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RE: Is Financial Domination Scary to You? - 6/25/2007 6:44:05 PM   
DommeFemme415


Posts: 20
Joined: 6/11/2007
From: San Francisco, California
Status: offline 		Thank You for your comments.  You are helping me to re-write my ad.

_____________________________

Hey, if it can be named, performed, swallowed, or worn, someone out there has a fetish for it.
Dan Savage/Savage Love

(in reply to MisstressNboytoy)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Is Financial Domination Scary to You? - 6/25/2007 7:03:53 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

Transfering authority over all financial decisions was expected of me when I became his slave.  Anyone who enters his house to be owned by him will transfer all authority over financial matters. 

I did not find it scary at all; I did have trouble doing it because this was one area where I maintained my indepence for a long time.  I just didn't like anyone knowing about my finances.  Now, I don't even think twice about it; he makes all the decisions and I don't spend any money without his approval.  I am significantly more financially secure since I transferred the authority to him.

Knight's Kyra


I do believe it was you said something that gave me cause to think about financial domination. It was, in essence, that the money never needed to leave your bank account for him to control it.

This makes a lot of sense to me. Valyraen does not technically access my money, just as he does not technically own me. I would still able to access it in case of emergency but it being in my name legally would not lessen his control over it. I do hope that as we transition into a situation where he has more control over my finances that we do it as gracefully.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Is Financial Domination Scary to You? - 6/25/2007 7:36:53 PM   
LongTerm24C


Posts: 31
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline 		You are allowing financial control, which is part of your submission. Not dumb. Financial domination is another animal all together. It is people who pray on the dumbness of others. It is the worse scenerio of prostitution.

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Is Financial Domination Scary to You? - 6/25/2007 7:44:21 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LongTerm24C

You are allowing financial control, which is part of your submission. Not dumb. Financial domination is another animal all together. It is people who pray on the dumbness of others. It is the worse scenerio of prostitution.


So... if financial domination is always people who "pray on the dumbness of others", what exactly is sexual domination?

Call something what it is. Financial domination does not always equal someone getting ripped off. What does always equal someone getting ripped off is what we call a scam artist and that has nothing to do with domination.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 6/25/2007 7:45:16 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LongTerm24C)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Is Financial Domination Scary to You? - 6/25/2007 7:45:57 PM   
DommeFemme415


Posts: 20
Joined: 6/11/2007
From: San Francisco, California
Status: offline 		Yeah it is too bad it is associated with prostitution.  I guess I can always be a ProDomme.

_____________________________

Hey, if it can be named, performed, swallowed, or worn, someone out there has a fetish for it.
Dan Savage/Savage Love

(in reply to LongTerm24C)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Is Financial Domination Scary to You? - 6/25/2007 10:05:49 PM   
Viciousbabe


Posts: 61
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		My exDom tried this in some ways, he told me that I wasn't allowed to spend money on certain things or he would tell me the only things I could spend money on. It scared me because he said he wanted his name on my bank account, luckily he seemed to forget all about it.

I work hard for my money and while I will happily contribute to the household, I will not willingly give all of my money over to another soul.

(in reply to DommeFemme415)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Is Financial Domination Scary to You? - 6/25/2007 10:20:09 PM   
DommeFemme415


Posts: 20
Joined: 6/11/2007
From: San Francisco, California
Status: offline 		Yeah I am not a predator. I just like the thought of a sub paying for my BDSM lifestyle.  If it is a girl even better because we can go shopping and share a dressing room together...hehehe

_____________________________

Hey, if it can be named, performed, swallowed, or worn, someone out there has a fetish for it.
Dan Savage/Savage Love

(in reply to Viciousbabe)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Is Financial Domination Scary to You? - 6/25/2007 11:22:52 PM   
ChainedExistence


Posts: 507
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline 		It is in everyone's best interests to establish their own line of credit and develop a favorable credit history. Even the best Dom in the world could die or become seriously ill, and the other person would need to carry on alone. So, if a Dom wants his sub to get purchases approved, or advise her on financial matters, that's fine if that's what they want to do, but she should still have her own name on the account.

< Message edited by ChainedExistence -- 6/25/2007 11:25:07 PM >

(in reply to DommeFemme415)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Is Financial Domination Scary to You? - 6/25/2007 11:28:27 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DommeFemme415

Is Financial Domination Scary to You?


No more scary than the idea of slavery. Being at the disposal of another, one's financial use is but one of many, and it's a beautiful thing.

In a general D/s context, tithes and tributes seem perfectly reasonable. The remote, recurring and inorganic transfer of money to someone you've never met before (and possibly never will) has always seemed a little strange to me. Of course, so-called "financial domination" is a misnomer in many cases, as the "submissive" is operating under the assumption of some sort of payback for all his giving. I've spoken to a few young ladies who do this regularly and have admitted (along with a trickle of laughter) to having no intention of ever extending the relationship past point and click. In these cases, it would perhaps be more apt to call the beast "financial predation," and many of the men ground up in its gears deserve what they get.

(in reply to DommeFemme415)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Is Financial Domination Scary to You? - 6/25/2007 11:29:56 PM   
DommeFemme415


Posts: 20
Joined: 6/11/2007
From: San Francisco, California
Status: offline 		Yes I am a professional woman with my own 401k,health insurance, dental insurance.  I have my own line of credit.
Only a fool would not have their own financial history.

_____________________________

Hey, if it can be named, performed, swallowed, or worn, someone out there has a fetish for it.
Dan Savage/Savage Love

(in reply to ChainedExistence)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Is Financial Domination Scary to You? - 6/25/2007 11:42:51 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DommeFemme415

Thank You for your comments.  You are helping me to re-write my ad.


It depends on the context.  My Master dominates all of me, including my finances, and that's not scary at all.

But I don't think that's what you meant. 

(in reply to DommeFemme415)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Is Financial Domination Scary to You? - 6/25/2007 11:48:14 PM   
DommeFemme415


Posts: 20
Joined: 6/11/2007
From: San Francisco, California
Status: offline 		I just wondered what everyone's opinion is about this.  I don't want to turn into anyone's financial planner.  I want gifts...nothing extravagent. I want to establish a relationship. I want gifts we can both enjoy together.

_____________________________

Hey, if it can be named, performed, swallowed, or worn, someone out there has a fetish for it.
Dan Savage/Savage Love

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Is Financial Domination Scary to You? - 6/26/2007 3:59:13 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LongTerm24C

You are allowing financial control, which is part of your submission. Not dumb. Financial domination is another animal all together. It is people who pray on the dumbness of others. It is the worse scenerio of prostitution.


This is where you are mistaken.  His authority is not limited in this area just like it is not limited in any other area.  When I wake him up this morning he could tell me to start the process of transferring all his monetary assests that are in my name to him and it would be done with no hesitation.  He has absolute authority in my life and he chooses how to exercise that authority.  He has chosen to exercise his financial authority in this manner because it serves his purpose.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to LongTerm24C)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Is Financial Domination Scary to You? - 6/26/2007 4:13:31 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DommeFemme415

I just wondered what everyone's opinion is about this.  I don't want to turn into anyone's financial planner.  I want gifts...nothing extravagent. I want to establish a relationship. I want gifts we can both enjoy together.


What are you doing to ensure the financial security and future of your submissive/slaves while you use the money they make to pay for your BDSM lifestyle?

This to me is what makes this aspect either ethical or unethical.  I think an ethical dominant is going to ensure that their slaves/submissive's future is financially secure while making use of the funds they provide.  An unethical dominant will make use of the funds and not care at all about their slaves/submissive's future.  Ensuring their financial security can be as simple as making sure they can afford to provide the funds they are providing.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to DommeFemme415)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Is Financial Domination Scary to You? - 6/26/2007 4:17:11 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
I do believe it was you said something that gave me cause to think about financial domination. It was, in essence, that the money never needed to leave your bank account for him to control it.

This makes a lot of sense to me. Valyraen does not technically access my money, just as he does not technically own me. I would still able to access it in case of emergency but it being in my name legally would not lessen his control over it. I do hope that as we transition into a situation where he has more control over my finances that we do it as gracefully.


Yes, it was me.  He has authority over me, so anything that I am capable of controling he has authority over.  It serves his purpose to set things up this way since it protects my future and I am protected if something happened to both him and Alandra.  His biggest fear for me is that something happens to him and Alandra at the same time and money is the last thing he wants me to worry about in a situation like that.

Thank you for the compliment.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Is Financial Domination Scary to You? - 6/26/2007 4:53:13 AM   
subitodolce


Posts: 39
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CdnExplorer

Yeah the government already does a pretty good job of dominating me in that area. After taxes and student loan payments there isn't much left lol


Amen to that! By the time the bills are paid, there isn't anything to dominate :-p As it is, I work a second job to help pay down the collegiate debt. (Figure it's easier to do that now when I'm unmarried and childless than it will be when I'm married with little ones) I'm a bit of a frugal spender (except when it comes to food...I love to cook!), and my Sir knows it, so he hasn't seen the need to hold influence over that part of my life.

Honestly, if he were to suggest such a thing, I'd probably laugh. :-p

(in reply to CdnExplorer)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Is Financial Domination Scary to You? - 6/26/2007 4:53:59 AM   
MisstressNboytoy


Posts: 34
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: LongTerm24C

You are allowing financial control, which is part of your submission. Not dumb. Financial domination is another animal all together. It is people who pray on the dumbness of others. It is the worse scenerio of prostitution.


This is where you are mistaken.  His authority is not limited in this area just like it is not limited in any other area.  When I wake him up this morning he could tell me to start the process of transferring all his monetary assests that are in my name to him and it would be done with no hesitation.  He has absolute authority in my life and he chooses how to exercise that authority.  He has chosen to exercise his financial authority in this manner because it serves his purpose.

Knight's Kyra


There must be some point where you draw the line, though, right? Would you still do this if he gave no reasonable explanation, just because you have given him absolute authority over your life?

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Is Financial Domination Scary to You? - 6/26/2007 6:57:18 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MisstressNboytoy


....Would you still do this if he gave no reasonable explanation, just because you have given him absolute authority over your life?




Yes she would...  She is my slave and requires no Justification to why I want to do things.. She needs but Clarification to exactly what I want so that she can properly and effectively obey the instruction.

Neither her or Alandra hold things in reserve.  They have made a decision to Trust!... Trust themselves and me.  It is a complete authority transfer... How I make decisions and What decision I actually make continues to validate their decision of trust each and every day.

They didn't jump into this relationship with me out of ignorance.  It wasn't some romantic feel good label to slap on.  They are my slaves.. and that simple means that they transfer authority.  I will exercise the authority in the decisions I choose to make and I will delegate the rest back to them.

and the line is simple:... I don't knowingly make decisions that will cause Harm to their Well-Being!  If this is what is going to occur well.. I expect them to RUN!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to MisstressNboytoy)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Is Financial Domination Scary to You? - 6/26/2007 7:11:37 AM   
GhitaAmati


Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline 		My husband works, and I do not...for us, it is not so much about slavery as it is that I would pay more in daycare for three kids than I would make in a week. Therefore, all cash that comes into our house is controlled by him. If I need something for the kids, I ask him for it...most of the time he gets aggravated because I try very hard to not ask for money for things for myself and its not till he notices that something Im wearing is held together with a safety pin that I go replace anything.  I do run an internet business where we sell native american artifacts, kind of a hobby of ours. Whenever I make a sale, I hand him the money, sometimes he says I can use it myself (normally I use it on the boys anyway!) and sometimes he takes it. I don't question that.

ghita amati

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Is Financial Domination Scary to You? - 6/26/2007 7:16:43 AM   
meticulousgirl


Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline 		This really isn't an interest for myself or my Partner, i dont really agree with the Dom having complete control unless your livein or married where you will obviously need to be sharing expenses, to be honest even seperate accounts would be fine but just setting up a "rental" agreement where household contributions could be made each month. 

Nothing seems to last forever anymore and i guess that's where a lot of people get scary from.  i own a house and have two unmentionables, you may think and believe you can trust someone when your with them but when the relationship ends God only knows.  Anything that's in a Dom's account is the Dom's money legally, I dont want to have all of my savings in someone elses account and be left with nothing if the relationship were to end.


(in reply to MisstressNboytoy)
Profile   Post #: 40
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