I prefer me that way .     That said , certainly not always - but sometimes , I find myself adding a 'please" or "thank you" to a command , and subsequent compliance , of a sub .   After mulling it over , it seems those niceties are out of place in the D/s arena - from a Dominant point of view , and somehow will dilute the impact of what I feel should be a command - not a request .    Though I'll say I've never had a problem with getting immediate response from a sub , regardless of the words chosen - as I've been told the changing tone of my voice carries much impact .

    Those little courtesies can always return in the rest of life .

     So - I'd love to hear from both Dommes and subs/slaves alike - have you ever done this yourself - or not ?   What are your feelings regarding the delivery of verbal commands ?

    And what might it be like to be on the receiving end of a "sugar coated" command ?   Is it then , any less compelling - or perhaps more so , depending on context ?

                           Thank you all !

I am always saying please and thank you or even wow you did a great job.
I see nothing wrong with having Manners.
Just because they are My submissive doesnt mean I have to be rude to
them.
The old saying of "You can catch more flys with honey than vinagar"
still rings true.

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In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

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RE: "Manners" incompatible with commands ? - 6/5/2007 10:40:58 AM

maledave7

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I do appreciate good manners. I do feel that the tone in a person’s voice carries a lot of weight. I think that not all subs/slaves are alike. I feel that some response better by the Domme giving orders loud and clear. I feel others response better by a Domme having a softer voice. I feel that she stills expects him to obey her.
If my Mistress asks me to do something for her, I would desire even more to obey her. I feel that it shows that she has a caring heart toward me. That is not to say I would not enjoy her telling me to do something for her.

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Post #: 46

RE: "Manners" incompatible with commands ? - 6/5/2007 5:35:07 PM

LadyHeart

Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
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The most formidable Domme I know is also the most scrupulously polite. In these days of lax manners, very formal behaviour can be extremely intimidating! Domination has little to do with whips and floggers, or please and thank you - it is a mind set, and shines through no matter what.
:))
LH

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"BDSM is not an excuse for bad manners."

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RE: "Manners" incompatible with commands ? - 6/5/2007 8:40:54 PM

Kitte9

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They are acceptable or not as you choose. I prefer them because that is how I was raised, and it's always nice to hear, but not necessary.

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RE: "Manners" incompatible with commands ? - 6/5/2007 11:10:00 PM

Einzelganger

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Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Orlando, FL
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My former Mistress almost always asked me to do things, very politely and sweetly. Her tone of voice was not rough and barking. Unless she so desired, it was also not sexy; it was usually all business, but very polite nonetheless. She never even raised her voice at me when I was being corrected; she knew that it sunk in much faster, much deeper, when she allowed all traces of emotion to drain from her voice. I will never forget that quiet, low, even voice devoid of all character. I'm hearing it in my mind even now.

However...I tried my best to obey, and to the best of my abilities. I strived to exceed her expectations. My motivation was the fact that I loved her and would do nearly anything for her...and she knew it. I loved to see her smile that extra little bit when I knew I'd done better than expected. She could make a simple, sweetly worded request and I would jump to my feet as though she'd barked it at me with a cattle prod crackling threateningly in her hand. But I also fully understood the consequences of my actions, should I hesitate or fail. That sweet voice carried a myriad of meanings to me, all clear, without a shadow of doubt.

So, would I consider barking orders essential to a domme, before I followed said commands? No...I'm not that stupid. I know full well that, as was said to children in the 50's, mine is not to question why; mine is but to do or die. As always, just my $0.02 cents...

-Einzelgänger

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RE: "Manners" incompatible with commands ? - 6/5/2007 11:14:22 PM

MsRose

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I'll agree with most of what people have already presented in response to the OP. Sometimes I forget my manners when I'm giving a command, or in the midst of an involved scene. But I mind my p's and q's because that's just how I was raised. It's hard being English at times, but I don't regret having been brought up to respect good breeding and proper manners.

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RE: "Manners" incompatible with commands ? - 6/6/2007 7:20:26 AM

BossySSBBW

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I was raised by very strict old line parents. Even if I am telling someone to do something, I will probably add a please and thank you. It does not mean that I do want it done the way I want and when I want without question. It just means old habits drilled into me for a lifetime are hard to break. Switching my manners off and on are not an option for me. Just as I do not find them an option for anyone else. I make sure to stress that just because I said please, do not think it lets you slide in any way about doing what I asked.

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