RE: Strength and vulnerability

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RE: Strength and vulnerability - 6/18/2007 6:15:54 PM

SlaveBlutarsky

Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline

quote:

These are two qualities I absolutely adore in a man, and qualities that really feed my femdom lust. I'm curious how many other femdoms find these two to be attractive when combined, and how they impact their attraction to a man. For example, I have yet to hear of a femdom who would confess she is interested in "weak, simpering" men or pathetic worms.

As for vulnerability, that's a tricky one. I am really interested in hearing how submissive men view vulnerability.

Well, strength is an easy one. i need to be strong. Not only for myself, but those I care about. If I can't be strong, I can't be the man I want to be. A Domme once told me I was strong for all and weak for one. It pretty much sums it up for me.

Vulnerability is different. I have trouble being vulnerable even to someone I serve.

There are parts of me I fear coming out, or being exposed. There is still shame associated to some of the things I feel and want, so it's difficult for me to discuss and even verbalize them.

quote:

When are you able to feel vulnerable for a woman?

Very rarely

quote:

What does vulnerability feel like?

A mix of shame and strength. It's like a weight has been lifted, but there is still the fear of rejection or something along those lines.

quote:

Are you unwilling to let yourself feel vulnerable to a woman you do not know?

In person, yes. Although I have opened up more to friends I've never met other than online.

quote:

Have you ever gotten a sense that a femdom is attracted to your vulnerability or turned on by it? If so, how do you work to show it - to offer it, to allow it?

Yes, but I'm usually in such a mental pile of goo I can't change the progression or alter how I offer it. Once I'm vulnerable, basically she can control how and where it goes.

quote:

I admit the last two questions are the ones that really have me thinking. It's clear to me that vulnerability is a HUGE turn on. In my experience, some men guard themselves (moreso vanilla guys) and getting them to a place of vulnerability is a challenge. Others, when they see that it turns me on, allow themselves to be more vulnerable.

It sounds complicated but it's so simple in many ways. When I was just a teenager dating, I was so incredibly turned on when a guy was nervous on a date with me. If he was shy or uneasy or afraid to make a move; that, to me, was a type of vulnerability. I don't want to get into a long talk about what "vulnerability" means, but I do find it to be incredibly interesting....and arousing.

It's interesting, even in the few dates I've had with Dommes in vanilla settings, i'm still the calm, suave, debonair Billy Dee Williams cat I always am.

It's not until the dominance is exerted that I get nervous.

Then I'm an f'in retard.

_____________________________

Strong for all, weak for one

(in reply to Vendaval)

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Post #: 21

RE: Strength and vulnerability - 6/18/2007 9:09:25 PM

submarriner

Posts: 62
Joined: 5/10/2006
Status: offline

AAkasha,
Allow me to share what I believe an answer to your question. I am a submissive male, who is attracted to a Dominat Female. I have served Pro-dommes who are strangers, as well as non-pro Dommes on a first time basis. The pros are not threatening as they have no interest in cutting the hand that feeds them. Pros are more into serviceing the client than non-pros, and as such the bottoms control the scene rather than the top. Pros are easier as there is emotional detachment, and intimacy is very limited if a professional relationship is maintained (I mention this as many Pros do further their client relationship into intimate personal relationships with that special client). I don't fear what damage can be done to the body as time wll heal most injuries. Damage to the emotional state as in a loss of confidence, self esteem, or ego has far more linguring consequences, and it is this fear that most men, macho or otherwise, fear most. If a stranger (woman or man) tries to damage the emotional state of a man, there is a protective shield preventing the damage as there is no emotional attachment. If a man lowers his shield, allows himself to open his vulnerable soft side he is much more likely to suffer damage. Shields up, and attacks are tossed aside as insignificant harpings of crows; shields down, and he considers the attack as truth, shaking the very nature of his existence. He has credible doubts enter his thoughts, his invulnerability is challenged, and his confidence is questioned. It is this confidence that gives men the credence that they can conquer the world. Take away a portion of this confidence and his ability to fight the world is affected, and his drive is lessened. So when are men able to open up to a woman, when trust is formed sufficient to ease the fear of the consequences of lost confidence. When such a trust is formed, a man will follow his Mistress to the ends of the world for the end of time.

(in reply to Vendaval)

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Post #: 22