have a question

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

have a question

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> have a question

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

have a question - 5/29/2005 7:39:52 PM

dommetaz77

Posts: 6
Joined: 2/26/2005
Status: offline

how would you like to be ask to be a slave or sub

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: have a question - 5/29/2005 9:46:13 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

How would I like to be asked to be somebodies slave or sub?

I think that is what you are asking. Quite frankly when I was looking I found the dominants. I had certain guidelines they had to fit in. I knew exactly the type of person I wanted...needed. Took a couple of year's to find him.
When I did I held on...the relationship pursued past the vanilla phase and here we are a few month's over 6 years strong.
I think everyone's answer will be a bit different. Although that is the case with myself.

(in reply to dommetaz77)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: have a question - 5/29/2005 11:07:08 PM

Lepidoptera

Posts: 161
Joined: 4/14/2005
Status: offline

I think that's a similar question to "how would you want someone to ask you to marry them?" and it's really the same answer. Everyone is different.

Personally, I detest ritual. I've never had an official collaring that ended in a successful relationship. I had one vanilla ex who expressed to me how odd it was- we were definitely boyfriend and girlfriend, but we never called each other that, nor acknowledged our relationship. We weren't officially exclusive, but we were. We slept together, had pet names for each other, engaged in long philisophical conversations with each other late into the night. For me, treat me like your slave/sub (if that's the dynamic we have), and that's what I AM. I don't need ceremonies and names to qualify my relationship with you.

On the other hand, the stereotypical vanilla women always asks "what are we?" She wants every letter of the relationship spelled out, so she knows the man is on the same page as she. Some women want it spelled out in airplane exhaust fumes (although I think "Will you be my slave?" in the sky would freak a few 'nilla people out), some women want a nice dinner out, some want it done in the comfort of their own home.

You have to know what kind of person you potential sub/slave is. Do the like formality or do they detest it? Do they like gratuitious displays of affection or do they find it superfluous?

(in reply to sub4hire)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: have a question - 5/30/2005 9:31:10 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

I don't think I'd want to be asked.

I'd want our relationship to get there naturally, and I'd want to be asked to what degree do I want to be expected to serve.

I find that in my relationships I tend to take a submissive role naturally. I like it when my partner evovles into the dominant role. The conversation then happens about just how much/how long we want these things to go on.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to Lepidoptera)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: have a question - 5/30/2005 7:00:57 PM

cheekybottom

Posts: 69
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline

From my view point that isn’t something you ask anyone to be unless you are asking them to be your sub or your slave.

I’m submissive foremost, but my spirit rests in slavehood, and so I can be sub and submit, but slave only to someone spiritual.

~d~

_____________________________

Kiss me I'm Irish, Spank me I'm Italian.

(in reply to dommetaz77)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: have a question - 5/31/2005 7:03:42 AM

DemonAngel

Posts: 36
Joined: 5/1/2005
Status: offline

Is the person aware of submission in the first place.If yes, then theres no harm in showing an interesting in the person just like in any relationship.If no, then maybe by some books or try approaching the concept during a discussion.Talk about how you prefere to be in control>unless your a switch then explain how you like to experiment in power exchanges<you can't make someone submissive if its not in them to want to or natural.But if that person is willing to learn, then its just like anything new in a relationship because it takes time and work.

Demon

(in reply to dommetaz77)

Profile

Post #: 6