RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (Full Version)

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angelic -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/16/2007 9:09:07 PM)

mistoferin, ... you have said perfectly what i have been trying to... you did it so much better than i ever could... thank you very much.




slaveluci -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/16/2007 9:24:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

angelic, I hear what you are saying....or at least I think I do but you can correct me if I am wrong. I have indeed seen some things on here that are horrific.I have often said that there are some times when I leave here that I walk away feeling as though there is not enough hot water and soap in the world to make me feel clean again. We have taken the whole "your kink is ok/my kink is ok" thing to such an extreme that the fear of being labelled "intolerant" or "judgemental" has us at times turning our backs and keeping our mouths shut even as our stomachs turn in revolt. We allow the fear of not being seen as "politically correct" to override all of our common sense.

Some may say that I am trying to justify intolerance. If it is opposed to limitless tolerance than yes, I guess I am. But I don't believe that in order to "belong" and be considered a member of this lifestyle we have to accept anything and everything that others do. There are some sick and twisted fucks who shamelessly take refuge under the umbrella that this lifestyle provides. They use this lifestyle and their self appointed titles to justify their abusive or dishonest behaviors, they act out their sick perversions and proudly defend them as being their "kink".... and if someone dares to cry foul they slap that "intolerant" trump card on the table.

Well you know, I really don't mind being labelled intolerant or judgmental. I much prefer it to choking down the rising bile that sometimes comes....

[sm=applause.gif] and [sm=flowers.gif]...........that's all I can say, Erin..........luci




WhiplashSmile -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/16/2007 9:25:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I felt the same about your post.

So does this mean you would toss some loose change in the Save a Kid Jar at the store checkout and pretend the drunks and their kids were not there at all? LOL




domiguy -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/16/2007 9:27:32 PM)

O.k.  But where do you begin and how do you determine who has crossed "your" line of decency...There is a thread where someone is discussing the reality of becoming a "pony."  Is that depraved enough to warrant an intervention?  Or is it someone who is being abused?...Is it \mental or physical or both? And how much?

There are plenty of complete boobs out here...And it would seem that every person who has participated in this thread has little problem with speaking their mind and calling others on a position that seems to lack sense.

If you are active in your bdsm Community then I guess you could try to police it....But I would think that your energies might be better spent on helping others who not only could use your help but would welcome it with open arms.




angelic -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/16/2007 9:28:47 PM)

Ya know Whiplash, other people did come and go while this was happening... and simply turned a blind eye... it is the same blind eye  some people here turn. 




LotusSong -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/16/2007 9:35:23 PM)

Angelic,
 
What you did was admirable.  I would have done the same thing.
 
As far as the total acceptance of everything in WIITWD: not all the shit flushes
I don't try to be "uber"-kewel by accepting every cockamamie thing people do.  Some things are just downright stupid.




Aswad -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/16/2007 9:35:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

They walked out and I followed and the less drunk guy got in behind the wheel of the car with the two girls in back.  I asked him if he was ok to drive… (of course he was not).  I got into my car fully intending on getting this guy’s license plate and dialing 911.  [...] Should I have just accepted these drunks behavior and minded my own business?  After all, they were clearly of age to drink…


There is no age at which it's okay to drink and drive.

IMO, the right thing to do would be to dial 911 and give them the partial licence plate, along with a description of the driver and a notification that he was driving drunk with three other people in the car.

It's not even a matter of those three other people.

A drunk driver can hit anyone in traffic along the way.

I, for one, am sick of people I know and care about getting run into / over by drunk drivers.




angelic -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/16/2007 9:36:44 PM)

Why in the world would i only want to help the ones that are easy to help? 




slaveluci -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/16/2007 9:38:32 PM)

I don't know about the wisdom of "policing" within your local BDSM community but someone (like the actual police) should damn well be policing in the community in which this incident took place.  Two drunk individuals drove up to a public store, came in and were sold more beer while obviously publicly intoxicated, put two minors into a car with them, and then drove off again while still drunk.  Intervening here should have happened as several laws were broken.  I'm not sure of local differences in laws, but I'm fairly certain drunk driving and public intoxication are illegal in most places.  Even if some say nothing should have been done as far as the kids were concerned, drunk driving is a crime that should be reported.  If I was driving down the street in front of this store and these two losers crashed into me and injured or killed me, I'm sure I'd wish that someone had taken it upon themselves to report this crime before it affected me or some other innocent motorist or pedestrian.  I know you tried, angelic, and for that I commend you....slave luci




Aswad -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/16/2007 9:39:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I do not see anything about this story relating to WIITWD.


The story is kind of a red herring, I think. She was asking about whether there's a point where it's okay to say "Your Kink Is Not OK", even when the partners are consenting adults who know what they are getting into.

quote:

Now what you find horrific I might find satisfying, and vice versa.... do you really think it is your job to save people from themselves? What happens when an outsider decides YOU need saving?


Which kind of answers the question, as far as I'm concerned.




angelic -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/16/2007 9:41:12 PM)

You are absolutely correct.  Here's the thing... i did not post that as a "see look at me and the wonderful good thing i did today'... i posted it because i fucked up by not doing more!  However, at the same time... i also found my voice.  Again, if something has happened or happens tonight... and i could have stopped it this morning.... guess who holds some responsibility for it?





Aswad -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/16/2007 9:43:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

i find myself less and less tolerant of idiots of the world and refuse to believe that everything done, even if consentual... is okey dokey.


Personally, I'm the other way around.

I find myself less and less tolerant of people who refuse to let me and my partners choose for ourselves.

What use is life if you have to adhere to someone else's standards for what constitutes a good life?




angelic -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/16/2007 9:46:19 PM)

i disagree... if she consents to you killing her... and you do so... you should be 'excused' because she consented?




mistoferin -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/16/2007 9:46:38 PM)

angelic, gosh I really wish you hadn't posted the drunk story. I understand the correlation you were trying to make but unfortunately, many are going to snatch on to it and respond to it and disregard where you were really trying to go. In reality, I think the reason for your OP had little to do with that particular incident and much more to do with some things that have recently (and not so recently) been revealed and expressed here on these forums.




mistoferin -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/16/2007 9:49:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad
What use is life if you have to adhere to someone else's standards for what constitutes a good life?


According to that line of thought we should probably all kill ourselves right now then. We all have to adhere to someone else's standards each and every day. It's called being a member of society. Does being a member of society negate the possibility of a good life?




angelic -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/16/2007 9:50:05 PM)

LOL erin... me too!!! But after it happened... i really thought about how accepting some are of really awful shit!  And... because sometimes i think in the abstract... there truly was a correlation for me.  Weird as it sounds...

edited to add:  i have been guilty of just simply 'reading' some pretty inhumane things and wanting to vomit and afraid to speak up for fear of getting bashed by every sudeo(sp?) Master and 'true' slave...




marieToo -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/16/2007 9:56:21 PM)

Angelic:

I don't see this as the same thing as being non judgemental with regards to wiitwd.

You saw 2 underage girls being touched by a drunk.  What if that dude wasn't her father?  Then you would have successfully diffused the situation and saved a young girl from possibley being violated in some manner.  Unfortunately if daddy is a drunk, you can't really save her.  But you had no clue of what the situation was.

But when they got in the car, you definately should have called 911 to report it.  This isnt the same thing as turning a blind eye to some bdsmers who want to do engage in some form of dangerous play.  This is two drunks doing something illegal by getting behind the wheel of a car and possibly killing someone.  I agree that this is a case where a citizen SHOULD get involved; not by chasing them down, but by reporting it immediately.







Wildfleurs -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/16/2007 9:56:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

We ‘see’ things here daily.  Some, in my opinion are truly horrific, but if anyone stands against those things and speaks out, without fail there will be many others telling us it is none of our business, that as long as it is consentual it should be accepted.    My question is this…. Is there anything in WIITWD that the general population think wrong?  Or do we just accept everything?  If we do accept everything is it because the only information we have is through this screen and not something seen in r/l or because it is not our mom, sister or daughter affected?

Really sorry this is so long.


Honestly, unless it involves one or a combination of the following, I think you have no business getting involved:

- someone underage
- someone not consenting (or incapable of doing it based on some mental or health impediment)

In situations between adults fully consenting I think its just nosey busybodiness to be intervening in other peoples relationships.  There's plenty of children out there that need saving that could probably better use the energy and effort.

C~

Edited to add: I did forget to mention that I think its fine to not accept how other people structure their relationships or what happens in their relationships.  I don't think people have to accept everything.  But unless they ask you for your opinion, then I don't get the need to just speak up about it.




angelic -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/16/2007 10:00:57 PM)

You are entitled to your opinion.  i have zero problem being a nosey busibody. [:D]




mistoferin -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/16/2007 10:02:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic
i really thought about how accepting some are of really awful shit! 


I can't explain or defend what another's motivations are for turning a blind eye as you say. But let me offer this for consideration...maybe they only appear to be accepting. Maybe they are just as incensed and disgusted by it as you are but the fear of being bitch slapped by the masses makes them remain quiet. Maybe they seem to accept because it's been drilled into their heads that it is the only acceptable response. Maybe they fail to react because they have reacted many times before with no positive result. Lots and lots of maybes.

I think often times there are many people who feel the same way, even if only one is saying it out loud. They just, for whatever reason, don't feel comfortable expressing it in a way that would "attach" that point of view to themselves.




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