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Trouble finishing - 5/28/2005 1:40:51 PM   
pheonissa


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Hello. My husband and i are new to this lifestyle but i have a problem. I have always had trouble getting to orgasm, even with stimulation. I've been to my Dr. and he says that there's nothing wrong with me but we would still like for me to finish. Does anyone have any suggestions?
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RE: Trouble finishing - 5/28/2005 6:10:50 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		1. See a sex therapist
2. have your husband subscribe to Mens Health
3. Subscribe to Women's health
4. Buy the "Best Sex Ever" Videos
5. The discovery channel is to air a show about sex and partners this June
6. start buying and reading more erotic materials
7. adust your diet with foods envolving B vitamins, selenium, Cinimen, oysters, shrimp, and a little chocolate.
8. Even before oral stimulation/forplay think about putting yourself in the mood. Massages, lots of kissing/fondoling, and teasing before and while you are tied up and such.
9. Both of you start exercising. It will feel you with more energy. Endurance just like the energizer bunny to keep going and going and going will eventually get you there.

Do atleast 2, 7, 8, and 9 and I garuntee that you'll be getting more sensations soon.

< Message edited by FangsNfeet -- 5/28/2005 6:13:34 PM >

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RE: Trouble finishing - 5/28/2005 7:17:34 PM   
MzBerlin


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline 		I have three words for you-
HITACHI MAGIC WAND

An amazing gadget, lots of mutual fun and great for 'forced' orgasms.
-B

you can pick one up at www.thepleasurechest.com


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also- you can catch me on www.ksexradio.com every tuesday. I co-host Baadmasters' Dungeon!!

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RE: Trouble finishing - 5/29/2005 4:00:07 PM   
Sweeticing


Posts: 164
Joined: 12/30/2004
Status: offline 		I think one thing that happens is people rush to have a orgasm. try slowing things down have lots of time and no interruptions. Set the mood scented candles are nice, also the thrill of a new environment helps such as outside in the woods. worried about being caught go camping and have the privacy of the tent. Then try some fun sex toys, I love hot warming oils to heat things up. don't do the same thing over and over use different things like tongue then fingers then toys and so forth. Hopes this helps.

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RE: Trouble finishing - 5/29/2005 10:03:52 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Can you orgasm by masturbation on your own?

Have you ever been able to orgasm with your husband?


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RE: Trouble finishing - 5/30/2005 9:36:09 AM   
pheonissa


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you for your replies, we're going to try some of them.

Gloria,
In response to your questions, I can usually orgasm by masterbation on my own and yes, I have been able to have an orgasm with my husband (but only about once out of every 8 or 9 times we try).

Pheo

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RE: Trouble finishing - 5/30/2005 9:40:03 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

In response to your questions, I can usually orgasm by masterbation on my own and yes, I have been able to have an orgasm with my husband (but only about once out of every 8 or 9 times we try).


Sounds like a mental thing. First diagnosis of course. Are you 100% comfortable with him? Are you open enough to take his hand in your's and guide him to an orgasm?
Teach him to do the same thing you do to yourself in other words. Just your hand over his.


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RE: Trouble finishing - 5/30/2005 9:58:33 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		well, i could write an entire encyclopedia on hard comers, as I am sure most others could. First it is normal (or perhaps, not abnormal is more like it). Mechanically, you can tense and relax your leg and groin muscles, rhythmically....savor the sensations...focus on the feeling, and you are certainly able to fantasize, day dream or whatever you call it as it is occuring in the buildup, so much more, communicate with your parter obviously, if you can make yourself come, show him how (this can be construed as masturbators are able to be trained and possibly therefore doms....lol) Concentrate, concencrate...shut everything else out .....it is ok to be a little selfish about coming.........Take your rightful place....I am gonna get mine, you better get yours.......LOL

Ron

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RE: Trouble finishing - 5/31/2005 12:12:22 AM   
Lepidoptera


Posts: 161
Joined: 4/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

quote:

In response to your questions, I can usually orgasm by masterbation on my own and yes, I have been able to have an orgasm with my husband (but only about once out of every 8 or 9 times we try).


Sounds like a mental thing. First diagnosis of course. Are you 100% comfortable with him? Are you open enough to take his hand in your's and guide him to an orgasm?
Teach him to do the same thing you do to yourself in other words. Just your hand over his.




Some of us just aren't built to orgasm through intercourse- some of us are. I think in many cases it's just how we're built, physically. Intercourse does almost nothing for me- I need clitoral stimulation. I know other women who enjoy vaginal stimulation much more than clitoral. Others can orgasm just from have their ass eaten out, and other need to have their labias played with. We all have different areas that are more sensitive than others. Some need to fucked from behind roughly to orgasm, and others (like me unfortunately) need it to be slow, missionary position with lots of lube.

Needless to say, I never orgasm during play : ). With my former Master and Mistress, they would use me, and then tell me to masturbate and leave the room. It worked really well- I like the orgasms I give myself better than any others.

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RE: Trouble finishing - 5/31/2005 3:41:42 AM   
Rayne58


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline 		I was able to orgasm alone but not with a partner until I met Master. He showed me my Gspot and we discovered I am a gusher/squirter and I can now have extended/multiple orgasms from Gspot play. They feel different from the clitoral ones, they seem to go right through my whole body like waves rather than concentrated on clitoris/vagina.

We have also invested in some new toys, when we got together all I had was a standard plastic vibe. Now we use vibrating nipple clamps, vibrating bullet (works well inserted in the anus while Master does G spot play with His fingers), and we also have a couple of jelly vibes one of which has "rabbit ears" on it too *Can you tell Master loves vibrating toys )* I'm also going to get one of the Hitachi magic wands (our next investment).

He usually loves to tease me, building me up and then retreating, over and over, until I'm begging for Him to let me cum. There has never been any pressure on me to orgasm, I just enjoyed what was happening and let myself go with the feelings He was generating with His fingers and it just happened - now it's getting like Pavlov's dogs, I feel His fingers on my Gspot and I'm on the edge in a couple of minutes (if that).


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RE: Trouble finishing - 5/31/2005 4:30:17 PM   
pheonissa


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Whew, didn't realize one person could be so busy. Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to ya'll. Anyway, thanks so much for all the suggestions and ideas. This could get very interesting.

Gloris, in response to your questions. Yes, i am 100% comfortable with him. This is something we have been working on since we first met (i was a very repressed person). And yes, I am willing to guide him but how do i go about proposing the idea without hurting his feelings or making him feel inadequate in any way?

Pheo

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RE: Trouble finishing - 5/31/2005 5:33:23 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Yes, i am 100% comfortable with him. This is something we have been working on since we first met (i was a very repressed person). And yes, I am willing to guide him but how do i go about proposing the idea without hurting his feelings or making him feel inadequate in any way?


He already knows there is an issue, correct? If so it should'nt be too hard. A lot of times we need to guide our significant other's. What floats my boat may not float yours. So, men should'nt assume they know how to manipulate the female body just because they have managed to do so with one or two.

If he knows there is an issue. He wants you to orgasm he should be open to allowing you to help him. Just to show him the right spot. How to caress or whatever. Don't make it an orgasm or die type of thing. Just go slow. No stress. If he can manage to get you to orgasm under his hand all the better. Don't allow him to get frustrated if he cannot.
Something like honey do you want to watch me masturbate, hey here give me your hand.

If he can manage with his hand to get you off...even during intercourse he can still get you off that way. It is a starting point.

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RE: Trouble finishing - 6/5/2005 1:37:02 PM   
woodsbunny


Posts: 20
Joined: 2/26/2005
Status: offline 		I would add that when you show your significant other how you masturbate that the room be well lit, that he is positioned to watch you, and that both of you realize that it is going to take some time to learn the proper touch, stroke and rhythm. Lubricant is sometimes helpful. Refresher sessions are also needed. This is an important skill he is learning.

The Illustrated Guide to Extended Massive Orgasm by by Steve and Vera Bodansky gives detailed and well-illustrated instructions on how masturbate persons of either sex. Treat him after he treats you.

Woodsbunny

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RE: Trouble finishing - 6/6/2005 3:12:45 PM   
Mia1978


Posts: 41
Joined: 5/10/2005
Status: offline 		A few ideas here.

One, you could "show" him by surprise without being "in his face" about it. For instance, when he comes home from work just be there on the family room floor masturbating. He'll probably be shocked and totally turned on, and hopefully he'll watch long enough to get some ideas about your depth preference, rhythm, if you play with your breasts....

Another idea, get some accessories for him to wear (like cock rings or ribbed items with extended tips...) that can really hit your spots. If he doesn't like the idea that HE isn't good enough for you without the accessories, then consider:

Timing. Sometimes if I'm too wet or too tired I can't get mine. So sometimes we have to make me get mine sooner rather than later. Your husband may need to learn the art of "build-up" too. For me, the caresses and teasing while on the verge of penetration is enough to almost make me cry for it. Once he gets me all cramped up inside, yearning for him, the penetration can almost instantly turn to orgasm - no technique needed on his part, just intense, long lasting forplay.

Just ideas. Without getting too deep into it all, if he doesn't stay hard enough...that could effect your ability. Or if you reach the "now or never" point and he doesn't know and your ability passes...

It can be hard to tell him some of the stuff he needs to know without making him feel inadequate. Finding ways to bring up little tid-bits of info when NOT talking about your sex life can help. If he works on cars or fixes things around the house you can make comments like, "ew...that's just like when you ______ and that sends me over the edge!"

Ya, I could write a novel here. lol! Hope some of this helps!!

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RE: Trouble finishing - 6/6/2005 3:45:39 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		Another idea--i always orgasm faster after i've looked at the bondage pictures on hogtied. Click on "updates" for good viewing. It tends to make me fantacize more.

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"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

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