Do I fit in this catagory?

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Do I fit in this catagory? - 6/13/2007 4:52:54 PM

surmatise

Posts: 13
Joined: 6/5/2007
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I am not sure if I am a switch or dominant. In vanilla situations I tend to be very power hungry (almost to much for my own good) but sexually I lean more toward being controlled by a female. Anyway does this make me switch or dom?

"Do not hold back and never surrender"

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RE: Do I fit in this catagory? - 6/14/2007 2:30:28 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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The question is a little to vague to answer, but to me, it could be you are a bedroom submissive or you are a Dominant who enjoys to bottom. Switch to me is more an 'across the board' kinda thing. If you feel able to open up a little more, it would assist with the answer. Best of thoughts.

Peace

the.dark.

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RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to surmatise)

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RE: Do I fit in this catagory? - 6/14/2007 5:05:53 AM

InnocentSinfor1

Posts: 4
Joined: 3/11/2007
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This is what I tell people on collarme when they go into My room the Switch_Forum. It's what you desire. Don't go by personalities. A lot of people get personality vs role mixed up a lot. I Have a very Dominant personality, but I have the desire to sub sometimes. And then other times I desire to be Dominant. It's when you can do both roles comfortably in the BDSM lifestyle that makes you a switch. That doesn't mean you will be able to be both roles with one person. Even though I am a switch I can't Top the person I bottom to or vise versa. It's what I desire when I make that connection with that person. I can't live 24/7 in either role if that makes sense. If I focus on one role too long my other side starts to starve. Finding what works and finding the balance is the key. It's not easy. but once you find it, it works.

(in reply to surmatise)

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RE: Do I fit in this catagory? - 6/14/2007 7:11:22 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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Further to what .dark. said, it's always tricky trying to shoehorn yourself into any one particular category. I am definitely a dominant by nature, and in the 'real world' am prone to taking the lead, making the decisions (though not without a degree of democratic discussion) and being the one in control.

In the bedroom however I love to play the submissive role, to be topped by .dark., and we have grown together to the point where we effortlessly and wordlessly are able to shift the balance of power, sometimes several times in a very short space of time. Does this make me a switch? To be honest I'm not sure, but I don't really worry too much about it because we fit together quite nicely and whatever we each bring to one another wirks just fine.

Bottom line is, go with what feels right and comfortable (or not as the case may be

) and don't worry too much about labels and classifications.

Darcy

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RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to InnocentSinfor1)

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RE: Do I fit in this catagory? - 6/14/2007 7:54:58 AM

Dini

Posts: 44
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: InnocentSinfor1

I Have a very Dominant personality, but I have the desire to sub sometimes. And then other times I desire to be Dominant. It's when you can do both roles comfortably in the BDSM lifestyle that makes you a switch. That doesn't mean you will be able to be both roles with one person. Even though I am a switch I can't Top the person I bottom to or vise versa. It's what I desire when I make that connection with that person. I can't live 24/7 in either role if that makes sense. If I focus on one role too long my other side starts to starve. Finding what works and finding the balance is the key. It's not easy. but once you find it, it works.

Finally someone who understands.. I am a very Dominant person in my every day life, and as a regular in my local scene I am known as Domme.. BUT i love to switch... with the right partner i will happily and contently submit, but this can and will never be a full time arrangement. To me it all happens in that instant of connecting with the person, I/i will know wether my role with respect to taht person will be Domme/sub... As a rule I call myself a Domme, since with most people that is the role I invariably take on and relish... however when that special individual does come along i will submit fully and without reservation for the duration of the play...

(in reply to InnocentSinfor1)

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RE: Do I fit in this catagory? - 6/15/2007 12:02:47 PM

arayofsunshine55

Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline

I surrender to Dady not because I am a submissive person but becuase surrendering to him makes me wet. I love it. There are many men and women who surrender, who are submissive in relationship but do not have a submissive personality type. And many of them do not switch, not in relationship to their partner, not in relationship to other partners. These boxes and/or labels can be as broad as you like them to be, Reality is, IMO of course, if you want to surrender sexually to a woman, calling yourself a dom will not be that helpful.

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Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to surmatise)

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