Which one of you went for it......... (Full Version)

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MsPleasure -> Which one of you went for it......... (6/21/2007 6:11:11 PM)

I've spoken to some nice subs that are willing to relocate to my area.  Which one of you have done so and was it a negative or positve experience.



completenz -> RE: Which one of you went for it......... (6/21/2007 6:20:16 PM)

hi
i moved to a different city to be with Him. No regrets from either of us, not one. It was the right thing for us do
c



kc692 -> RE: Which one of you went for it......... (6/21/2007 6:21:31 PM)

I had one relocate to my area in October...sad to say she was released a couple of weeks ago, but I don't think it's always a bad idea.  You just have to truly make sure you are compatible with more than a week or so visit beforehand.  Of course, she also moved in My household, so I am not sure if you are talking about them moving in the area or moving in Your house.  They are definitely different things.



MsPleasure -> RE: Which one of you went for it......... (6/21/2007 6:26:26 PM)

Did you visit each other a few times first?



MsPleasure -> RE: Which one of you went for it......... (6/21/2007 6:28:13 PM)

For now just moving to my area, not in my residence.



gwendolyn -> RE: Which one of you went for it......... (6/21/2007 6:32:12 PM)

Master and I spent a couple of months visiting for days at a time. I would drive down every other week. I relocated here about six months ago, and don't regret a single moment of it.


Gwen



completenz -> RE: Which one of you went for it......... (6/21/2007 6:37:39 PM)

yes we did. We spent every weekend together for 2 months before i made the final move. We both made sure it was exactly what we wanted first.
c



Celeste43 -> RE: Which one of you went for it......... (6/21/2007 6:46:10 PM)

We were ldr for two years seeing each other every month or month and a half. He got a transfer up here. I couldn't move until my family finished school.



slaveish -> RE: Which one of you went for it......... (6/21/2007 7:08:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: completenz

yes we did. We spent every weekend together for 2 months before i made the final move. We both made sure it was exactly what we wanted first.
c



~arched brow~

I fervently wish you well.



completenz -> RE: Which one of you went for it......... (6/21/2007 7:51:48 PM)

lol, thankyou ( i think) We also spent months getting to know each other before getting to this stage. We have been living together for 14 months now and we plan to marry in feb. As i said, it worked for us.[:)]
c



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Which one of you went for it......... (6/21/2007 7:57:01 PM)

When my girl and I first started out relationship, it was with the understanding that there would be little chance of it ever being a "close distance relationship". We were both married to men we loved and didn't expect either of them to move for us. Then, I saw that it would be better if my husband and I divorced, for reasons not related to the lifestyle. So we did. Then, the idea of going back to school was put into my head...long story short, I'm moving from 2000 miles to about 100 miles of my girl. I picked a school close to her that had a program that I liked.

We've known each other for two and a half years and have spent hours and hours on the phone. We have been together at events, in our homes and in the most vulnerable of settings: leather spiritual events. There is nothing about myself that I hide from her. she's also gone with me to a work related conference that I lovingly call my annual nerd conference. We have a great time when we go and all my collegues like her.

We won't be living together and I wouldn't ever ask her to leave her husband unless he suddenly became abusive (not likely...he's a great guy and we get along well). Funny thing is: my roommate will be a boi that I don't own! she's a great person and a good friend. I could see a time in the future where we might live together should her husband die first (very likely), but I don't forsee that being for at least a decade.

Honestly, I'd hesitate to ask anyone to move to my area unless I KNEW the relationship was going to be for the long haul (notice I don't day forever...but for a significant amount of time, say 5+ years). To me, that means I'd probably have to know and interact with them for a year. I'd need to be with them in all sorts of different setting, not just lifestyle. I'd need to know who they ARE, deep inside...and to know them long enough to see behavior patterns.

Not sure if this really asnwered your questions, but it's what I felt led to write.

Master Fire



sweetnessforsir -> RE: Which one of you went for it......... (6/21/2007 9:30:34 PM)

Yes, I relocated one year ago.  We deeply love each other and this is where I belong. I could not have possibly imagined how satisfied I would and could be in my personal life.

Some of our plans have changed.  Initially, I was not going to work outside of the home.  My Master has his own business and was in need of administrative help.  Now that the business is running well, I find that it is not so healthy for me not to work outside the home.  So that is changing.

Also, we live in a rural area and at times I have been frustrated with a lack of activity.  This is something I wish I had been more prepared for.  I am not sure what that preparation would look like, but at times the isolation from other subs is difficult.  In my previous home, I had a good network of submissive friends close to me.  Now, the closest communities are at least a half hour away.  It just isn't handy for lunches or after work cocktails.

But, in closing, I can't imagine being without Him.  Everything else just needs to be worked out.

Stephanie 



crouchingtigress -> RE: Which one of you went for it......... (6/21/2007 9:44:54 PM)

i relocated....i love Maui....i am not with him any more but its ok because Maui is a perfect fit for me.



Stephann -> RE: Which one of you went for it......... (6/22/2007 5:49:39 AM)

I believe that if relocation is to work, there needs to be a couple factors.

First, the relocator should have something to be going -to- when relocating; not just a relationshiop, but a job they would enjoy or a love of the area.  Love just isn't enough.

Second, the relationship always works smoother when it's done in steps.  Making arrangements to move into separate (but nearby) apartments/houses/etc allows for a casual dating relationship to become established before moving in together. 

Finally, before this sort of move can work, the other 'strings' should all be dealt with.  Someone who moves before breaking up, or divorcing, can complicate things enormously.  While it should be obvious, there's a lot of temptation to simply pack up and abandon a mess.  Three months later, it'll bite in the ass, and could ruin an otherwise perfect situation.

Good luck,

Stephan



Usako -> RE: Which one of you went for it......... (6/22/2007 6:03:01 AM)

I never have and I never would, no one is worth the risk.



PeggyO -> RE: Which one of you went for it......... (6/22/2007 7:09:39 AM)

Hello,

I have relocated twice for relationships, but in each case the places I moved to had other attractions for me.  I also relocated recently because the rest of my leather family was moving, and I was allowed to go along.  Again, the relocation was to a place that held attractions for me beyond the relationship.  This was fortunate because when the relationships ended I wasn't stuck somewhere that I hated and/or couldn't find work in.

If you're going to relocate somewhere, you need to ask yourself if the place you're going is a place you could live without the relationship.  Also, it seems that frequently the submissive is the one expected to relocate and bear all the costs associated with that.  From a submissive's perspective, that can really get expensive after a while.  If you intend to move solely for a relationship, particularly if you're planning to move in, you should try to have the person split the costs of the move.  To me, that only seems reasonable, but most folks don't seem to do it.

At this point, I will not consider relocating because I love Colorado and have purchased property here.  People ask me if I'd relocate for the right person - my answer is that I won't need to - part of the criteria in being the "right" person is that they live near me.

Take care,

Peggy




Trampler -> RE: Which one of you went for it......... (6/22/2007 7:47:16 AM)

At this point.............nope.  It would be a very big step for both people to take.  There was this one male sub that I started talking to right after I opened this account. He said that he would be moving to Michigan in early March, we exchanged alot of emails, had quite a few chats, then he said he had a family emergency and he didn't know when next he would be on.  Then I heard from him in April, with a different nic name, and the same line. I had recognized his pic, and I reminded him that we had talked and so forth. He told me his mother had passed away of Ovarian Cancer, and that he was looking to get out of Virginia, because it didn't do anything for him anymore.  And that he was moving in June.  We ended up losing touch, but meanwhile I was talking to a friend from Pennslivania, and guess who said he was moving to her home town?!  lol.  then just a few days ago, he asked me to chat. I was bored and accepted it. I asked him how his mom was, and he said she was fine, just got back from a vacation to Colorado.  Instead of asking him any other questions, I just ended the conversation. and sent him a note, Don't contact me. If you can't figure out why, then your an idiot. Then blocked him. **sighs**  Sorry for the long post



FullfigRIMaam -> RE: Which one of you went for it......... (6/22/2007 11:55:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Usako
I never have and I never would, no one is worth the risk.
I actually disagree in that I think plenty of people are worth the risk, but it's like everything else in life, in that one has to choose what risks he/she is willing to take, when, and for what reasons.  

To answer the OP, no I've never relocated for someone; I considered it briefly once, but incompatibilies came to light when we spent an extended visit together, before the move.    So yes, I would have someone relocate, or would relocate myself if I thought we'd all be better off where he is.   M



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