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RE: BBW? - 6/21/2007 8:12:52 AM

RealBlackGoddess

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Hence the use of the conjunction "and"

And really, I'd say 90% of fat people are less healthy than they should be.

I would like to know your source. Of course, anytime a person has a health problem it's immediately blamed on being overweight....

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RE: BBW? - 6/21/2007 8:16:05 AM

MistressNoName

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But cj,

Beautiful really IS an empty word. It only has meaning to the individual using it and that meaning is entirely subjective. What you call beauty, I may or may not. We say things like beauty fades with age...but does it really? And what is beauty anyway? There is no real objective test. It's all relative.

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RE: BBW? - 6/21/2007 8:16:47 AM

mistoferin

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Sorry if my post spurns a misdirection. I really was only trying to explain how/why I see people use the term and thus as an explanation of why I do NOT use it.

No need to apologize, I understood. I'm just trying to find out some answers without this turning into just another bashfest of the fat vs. the anti-fat. I don't know if it's actually possible but I'm trying to give it a shot.

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RE: BBW? - 6/21/2007 8:16:49 AM

SeeksOnlyOne

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cjenny

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
Personally, I don't identify myself according to a scale. There is so much more to me than what size I wear, so I wouldn't want to limit myself that way. I am "me."

See that is along the lines I was thinking. To term oneself as "(insert label here)" seems limiting. When I see people making such pronouncements I wonder if that is what is to them, the most important identifying quality of who they are. A physical attribute or deficit seems so minute in the big picture of all that makes up a person. I can't imagine identifying as a Red Headed, Freckle Faced Woman as if it was some big, important means of determining who I am.

I know someone(s) are going to get angry and flame me for this but oh well. The part that confuses me is using the 'beautiful' bit. NOT BECAUSE YOU CANT BE FAT AND BEAUTIFUL but because like the red-headed-freckle-faced-woman is different from beautiful-red-headed-freckle-faced-woman.
It is off setting to me, it seems like bragging in your face look at me I'm beautiful. It becomes an empty word to me when it is used so often. Kinda like SuperDuperHighIQDom or MagnificentMasterOfAll.
There is so much more to a person than their weight or lack of weight.
Ugh I hope no one yells at me.

im red headed and freckle faced...and i dont want to yell......i so totally get what youre saying here....theres no sbw(short beautiful woman), tbw(tall...)sbw(small).....fat is an adjective....no more no less when it comes to "labels"......cbw(crazy)sbw(sane)...im having too much fun with this....the list goes on and on......lets start a thread of silly acronyms(i hope thats the correct nym).

i will choose hfc........happy fat chick

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RE: BBW? - 6/21/2007 8:17:51 AM

SexyRed

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While I abhor the never ending debate on the term BBW and the like, I will explain what I know about this. And I will say this ahead of time, I have never once seen a BBW thread not degenerate into fat bashing under the guise of "helping those BBWs to realize they are not healthy or attractive".

The term BBW was coined back in the day by the fashion industry. I was a plus size model for 11 years starting at age 22. I was a perfect size 14. It also came to fruition online as many had to find a way to define themselves as other than just fat or heavy. Now you may argue that one does not have to define themselves, but I also think that some use it as a term to connote confidence and not that "poor pitiful fat girl" view that exists. Whether or not someone is actually beautiful is not really the point; it is a subjective term as with anyone, like hot, pretty, cute, attractive, etc.

As with all semantics, fat, heavy, chubby, plump, big, BBW, Rubenesque, etc. all are subject to interpretation. I find it ludicrous that so many, not just on this site, but all over the internet, feel it is worthwhile to examine why someone would call themselves a BBW.

Most of the women I know, including myself, who identify as BBW, do so ONLINE as a way to describe themselves. Your definition may vary over what is considered a BBW, some think a size 10 is BBW some think size 26 is.

Here is the point: for some inexplicable reason, many men and women feel personally insulted when women use BBW. Why? What on earth does someone's personal preferences have to do with YOU? Why question why anyone describes themselves in any manner? And who cares if someone thinks they are fat or thinks they are thinner than the norm; it is all up to that person to define who they are and if they want to use a lable, they can label themselves all they want.

It is truly a mystery to me why anyone cares and comments on what others do or call themselves. If you are not attracted to said type, move on with your life. I do not care what your preference is, but let us please stop this truly boring analysis of BBW.

Oh, and I am quite positive that someone will flame this commentary as another fat chick who is defensive, when in reality, I am not at all defensive, just bored by the never ending dissection of this topic under the guise of concern for mental or physical health.

< Message edited by SexyRed -- 6/21/2007 8:28:29 AM >

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RE: BBW? - 6/21/2007 8:21:55 AM

truesub4u

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I was reading the BBW thread and checking out a few profiles. It got me to wondering how people make that determination. Is there a certain weight? A certain size? I noticed some people using the term to define themselves that don't seem to be all that "big"....and others who are "bigger" who don't view themselves as such. How does one determine?

The other question that I have about it, is why do people classify or market themselves by this condition? I don't see women with big noses calling themselves BNWs, or women with toenail fungus referring to themselves as TNFWs. I don't see small breasted women pronouncing they are SBWs.

Hi Erin,

Before I came to CM... I had never heard the term BBW. I first heard about it on these forums and even had to ask wtf?

Now when someone refers to me.. like yesterday in a e-mail...as a BBW.. I smile.. think... idiot...and move on. I very well may be BBW to someone looking at me... but to me... I'm me. And there's more to me than what's on the outside that people see. But some people are shallow...and can't look past what they see outside... to find out more of what's inside. <Shrugs> Their loss... possibly my gain.

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RE: BBW? - 6/21/2007 8:26:40 AM

cjenny

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Well hfc it is nice to meetchya! I am ssoos

(slightly soft, out of shape).

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RE: BBW? - 6/21/2007 8:27:58 AM

MistressNoName

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Hence the use of the conjunction "and"

And really, I'd say 90% of fat people are less healthy than they should be.

Well, I could make that statement about thin people as well...in fact, probably 90% (or more) of all Americans, fat, thin and in-between are probably less healthy than they should be. And that has no bearing on the cost of tea in China...and certainly has no bearing on the topic at hand.

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RE: BBW? - 6/21/2007 8:42:11 AM

mistoferin

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyRed
Here is the point: for some inexplicable reason, many men and women feel personally insulted when women use BBW. Why? What on earth does someone's personal preferences have to do with YOU? Why question why anyone describes themselves in any manner? And who cares if someone thinks they are fat or thinks they are thinner than the norm; it is all up to that person to define who they are and if they want to use a lable, they can label themselves all they want.

It is truly a mystery to me why anyone cares and comments on what others do or call themselves. If you are not attracted to said type, move on with your life. I do not care what your preference is, but let us please stop this truly boring analysis of BBW.

No flame, just an answer. I ask because I am curious and don't know the answer...it's the way we learn. Kind of like asking "why is the sky blue?", "what exactly is happening inside of the motor of my car that makes it go?", or "how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop?". I enjoy asking what, where, why, and how come because the answers give me understanding. Without ever attempting to understand the world or the people who live in it, what point would there be?

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RE: BBW? - 6/21/2007 9:00:10 AM

Bella1965

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G'morning all:

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
And really, I'd say 90% of fat people are less healthy than they should be.

I'm curious LA. Do you consider yourself to be part of that elite 10%?

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
I don't use the term myself, but I think it goes more onto overall body look- because my body is very well proportioned and I can hide a lot of weight on it, I can definitely look less fat than I am.

Because frankly, at 5'4" and 180 pounds, that definitely falls within the spectrum of BBW. The retail clothes industry begins plus size denominations at size 14. Where do you fall in that range?

Myself, I've made peace with the consequences of my genetics and habits a long time ago and don't rationalize or attempt to justify my weight. I'm simply overweight. I heartily dislike the term BBW because of the societal connotations that become attached to it and how some folks use it as a shield to make themselves feel better about being fat. Frankly, if someone is shallow enough to base how they view individuals based on body size? I'm not inclined to associate with them.

If anyone is wondering why I don't display my own weight on profile? Vanity, pure and simple. Just because I'm realistic about my body image doesn't mean I have to give away all the details.

Although, if asked politely, I do reveal it.

Stay safe, play nice, & share your toys w/ others...

Bella

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RE: BBW? - 6/21/2007 9:04:50 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bella1965
I'm curious LA. Do you consider yourself to be part of that elite 10%?

Nope.

quote:

Because frankly, at 5'4" and 180 pounds, that definitely falls within the spectrum of BBW. The retail clothes industry begins plus size denominations at size 14. Where do you fall in that range? Bella

I don't use the term bbw- I'm just very fat.

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RE: BBW? - 6/21/2007 9:15:36 AM

SexyRed

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyRed
Here is the point: for some inexplicable reason, many men and women feel personally insulted when women use BBW. Why? What on earth does someone's personal preferences have to do with YOU? Why question why anyone describes themselves in any manner? And who cares if someone thinks they are fat or thinks they are thinner than the norm; it is all up to that person to define who they are and if they want to use a lable, they can label themselves all they want.

It is truly a mystery to me why anyone cares and comments on what others do or call themselves. If you are not attracted to said type, move on with your life. I do not care what your preference is, but let us please stop this truly boring analysis of BBW.

No flame, just an answer. I ask because I am curious and don't know the answer...it's the way we learn. Kind of like asking "why is the sky blue?", "what exactly is happening inside of the motor of my car that makes it go?", or "how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop?". I enjoy asking what, where, why, and how come because the answers give me understanding. Without ever attempting to understand the world or the people who live in it, what point would there be?

I always enjoy your posts and I will say this about your last line: normally questioning things is great, but when we all know there is no answer to the universal question of BBWs, then I just see it as somewhat inflammatory each and every time someone brings it up.

However, I would like to know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. As far as why is the sky blue, my 7 year old niece asked me that the other day and I said that I guessed that god made it blue because it was such a pretty color. :)

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RE: BBW? - 6/21/2007 9:17:05 AM

Mercnbeth

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

...I can't imagine identifying as a Red Headed, Freckle Faced Woman as if it was some big, important means of determining who I am...

geez, erin...how are we going to be able to add more folks to our RHFFW club if we don't advertise...

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RE: BBW? - 6/21/2007 9:17:14 AM

sublimelysensual

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Out in public, meeting people, going to events, I don't go up to someone and say "hi, my name is amanda and I'm bbw". -laughs- It isn't necessary, a person can see me and make their own judgments. Here, I do identify myself within a first conversation with a Dom (as rubenesque, not bbw, but it all means the same), simply because there are lots of people who prefer partners who are not overweight, and I have no interest in wasting my time, or someone else's, in conversation that's going to be totally meaningless once someone discovered I'm overweight. It would be wonderful if everyone could be attracted to everyone, but that's just not the way it works. So online, I identify my body type. Just easier all the way around. Has nothing to do with the way I feel about myself, my confidence level, etc, just a recognizable label for body type...

-a

-edited for spelling, dommit-

< Message edited by sublimelysensual -- 6/21/2007 9:18:24 AM >

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RE: BBW? - 6/21/2007 9:28:44 AM

SexyRed

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sublimelysensual

Out in public, meeting people, going to events, I don't go up to someone and say "hi, my name is amanda and I'm bbw". -laughs- It isn't necessary, a person can see me and make their own judgments. Here, I do identify myself within a first conversation with a Dom (as rubenesque, not bbw, but it all means the same), simply because there are lots of people who prefer partners who are not overweight, and I have no interest in wasting my time, or someone else's, in conversation that's going to be totally meaningless once someone discovered I'm overweight. It would be wonderful if everyone could be attracted to everyone, but that's just not the way it works. So online, I identify my body type. Just easier all the way around. Has nothing to do with the way I feel about myself, my confidence level, etc, just a recognizable label for body type...

-a

-edited for spelling, dommit-

thanks, you said that so much more succinctly than I did!

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RE: BBW? - 6/21/2007 9:29:17 AM

mistoferin

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyRed
I always enjoy your posts and I will say this about your last line: normally questioning things is great, but when we all know there is no answer to the universal question of BBWs, then I just see it as somewhat inflammatory each and every time someone brings it up.

There will always be many different answers when we ask questions about people. I wasn't really looking for "THE" answer but the many different answers people may have.

As for the sky being blue...it isn't, it only appears that way...I know that because I did ask that. Instead of going into a lengthy scientific discussion though, I think you did just fine.

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RE: BBW? - 6/21/2007 9:36:27 AM

BOUNTYHUNTER

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I must admit that I prefer my women tall and lean.however I have played with some very exciting and beautiful women that were bbws or bbbws ..IF you can can get past labels you can find some sexy as hell fat women out there,ones that want to serve with their soul and just seeking a chance to do so , give a bbw a chance this day..bounty

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RE: BBW? - 6/21/2007 9:40:49 AM

mistoferin

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sublimelysensual

Out in public, meeting people, going to events, I don't go up to someone and say "hi, my name is amanda and I'm bbw". -laughs- It isn't necessary, a person can see me and make their own judgments. Here, I do identify myself within a first conversation with a Dom (as rubenesque, not bbw, but it all means the same), simply because there are lots of people who prefer partners who are not overweight, and I have no interest in wasting my time, or someone else's, in conversation that's going to be totally meaningless once someone discovered I'm overweight. It would be wonderful if everyone could be attracted to everyone, but that's just not the way it works. So online, I identify my body type. Just easier all the way around. Has nothing to do with the way I feel about myself, my confidence level, etc, just a recognizable label for body type...

-a

-edited for spelling, dommit-

Okay, I really do understand this. I have pictures on my profile so it really would be a no brainer for someone to figure out if I fall outside of what attracts them. I can see that someone who does not have pictures available may have to describe themself. But that leads me to another question. Do you stop at BBW, or do you go into great detail?..."I have a large/small nose, cellulite on my butt, pendulous/small breasts (although one is bigger than the other), pretty/ugly toes, my calves don't touch, I wear/don't wear glasses.....the list could go on and on. Any of those things could be the deal breaker or maker for someone. I don't tend to see those kinds of details related as a means of weeding out or as a means of not wasting someone's time. As women we ALL see ourselves as having faults and we also all see our strong points...but I don't see large groups of women using other attributes or faults (depending on how you personally view it) identifying in such a way as I see BBWs doing so.

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RE: BBW? - 6/21/2007 9:52:26 AM

LotusSong

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The very first time I heard the term BBW was back in the 60's. It referred to women over 5'7". Back then it was undesirable to be tall .. like one could do something about THAT!

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RE: BBW? - 6/21/2007 9:52:46 AM

MistressNoName

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quote:

Okay, I really do understand this. I have pictures on my profile so it really would be a no brainer for someone to figure out if I fall outside of what attracts them. I can see that someone who does not have pictures available may have to describe themself. But that leads me to another question. Do you stop at BBW, or do you go into great detail?..."I have a large/small nose, cellulite on my butt, pendulous/small breasts (although one is bigger than the other), pretty/ugly toes, my calves don't touch, I wear/don't wear glasses.....the list could go on and on. Any of those things could be the deal breaker or maker for someone. I don't tend to see those kinds of details related as a means of weeding out or as a means of not wasting someone's time. As women we ALL see ourselves as having faults and we also all see our strong points...but I don't see large groups of women using other attributes or faults (depending on how you personally view it) identifying in such a way as I see BBWs doing so.

erin,

I'm now thoroughly confused. Are you truly just asking why women identify as BBW or are you arguing the fact that some women use the term? I'm not getting what you're saying here.

MNN

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