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RE: A world with no sub males - 6/20/2007 1:52:50 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

You know, I was just thinking about this, and if I become the ONLY one to buck the trend, that might mean that it's just ME and a world full of dominant women.

I'm liking this scenario more and more already.

*GRIN*

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

RE: A world with no sub males - 6/20/2007 3:32:14 PM

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From: P'burgh PA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyClaudiaVan

With no males, we would operate with more peace around us and with more civility. The murder and rape statistics would decline.

Of course this isn't what the OP is asking about at all.

She said no submissive men who were wiling to act on their desires.

I would say we live in such a world now to a great degree.

Happy I read all the posts prior to response. Many others have already said what I wanted to reply with. Although I do most definitely agree with what TammyJo is saying here.

We do live in such a world now to an extent. There are so many submissive men being at a crossroads with their acceptance and comfortability regarding their inner drive to serve. So many being raised to conform to the societal views of relationships between men and Women and their roles therein. Although I feel that a change is coming in future generations. As more and more males are being raised by stronger Women they will see them differently than the males of the 50's and 6o's. When the pressure to conform to some form of societal boundaries that urge to deny their naturally submissive tendencies will be easier to overcome.

Great question to the OP as always. Thought provoking.

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

RE: A world with no sub males - 6/20/2007 6:40:21 PM

aidan

Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

You know, I was just thinking about this, and if I become the ONLY one to buck the trend, that might mean that it's just ME and a world full of dominant women.

I'm liking this scenario more and more already.

This is exaclty what I was thinking.

Wanna share?

_____________________________

Do what now?

"I aim to misbehave."
-Mal Reynolds

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

RE: A world with no sub males - 6/20/2007 7:21:03 PM

Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
Imagine that the only way to get a man to consider the idea of submitting to a woman was behind closed doors and still with a ton of worry that someone may find out.

Imagine? Um, sure. I think I can do that :) I've very freaked out about people finding out or discussing this part of my life with people. As a male sub, I think we're probably looked down upon least favoribly of the six subsegments (Fdom, Fswitch, Fsub, Mdom, Mswitch, Msub). If I'm dating a vanilla woman, this is constantly on my mind, the whole 'what if she finds out?' type thoughts. But then if it works out, I need her to find out. Such a quandary.

quote:

Have you ever brought up the idea of BDSM and had a male partner dump you because of it

Nope, never had a male partner dump me because of it. I have told two girlfriends about my desires and they were both really cool and understanding about it. They were at first interested and sponges for all they could find out. Then they kind of plateaued and I just realized that the relationships would never progress to where I wanted them to, so got out of them.

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Strong for all, weak for one

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RE: A world with no sub males - 6/20/2007 8:55:09 PM

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Joined: 6/20/2007
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I echo some of the others, great questions.

I completely agree with you that probably some of us have dealt with this at some point. I think submissive men probably have it the hardest with today's society, both with men and women.

I think its interesting when I hear a man say.. "he's so pussy whipped". The combination of those words just cracks Me up. :) As soon as I hear that, I find Myself looking around to see who they are talking about because in My mind, I'm about to see one of the strongest men in the world.

If I was in a society where all submissive men were "in the closet"... well I think we are arent we? I haven't seen a submissive male walking down the street with a t-shirt that says "Some days its just not worth breaking through the staps" and a picture of male tied in perfect bondage style with hands behind his back. *g*    I have seen a girl wearing one. I can't wait to see a male walking down the street with a T-shirt that says.. "May I serve you?"   I keep thinking ONE day I'm going to go to the grocery store and walk up to the counter and as I start to put my items up on the counter this boy is going to come around and say "May I do that for you please?" I don't get shocked much but THAT would shock Me. I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE! COME OUT OF THE CLOSET!

Femdoms, how would we operate in such a society?

ok I lost My train of thought, If I lived in that society...as you asked.. I would do as I do with My dog. I would train him with positive reinforcement at first when he "serves" Me properly or pays attention to My likes and dislikes. Then I would start out with playful smacks on his ass as he walks by Me in private then public places. I would slowly increase the force and then add in different items I hit him with, (newspapers, magazines, purses and things) keeping it playful but giving him the .."sexual evil eye".   At home or one of our homes, I would start by telling him I can only orgasm when I'm on top and whisper into his ear the things that I like nd would "get Me off".

If he responded well to those things, then everyday something new would be added so that by the time he ever realized what was going on, and without him freaking out, he would be addicted to those things that he can not experience anywhere else. he would be so far into it that every new moment would be so exciting to him that he couldnt bare to go back to playing Dominant Male like he has to do to work and at the bar.   he would know what pleases Me, which pleases him, and there would be no way in hell he would want to go back to his vanilla ways. I like that effect of.. what the hell happened? how did i get here? ;)

I don't know if that is the type of answer you were looking for but thats where your question took Me. Now I'm off to read the others responses. Thanks for taking Me there.

My Best,
MsDami

< Message edited by MsDami -- 6/20/2007 8:56:41 PM >

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: A world with no sub males - 6/20/2007 9:20:09 PM

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After much consideration on the thought, I would have to concur that I would probably turn to dominating submissive women. I am not bi-sexual, so I would have to figure out some type of arrangement for that particular aspect, but I still find that more acceptable than no lifestyle whatsoever.

The question is then, how long would I be content? Having just within the last month doing My first scene ever with someone of the same gender (no sex, just flogging, caning, etc.) I do know that I can get a female to subspace and I can achieve top space. However, all of My sexual arrousal was still satisfied with a male. I don't feel it's really enough information to go on, as it wasn't a case of not taking the dominant role with the male as well. (It was My first double hitter. Two people to subspace in the same night.) Due to the circumstances, it is hard to make a judgement, since I did scene with both.

Aakasha, a very interesting question. Sadly, the best answer I can give is that I don't know, but I'm glad I don't live in such a world.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: A world with no sub males - 6/20/2007 10:02:17 PM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

I don't think I'd really notice much difference. I've decided to just find a guy I like and see if he will let me take the lead with sex. I have not had a guy run away when I brought up the subject of D/s. But, I don't rush into it. Other things are higher priority.

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Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

RE: A world with no sub males - 6/21/2007 6:31:36 AM

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Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyClaudiaVan

With no males, we would operate with more peace around us and with more civility. The murder and rape statistics would decline.

Of course this isn't what the OP is asking about at all.

She said no submissive men who were wiling to act on their desires.

I would say we live in such a world now to a great degree.

Happy I read all the posts prior to response. Many others have already said what I wanted to reply with. Although I do most definitely agree with what TammyJo is saying here.

We do live in such a world now to an extent. There are so many submissive men being at a crossroads with their acceptance and comfortability regarding their inner drive to serve. So many being raised to conform to the societal views of relationships between men and Women and their roles therein. Although I feel that a change is coming in future generations. As more and more males are being raised by stronger Women they will see them differently than the males of the 50's and 6o's. When the pressure to conform to some form of societal boundaries that urge to deny their naturally submissive tendencies will be easier to overcome.

Great question to the OP as always. Thought provoking.

I was just thinking that the idea that the existance of prodoms equals liberation from these ideals seems to be proof of the opposite.

A man who cannot feel comfortable or does not know how to approach his female counterpart can use money to get his desires met. If we lived in a society where male submission as ok, I think there might not be many prodoms at all.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to SDFemDom4cuck)

RE: A world with no sub males - 6/21/2007 7:33:50 AM

Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsDami

I would do as I do with My dog. I would train him with positive reinforcement at first when he "serves" Me properly or pays attention to My likes and dislikes. Then I would start out with playful smacks on his ass as he walks by Me in private then public places. I would slowly increase the force and then add in different items I hit him with, (newspapers, magazines, purses and things) keeping it playful but giving him the .."sexual evil eye". At home or one of our homes, I would start by telling him I can only orgasm when I'm on top and whisper into his ear the things that I like nd would "get Me off".

If he responded well to those things, then everyday something new would be added so that by the time he ever realized what was going on, and without him freaking out, he would be addicted to those things that he can not experience anywhere else. he would be so far into it that every new moment would be so exciting to him that he couldnt bare to go back to playing Dominant Male like he has to do to work and at the bar. he would know what pleases Me, which pleases him, and there would be no way in hell he would want to go back to his vanilla ways. I like that effect of.. what the hell happened? how did i get here? ;)

Congratulations, MsDami! You bring up some excellent points.

Seems to me that you have figured out exactly how to go about changing male behavior by using positive reinforcement. I only wish that more dommes would adopt this technique or method of training, because when used properly, I think it would prove to be 100% effective.

I'm glad you posted your POV, and I hope that others will read it and learn from it.

_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

(in reply to MsDami)

RE: A world with no sub males - 6/21/2007 9:56:29 AM

Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline

When I was about 25 I had been going out with this guy (a cop no less) for a few months. One night, on the beach I brought up the subject of wanting him to be extremely forceful with me.
He never called me again.
dick.

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: A world with no sub males - 6/21/2007 2:04:44 PM

Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
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quote:

I was just thinking that the idea that the existance of prodoms equals liberation from these ideals seems to be proof of the opposite.

A man who cannot feel comfortable or does not know how to approach his female counterpart can use money to get his desires met. If we lived in a society where male submission as ok, I think there might not be many prodoms at all.

I do see your point TammyJo. I've highlighted what I feel is the key phrase within that theory.

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

RE: A world with no sub males - 6/21/2007 2:19:59 PM

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

quote:

I was just thinking that the idea that the existance of prodoms equals liberation from these ideals seems to be proof of the opposite.

A man who cannot feel comfortable or does not know how to approach his female counterpart can use money to get his desires met. If we lived in a society where male submission as ok, I think there might not be many prodoms at all.

I do see your point TammyJo. I've highlighted what I feel is the key phrase within that theory.

I'm glad you understood. After I worded I was concerned it might be seen as an attack on professionals. Not my intent.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to SDFemDom4cuck)

RE: A world with no sub males - 6/21/2007 7:10:06 PM

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From: P'burgh PA
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I didn't see it that way, but then I'm not a pro so I wouldn't be offended regardless. Nor can I see how anyone else would either. Personally I see Professional Dominants as a great service. (I'm going to pull on my flame retardant panties here.) I would much rather someone that isn't sure about their ability to submit go to see a Pro Domme than to spend time with me only to discover it isn't something he can do r/t. I'm not belittling Pro Dommes in any way by saying that.

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

RE: A world with no sub males - 6/21/2007 7:13:16 PM

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Status: offline

Which brings up an interesting thought. If the tables were turned the other way, and submissive males were so hard to find, do you suppose the professional male submissive would trend would spring up?

(in reply to SDFemDom4cuck)

RE: A world with no sub males - 6/21/2007 7:23:44 PM

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From: P'burgh PA
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very interesting question. I'll have to think about that. Strangely I look at that quite differently off the top of my head. Then again, casual play doesn't do alot for me to begin with. There isn't that electricity that is present when there's some type of connection on a personal level. I'll be interested to see what others think of this.

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: A world with no sub males - 6/21/2007 7:23:58 PM

Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Which brings up an interesting thought. If the tables were turned the other way, and submissive males were so hard to find, do you suppose the professional male submissive would trend would spring up?

I'm sure it would. The best thing about this great country of ours is supply and demand. And with all of the corporate professional women, doctors, lawyers, educators, etc. being at the top of their game and pay scale, I think we would be seeing many professional submissives as the same way we see male escorts these days. If there is a market out there, build it and they will come. *lol*

Hey, that may be a whole new cottage industry! Maybe I should start teaching classes in SF. And no, not at the Learning Annex. I don't think the general public is quite ready for that kind of class at the LA yet.

_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: A world with no sub males - 6/21/2007 10:44:27 PM

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Joined: 6/12/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsDami
I keep thinking ONE day I'm going to go to the grocery store and walk up to the counter and as I start to put my items up on the counter this boy is going to come around and say "May I do that for you please?" I don't get shocked much but THAT would shock Me. I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE! COME OUT OF THE CLOSET!

I am a Southerner from a long line of Southerner so find myself in deep South towns, comunities and places fewfolks have reason to go to. And in fact, the boys are raised with gentleman manners to do just such activities. Now the flip side of the gentlity is the overbearing gorean types that swagger around too - but believe me the boys are well trained to wait on the women - mostly though under guise of a woman not being capable of caring for herself and being disfunctional without the aid of a man. I have more than once heard the phrase can I help with that Mame? And I admit its sends a smile to my lips and blood to my ears but only for a minute or two.

_____________________________

Ocilla

Nature is not a place to visit. It is home.
~ Gary Snyder

It takes a kinky village...

(in reply to MsDami)

RE: A world with no sub males - 6/21/2007 10:51:41 PM

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Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

very interesting question. I'll have to think about that. Strangely I look at that quite differently off the top of my head. Then again, casual play doesn't do alot for me to begin with. There isn't that electricity that is present when there's some type of connection on a personal level. I'll be interested to see what others think of this.

How about this. Johnny Depp and a fully equipped dungeon, with him wanting eagerly to learn what this thing "subspace" is. Would that be worth $300/hr?
Sign me up!

Akasha

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Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to SDFemDom4cuck)

RE: A world with no sub males - 6/21/2007 11:20:20 PM

Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

very interesting question. I'll have to think about that. Strangely I look at that quite differently off the top of my head. Then again, casual play doesn't do alot for me to begin with. There isn't that electricity that is present when there's some type of connection on a personal level. I'll be interested to see what others think of this.

How about this. Johnny Depp and a fully equipped dungeon, with him wanting eagerly to learn what this thing "subspace" is. Would that be worth $300/hr?
Sign me up!

Akasha

Ironic as it may seem, no, wouldn't do alot for me and I adore Johnny Depp. Just the way I'm wired I guess. While it may be momentary fun to a point during the "play". There's still this feeling of something being missing from the whole dichotomy afterwards for me.

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: A world with no sub males - 6/21/2007 11:37:52 PM

Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Do you think we deal with this, or a form of this, even now?

Have you ever brought up the idea of BDSM and had a male partner dump you because of it?
Akasha

Yes I think this exists today... I've met/talked more than a few men struggling with "how phucked am I in the head for wanting to submit to a woman?"
As to whether I've been dumped, no; but I have scared off a couple of suitors when I indicated I take the dominant role within a relationship, rather than follow quietly/soflty as the submissive lady they expect. Some men assume that a lady with proper manners automatically defers to them. M

_____________________________

"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." Erich Fromm

(in reply to AAkasha)

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