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PairOfDimes -> RE: Two newbies learning.. (6/23/2007 9:12:18 PM)
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Of course! It's not exactly rocket science. Granted, as Kyra wrote, a particular relationship will likely succeed or not because of reasons outside the partners' discovery of BDSM, but I don't think that the abstract idea of newbie + newbie is a recipe for failure. It can be a recipe for awkwardness, I'm sure, and it can be a recipe for novel excitement, too.
I wonder, if you're both new to BDSM but not wildly new to sex and relationships, would you have a better chance of building the kind of relationship *you* want rather than "a good BDSM relationship" as externally defined?
When I first combined pain, power, and sex, I did it with a person who had never combined pain, power and sex before, but neither of us knew then that other people had thought of it before us, and even had named it, ran groups about it, and made porn depicting it. We took some foolish risks, but nobody got seriously harmed from it--the worst things that happened were some emotional wounds (which likely would have happened regardless of the kind of sex we were having) and the sort of mild infections that Neosporin takes care of. And, too, you have heard of organized BDSM, seeing as you've found Collarme, so you're already better informed than I was. I don't know exactly how it works when you discover BDSM as something other people enjoy and conclude that you should give it a whirl, but I can't imagine it alone could destroy you or your relationship. Read BDSM fiction and non-fiction, read basic anatomy and physiology books, read histories of torture, negotiate, experiment, debrief, and repeat until fun is achieved.
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