a question with the term switch, top, bottom

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a question with the term switch, top, bottom - 6/5/2007 8:09:36 PM

NewIndyDom

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I''m fairly new to the life style but would consider my self a Dom, I'm not really sure what a top or bottom really is. If my partner and I were intament and I would always call the shots, I would always have control,thats dominant. Now there is what I would say "vanilla" sex, or makeing love really..with no restraints and if she wanted to get on top so be it with out me keeping control. Say once in maybe 6 months or what ever I would let her take complet control, she would seduce Me, bind Me, screw Me..what ever. Now, would that consider Me as a switch? Also, a top is always dominant and a bottom is always a submisive but take oposite rolls? Or is this completly false? Say if I'm in "Master" mode and she would change positions with out me saying, then that would be a submisive topping?

< Message edited by NewIndyDom -- 6/5/2007 8:15:35 PM >

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RE: a question with the term switch, top, bottom - 6/5/2007 8:40:07 PM

Lynae78

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ok despite the fact we tend to interchange the terms, Top/Dom & bottom/sub they are different distictions. a Top (or a bottom) is your postion in a scene. A Dom (or submissive.) is your life role. Whether or not you like it when your girl has control determines whether or not you are a switch. And by the way, just because a man or a woman might be on top of me, doesn't mean they are in control. **grinz** Also there are "service tops" those who have the ability to top, but do not get any or alot of sexual pleasure out of it. And there are also Dominant masochists. A Dom maso is still very much in control of the scene. I hope that didn't confuse you, it did me 6 mo ago!

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RE: a question with the term switch, top, bottom - 6/5/2007 9:15:26 PM

NewIndyDom

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O of course..I was just useing the "girl on top" in general. I think so, now saying I am in "Master" mode and she decided to do what she wants...I have a whole other problem lol. I can't say I would like her being in 100% control...as I havent yet..but the idea turns me on..but when that happends its to be seen and I can defintly say her being in control all the time is not Me so I know I'm not submissive. What exactly is the Top bottom's roll? I take it Top is the dominant in that scene and the bottom is the submissive in that scene? Thats if the Dom sub rolls change regulary with the couple if the rolls dont change often then Top bottom wouldnt be an issue?

< Message edited by NewIndyDom -- 6/5/2007 9:18:33 PM >

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RE: a question with the term switch, top, bottom - 6/5/2007 9:48:34 PM

Lynae78

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As far as I see it, a "switch" couple isn't a D/s couple, to me that is a completely different dynamic. (even if a Dom allows their sub to take over, the Dom cannot completely submit to their submissive, because of their dynamic.) Personally as a switch, if I had a submissive I would prefer just submitting to someone else. Otherwise it would get complicated in my head. lol.

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RE: a question with the term switch, top, bottom - 6/5/2007 10:07:43 PM

NewIndyDom

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hhmm intersting. well then maybe I still am a Dom, as just talking about it, it would be a great experiance with just that scene. But to Me I would have to regain controll when we were done....so regardless..still something to think about I think...complicated to say the lease

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RE: a question with the term switch, top, bottom - 6/6/2007 8:11:31 AM

MasterFireMaam

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Think of it as mix and match. A Master or Dominant can be both Top and bottom, sadist and masochist, as they choose. The rules aren't rigid. If you're doing what you want and things are happening in a manner that pleases you, then keep doing it. Physical position and sensation really has nothing to do with how your mind or personality works.

Master Fire

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RE: a question with the term switch, top, bottom - 6/6/2007 8:48:08 AM

Lashra

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You could be a Dominant that likes to bottom occasionally. I know that I do. I am a Dominant female and I have a submissive male. Occasionally I have him top which means I control the scene by telling him what to do. I never give up my dominance and he never stops being submissive.

~Lashra

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RE: a question with the term switch, top, bottom - 6/7/2007 3:48:56 PM

aparootsa

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One thing that may help you find who and what you are is to not think so much in terms of sex as in terms of play. When you do bondage, role-playing, punishment, and so forth, are you normally the one in charge? Are you comfortable being the one who defines and directs the action? Do you like the feeling of surrender? And perhaps most importably in terms of this forum, do your preferences have distinct changes, and do those changes feel natural, or is one role the exception (like a vacation). That said, sexual identity is a big part, too - I just tend to identify by play role more than sexual.

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RE: a question with the term switch, top, bottom - 6/8/2007 5:32:09 AM

darkinshadows

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Not as complicated as you might think...

I identify as a submissive Top. I am submissive within the relationship and dynamic, but I have the ability to Top should it be required by my dominant. Darcy considers himself dominant and allows me to top on occasion. Ultimately it is his choice.

I do not switch roles, but I submit to the 'moment' as desired (if that makes any sense).

A dominant can be any 'role' - bottom, masochist, sadist, top etc - as can a s-type.

Switches can make very wonderful D/s couples or poly relationships.

Peace

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RE: a question with the term switch, top, bottom - 6/10/2007 5:09:34 AM

Elorin

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Top - person doing
bottom - person being done to
dominant - one in control
submissive - one giving up control

Very basic definitions, but when Sir says "give me a massage" and I do so, he is the dominant and he is bottoming. I am the submissive and I am topping.
When Sir says "lay down" and spanks me, he is the dominant and is topping, I am the submissive and am bottoming.

Top or bottom is about who is actively "doing" something. Which means in 69 you are both Tops AND bottoms at the same time. :)

Sounds to me like you need to not worry about the top/bottom distinction. You have a sub and are a Dom and are happily in control. Don't worry about it.

~Elorin

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RE: a question with the term switch, top, bottom - 6/11/2007 8:34:03 AM

NewIndyDom

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elorin you hit it on the nail. That makes alot of sence to Me thanks. I have been thinking has nothing really to do with titles, If I feel dominant 354 days of the year and in control...then I would say I am dominant...but "on vacation" as one put it submitting to the woman....maybe one could even say I am in control by just alowing her to fully dominate Me? Thats a brain teaser I know.

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