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RE: Male Dominants: Love & Romance - 7/11/2007 9:53:50 AM

Grlwithboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy
For some people this may integrate fine, but we do a lot of degradation, denial, and VA.

I totally get your point as well. Care to educate me as to what VA stands for? I love learning new kinks!

Taggard

Eh sorry. Verbal abuse, not in the clinical sense, but I'm sure you know what I mean.

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RE: Male Dominants: Love & Romance - 7/11/2007 10:55:53 AM

Faramir

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy
It's not suffering for me, it's just feels incredibly false for me to ping pong back between "I own you, as I own my car, toaster, and whip" and "I lurrrrve you." For some people this may integrate fine, but we do a lot of degradation, denial, and VA.

No doubt different people frame, process and fuel their relationships different ways. For me, there is no ping-ponging--it is an integrated whole. When I spit in her face and I feel her cunt spasm around me, that feels like love. When I wipe her cunt juice in her face and make her smell what a whore she is, she clings to me tighter--her heart is drawn to me. Her heart is mine, if not solely because I torture her cunt, at least the door is opened, the connection formed.

The only way I can say "I lurrrrve you" is because she genuinely sees me as her "author and disposer."

The converse is that I can't do those things, can't be cruel or comtrolling, without I am at, or moving towards, eros love.

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True masters, true subs and slaves, X many years in the lifestyle, Old Guard this and High Protocol that--it's like a convention of D&D nerds were allowed to have sex once, and they decided to make a religion out of it.

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RE: Male Dominants: Love & Romance - 7/11/2007 11:22:29 AM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Faramir

The converse is that I can't do those things, can't be cruel or comtrolling, without I am at, or moving towards, eros love.

I wouldn't say I can't do it.. because I did do it to others that I don't Love the best you could say is that I respect and like them as a person. But... it just wasn't very fulfilling for me. It a diffence between having Hamburger and Steak... I like the steak better!

The past couple years.. I have only played with people that I have deep affection for. Love if you will. But it was also different love as well. The Love I have for Alandra and Kyra are similiar to each other but is different from my bottom Denika.

I find that sharing this Sadistic part of me is an intimate thing and sharing it with someone that I don't have a more emotional bond doesn't seem right for me. I don't suffer.. I just don't feel comfortable with it. Maybe it's a question of feeling vulnerable to someone that I don't trust enough to show this part of me too.

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Post #: 63

RE: Male Dominants: Love & Romance - 7/11/2007 11:32:24 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

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From: Rochester, NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Faramir
The converse is that I can't do those things, can't be cruel or comtrolling, without I am at, or moving towards, eros love.

That really is fascinating... Play, for me, is not eros based at all (obviously)...and I can play as hard with a girl I met in a club as I can with my pet.

I imagine that Michael would say yours was the more mature and skilled way of playing... It certainly is the more integrated.

Taggard

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My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

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Post #: 64

RE: Male Dominants: Love & Romance - 7/11/2007 1:07:01 PM

Grlwithboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Faramir

quote:

ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy
It's not suffering for me, it's just feels incredibly false for me to ping pong back between "I own you, as I own my car, toaster, and whip" and "I lurrrrve you." For some people this may integrate fine, but we do a lot of degradation, denial, and VA.

No doubt different people frame, process and fuel their relationships different ways. For me, there is no ping-ponging--it is an integrated whole. When I spit in her face and I feel her cunt spasm around me, that feels like love. When I wipe her cunt juice in her face and make her smell what a whore she is, she clings to me tighter--her heart is drawn to me. Her heart is mine, if not solely because I torture her cunt, at least the door is opened, the connection formed.

The only way I can say "I lurrrrve you" is because she genuinely sees me as her "author and disposer."

The converse is that I can't do those things, can't be cruel or comtrolling, without I am at, or moving towards, eros love.

Hey, whatever works. Just because I don't fully grok this style doesn't mean I'm going to then label my own as requiring less of anything or being half-formed in some way though. More power to you.

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RE: Male Dominants: Love & Romance - 7/11/2007 1:47:57 PM

TallDarkAndWitty

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy
Just because I don't fully grok this style ...

Kinky girls who read Heinlein make my knees weak. *wink*

Taggard

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RE: Male Dominants: Love & Romance - 7/11/2007 4:52:54 PM

Faramir

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty
That really is fascinating... Play, for me, is not eros based at all (obviously)...and I can play as hard with a girl I met in a club as I can with my pet.

I imagine that Michael would say yours was the more mature and skilled way of playing... It certainly is the more integrated.

Taggard

I dunno brother. I look around and see very different people skinning the cat different ways, and there are competent, thoughtful and functional people in every camp. I really think it is about what works best and meets the most needs for people.

I can't even play--the word is not part of my rhetoric. We are just skinning the cat in very different ways.

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True masters, true subs and slaves, X many years in the lifestyle, Old Guard this and High Protocol that--it's like a convention of D&D nerds were allowed to have sex once, and they decided to make a religion out of it.

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RE: Male Dominants: Love & Romance - 7/12/2007 5:46:51 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
Frankly.. in my opinion... if your suffering... your doing something wrong... and "You" need to change something! and it's not with the other partner(s) it's within oneself.

I am one of those who does "suffer" when I play hard with those for whom I feel romantic love.

I am curious of how you see you suffer.... You never struck me as person that would be conflicted in doing what you do... that you rather enjoy it. So.. I wonder how you see "suffer" and I how I see it maybe a different thing.

For me.. suffering has the end result of powerlessness and/or distracts from who the person is/was before doing what they do. It's not a simple aftercare to overcome... it is in essense a slow destruction of oneself. As I said, this doesn't fit on what I percieve of you. So either you are self-destructive (which I highly doubt) or what you define as suffer or suffering as being something different.

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RE: Male Dominants: Love & Romance - 7/12/2007 6:51:21 PM

BigBastard

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD

For those who don't feel they can be "in" love with their submissive/slave, do you not crave a romantic relationship? Is it anything you ever think of having? If your answer is no, I am very curious as to why.

I do not crave a romantic relationship, but do not fault those who do. I am fulfilled in life by other things and have never found it necessary to be "in love." Being in love clouds one's views of life; sometimes for the good (ex: overlooking indiscretions), sometimes accompanied by a collosal disaster (ex: overlooking indiscretions). I've never desired this particular option in life, much like some have never desired brussel sprouts.

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RE: Male Dominants: Love & Romance - 7/13/2007 7:30:28 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

I am one of those who does "suffer" when I play hard with those for whom I feel romantic love.

I am curious of how you see you suffer....

I don't suffer now. I have, in the past, suffered when I tried to play hard with someone for whom I felt romantic love. It would hurt me to push them to tears...it conflicted with a basic part of my own self-image. To me, romantic love means protection from pain, and even though I understand that the pain was what the slave needed, it did not matter to that part of me that said "do not hurt your loved ones".

So I no longer suffer, as I have found the kind of love I want to feel for my slave...and my romantic love partner is not a target for my sadism.

Taggard

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A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

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RE: Male Dominants: Love & Romance - 7/13/2007 12:49:58 PM

LadyMaraSedai

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I love the way you put things, Sir. I hope to one day find a man with as much intelligence and as much heart as you have shown. Wish me luck.....

LadyM

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RE: Male Dominants: Love & Romance - 7/16/2007 5:30:53 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty
It would hurt me to push them to tears...it conflicted with a basic part of my own self-image. To me, romantic love means protection from pain, and even though I understand that the pain was what the slave needed, it did not matter to that part of me that said "do not hurt your loved ones".

Thank you.. I understand now.... It's part of your belief structure... which is no small issue to change even when we have a desire to do so and impossible if we don't have a desire to do so.

"Do not hurt your loved ones" as I see it is a fundamental part of your belief structure and I can appreciate why you hold the perception that you do. Thanks again

< Message edited by KnightofMists -- 7/16/2007 5:31:39 PM >

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Knight of Mists

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